Lost in Waiting by Lacey McBain, NC-17 [Virgin]

[laceymcbain.livejournal.com]

Title: Lost in Waiting
Author: Lacey McBain
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~14,800 (I know!!)
Timeline: Set vaguely in the middle of S2 - definitely post-Runner, but with references to S1.
Summary: "You can’t have it both ways, Colonel. If you haven’t had any relationships, either you’re having the occasional one-night stand or you’re not having sex at all.”
Disclaimer: SGA doesn't belong to me. But you already knew that.
Author Notes:: torakowalski said she'd really like to see a realistic Virgin!John fic, and I got to thinking about it and couldn't stop. I tried my very best. This is for her.

On my webpage because it was too big for one post. Oops.

Lost in Waiting

Feedback makes me happy - multiple times. *G*

ETA: A huge thank you to everyone for reading and commenting. This is the most response I've ever had on a fic, and it's overwhelming in the best possible way. I usually respond to all comments, but I don't think I'll be able to this time, although I'll try to get to as many as possible. Thank you so much. ~Lacey

Comments

[girly-curl-3.livejournal.com]

Guh. So sweet and wonderful! Have friended you so I won't miss anything. :)

[skoosiepants.livejournal.com]

Seriously, this is just gorgeous, and I never would've thought the John-is-a-virgin thing could work outside of crackfic, but it really, really does. I loved every bit of this, especially the way you interwove his past, and Rodney's reactions and... just everything. So thank you.

[teand.livejournal.com]

I'm very, very impressed that you made a virginal John Shepard work so perfectly. Wow.

[jenniology.livejournal.com]

I love you. This was the first Rodney/John fanfic I've ever read, and damn... it was HOT. And beautiful.

Oh God!

[lishel_fracrium.livejournal.com]

This was perfet and sad so very sad but it was so realistic and God did it work! I love this I wan't sure it would or could work but you got it to. wow. *puts in memories* thank you.

[spikedluv]

“Let’s go home,” Rodney says with a gentle tug. John looks at the blue eyes, the lopsided grin, and realizes he’s already there.

Lovely story, and great last line. I like this take on John, though it makes me feel very sad for him. And I love how John realizes that he's always let Rodney get closer than anyone. *sigh*

[libra-traveller.livejournal.com]

This worked for me. I'm glad Rodney was that special person for him.

[libra-traveller.livejournal.com]

I wanted to add that my favorite lines in this story, were 'Are you ill, your hair looks flat', and the one about the professional, him meaning a prostitute. I enjoyed reading this, how it went from the flashbacks to their discussion.

[zooz.livejournal.com]

That was beautiful. Absolute and utterly beautiful. I loved every word.

[emeraldsword.livejournal.com]

This is so, so sad and so so good. I don't really have any constructive criticism (I really should be revising for my Finals) but it was very moving and I liked the way that Rodney handled it all as well, and also that he suggested Heightmeyer because sometimes people miss that out when they shouldn't. You wrote it well and subtly, good job.

[bakarti.livejournal.com]

My heart just ached for John in this. The thought of him so desperate for touch and yet fearing it at the same time kills me. That moment when Rodney figured it out and just hugged him brought tears to my eyes. And then he offered to go with John to see Heightmeyer! That moment made me love Rodney even more than I already did.

Some of the sections that are burned into my soul:

“I’m already lucky,” Rodney whispers. “I’ve been lucky since the day you sat in that chair in Antarctica, and the day you didn’t blow up in a hive ship, and I consider myself lucky every damn time you come back from a stupid suicide run or sit down across from me at dinner or try to teach me how to fly your precious puddlejumper even though I know it drives you crazy.”

by crush I mean love

Rodney’s been beaming “I’m right here” in neon lights almost since the day they met.

Wonderful, amazing story.

Wow

[krysalys.livejournal.com]

You.... you continually melt my brain with your exquisite writing.
This was just so... so...
*words fail*
I love this. I'm too overcome to figure out what else to say, other than - I love this. Utterly.
----}-@

[(Anonymous)]

Wow. That was just really... wow.

[duffy-99.livejournal.com]

OK, you're going to have to help me explain to my coworkers why I just suddenly burst into tears at my desk? Quiet tears, good tears, but tears nonetheless. It all started with this:

“I’m already lucky,” Rodney whispers. “I’ve been lucky since the day you sat in that chair in Antarctica, and the day you didn’t blow up in a hive ship, and I consider myself lucky every damn time you come back from a stupid suicide run or sit down across from me at dinner or try to teach me how to fly your precious puddlejumper even though I know it drives you crazy.”

This was just beautiful.

[polly-b.livejournal.com]

You rock. You totally rock. THIS is why I go 'Squee!!! Lacey McBain!!! Squee!!'

When I read a fic that has a lot of flashback scenes, a lot of times I will find myself skimming over the flashbacks to get back to the 'main story' faster. Not this time. Awesome story throughout and utterly authentic characterizations.

And your Rodney!

*squees again*

*copies into 'saved fics' file*

[aspacer.livejournal.com]

Fabulousness.

[moxie-brown.livejournal.com]

Really, I can just agree with the others: beautiful and painfully delicate but hopeful. Loved reading it!

[ozsaur.livejournal.com]

You made me believe Virgin!John. I pretty amazed by that alone. But your story is so beautiful and thoughtful. And I love how you wove John's past and their present situation together.

Oh, and I can't tell you how glad I am that you didn't use sexual abuse as a reason for John still being a virgin for so long.

[melagan.livejournal.com]

So. Very. Excellent. Thank you

[lonespark.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. God. This is probably one of my top three favorite SGA stories as of now. Gah.

Unlike many people here, I don't find it any stretch for John to be in this role, as it seems supported by what canon shows, but that doesn't mean I'm not stunned by how deep and true your telling is. The lies, the fucking loss and betrayal and frustrated, stunted love...there are many kinds of abuse.

Such an amazing balancing act with Rodney, showing how he can (and has to) focus, empathize, be gentle in a special way with John, but still be his awkward egotistical self. Throughout the story there's a breathtaking sense of fierce love between them, transcending any details of how it's expressed. And yes, they fight space vampires, but this is the most dangerous thing they'll ever face.

[lomedet.livejournal.com]

oh, but that was just lovely.

Rodney being so slow and patient and loving and yet still so much himself, and my heart broke over and over and over again for John...and now I'm a little weepy (in the good way).

thank you so much for sharing this with us!

[sobelle.livejournal.com]

Wow... very well done... it was a painful pleasure to read.

Saved to hard drive now!

[ruggerdavey.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that was just freaking awesome. A really in-depth, intriguing look at John and who he could be underneath all that impenatrable wall. And I thought you also did a wonderful job with his relationship with Rodney, and how Rodney would deal with getting close to John and figuring out all his issues.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[mecurtin.livejournal.com]

I pimped this on my LJ, saying:

"Lacey writes a John very very close indeed to how I see him in canon.

In addition to all the canon points she pulls in, this setup explains "what is it with you and Ascended women?" -- they're not very demanding sex partners.

There's something about John's whole "it's not a big deal, really" attitude that is *so* canonical, so much what I see onscreen, that it's hard for me not to think this story *is* canon, or at least a look into John psychosexual makeup (family background, attitude, etc.) indistinguishable from canon. It breaks my heart, and then Lacey puts it back together."

[springwoof.livejournal.com]

sad-yet-uplifting, cause John finds love, glowing at him in neon letters. Yes! good job! interesting use of prison-snugglies...