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Date: 2007-05-27 01:41 am (UTC)
*Hugs* The hardest question for anyone, no matter what their station in life, is what could have been. For John, the answer's a doozy. But at the same time, while the John in the mirror is happy? He also carries a lot more guilt than one would guess at first glance. The John at Area 51, while bored and aimless -both anticipating and dreading his retirement- doesn't have the guilt of waking the Wraith, doesn't have the burden of having killed his own CO - even if it was a mercy killing. As he put it so succinctly in "Rising" "I have to live with that."

Each side has its goods and bads, and once John retires out he could well find something to dedicate himself to. It's just a really bad patch of his life right now.
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