I too had a boyfriend like this John, and for me the problem was the contempt and the manipulation. I would never say my ex forced me or that my consent was dubious (although some might say differently since I was legally underage and he was in his 20's)--what he did do was manipulate me, and used my inexperience and naivete against me, in order to get what he wanted. I don't know how it looked from his side of the fence; maybe if I could see things from his POV it might not seem so bad, but from here (and with 20+ years of life experience under my belt), he looks like real creep.