[identity profile] refracting.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] sga_flashfic
Title: Mouse and Cookie
Author: [livejournal.com profile] tormalyne
Rating: PG
Summary: "Major, there are children in my laboratory."


“Major.”

John ducked Teyla’s swing and wished he had dodged the leg sweep instead when he found himself stretched flat out on his back with his new bruises clamoring to ask why he hadn’t taken up the Athosian version of chess instead.

Staring up at the ceiling, he rolled his eyes and tapped at his radio. “Yes, McKay?”

There was a short pause during which he heard something rather like a wailing klaxon set at defcon five and a crash through the static of the transceiver. John sat up, frowning, while Teyla moved to quickly gather her gear. The staff in McKay’s lab had learned the first day that loud noises and damaged equipment were only allowed during a life or death crisis.

“Major,” McKay’s voice said in his ear, strangely composed. He thought McKay was probably in shock since the only other time he had sounded so calm was when he’d been shot and bleeding into the rain on MXD-526. “There are children in my laboratory.”

“Children,” John repeated, glancing over at Teyla. She shrugged her special “Doctor McKay is not making sense again” shrug, or maybe it was her “I must remember that these are a strange people and bizarre manners are to be expected and regarded as odd behavior from animals in a zoo” shrug, and lowered her bag back to the ground.

“Yes, children,” McKay snapped. John let himself relax. “Or have you gone as deaf as everyone else in my lab? I can just tell I’m losing my hearing even as we speak. Do you know how much damage extended exposure to loud noise can cause?”

Someone shrieked into what had to be the transceiver in McKay’s ear and John lay down again, folding his arms behind his head while he waited for McKay to stop yelling at whoever was apparently about to cause the imminent meltdown of at least twenty naquadah generators, six of which he was quite sure Atlantis didn’t even have.

“As I was saying, Major.” Yes, there was that characteristic stress on his title that indicated exactly whose fault McKay considered this incident to be.

“Yeah, I heard you the first time, McKay. Children. Didn’t know you’d adopted.” John started counting the concentric circles in the design on the ceiling while he waited for McKay to stop sputtering and bitch out an answer.

“So get to it already.”

And yeah, there were times when John understood McKay, really got him, because there was only so much “prime, not prime” you could play with a man before you learned a little about how his brain worked. Then there were times like this, when he just didn’t get McKay at all. Maybe it had something to do with being only partially math geek while McKay was full on from the planet Tribble.

“Get to what, McKay?” he asked, pretending that he was a very, very patient man.

“Getting rid of them, of course.” In the background, several high pitched voices started up a chorus of “why why why why why.”

“Major,” Teyla interrupted evenly, “they are the children from Keras’s world who became so fond of Doctor McKay on our last visit.”

Give a few kids some chocolate and even McKay’s warm and fuzzy attitude couldn’t stop the terrors from clinging like burrs.

“Well, they seem to be having fun,” he said, grinning as another scream of joy indicated that McKay was fighting a losing battle. “I’ll just let them get reacquainted with their dear old Uncle Rodney. I’m sure a genius like you can manage to have them back to the stargate by bedtime.”

He left the radio switched on a moment longer just to hear McKay’s indignant squawk before tapping it off and climbing to his feet.

Teyla settled into her stance opposite him and smiled. Oh yeah, he was going to be hurting for days, but at least McKay was the one playing babysitter to the kids.
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Stargate Atlantis Flashfiction

April 2017

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