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sga_flashfic2006-06-24 10:33 pm
anneten.livejournal.com) wrote in sga_flashfic2006-06-24 10:33 pm
Entry tags:
Therapy for the Therapist [Earthside Challenge]
Ok, this is my first Flash-fic posting so please take that under consideration.
TITLE: Therapy for the therapist
SUMMARY: Dr. Heightmeyer attends her required counseling session at the SGC.
RATING: G. Those of you who know me will be shocked about this.
NOTES: Not beta'd.
Kate Heightmeyer walked through the winding corridors of the SGC, greeting everyone with a smile and a nod. She was killing time; her appointment with Dr. Grau wasn’t for another 15 minutes. Kate didn’t want to be late, but she certainly didn’t want to be early. It was a necessary evil of her chosen profession: to be a shrink, you need to see a shrink. Regularly.
At times like these, Kate understood the apprehension that her patients felt when they arrived at their sessions with her. She just experienced it a lot less. Dr. Heightmeyer did not have the benefit of personal counseling during her first year in Atlantis; however, now that contact to Earth had been established, she was required to do it once a quarter. Twice a year, the psychiatrist would come on the Daedalus. The other two times, Kate went to him, returning on the Daedalus within a day after her session.
Glancing at her watch, she decided that she had enough time to grab a mug of tea from the chow hall. Kate detoured into the dining facility. The place was almost empty; the sole exception was the alien woman that, if Kate read SG-1 correctly, Dr. Jackson couldn’t stand and Col Mitchell found endlessly amusing. She waved at her. “Vala.”
Vala smiled back, the smile of someone who was trying to figure out what Kate could do for her. “Doctor…?”
“Heightmeyer.”
“Dr. Heightmeyer,” Vala said, opening a bag of chips. “The psychiatrist. How are you?”
“I’m fine. I’m on my way to see Dr. Grau,” she added, immediately regretting it. Kate knew that any bit of information offered would be mined for every possible useful nugget by Vala.
“Dr. Grau,” Vala drawled meaningfully. She grabbed a chip and made a point of staring at it. “Having problems sleeping at night, are we?” she said, then glanced up at Kate as she ate the chip.
“Not at all. It’s a requirement . I listen to people all day. At some point, someone has to listen to me.”
“So you get to tell him everything you know about your patients?” Vala seemed very interested about this; Kate got the impression that she viewed this as a source of intel.
“Not really. I get to talk about me. How I feel, how I’m adjusting… besides, anything that’s told to me is confidential. If I do need to discuss specifics about a patient, I make it anonymous and hypothetical.”
Vala’s face showed that she’d lost interest. “Oh. Sounds boring.”
“For some, maybe.” Kate checked her watch. “If you’ll excuse me…”
Vala turned her attention back to her tray and waved Kate away.
Kate walked out, carefully carrying the mug so she didn’t accidentally spill the tea.
The comments made by Vala got Kate thinking. She had never divulged anything specific about individual expedition members during her sessions. In her mind, she couldn’t; the group was small (especially when compared with the SGC) and it would have been easy to cross reference the information given by Kate with the multitude of reports generated by the team. Nothing would ever be truly anonymous.
Kate found it kind of ironic: she was doing exactly what she didn’t want her patients to do. She was holding back in her sessions with her designated therapist.
But what choice did she have? Truthfully, the only person that she could feel comfortable giving full disclosure on was Teyla. Not being from Earth, Teyla didn’t initially realize the stigma associated with therapy and, once someone had explained it to her, she was far enough along in the process that she didn’t care. Since she was a native of the Pegasus Galaxy, the SGC had very little say on whether or not she remained on Sheppard’s team. If Kate spoke about Teyla by name, the Athosian had absolutely nothing to lose.
That was not the case with other members of the expedition. Weir didn’t see her much, but when she did, Elizabeth spoke at length about her doubts and fears. Beckett was plagued by guilt about the affect that the retrovirus had on both Ellia and Col Sheppard, so much so that it invaded his dreams. McKay… well, McKay almost never saw her but when he did, he would be evasive 90% of the time. The other 10% was usually spent in a manic rambling tirade that exposed both his delusions of grandeur and his fear of failure (a fear that he would never EVER admit to anyone outside of her office).
There were a few scientists who regularly attended counseling sessions, each with their own issues (and most of them had problems with McKay). Nothing out of the ordinary, and so nothing that she felt compelled to share.
The soldiers were another story. It was a requirement to see her if certain things happened during a mission: death of a comrade, causing the death of another, physical violence upon one’s person, etc. Harboring another consciousness in one’s brain was recently added to the list, after the incident with Lt Cadman and McKay. Kate had varying degrees of disclosure from the Marines. Most would talk about things that really bothered them but not much else, which was fine by her; at least they were talking. The things that they said though... they saw so many weird and wonderful thing in the Pegasus Galaxy. A person doing an evaluation back on Earth might think that they were cracking up; Kate knew better.
Kate had the greatest difficulty with the two officers in charge. They were very different men, but reacted very similarly to many things, something Kate had chalked up to being ‘a pilot thing’. Neither Col Sheppard nor Maj Lorne made appointments with her unless it was required. Invariably, they would find ways to be off-world when the session time would come around, forcing a string of re-scheduled appointments until Weir put her foot down and ordered them to see Dr. Heightmeyer.
When she’d meet with Lorne, Heightmeyer knew that he did it simply because it was his duty; Lorne was ordered to be there, so he was there. He had the infuriating habit of politely answering her questions with a “yes, ma’am” or “no, ma’am”. When asked to expound, Lorne would give the bare minimum, never giving up anything truly in depth about himself or how he was feeling. And he would always excuse himself promptly when the hour was over.
Sheppard was another story altogether. Like Lorne, he never truly gave anything up about himself. However, Sheppard had his own way of dodging the questions: he asked his own. Once he got bored with the line of questioning, he’d start. Most of the time they were completely random, like the choices for entrees in the dining hall that week or whether she had enough med supplies. Sometimes he’d ask how others had responded to the question, which naturally she couldn’t share. His last method of questioning, which had only been used twice, was to fix a piercing gaze on Heightmeyer and ask the very same question back to her. It was a sign that the session was over, that she’d hit to close to a sore spot in his psyche and there was no way in hell he was going to answer. Most of the time, though, he maintained a relatively good humor throughout, cracking jokes and completely avoiding any revelations about how he was doing emotionally.
Dr. Heightmeyer looked up and realized that she was standing outside of Dr. Grau’s door. She took a long drink of her tea and then took a deep breath as she knocked on the door.
She heard him yell, “Come in!”
As she turned the doorknob, Kate again reflected on the irony of her situation. It was too easy for him to figure out which members of the expedition she was speaking of, which was unacceptable. Despite the patient – doctor privilege, she still feared that too much disclosure would put key members in Dr. Grau’s sights, leading down avenues that she didn’t want any of them to travel. So she chose (yet again) to not divulge very much at all.
And she was going to use a blend of Lorne’s and Sheppard’s therapy techniques to do so.
TITLE: Therapy for the therapist
SUMMARY: Dr. Heightmeyer attends her required counseling session at the SGC.
RATING: G. Those of you who know me will be shocked about this.
NOTES: Not beta'd.
Kate Heightmeyer walked through the winding corridors of the SGC, greeting everyone with a smile and a nod. She was killing time; her appointment with Dr. Grau wasn’t for another 15 minutes. Kate didn’t want to be late, but she certainly didn’t want to be early. It was a necessary evil of her chosen profession: to be a shrink, you need to see a shrink. Regularly.
At times like these, Kate understood the apprehension that her patients felt when they arrived at their sessions with her. She just experienced it a lot less. Dr. Heightmeyer did not have the benefit of personal counseling during her first year in Atlantis; however, now that contact to Earth had been established, she was required to do it once a quarter. Twice a year, the psychiatrist would come on the Daedalus. The other two times, Kate went to him, returning on the Daedalus within a day after her session.
Glancing at her watch, she decided that she had enough time to grab a mug of tea from the chow hall. Kate detoured into the dining facility. The place was almost empty; the sole exception was the alien woman that, if Kate read SG-1 correctly, Dr. Jackson couldn’t stand and Col Mitchell found endlessly amusing. She waved at her. “Vala.”
Vala smiled back, the smile of someone who was trying to figure out what Kate could do for her. “Doctor…?”
“Heightmeyer.”
“Dr. Heightmeyer,” Vala said, opening a bag of chips. “The psychiatrist. How are you?”
“I’m fine. I’m on my way to see Dr. Grau,” she added, immediately regretting it. Kate knew that any bit of information offered would be mined for every possible useful nugget by Vala.
“Dr. Grau,” Vala drawled meaningfully. She grabbed a chip and made a point of staring at it. “Having problems sleeping at night, are we?” she said, then glanced up at Kate as she ate the chip.
“Not at all. It’s a requirement . I listen to people all day. At some point, someone has to listen to me.”
“So you get to tell him everything you know about your patients?” Vala seemed very interested about this; Kate got the impression that she viewed this as a source of intel.
“Not really. I get to talk about me. How I feel, how I’m adjusting… besides, anything that’s told to me is confidential. If I do need to discuss specifics about a patient, I make it anonymous and hypothetical.”
Vala’s face showed that she’d lost interest. “Oh. Sounds boring.”
“For some, maybe.” Kate checked her watch. “If you’ll excuse me…”
Vala turned her attention back to her tray and waved Kate away.
Kate walked out, carefully carrying the mug so she didn’t accidentally spill the tea.
The comments made by Vala got Kate thinking. She had never divulged anything specific about individual expedition members during her sessions. In her mind, she couldn’t; the group was small (especially when compared with the SGC) and it would have been easy to cross reference the information given by Kate with the multitude of reports generated by the team. Nothing would ever be truly anonymous.
Kate found it kind of ironic: she was doing exactly what she didn’t want her patients to do. She was holding back in her sessions with her designated therapist.
But what choice did she have? Truthfully, the only person that she could feel comfortable giving full disclosure on was Teyla. Not being from Earth, Teyla didn’t initially realize the stigma associated with therapy and, once someone had explained it to her, she was far enough along in the process that she didn’t care. Since she was a native of the Pegasus Galaxy, the SGC had very little say on whether or not she remained on Sheppard’s team. If Kate spoke about Teyla by name, the Athosian had absolutely nothing to lose.
That was not the case with other members of the expedition. Weir didn’t see her much, but when she did, Elizabeth spoke at length about her doubts and fears. Beckett was plagued by guilt about the affect that the retrovirus had on both Ellia and Col Sheppard, so much so that it invaded his dreams. McKay… well, McKay almost never saw her but when he did, he would be evasive 90% of the time. The other 10% was usually spent in a manic rambling tirade that exposed both his delusions of grandeur and his fear of failure (a fear that he would never EVER admit to anyone outside of her office).
There were a few scientists who regularly attended counseling sessions, each with their own issues (and most of them had problems with McKay). Nothing out of the ordinary, and so nothing that she felt compelled to share.
The soldiers were another story. It was a requirement to see her if certain things happened during a mission: death of a comrade, causing the death of another, physical violence upon one’s person, etc. Harboring another consciousness in one’s brain was recently added to the list, after the incident with Lt Cadman and McKay. Kate had varying degrees of disclosure from the Marines. Most would talk about things that really bothered them but not much else, which was fine by her; at least they were talking. The things that they said though... they saw so many weird and wonderful thing in the Pegasus Galaxy. A person doing an evaluation back on Earth might think that they were cracking up; Kate knew better.
Kate had the greatest difficulty with the two officers in charge. They were very different men, but reacted very similarly to many things, something Kate had chalked up to being ‘a pilot thing’. Neither Col Sheppard nor Maj Lorne made appointments with her unless it was required. Invariably, they would find ways to be off-world when the session time would come around, forcing a string of re-scheduled appointments until Weir put her foot down and ordered them to see Dr. Heightmeyer.
When she’d meet with Lorne, Heightmeyer knew that he did it simply because it was his duty; Lorne was ordered to be there, so he was there. He had the infuriating habit of politely answering her questions with a “yes, ma’am” or “no, ma’am”. When asked to expound, Lorne would give the bare minimum, never giving up anything truly in depth about himself or how he was feeling. And he would always excuse himself promptly when the hour was over.
Sheppard was another story altogether. Like Lorne, he never truly gave anything up about himself. However, Sheppard had his own way of dodging the questions: he asked his own. Once he got bored with the line of questioning, he’d start. Most of the time they were completely random, like the choices for entrees in the dining hall that week or whether she had enough med supplies. Sometimes he’d ask how others had responded to the question, which naturally she couldn’t share. His last method of questioning, which had only been used twice, was to fix a piercing gaze on Heightmeyer and ask the very same question back to her. It was a sign that the session was over, that she’d hit to close to a sore spot in his psyche and there was no way in hell he was going to answer. Most of the time, though, he maintained a relatively good humor throughout, cracking jokes and completely avoiding any revelations about how he was doing emotionally.
Dr. Heightmeyer looked up and realized that she was standing outside of Dr. Grau’s door. She took a long drink of her tea and then took a deep breath as she knocked on the door.
She heard him yell, “Come in!”
As she turned the doorknob, Kate again reflected on the irony of her situation. It was too easy for him to figure out which members of the expedition she was speaking of, which was unacceptable. Despite the patient – doctor privilege, she still feared that too much disclosure would put key members in Dr. Grau’s sights, leading down avenues that she didn’t want any of them to travel. So she chose (yet again) to not divulge very much at all.
And she was going to use a blend of Lorne’s and Sheppard’s therapy techniques to do so.
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Nice to see something about Heightmeyer. She gets ignored, and that's sad. Love her loyalty to the people she counsels and the decision to take a leaf out of their book.
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Glad you liked!
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I'm so happy that you enjoyed it.
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Love her thoughts on Shep and Lorne... :-)
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The private practice angle would definitely make things different. She wouldn't have to worry about repeating things because in that realm, no one would be designated for additional evaluation or lose their jobs outright.
Also, are you going to update 'memoranda from the edge' anytime soon? We *lurves* that ongoing story!!!
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When I got to "the two officers in charge," I thought at first you might mean Sheppard and Caldwell (though of course Caldwell's not really in charge on Atlantis, except when John and Elizabeth are both being possessed by murderous aliens.) So, now I'm wondering - what would your take on Caldwell's therapy sessions be? Though I'm guessing he probably sees the SGC therapist.
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I never thought about scheduling Caldwell for a session. In light of what happened with Go'auld, he's a prime candidate for regular therapy. I might just have to do a short story on his visit with his therapist. And, yes, it would most likely be the one on earth.
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And Kate is in a bind. I do wonder a bit why she's using Lorne's balking and Sheppard's counterattacks instead of, say, making herself emotionally available... about something that doesn't touch on her patients, like the galaxy itself, or being far from home. Misdirection.
You'd think Dr Grau would see through Lorne's and Sheppard's techniques as easily as she does. I mean, in fifty minutes four times a year, she could get away with nearly anything, all he can do is keep assessing her, there *is* practically no therapeutic relationship, but if she seemed to be opening up about *something*, he likely wouldn't even realise she was holding back unless he was a) very good, or b) knew her, or more likely c) both.
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Your statements about Kate and her misdirection does have me thinking. I suppose it's a bit of transference on my part. If I wanted to keep something completely unknown, I would fear that revealing any part of me would inadvertently cause that unknown to be revealed.
Like the rest of the expedition, I think that Kate probably views Atlantis as home and the expedition as family. And therefore, I think she'd want to protect them as much as possible.
Plus, I admit that I find Lorne's and Sheppard's efforts during their sessions to be amusing, especially because it's almost a game. Kate (in my story) does the same and therefore turns her session into something that can be entertaining for her.
Again, thanks for reading and glad you enjoyed.
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