Preface to the Memoirs of General N. M. Lorne by Miriel

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

Author: miriel
Title: Preface to the Memoirs of General N.M. Lorne
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Gen
Word Count: 765
Summary: For those who survived the first few years, Atlantis herself proved both a blessing and a curse.
Warnings: It's the Dark Side challenge, people.
A/N: Thanks to wychwood for beta services. This is a short stab at a concept I've been playing around with for a while now; I hope it works for you.

Preface to the Memoirs of Gen. N. M. Lorne

---

There was a saying that was popular at the SGC when I served there:

Once you’ve gone through the ‘Gate, you can never go back.

It is disturbingly true; no one transfers out of the Stargate Program of their own free will. Most servicemen leave the program in body bags. This accounts for the fact that the program has remained a remarkably well-kept secret for as long as it has. The first words anyone learns upon transferring to any aspect of the program – Area 51, SGC, or Atlantis – is a variation on the theme of “What happens at the mountain, stays at the mountain.”

I have dedicated the last thirty years of my life to the Stargate Program, and they have been good years – first at the SGC and later in Atlantis. There are rumors that when (then) Colonel O’Neill was brought back into the Stargate Program, General Hammond asked him if he’d thought about writing memoirs. O’Neill is reputed to have said that he’d thought about it, but that he’d have to shoot anyone who read it because a large portion of his career up until that point had been classified. I don’t know if he ever followed up on the conversation or not. I find myself in a similar situation. Someday, the Stargate Program will be declassified and what I write may or may not be published. Regardless, I feel I have an obligation to leave a record of events as I have seen them.

I was not a member of the first Atlantis Expedition, I arrived on the USAF Daedalus following the expedition’s reconnection with Earth. All of us in the second wave were warned that there was a very real possibility Atlantis would be a one-way trip. Stories of life-sucking-aliens, a vindictively sentient city, and hostile natives were plentiful. We went out there fully expecting to end up on the wrong end of the city’s rumored AI. We ended up on the wrong side, all right, just not in a way anyone considered. The city loved those with the ATA gene, natural or artificial, and there were a lot of us. Everyone who shipped out for Atlantis received the gene therapy to allow interaction with Ancient technology; it took in just under 50% of us. The problem wasn’t that the city didn’t love us, it was that she loved us all too well.

When the world learns of Atlantis, they will learn of the brave explorers who risked their lives to establish the base there and befriend the natives. They will learn about the unspeakable enemy that so many of us gave our lives fighting against. They will learn about the mysterious and wonderful technology that was discovered. They will learn of the lives of brave volunteers lost to countless incidents whose details will never be remembered.

All of this is true. Every single expedition member faced hundreds of threats during their time in the city; we each surmounted innumerable odds to make it through a year alive, never mind five.

What they will not learn is that there were side-effects to living in the city that we never imagined. They will not learn about those who decided to rotate back to the SGC after a tour in Atlantis and collapsed in seizures on their first home leave in three years, because the chemical associated with Ancient Technology use (Known now as ATA-S) had built up in their bloodstreams and overloaded their nervous systems. They will not learn about the children born in Atlantis who received the therapy in their first year of life as a protective measure, whose parents learned far too late that they would never be able to take their children ‘home’ to Earth. They will not learn of the children whose parents decided to take them to Earth anyway, attempting to counter the ATA-S build-up with experimental treatments; children who invariably died of rare neurological diseases and inoperable brain tumors.

Atlantis has been a blessing and a curse to those of us who have lived within her walls. She welcomed us with open arms, but she is an unforgiving mistress. The stories contained within these pages may seem fantastical, even impossible, but believe me when I say that they are only a small portion of all that we have seen and done in the Pegasus Galaxy.

In closing, I dedicate this book to my children:

Thomas, who has never known the grandfather he was named for
&
Beth, who has grown up in the shadow of her namesake.

Comments

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

(BTW, I'm all giggly that you're now into SGA)

I know, it's a shame that the show's totally never getting into the long term side-effects of the gene therapy. It would be fun.

It's not so much that Atlantis hurts them (Naturals and Artificials alike), more that it's a physiological adaptation. Everyone who has the Gene produces seriously elevated ATA-S levels once they've been in Atlantis a while - you use the chemical in day-to-day interactions with the city on both a conscious and unconscious level (Ancient tech has both a physical and mental component in its use; it stands to reason that a chemical is produced in the bloodstream, a specific neurotransmitter, that's unique to Ancient Tech usage. Over prolonged exposure, 'normal' production levels of the chemical (which is burned off in usage of the tech) become much higher).

Given the SGC's tendency towards 'lifers', and the need for ATA+ people in Atlantis to start with, no one who has the Gene rotates back to Earth much. Those who do so while in their first year have only minor side effects; they were mild enough that no one realized it was Ancient Tech withdrawl. It's when you've spent 2-3 years stationed to the city that your 'normal' biochemistry permanently shifts to higher ATA-S production.

The trick of it, is that those with the natural Gene also have the ability to reabsorb what ATA-S they don't burn off. Those who got the therapy didn't get that feature because they didn't know about it. "Naturals" have step-down side effects, but their bodies are designed to handle them so they're non-lethal. It's the "Artificials" who begin showing symptoms at 3 weeks away from tech - the amount of time it takes the chemical to build up to critical levels in their system.

See, it was assumed everything to do with ATA-S was on the one gene. It wasn't. Now, hypothetically, they could put the adults who received the treatment into a 2-3 year stepdown program in Antarctica. But the children whose bodies have known only the high ATA-S levels and who don't have the gene for reabsorbtion are never going to be able to function at a lowered level. It's affected the development of their nervous system. The adults who got the therapy already had fully developed nervous systems, so it was a lesser adjustment. "Natural" kids who grow up in the Ancient Tech heavy environ *can* adapt down, but it's a painful process.

In this particular instance, I don't think Atlantis is intentionally vindictive so much as thoughtless. It doesn't occur to the city that people would have the gene artificially, and the city doesn't realize the harm it's doing to the "Artificials" by providing so much stimulation. The dark side isn't so much that the city is cruel, but that there's a price to pay for access to all of this technology - for the 'magic' gene therapy.

[neviachiel.livejournal.com]

(BTW, I'm all giggly that you're now into SGA)

Haha. I bet you are. This stuff is like crack.

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

*Giggles and looks innocent*

Crack? Really? I never would have guessed...