Oh, Jesus Christ, this was too funny! I snorted, I slapped my knee--twice!--and I actually fell off the couch. The part where John says "The truth is out there" and it makes Caldwell cry? Brilliant. I used to work at Starbucks so I recognized Elizabeth's speech immediately--priceless! And all of John's "theories"! And of course, Rodney would have a "professional working relationship" with the barista!

You are awesome and I love you for writing this.