sga_flashfic | Kryptonite in the Palms of Her Hands by Mhalachaiswords (Superpowers challenge)

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Kryptonite in the Palms of Her Hands by Mhalachaiswords (Superpowers challenge)

Kryptonite in the Palms of Her Hands
The Secret Superpowers Challenge by

Characters: Teyla Emmagen, John Sheppard, others
Genre: Gen, friendship.
Setting: Set generically after season 2, no spoilers for anything.
Rating: PG
Word count:: 2,790

cover art by the lovely and talented

obaona (won first place in

stargate_still's special challenge #5)

Three Days

Teyla hadn't spoken in three days. Not since the Ancient retrovirus raging through her veins twisted up her vocal cords, finally stopping her agonized screaming as her DNA rewrote itself.

She slept now. John sat slumped in a corner, watching her take in slow, raspy pants of air. He hadn't been able to do anything for her, not since this started, but at least he could sit here and keep her company. Just... just in case.

He hadn't been able to close his ears, hadn't been able to stop himself from overhearing Elizabeth and Carson talking in the corner where they thought no one could hear. John hadn't needed to know that the retrovirus had reacted violently with Teyla's Wraith genes, that her internal organs had been all stirred up under the strain. Carson's soft voice hadn't hidden his weariness from a week at Teyla's bedside, when he told Elizabeth that he doubted Teyla would ever be able to have children, or if she would ever be able to walk properly again.

John let his head fall back against the wall. Teyla didn't look all that different, lying on her side under the thin white sheet. One of her hands lay on top of the sheet, her slim fingers curled into the cloth.

It wasn't her fault that this had happened. As far as Carson could tell, the retrovirus was designed to give a human with the Ancient gene something like superpowers, greater strength, hearing, speed. It was not designed to work on someone with Wraith DNA.

It was the strangest thing, to know that when Teyla woke, John would once again see Wraith-like eyes in Teyla's face. Strangely, once he got over the shock, the eyes didn't bother John.

John had tried to tell Teyla that he understood; he'd turned into a bug once, after all. But the words hadn't come.

Three Weeks

The physical therapy was working, Carson said. Teyla was walking again, and they were pretty sure that she'd be able to leave the infirmary for good in another week.

John wasn't so sure. Teyla might have been doing okay physically, but Carson hadn't seen her huddled in the corner of the infirmary, hair hanging down to hide her eyes from passers-by, as she stared at the unmarked palms of her hands.

Everyone on Atlantis knew what had happened. John had his hands full, shutting down the whispers between Marines about Teyla becoming a monster, a danger to the expedition. He wasn't able to do the same to the scientists, so he mentally catalogued every word he heard, filed it away to the part of his mind that never forgot.

The people from Earth weren't John's only problem. Ronon categorically refused to see Teyla, even going so far as to disobey a direct order from John. Ronon hadn't said why, but John read it in his eyes. Teyla was no longer us. She was them.

Finally, on a day that might have been a Friday, John offloaded his work onto Lorne and headed down to the infirmary. Teyla was curled up on a chair on the far side of the room, her hair loose and hiding her face as she stared down at the book in her lap.

"Hey," John said as he approached. Teyla didn't look up, only closed her book. "Mind if I sit down?" He stood beside the empty chair until Teyla nodded, a jerky movement of her head. "Thanks."

Teyla laid her book on the ground. With a glance around the infirmary, she took a deep breath and tucked her hair back behind her ear, giving John a steady stare with her changed eyes.

John stared back. "How's the physical therapy going?" he asked, slouching down in his chair.

The corner of Teyla's mouth twitched as she pointed at her throat. Then she pointed at John, then at the far door.

"I'm not leaving." As if to illustrate his point, he crossed his arms over his chest. "I came down to see how you were."

Teyla stood, the new muscles in her legs giving her movements a slithering grace. She tried to walk away, but John sprang up and grabbed her wrist. She pulled back in a blur of speed, wrenching John's arm. Her hands were up, warding him off, and John saw something there that made his blood run cold. He grabbed her hand again, this time holding her palm up to the light.

On the flat of her right palm, a long red scratch marked the skin, echoing the feeding mark of a Wraith.

John ran his thumb over the scratch, smearing tiny drops of blood. "I'm going to get Carson," he said around the panic in his chest. "He'll--"

Teyla shook her head, gripping his arm.

"Teyla, if there's another change--"

Teyla squeezed his arm painfully, shutting him up. She brought up her left hand and mimed dragging her thumbnail down her right palm.

Oh. For a moment, John felt intense relief, that Teyla wasn't turning into a Wraith, that she wasn't going to have to start feeding on humans. Then his heart sank. "You did this?"

Teyla pulled away, clenching her fists tightly as she went back to her chair. She refused to look at him.

After a minute, John joined her. Everything about her body language screamed 'back off, don't touch', so he only pulled his chair a little closer. "You're not... you're not like that."

No reaction.

"Carson said the retrovirus has run its course," John continued. "No more changes." Teyla turned her head and stared at the far end of the infirmary. Not sure if she had heard something or was just ignoring him, John pressed on. "You should know, you're not... We're still here for you."

Even as the words left his mouth, John knew they were a lie. Ronon sure wasn't, and Rodney... well, Rodney was the reason Teyla had been infected in the first place. In his arrogant and unthinking attempt to give himself superpowers, he'd accidentally subjected Teyla to the same airborne retrovirus.

The retrovirus didn't work on anyone with the ATA gene therapy, anyway.

Still watching the far end of the infirmary, Teyla pressed her lips together and paled. She turned her head to John a moment before Carson and Elizabeth walked in the door.

John knew she had gotten some of the benefits from the retrovirus, but it occurred to him, as Carson walked toward them with the face of a man about to deliver bad news, that Teyla had been listening to a conversation three rooms away.

The chill that ran up his spine had nothing to do with the temperature.

Three Months

John danced back as Teyla swung her sticks in his direction. He hadn't been a match for her before her abilities increased; now, it was all he could do to stay on his feet.

Teyla watched him, and John now knew that her new eyes could see infrared as well as ultraviolet, the whole gamut of the spectrum. Still, it was just like old times as Teyla turned to the side, telegraphing her next move to him. Confidently, he stepped into the attack, a dance burned into his muscles' memory. They had started this routine to help Teyla adapt to her new strength and speed to dealing with humans, but it was more to it than just the physical. This was a tie to Teyla's past, something she could still do after the change.

It was one of the only things. Even after Carson had declared Teyla fit for duty, Elizabeth hadn't let her go off-world. John had argued until he was blue in the face, but Elizabeth had been unmoved. They couldn't risk it, she said.

Unable to sway Elizabeth, John had essentially disbanded his team, sticking Ronon with Lorne's team and keeping Rodney on Atlantis. He told everyone it was only temporary, until Teyla had permission to go off-world... but deep in his heart, he suspected it wasn't ever going to be the same again. Ronon had even taken to leaving the room whenever Teyla entered. As for Rodney, he and Teyla had apparently come to some kind of understanding, but he wouldn't say what and Teyla... well.

John ducked again as Teyla twirled her sticks, gliding over the floor on the balls of her feet. She was a sight to behold, a little more alien than before but still completely Teyla. John would never get tired of watching her in action.

Elizabeth had been the one to go to the mainland to talk to the Athosians. Teyla refused to set foot in the Jumper, and John knew that if things went badly, he would have done something unfortunate. As it was, even Elizabeth had come back furious. When the Athosians had heard the changes Teyla had experienced, they had essentially abjured her.

No one had seen Teyla for two days after that, until John shanghaied Rodney into jury-rigging the life-signs detector to find her, in a remote corner of the south-east pier. She seemed too calm when John caught up with her, but he didn't know how to ask her how she was doing. She wouldn't have been able to tell him, anyway.

Now, Teyla stepped in and disarmed John with a flick of the wrist. John yelped at the sting, but he didn't flinch as Teyla's sticks flew toward his face, stopping less than an inch from his nose. He trusted Teyla not to hurt him. That much hadn't changed.

Teyla stepped back, lowering her sticks and bowing formally. John bowed back, then headed over to the side of the room where he left his water bottle. After a swig, he offered the bottle to Teyla. She declined with a small shake of her head.

John shrugged and sat on the bench, needing to rest for a moment before he stretched. Teyla gathered up the staves and laid them on the shelf before joining John on the bench.

Silence with Teyla had always been companionable, and that hadn't changed now that she couldn't speak. "So," John said. "Coming to movie night tomorrow?"

Teyla raised an eyebrow.

"It won't be that bad," John protested. "I hear it's a new movie from Earth, and even Elizabeth wants to see it."

Teyla smiled, but shook her head. She lifted her hand and tapped a finger to her ear.

"Too loud?" John asked. He had always been able to read her body language, and the modified gestures she now used to communicate with him were easy enough to understand.

She nodded, then dropped her gaze. With a sigh, she held her hand an inch from her hair and mimed raking her hand through her hair.

"Yeah, I guess Ronon would be there too," John admitted. "Hey, maybe we can set up a feed in one of the labs."

Teyla snapped her fingers, mimicking one of Rodney's nervous gestures, then pretend to type.

"McKay's busy, yeah, but we can interrupted him for this."

Teyla smiled faintly. She slipped a little closer to John on the bench. Her face lost its amusement as she hesitated for a long moment, then reached for his hands.

"What's up?" John asked. This was new.

Teyla pressed his hands together.

"You want me to do something?"

She nodded, releasing his hands. She held out her own hands, palms up, then traced her left thumb over the unmarked skin on her right palm.

Unease pooled in John's stomach. "I don't understand," he said.

Teyla glared at him. With jerky moments, she pointed at her eyes, then at her throat, then repeated the gesture with her hand.

John pulled back. "This isn't-- no. No, Carson said you're not going to change any more. This is as far as the retrovirus goes."

For the third time, Teyla dragged her thumb over her palm.

The air seemed a little thin. John sucked in a deep breath. "I still don't get it."

Teyla hesitated for a moment. She tapped her chest, repeated the palm thing, then reached out with her right hand and pressed her palm against John's chest in a disturbing echo of a Wraith feeding.

Then Teyla pulled her hand back, curled her fingers up, leaving her index finger and thumb straight, and brought the mimed gun up to her temple.

"No," John exclaimed, grabbing her hand. "You're not going to change any more, so stop thinking like that!"

Teyla deliberately pushed John off her, then repeated the motions. John winced as she mimicked the recoil of a gun.

"You're not going to change."

Chest tap. Thumb scraped over palm. Hand pressed to John's chest. Gun to her temple. Bang.

"I can't do that."

Her hand pressed to John's chest, hot though his sweaty t-shirt.

"Don't ask me to do this."

Ronon could do it, and sleep the sleep of the just. Rodney would never be able to kill Teyla... unless she tried to feed on him.

Teyla curled her fist into John's shirt, holding on. He didn't need her to speak to feel the pain vibrating in her limbs. Hadn't he felt the same thing when he changed into the Iratus bug? The terror that he would lose himself to the monster, and no one would know in time to stop him?

She opened her mouth and moved her lips, almost begging.

"Don't make me promise this."

Don't make me be on the other end of the gun again.

"You're not going to change any more."

Don't make me promise to kill you.

Silence.

"I won't let you hurt anyone."

Don't do this to me. But the promise had been made, and the tightness in Teyla's eyes eased.

The room was silent, testament to what he had just sworn he would do.

Three Years

John sat across the campfire from Teyla, watching the light of the yellow flames flicker over her face. They were on second watch, the sun about to rise on this alien planet. Three yards away, Rodney snored in his tent while Tor'neh, a Jaffa recruit from the Milky Way galaxy, kel-noreemed his way through the night.

This was John's team now. It stung that Ronon had opted to work with Lorne, but not as much as John had expected. At least the former Runner had softened toward Teyla.

Of course, it hadn't hurt that on their first mission out after Teyla's change, she had single-handedly saved the team from a Wraith attack. Ronon had been particularly impressed with the stories of how Teyla decapitated one Wraith with her bare hands. The memory still gave John chills, but Ronon thought it was a funny tale to tell over dinner.

People found it easy to pretend that since Teyla couldn't talk, she couldn't hear them when they spoke about her. John wanted to scream at them that she could hear a footfall a mile away, that she heard every whisper and taunt, but he held his tongue and kept track of the names. He'd play along with her fiction, the thin veneer of normality she held in place over herself in Atlantis.

Off-world, however, in only the company of her team, Teyla dropped the facade. She let herself use the increased agility and speed, the strength that lay coiled in her limbs. Each time she smiled off-world, a little bit of the guilt eased from Rodney's face. Every time that she saved their necks from the enemy, Tor'neh, a veteran of the Earth-Orii war, was just a little more impressed with Teyla as a warrior.

Every night, when they sat like this in the dark, John remembered the promise he'd made, almost three years before. Since then, he'd often wondered about the price that came with every gift in the Pegasus Galaxy, every blessing and its accompanying curse. He'd been really into comics book as a kid, especially Superman. Had Clark Kent's parents ever thought about what would happened if their superpowered adopted son had become a monster? Had they ever had that conversation about the what ifs?

Teyla's eyes caught the firelight with an odd glow. Soon, the sun would rise, John would drag Rodney out of his sleeping bag, and they'd set off for another day in search of the rumored ZPM on the planet.

It wasn't ever going to be like the old days, but even those days hadn't been normal. So what if Teyla was able to hear an alien squirrel a mile away, or lift Rodney over her head with one hand? She wasn't a monster, no more than the rest of them. She was still her, Clark Kent and Superman in one.

John just hated thinking that he was her kryptonite.

-fin

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Wow. Very freaky, very impressive. *gets chills*

Thank you. This idea has been bantering around in my head for a while, after I first watched "Michael"... anyway, this was cathartic and a blast to write.

Oh, wow. This is great, and totally heart-wrenching (in a very good way). And really liked John's thoughts at the end about "the price that came with every gift in the Pegasus Galaxy, every blessing and its accompanying curse."

Thank you. I think by this point in John's time in the Pegasus galaxy, he'd be pretty much sick of the twists life keeps throwing him (and his team).

I love this - brilliant. Nice to see something from a different character. And the descriptives - great!

Thanks for sharing!

Thank you. I like to write about Teyla; she's certainly underused for a team member (plus I like little Amazonian women, to borrow a phrase from fandom).

This was just so satisfying. I think you hit the secret part right at the end: John. He's the one that bears the burden of the promise between them, making him a superman in his own right.

I felt so bad for Teyla and tamped down my urge to demand that everything be shiny and happy in the end. Because the end was what it should be and that's what made it work.

Thanks.

Thank you. Yes, it occured to me coming up the steps that the superpower is Teyla's, while the secret is John's.

Things were sort of shiny in the end. While the team was different, Teyla still had friends and a place, even though she had changed. Rodney and Teyla had an understanding even though it was all his fault. Even Ronon was able to unbend a little... but not a lot. Life goes on in its different forms.

Extremly intense emotions in this story...but it was wonderful, every type written word of it!

The most shocking part for me was after John and Teyla's sparring match where she mimed the motion of John to kill her should she ever turn wraith/monster...I didn't get it at first and when I did...talk about a sledge hammer to the chest...

Thanks for this story

Thank you.

Trying to describe that scene was difficult, both logistically and emotionally. Of all the people for Teyla to ask that of... painful on both ends. Real friendship between warriors has its interesting pitfalls.

This was lovely -- I particularly like the three days- three weeks - three months - etc symmetry. And the way that Teyla dealt with being shunned by the Athosians, with everything, struck me as very Teyla. It's nice to see a story in this challenge that doesn't automatically equate superpowers with improvement -- the darker side, as it were. Thank you for this!

The three's came to me late in the game, but it fit very well with the story I wanted to tell.

As for the shunning, I can't see them acting any other way. How do you react when the enemy that has been killing your people forever suddenly is part of your leader? If it was just the DNA, they can (and seem to be doing so) ignore that, but with visible signs and no way for her to defend herself... not good.

I suspect that last week's challenge was still dragging at my head when I wrote this. Nothing in the Pegasus galaxy seems to be sunshine and light.

I really hurt for all of them. Heart wrenching, yet hopeful too.

Thanks for the compliment on my writing :) Yes, always have to end on the hope. There's always hope, after all.

This is beautiful. Sad and a bit disturbing, yes, but I think the heart here is the bond and the friendship between John and Teyla, and it's lovely, and that makes all the other emotions that much more intense. Lovely.

The show doesn't have a chance much to delve into the friendships between characters (except in something like last night's episode, Sateda: Wow, what a great ep) so it's great to do stuff like that in fic.

Wow. What a great story. It's scary to think of something like this happening to Teyla, but it's sort of an extreme version of her life. She doesn't really belong with the earth people or with her own people anymore. She's somewhere in between. The team is really her family now. And though it saddens me to think of Ronon turning his back on her, I could almost see it happening. Nobody has such hatred toward the Wraith as he does. Really nice job. Poor Teyla, though.

Thank you. I think it's part of my desire to learn more about Teyla, writing trauma fic for her. I really hope we learn more about her in the next few months on the show.

Plus, she's a survivor. She's tough.

Oh WOW. I love the non-romantic interaction of John and Teyla in fic, and yours did it so well.

Thank you. I'm also a fan of that sort of interaction (well, any Teyla friendship stuff for that matter, but there's something about John and Teyla as buds that gets to me)

Great friendship fic for John and Teyla. I'm angry at everyone else over how they treat her after the change, but John's behavior is that of a true friend. This is especially thought provoking after her admission in Sateda that she has often felt like an outsider among our people. How lonely and hurt she must be. And not being able to talk or verbally defend herself or express her rage at the 'verse...well, I'd go crazy after awhile. But this is why Teyla (and John) rule.

Thank you.

I figured that everyone would look at Teyla's conversion in their own way. John, having done something similiar, would see past it and to Teyla. Rodney would be wracked with guilt and that's one of the reason's he's not really in this story much. That's a whole different tale. Ronon... he sees someone contaminated by the Wraith and he can't see past that, not at first. Elizabeth has to look beyond the group and see what others would think (and eventually, she let Teyla back on the team again).

I didn't watch Sateda until after I wrote this, but I know exactly what you mean. That was quite the confession (and quite a fun scene with John's bumbling.)

This was perfect. I love how she turned to John, because he was the only one who could understand and do what was necessary and how you showed how hard and bitter that was for him and Teyla . . . she speaks so much without words, but her words are one of her stronger aspects and to take that away . . . This was very dark and powerful.

Thank you. I had "Conversion" on my mind when I wrote this, and I am always interested in the relationships John has with the people on Atlantis.

Plus, I love Teyla, and the possibilities with her character. I am a huge fan of strong female characters with a hint of the superpowers.

This was brilliant. The last line... Best last line ever.

Yeah, the more I see that line, the more I like it. Sometimes I love the writing process, of having words just come to you. I really missed this.

And I like the rest of this as well. It took me a bit to get back to writing, but these short pieces help me exorcise the plot demons and get my fingers a-typing again.

Plus, SGA is a great fandom, with great people and great writer support. And wicked characters :D

Beautifully story. Wonderfully done. Thanks.

I'm glad you enjoyed the story :)

Holy crap. No, seriously, you had me practically in tears when she was asking John to kill her. I cannot tell you how much I thoroughly LOVED this fic. I think you really nailed the reactions of the characters in this one -- no matter how close Ronon is to someone, a Wraith is a Wraith is a Wraith, and Rodney would completely clam up after the fact. Imagining Teyla's pain at the virtual loss of two of her closest friends during her time of need is heartbreaking.

I am a huge fan of the relationship and friendship between John and Teyla, and this fic showed it off to its fullest capacity. We know that they are close to the point where it's eery, and I can definitely see him coming through for her when no one else did. I love the way you showed both his protectiveness of Teyla and his determination to treat her the same as he always has. The secret that he carries would be such a huge burden for him (he doesn't ever want to give up on her but also can't jeopardize the safety of their other friends), but the fact that he chose to promise her that is so true to their connection. Witnessing Teyla's changes through his eyes was, I think, even more painful than if it was a first-person story. Really loved that choice.

Um, yeah, I could go on for pages about how much I liked this, but needless to say you did a fantastic job. One of the best fics I have ever, ever read, and I definitely hope to see more of you for this pairing. Friendship stuff rules the world. :D

Wow, this is quite the comment. Thanks so much for this, it totally made my week.

I too am a huge fan of the friendships on this show, and the John and Teyla one has been building for quite some time. I like how it's easy, they don't worry about it really, just carry on with the fight.

Choosing to write this from John's POV made it so much easier to tell. Writing trauma from the victi's POV requires an insane amount of effort and it's easy to get wrong, because everyone seems to have an opinion on how trauma should be suffered by the characters. IT's not a bad thing, it's how most people deal with fiction (relate it to themselves). But it makes writing problematic, and I end up having to spend forever dealing with the other issues, rather than tell the story.

To make a long story short (too late), it allowed me to get on with the story of John's sooper-dooper sekrut superpower.

And yes, friendship fic rocks.

Wow, This was great.

I loved thst there was no fix or happy ending, that what is, is, and they have to live with it. The emotion jumps clearly off the page, and the scene after Teyla and Sheppard practiced with the sticks was so clear and painfull - very well written.

Thanks for writing :)

I like to write things that don't have a quick fix. Consequences are so important, I think, to a plausible story.

Thanks for reading :)

Oh, wow. This was just magnificent. It made me cry - poor Teyla. Poor John. *sigh* ♥

Thank you. This sort of story's been in my head for a while... and really, John and Teyla friendship is awesome. Did you see the latest SGA episode? It's canon now, too :)

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iamabee-buzz.livejournal.com - 2006-08-08 17:10 (UTC) - Expand

This was just amazing. I've said this before, and I'll say it again - you have the characters down pat and fantastic plot bunnies running about your head.

John just hated thinking that he was her kryptonite. Poor John - great line.

Thank you. I love the SGA universe. The Wraith are an amazing enemy, and the team have (has?) such a great dynamic. Team Shep (+Elizabeth) are great.

That line... it's funny what comes out of my brain sometimes. I love that line too.

Oh, how beautiful and sad all at once. Lovely.

Thank you for reading :)

Excellent story. I, too, like to see someone other than John or Rodney being featured, but even more, to have her featured in such a wonderful story. Lyrical, logical, and poignant--and believable. Well done!

Thank you. I tend to fangirl all over the tiny-girl-with-superpowers in any fandom, and Teyla's just so cool. She needs more quality fic to her name, and I'm willing to do my part :)

Hi Mhalachai,
This was just an "Awesome story".
Especially Loved the ending:
"John just hated thinking that he was her kryptonite."
Thanks very muchly and I do hope to read more of John/Teyla centred fics soon.
Cheers

Oh wow. This was achingly beautiful and painful all at the same time. I enjoyed the spin you took with the challenge, separating the superpower from the secret like that.

I don't get to read many good gen stories, and very few gen or friendship themed Teyla/John ones. Your portrail of the characters felt so real and so possible and so... touchable.

Keep up the wonderful writing.

Thank you. Both John and Teyla are good at keeping secrets, and I wanted them to have something all of their own, too appalling and painful but still totally them. If that makes any sense.

This was wonderful. A little frightening, rather sad, but not hopeless in the end even with John's burden. It's so nice to see a Teyla-John friendship story. Thank you for sharing.

I'm glad you enjoyed the story. The thing I like about that is that, even though Teyla's been pretty much abandoned by everyone, she hasn't lost hope. She has John and Rodney, and that's enough. She also has the fall-back of John in this situation. Just in case.

I love John-Teyla friendship. Frankly, I think the world could stand more boy-girl friendship stories (because it happens all the time, and should be reflected as such on the television). Or something :)

I've got to hug

snoggingpicard for reccing this in Stargateficrec. The "Three Months" section was downright heartbreaking and the whole fic was amazing. Thank you for sharing it. :-)

Heck, I'm going to hug her too! Seeing my fic pop up on the recs page was a whole bunch of glee :D I'm glad you liked this fic. The Teyla/John friendship is always facinating to me, especially after Sateda.

Wonderful story. It was a pleasure to read this. You know that Teyla took "The Gift" hard in season 1, and this is a very real possibility. to take away ALL of her powers of diplomacy. Very angsty. Nicely done.

Thank you! I was always facinated by Teyla's character, and by the revelations in the Gift. I wish the writers had picked up on that and carried it further. But maybe in later seasons. A girl can always dream :D

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wav.livejournal.com - 2006-10-09 04:14 (UTC) - Expand

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