I am so envious of how well you use secondary characters/OC POV. Because it is not just someone narrating what the main characters are doing, they flow into the story and add a whole new perspective to the situation. The Private's own 'relationship' with Steve compared to Sheppard's, the description of Sheppard's actions as:
You’ve never—this is something that girls do, use this kind of thing against people. You’re drooling at them as they drape themselves over your bed wearing nothing but one of your dress shirts, and before you know it, Pierre’s? Uh, sure, we can go there on Friday, and you’re shelling out a hundred and fifty bucks for your next dinner.
I really liked this story if you couldn't tell.
but I too missed the Sports Night reference. I am a bad (and forgetful) SN fan.