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sga_flashficRating: R for darkness, death and cussing
Word Count: 2466
Summary: How John and Rodney do and don't cope.
Characters: McKay and Sheppard, with a little Carter, Woolsey, Keller and Ronon.
Spoilers: Heavy spoilers for the season 4 finale.
Author’s Notes: This is angsty and dark. and people i'm fond of die. so be aware of that.
on a more positive note, this is my first stargate fic, so please tell me how to make it better.
:D
Edited: because i can't seem to keep paragraphs where i want them. or work lj cuts. *embarrassed* but it's fixed now.
“Keller! I think my wound is getting infected! I need antibiotics! But not penicillin, I’m allergic. And maybe-”
“Shut up, Rodney,” Sheppard ordered from the next bed, “You’re fine.”
“I’m not fine! I have a very delicate immune system; I’m very susceptible to infection. And the whole building was disgustingly dirty. And rusty. When was my last tetanus shot? What if Pegasus rust is different?” McKay’s eye widened as he spoke, a clear sign he was only getting started on his freak out.
Sheppard didn’t notice. His left leg was propped up on pillows and encased in plaster. Below the short sleeve of his scrubs, his left arm was covered in bruises from protecting his face from falling debris. The scattered bruises on his face showed he wasn’t entirely successful. His eyes were closed, but he clearly wasn’t sleeping. He was tense and alert, looking prepared to crawl to the Gate if it meant he could do something.
“-Obviously a trap. I can’t believe we fell for it. Clearly your tendency to rush head first into things is impacting my judgment. I made a chart; we fall into significantly more traps per year than SG-1 did. Of course, Pegasus is more dangerous, and statistics isn’t a real science anyway. But-”
“Rodney! Just-” John opened his eyes and turned towards the approaching footsteps, “Doc? How are my men?”
Keller looked exhausted.
“Assorted minor injuries, just cuts and bruises. Major Lorne broke five bones in his right foot, but he’ll be fine. Sergeant Henderson’s left arm was shattered and he’s still in surgery, but he should recover most use of it. Lieutenant Garcia had several broken ribs and fairly severe internal bleeding, in addition to other broken bones. I operated on him, and he’s stable, but… We’re watching him closely.”
She took a deep breath. McKay opened his mouth, but she continued before he could say anything.
“Ronon has an epidural haematoma, a bleed in his brain. We drilled a burr hole in his skull, which should have relieved the pressure, but it hasn’t helped as much as I’d like. With the Ancient scanning equipment, we can see almost exactly what’s happening, but there’s still nothing we can do but wait. Dr. Van Densen, our neurosurgeon, and I have agreed on a timeline we’d like to see in terms of reducing the haematoma. If he falls behind that, we’ll have to operate further.”
Keller had shadows under her eyes and her normally perky posture was drooping, making her seem even younger and smaller than she was.
“Why not operate now?”
Sheppard’s face was blank, but his voice was so intensely calm Rodney jumped.
“There’s a significant risk of infection, and at this point that outweighs the risk of brain damage. If the blood keeps draining at the current rate, we won’t have to do anything else. It’s slow, but it’s not too slow, not yet.”
She looked at McKay, who was mumbling and jabbing forcefully at a tablet computer. He didn’t look up.
Sheppard nodded curtly.
“When will
Keller looked relieved the question wasn’t about Ronon, and she sounded more confident as she answered.
“It’ll be several more hours. Reassembling bones is slow going. But Dr. Morrison is one of the world’s leading researchers on adult osteology. Actually, he’s been working on using some of the ultra light alloys used to build Atlantis in joint replacement. Really amazing stuff, it makes titanium look like iron, in terms of relative strength to weight. James thinks…”
She trailed off, realizing neither man was listening. McKay was engrossed in his tablet and Sheppard was staring into the distance, his face blank.
She blushed, but squared her shoulders and continued.
“I need to get back. Colonel, I’ll let you know when you can see your men.”
His eyes focused. He looked slightly surprised that she was still there.
Keller nodded awkwardly and walked away.
Twenty minutes later.
“Rodney,” Sheppard said suddenly as he sat up.
McKay twitched and almost dropped his tablet. “I thought you were asleep! No one likes ninjas in real life, Sheppard.”
“What are you working on?”
“Oh, I was reading an article in this neurology journal. I hate biology; there are all these experimental treatments for haematomas, but none that can be consistently replicated. I’m also looking into modifying the Ancient scanner to be more accurate. I can’t believe that with all the injuries we’ve had no one’s done a more thorough report on it. But I suppose everyone can’t be a genius.” Rodney was trying to act normal, but he was quieter and his gestures were smaller than usual. The knuckles on the hand holding the tablet were white. He was even quieter as he continued, “She’s right. There’s nothing to do but wait.”
“No. Get me crutches. If we can’t help Ronon we’ll help Teyla.” In contrast, Sheppard was totally controlled and blank.
McKay nodded and tried to stand up, but his right leg wouldn’t support his weight. His calf was covered in bandages, and the foot below was swollen and purple. He looked around the infirmary, clearly frustrated.
“Push that IV stand over here.”
Sheppard complied wordlessly.
Rodney limped slowly towards the supply closet, clearly trying to look casual. He opened the door and slipped in, surprisingly agile. Two minutes and several crashes later, he emerged, awkwardly holding two crutches in his left hand and leaning on a cane with his right. He stopped trying to be inconspicuous and hurried towards John’s bed.
Sheppard took the crutches and stood up. His movements were smooth and fast, evidence of too much time spent injured. As one, they headed for the door.
Once they were safely out the door and around a corner, Rodney stopped.
“We’ve escaped, good job, but now what? We can’t exactly head off into battle like this, even if we knew where to go.”
“Is there a lab we can use? An empty one?”
“Uh. Yeah. On the west side of the city, part way up that tower with the giant sundial on top. We don’t use it because it’s the only lab near that transporter; the rest of the tower is living quarters.”
“Meet me there in an hour. Bring computers, paper, anything you need to work. I’ll get MRE’s and Powerbars. Probably want to change out of your scrubs too. We’re going to stop Michael. This was the last time he hurts one of my people.”
“As much as I support hiding in the lab, we need to talk to Sam first. I don’t think she’ll object and I don’t really care if she does, but all disappearing will do is piss her off, and I’d like to keep her happy with us as long as possible. Although, she is really sexy when she’s mad…”
“You talk to her then. I’ll see you there.” Sheppard turned and strode off, towards the military offices.
“Sheppard! Hey, Sheppard! John! What I am supposed to say to Sam, sorry, John’s not here right, leave a message and he’ll get back to you when he’s less crazy?! This is not what I meant by not making her mad!”
Sheppard turned the corner and was gone.
McKay sighed and rolled his eyes before starting towards the transporter at a much more sedate pace.
“Excuse me,” Carter asked to a passing nurse, “Do you know where Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay are?”
“They should be in the beds at the end. If they aren’t, then no, I don’t know. I’m sorry, I need to go.” She pulled a mask up over her mouth and nose as she hurried off.
Sam’s radio beeped.
“Yes?”
“It’s Rodney. I need to talk to you. Meet me at my lab.” The radio clicked off.
“Rodney? What’s going on? Why aren’t you in the infirmary? And where’s Colonel Sheppard?” Carter started asking questions before she was even all the way into the room. “What are you doing?”
McKay was leaning against his desk, to keep his weight off his right leg, and shoving stuff into a duffel bag. As she walked in, he looked critically at two notebooks before dropping them both in the bag.
“John and I have elected to spend our recuperation time away from the infirmary. I’m sure you understand. Call if you need anything. Actually, no, email if you need something, if it’s important we’ll respond. Radek can handle whatever comes up. I’m not going to let Teyla die because I was busy fixing the plumbing.” He continued packing haphazardly as he spoke. Abruptly, he zipped the bag closed and grabbed his cane.
When he was halfway to the door, Carter called out, “Rodney, wait. I’m taking a team of marines to the planet to surprise Michael. I’m going to bring a couple of engineers too, maybe there’s something salvageable in the wreckage.”
He turned and looked at her, his face uncharacteristically unreadable. “Good.”
The lab was impressive. It was roughly oval shaped, with one long side all windows. The other side was covered in the Ancient version of whiteboards. Rodney set his bag on the large round table in the middle and started unpacking. He sorted everything into piles in descending order of complexity: computers: laptops then tablets, a life signs detector, full notebooks, empty notebooks, papers, blank papers, pens. He looked at the row for a minute, and moved the pens to between the notebook stacks.
He walked around the room, looking out the windows and more closely at the whiteboards. One of them was hinged. He pulled and it swung open. The newly exposed room lit up, revealing two sets of bunks and an open door. Through the door was a basic but functional bathroom.
“Rodney?” John called from the lab.
“Hey, check this out, we can sleep here. Well, if the mattress is decent. Ancients had odd taste in beds. Why would you want a mattress as sharp and pokey as a bed of nails? Probably part of the Path to Ascension. No pain, no gain, they were into that kind of thing…Oh, these are nice, actually.”
“Rodney,” John sounded more urgent this time.
“What? What’s wrong?” McKay hobbled as quickly as he could.
Sheppard was pale and not focusing on anything.
“Ronon’s dead.”
“But…There’s only a 10% chance of death from epidural haematomas. It should be even less here.”
“He had a seizure while they were drilling another hole. I didn’t ask for details,” he paused to watch Rodney react. When Rodney finally raised his head and looked at him questioningly, he continued, “The Althosians will arrange the mourning ceremony. They know the Satedan traditions. We need to find Teyla. I… We can’t lose them both.”
Three days later.
“Hey, did you hear that? Look and see if there’s food outside again. I should have locked myself in my labs years ago. Check the math while I eat. I don’t make mistakes, but for Teyla… We have to be doubly sure.”
One week after that.
“It’s her due date, John. We’re supposed to be celebrating, everyone together. But we’re not, because I’m not fucking good enough.”
Rodney spent most of the day in bed, crying and sleeping. John spent all day sitting on the floor next to him, keeping watch.
Eight weeks after that.
“This is all useless. We’ve rewritten physics, and we’ll win a Nobel, but we can’t use it to find her. We have to try something else. What about a life signs detector big to sweep whole solar systems but sensitive enough to pick up degrees of Wraith. We have her DNA to calibrate it. Or maybe…”
One month after that.
“You had hair.”
“What?”
“In the future, you had hair. I lied.”
Two months after that.
When Rodney opened the door to collect the food for the day, Carter and Woolsey were there. The room was a mess. The table was covered with papers and computers. There were more laptops open on the floor. A small corner of the room was full of food debris: trays, plates, napkins and leftover food. The white boards were covered with frantic writing, some of it circled in red, some of it crossed out, one board with ‘NO NO NO’ in huge letters over the equations.
McKay and Sheppard didn’t look much better. They were mostly clean, but scruffy. Sheppard had a beard and hair down to his collar. McKay’s hairline had receded further, or maybe he just wasn’t hiding it. His hair looked like a grown out buzz cut and he had several days of growth on his chin.
Carter and Woolsey looked at each other. Woolsey stepped forward.
“The IOA has sent me to inform you that if you do not return to your proper jobs immediately you will lose your positions and ranks. In addition you will not have access to the restricted parts of Atlantis, including the Gate room and the Puddlejumpers. In recognition of your great contributions, we will allow you to stay in this lab if you so chose, and in Atlantis permanently once you leave the lab, whenever that may be.”
He sighed and relaxed, when he spoke again it didn’t sound like a committee statement.
“I’m sorry we couldn’t find her. And I was sad to hear about Ronon. But it’s been six months, and it doesn’t look like you’re on the verge of a miracle. It’s time to come back. Atlantis needs you, the city and the people.”
Carter stepped forward, “Zelenka and Lorne do well, but they aren’t you. Michael is plotting a direct assault, and we need all hands on deck.”
Sheppard just stood there, looking like he was listening a little, but mostly thinking about something else.
McKay had been fidgeting since they walked in. Finally he looked up.
“I’m sorry, John. I can’t, I have to… Jeannie. I’m sorry.”
John turned and walked to the white board and continued working on the equation.
Rodney walked out of the room, slouching with his head down. Carter and Woolsey followed him. Woolsey stopped at the door.
“John, if you need anything…..”
Sheppard kept working until the door shut behind them.
Then he threw a laptop across the room.
Three days later.
John erased all of the whiteboards. Starting at the top of the furthest left board, he wrote the names of everyone he didn’t save. Sometimes he didn’t know the names; they were just humans that happened to be in a hive ship he blew up. Or the men Ford led around the galaxy stealing enzyme. Or the people on the planet with the death by Wraith island. Or the Hoffans. The list took all day and all the whiteboards.
The next morning, John Sheppard stood on top of the tower and thought about flying.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-10 11:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-10 12:05 pm (UTC)when i started it, i didn't expect to end like this.
it just.. did.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-11 12:17 am (UTC)Wonderful story *nods* I'm sure the show will have a happier outcome (at least, I hope so lol) but it's fun to wander down the darker trails of "what if" from time to time.
Welcome to the fandom btw ^_^
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-11 01:44 am (UTC)Very sad story, but engaging. John and Rodney are desperate and focussed. Kind of a scary combination for them.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-11 02:08 am (UTC):)
thanks.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-11 02:11 am (UTC)thanks, i'm glad it was engaging, that's what i was going for. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-11 06:30 pm (UTC)