We have to bear in mind that Rodney's not against what they're doing, just ambivalent. Trust me, if he didn't want it, he'd have said so in vivid color and given John an earful. But he's turned on and he wants it, at the same time he's thinking "but what does this say about me?"
This isn't the same as a teenage girl losing her virginity. He's not vulnerable and knows exactly what he's doing. For him the issue is the big G-word. He keeps bringing it up time and again: does the fact that I want this, that I like this, that this feels good, mean that I'm gay?
Rodney doesn't like blurry lines and his concept is you're either gay or not-gay, and he's always had himself firmly listed in the "not-gay" column. So he's having to remap his self-image -- something that's very important to him.
We don't see this, of course, because as you mention this is through John's point of view and he's just impatient with Rodney's balking. John has no clue how... pedestrian... Rodney's views sexuality are.
no subject
This isn't the same as a teenage girl losing her virginity. He's not vulnerable and knows exactly what he's doing. For him the issue is the big G-word. He keeps bringing it up time and again: does the fact that I want this, that I like this, that this feels good, mean that I'm gay?
Rodney doesn't like blurry lines and his concept is you're either gay or not-gay, and he's always had himself firmly listed in the "not-gay" column. So he's having to remap his self-image -- something that's very important to him.
We don't see this, of course, because as you mention this is through John's point of view and he's just impatient with Rodney's balking. John has no clue how... pedestrian... Rodney's views sexuality are.
Icarus