And even if John makes the wrong call, he still has to make it. Because he pulled the trigger, and now he's the guy. And the orders he's disobeyed in the past are nothing when counted next to all the ones he's followed, and he knows that sometimes, trusting your CO is the only thing that gets you through the day, and not just physically.
That explains so much about John's actions. He's has to have the answer even if it's a wrong answer. Yes. Excellent.

The whole thing is fantastic. I really, really love the way you get in John's head. I'd be terribly jealous if I didn't like you so much. *g*