Cognizance, by kitsune_tsuki
Apr. 8th, 2006 11:29 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
kitsune-tsuki.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
sga_flashficTitle: Cognizance
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kitsune_tsuki
Characters: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG
Challenge: This Is Not Happening
Spoilers: None
Summary: Over a year into the expedition and he still finds himself asking 'This really can't be happening, can it?' for different reasons, and every one perfectly valid and completely logical.
Over a year into the expedition and he still finds himself asking 'This really can't be happening, can it?' for different reasons, and every one perfectly valid and completely logical.
Sometimes he asks that question, because my God, look at where he is. Another planet, in another solar system, in another galaxy. And also, this may possibly be the best part, the one that fills him with wonder and not a little reverence: Atlantis, Lost City of the Ancients.
He fell in love the moment he stepped through the stargate, set foot in the city, his city. She's everything Earth never was and a million things he never expected, death, danger and discovery all wrapped up in one glittering package that no one, least of all him, could refuse, and God, he loves her for it. Loves her for being there when they came looking, loves her for fighting every bit as much as they do, loves her for standing tall and proud when they can't, for being there.
Sometimes he asks that question when bullets are flying, arrows whizzing past his ear, with death fast on their heels trying to catch them in its grip, and he thinks 'Oh my God! This can't be happening!' because no, he'd never expected to die that way. And really, who would?
He didn't exactly fall in love with Pegasus the way he fell in love with Atlantis, didn't realize what she was at first, what she could be. She had to work for his love, had to make him see, make him realize what she had to offer. She had none of Atlantis' glamour and glitz, was nothing but harsh reality and razor sharp edges that cut too deeply and too easily, and it took time for him to realize that maybe that was why he will always love her. Pegasus demands nothing but the best, nothing but everything you have and more, because she knows you can, knows you're capable of it, and he loves her for that. Loves that she made him more than he was, more than he ever knew how to be.
Sometimes he asks that question because nothing until now has ever meant as much, has ever been as much to him as this. His city, his galaxy, and God, now this. He doesn't think 'This can't be happening, can it?', so much as 'How can this be happening?', because he has never had this before. Has never had something worth coming home to, something he was willing to die for, something he was just as willing, if not more so, to live for, and he never knew how much any of that could mean. How much it was worth.
He fell in love with Sheppard the same way he'd always fallen in love with the best things that came into his life. A little at a time, because God, this was one of those things he never expected, had to work for, fight for, and this thing between them will never be anything but easy. It's like Atlantis and Pegasus rolled into one, because Sheppard means that much, expects more and demands absolutely nothing, which is more terrifying than anything else he has ever known before. He still loves him, though, because Sheppard has none of Atlantis' glamour and glitz to blind him, and at least twice as many ways to cut and wound than Pegasus ever will, but, and this may possibly be the best part, the one that fills him with wonder and not a little reverence: Sheppard - John - loves him just as much.
Author:
kitsune_tsukiCharacters: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG
Challenge: This Is Not Happening
Spoilers: None
Summary: Over a year into the expedition and he still finds himself asking 'This really can't be happening, can it?' for different reasons, and every one perfectly valid and completely logical.
Over a year into the expedition and he still finds himself asking 'This really can't be happening, can it?' for different reasons, and every one perfectly valid and completely logical.
Sometimes he asks that question, because my God, look at where he is. Another planet, in another solar system, in another galaxy. And also, this may possibly be the best part, the one that fills him with wonder and not a little reverence: Atlantis, Lost City of the Ancients.
He fell in love the moment he stepped through the stargate, set foot in the city, his city. She's everything Earth never was and a million things he never expected, death, danger and discovery all wrapped up in one glittering package that no one, least of all him, could refuse, and God, he loves her for it. Loves her for being there when they came looking, loves her for fighting every bit as much as they do, loves her for standing tall and proud when they can't, for being there.
Sometimes he asks that question when bullets are flying, arrows whizzing past his ear, with death fast on their heels trying to catch them in its grip, and he thinks 'Oh my God! This can't be happening!' because no, he'd never expected to die that way. And really, who would?
He didn't exactly fall in love with Pegasus the way he fell in love with Atlantis, didn't realize what she was at first, what she could be. She had to work for his love, had to make him see, make him realize what she had to offer. She had none of Atlantis' glamour and glitz, was nothing but harsh reality and razor sharp edges that cut too deeply and too easily, and it took time for him to realize that maybe that was why he will always love her. Pegasus demands nothing but the best, nothing but everything you have and more, because she knows you can, knows you're capable of it, and he loves her for that. Loves that she made him more than he was, more than he ever knew how to be.
Sometimes he asks that question because nothing until now has ever meant as much, has ever been as much to him as this. His city, his galaxy, and God, now this. He doesn't think 'This can't be happening, can it?', so much as 'How can this be happening?', because he has never had this before. Has never had something worth coming home to, something he was willing to die for, something he was just as willing, if not more so, to live for, and he never knew how much any of that could mean. How much it was worth.
He fell in love with Sheppard the same way he'd always fallen in love with the best things that came into his life. A little at a time, because God, this was one of those things he never expected, had to work for, fight for, and this thing between them will never be anything but easy. It's like Atlantis and Pegasus rolled into one, because Sheppard means that much, expects more and demands absolutely nothing, which is more terrifying than anything else he has ever known before. He still loves him, though, because Sheppard has none of Atlantis' glamour and glitz to blind him, and at least twice as many ways to cut and wound than Pegasus ever will, but, and this may possibly be the best part, the one that fills him with wonder and not a little reverence: Sheppard - John - loves him just as much.
