Safety is Job One, by celtiknot (Documentation)

[celtiknot.livejournal.com]

Safety Is Job One

McKay/Sheppard
PG 13, I suppose, for mild cursing and innuendo


From: Sgt. Arthur White [a.white@airforce.gov]
To: Dr. Elizabeth Weir [e.weir@atlantis.gov]
Date: Tues, June 17, 2006
Subject: Safety posters

Dr. Weir:

Attached please find the safety posters you requested in your most recent supply run.

Sgt. White
__________
From: Dr. Elizabeth Weir [e.weir@atlantis.gov]
To: Department Heads [j.sheppard@atlantis.gov, c.beckett@atlantis.gov, r.mck...]
Date: Wed, June 18, 2006
Subject: Safety posters

Attached are the safety posters I requisitioned from SGC. Now that we're seeing more new personnel around the city, I think they are particularly important. Please print them out and hang in a visible location where appropriate. Please be aware that the safety measures outlined apply to us all.

Dr. Weir
__________





From: Dr. Rodney McKay [r.mckay@atlantis.gov]
To: Dr. Elizabeth Weir [e.weir@atlantis.gov]
Date: Mon, June 23, 2006
Subject: Re: Safety posters

How many of these can I print out? Maybe we should put one in each cabin. Oh, did you get the one I suggested, "If You Don't Understand It, Don't Touch It"? And I didn't see my "Really, Really Dangerous - Don't Touch" sign - did you forget to attach it?

R.
__________
From: Dr. Elizabeth Weir [e.weir@atlantis.gov]
To: Dr. Rodney McKay [r.mckay@atlantis.gov]
Date: Mon, June 23, 2006
Subject: Re: Re: Safety posters

I think 4 will be sufficient.

I don't think one every cabin is necessary; everyone knows how important the search for ZPMs remains.

All of the posters I thought necessary were attached in the original email.

Dr. Weir
__________





From: Dr. Rodney McKay [r.mckay@atlantis.gov]
To: Lt. Col. John Sheppard [j.sheppard@atlantis.gov]
Date: Tues, June 24, 2006
Subject: Re: Safety posters

Christ, John, how did she find out?
__________
From: Lt. Col. John Sheppard [j.sheppard@atlantis.gov]
To: Dr. Rodney McKay [r.mckay@atlantis.gov]
Date: Tues, June 24, 2006
Subject: Re: Re: Safety posters

How the hell would I know? What makes you think she found out through me? Besides, she sent it to everybody; it's not like she singled us out.

J.
__________
From: Dr. Rodney McKay [r.mckay@atlantis.gov]
To: Lt. Col. John Sheppard [j.sheppard@atlantis.gov]
Date: Tues, June 24, 2006
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Safety posters

[[What makes you think she found out through me]] Oh, I don't know, because you can't keep your mouth shut???

[[it's not like she singled us out]] Oh, yes, that makes it SO much better, that all of the department heads get one. God, where do you even find a sign like that? Oh, wait, it's the US military, there's probably a whole series of them. No sex in a tank, no sex on an aircraft carrier, no sex in a pup tent...

R.
__________
From: Lt. Col. John Sheppard [j.sheppard@atlantis.gov]
To: Dr. Rodney McKay [r.mckay@atlantis.gov]
Date: Tues, June 24, 2006
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Safety posters

[[No sex in a tank, no sex on an aircraft carrier, no sex in a pup tent]] Done it, done it, ...
__________
From: Lt. Col. John Sheppard [j.sheppard@atlantis.gov]
To: Dr. Elizabeth Weir [e.weir@atlantis.gov]
Date: Wed, June 25, 2006
Subject: Mainland training

Elizabeth -

McKay's been looking a little peaky, so I've scheduled a team-building exercise overnight on the Mainland. It'll make a new man out of him.

We'll be back for the regular staff meeting on Friday morning.

Sheppard

Comments

[copracat]

It'll make a new man out of him.

Rofl! I should hope so. That was fun and funny.

[celtiknot.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And your icon is perfect for it!

[celtiknot.livejournal.com]

I'm working on getting the images to come up - I can't figure out what the problem is there.

[ltlj.livejournal.com]

It might be the < you used as quotes in the email -- you might want to try replacing them with * or something else.

(I loved the safety posters!)

[celtiknot.livejournal.com]

Yup, that's apparently what was confusing LJ.

And thanks!

[abbylee]

You can also use &lt; and &gt; to turn into < and >

[porntestpilot.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha. Well he needs to have to all the locations down or he's just not living up to his name, now is he? No, the other name.

[rokeon.livejournal.com]

I adore "Yes, this means you" and the one about developing scales. Exactly what they need.

[celtiknot.livejournal.com]

Well, exactly. I mean, knowing how to lift properly is nice, but what you really need on Atlantis is tips for when you start developing gills and cat-eyes.

[rokeon.livejournal.com]

...catfish retrovirus?

[skoosiepants.livejournal.com]

Hee! Loved it :)

[dizzycadence.livejournal.com]

I was giggling right from the get go, but as soon as I hit the puddlejumper sex graphic, I completely lost it. I'm howling over here.

Great stuff!

[celtiknot.livejournal.com]

Hey, the original poster (from the Dept. of Homeland Security, I think) had a big red arrow going from the first man to the one on all fours. Just in case, you know, you were unsure of the process). I'm glad you liked it!

[bibliokat.livejournal.com]

OMG, it's a real poster?!?! (I mean, except for the puddle jumper.)

[westdean.livejournal.com]

What? You are kidding right? A real poster - OMG.

I loved this so much.

[celtiknot.livejournal.com]

Nope, it's from the Dept. of Homeland Security. It's something boring like, oh, radiation safety, maybe.
It's just funnier if you imagine it as "Your Goverment's Guide to the Big Gay Sex".

[westdean.livejournal.com]

Oh Yes it works much better. Thanks for sharing this madness!

RE: original poster

[wordwitch.livejournal.com]

@.@
O

Um. Is it online? Can you give us a link to it?

[kellifer-fic.livejournal.com]

Hee!! Cute...

[lydiabell.livejournal.com]

OMG, ready.gov posters! I think I love you!

[celtiknot.livejournal.com]

Aren't they a hoot? Everyone had done such great entries up til now, I just oculdn't think of anything new, until these popped into my head.

[kajikia.livejournal.com]

Ha! I love the safety posters--hilarious.

[20thcenturyvole.livejournal.com]

Bwah hah hah! Oh, Atlantis needs signs like that...

[duskyfox.livejournal.com]

you mean John hasn't had sex in a pup tent yet?

[celtiknot.livejournal.com]

Well, honestly, he probably has. It was nearly a foxhole instead, but then I'm thinking, "well, they'd have to get to the mainland, then dig the foxhole, and it probably wouldn't be as romantic as all that."

[paranoidangel]

Those are excellent safety posters.

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

:snickersnickesnicker: :requisitions own safety posters:

[allhoneyboo.livejournal.com]

LMAO!! Love the posters.

[cereta.livejournal.com]

*snort*

Oh, God, I love this challenge.

[kodiak-bear.livejournal.com]

Having worked in quality control (I did my time in the Air Force), I can verify the stupidity of warning posters - you ought to see the ones we had in our chemical prep area LOL!

This was too funny, OMG, when I got to the scales one I died.

safety is job 1

[laceymcbain.livejournal.com]

*G* The signs are hilarious! Well done.

[ladyvyola.livejournal.com]

This just confirms what I've always thought -- there's nothing funnier than industrial/governmental warning signs. It's like the committees who design them purposely go out of their way to make them obscure and/or obscene.

I'd just love to get Teyla or Ronon's interpretation of some of them....

[celtiknot.livejournal.com]

Ronon might admire how calm everyone is in the posters - everyone is always walking sedately to the exit while flames erupt around them.

Visit Airtoons (http://www.airtoons.com/) - it's some of the ready.gov posters, plus some air safety posters with "improved" captions. They're hysterical.

[zellieh]

*snerfle* Oh, this made me laugh so much. The last two emails. *snort*

[celtiknot.livejournal.com]

And I'm sure John thinks he's being all "secret-agent man" and unfathomable, like Elizabeth couldn't possibly know exactly what he's up to.

[abbylee]

Those posters were awesome!!!

[affinity8.livejournal.com]

Very cute!! Thanks for the giggles.

[celtiknot.livejournal.com]

Thanks! They were a lot of fun to make. I looked at poster after poster thinking, hmmm, how can I make that smuttier?

[fourteenlines.livejournal.com]

*can't type, laughing too hard*

[theladyofshadow.livejournal.com]

This was hilarious! I had a huge fit of giggles as I read this.*smirks* Good job!

[bluebrocade.livejournal.com]

*giggle*

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

*dies* Too funny! I love the signs. :)

[nindulgence.livejournal.com]

*sporfle*

A very fun take on the challenge--thanks for posting!

~

[agentotter.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, how did you know about my obsession with safety signs? You are the awesomest. The hilarity is overwhelming to me. I want these on t-shirts, asap.

[celtiknot.livejournal.com]

You have an obsession with safety signs? Well, it's good to know the slash obsession is normal, anyway. Glad you liked them!

[linzi5.livejournal.com]

I just discovered this and wanted you to know how hystericaly funny and clever I think it is! I howled with laughter! So Shep's going to make a new man out of McKay? Tee hee! Thanks for this! (Still chuckling over here!)

[celtiknot.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it! It was a lot of fun to do.