The Neglected, or, They're Where Your Socks Go After the Washing Machine Eats Them, by Frostfire

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Title: The Neglected
or
They're Where Your Socks Go After the Washing Machine Eats Them
Author: Frostfire
Category: Ficlet, humor
Pairing: implied Sheppard/McKay
Notes: This is my take on a well-beloved McKay/Sheppard plot device.

…meanwhile, while McKay and Sheppard are (choose one) a) forced into sex by hostile aliens; b) trapped somewhere where (i) they must share body heat to survive, or (ii) one must watch the other’s life slowly bleed away, helpless; c) fucking like bunnies of their own accord; or d) bantering wittily and with enormous sums of underlying UST…

 

“Hey, Teyla.”

“Yes, Lieutenant Ford?”

“You want mushrooms?”

“No mushrooms. The pineapple, however, would be welcome.”

“Okay, you get away with that only because you’re from another planet. So, pineapple and Canadian bacon on one half, mushrooms and sausage on the other, and two large Cokes. You got the DVD?”

“Mystery Science Theater 3000?”

“That’s it. We should get through at least half of it before we have to go save their asses. Or—wait. Are we saving or almost catching them in the act today?”

“I thought you knew.”

“Damn. We’ll just have to wing it. Okay, pizza should be here soon, hand me the movie. You’re going to love this…”

Comments

[ficklememeer.livejournal.com]

ROTFLMAO!!!!

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

yay, icon! *hums* ...in your mind you've already succumbed to me, dropped all defenses, completely succumbed to me...

[kyrdwyn.livejournal.com]

OMG! bwahahahaha! This is perfect!

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Every time I use that plot device (and I do, oh yes!) I cringe. So I needed to do something to redeem myself in the eyes of the fanfic gods. *Without* admitting that I can't write Ford or Teyla for beans...

[wickedwords.livejournal.com]

He-he-he. Oh, that's funny.

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you liked it! Yay pineapple icon!

[rosewildeirish.livejournal.com]

LOL! You are eval. *g*

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

*steeples fingers evally* I will make the whole world helpless with laughter, and then I will RULE!

...or something. ^_^

[porntestpilot.livejournal.com]

I'll take d for 500.

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Probably my choice as well. Although I have a hard time saying no to sex.

...that came out weird.

[minnow1212.livejournal.com]

Hee! I adore the title. Poor Ford and Teyla, being socks.

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

They vanish, I tell you! I think 90% of all the pens I've ever bought are there with them, hiding under the couch amid piles of socks and pizza boxes.

Glad you liked it!

[dzurlady.livejournal.com]

Hee!

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Always happy to make someone laugh! Thanks!

[fenris_wolf0]

Hee hee hee... And I'll go with d) too. :p

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Oh, the banter, the unendingly witty banter...it's sex with words, I tell you. ^_^

[morena-donn.livejournal.com]

Or—wait. Are we saving or almost catching them in the act today?”

This is just too funny! Loved it

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And it's so totally true. I've used it myself. Bye-bye, Ford and Teyla, return at a more convenient moment! At least this way, they get pizza and movies while they're gone. Glad you liked it!

[tafkarfanfic.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing*

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

*revives you, dusts you off, and sets you on your feet* Any the worse for wear? No? If you are, I can send Ford and Teyla off to give you emergency medical attention while John and Rodney have sex...

Glad you liked it!

[canadian-snoopy.livejournal.com]

Personally, I think it's the title that sells it because after reading it, I looked up again and snorted cola up the wrong pipe.

Kudos ;o)))

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

It came to me when I was laughing at myself about ordering pizza from the Pegasus galaxy. They've jumped dimensions. Or...something. Plus, my socks are always lost that way.

Glad you liked it!

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Heeeeeee...

Well, that sounds like a more pleasant way to spend the time than the scenarios most fanfic writers cook up. (I have lost track of the number of times Tela and Ford have been marched away at knife/spear/gun-point.)

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

If they have to miss out on the hot sweaty sex, they might as well get pizza for their troubles, don't you think? (Actually, the story arose because I've been feeling a bit bad, personally, about using this particular plot device, mostly because I can't write either of them for beans. Shh, don't tell.)

Glad you liked it!

[buddleia.livejournal.com]

Very funny! Now I'm picturing Ford and Teyla getting Teal'c and Sam's pizza order by mistake and yelling at the pizza delivery service because Sam always gets artichoke on hers.

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Oh man, that'd totally happen. Although I tend to mind less about Teal'c and Sam being booted out in fanfic because the show so often splits the team into pairs in canon (although often the wrong ones. grr).

Glad you liked it!

[dominik.livejournal.com]

Bwah!!!! I haven't laughed this hard in quite a while. Thankies :))))

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!

[tinny]

Ooooh, frostfic! *giggles madly*

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

*grins* I'm ba~ack...and there should be more than sillyfic soon. Hopefully. Provided work schedule allows. *crosses fingers*

[thecomfychair.livejournal.com]

heeeeee!

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Your icon makes me laugh.

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

:snicker: They probably have the camera set up for when they go in. And probably regard said time as rightfully theirs for what they have to put up with.

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Oh, you bet they do. I mean, all this sex and they don't get any. (I would have written them some, but oh, how I cannot write Ford or Teyla. *sniff* So they get this instead.)

Glad you liked it!

[scap3goat.livejournal.com]

OMG!!! ^^ Love it!

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Thanks! ^_^

[wildmachinery.livejournal.com]

“I thought you knew.”

“Damn. We’ll just have to wing it.

OMGLOVE. I may die from laughing.

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you liked it! Yay for sillies! *pets the sadly neglected Ford and Teyla* I'd write them something real if I could write either of them believably. Sadly, it is not possible.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_bettina_/]

*snort*

*g*

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it!

[kiarasayre.livejournal.com]

Absolutely *brilliant*.

However, knowing this fandom's writers, I'm going to have to say it's probably (a) or (b)ii. ;)

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Those two do appear a lot, don't they? And given the angst-level possible with both, Ford and Teyla are probably happy to stick with their pizza...

Glad you liked it!

[tigs.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's great!

*loves*

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you liked it!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_tanglewood_/]

That was great. So funny! Love the title :D

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And you're not alone--the title's been perhaps more popular than the story...

[teand.livejournal.com]

Are we saving or almost catching them in the act today? Hee! Good question.

Nice to see Ford and Teyla get some screen time!

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I always feel bad when I send them off to do mumblewhatever while I get John and Rodney together. This is sort of an apology to the characters (who I can't write for beans, so all they can have is sillyfic. Poor them.)

Glad you liked it!

[crystalheaven.livejournal.com]

*huggles Frostfire*

Oh, this is good. Really good. Like, you nearly owed me a new computer cause I choked on my drink rather than spit it out good. *coughs slightly*

The first paragragh, with all the choices? Geniuse. Purely wonderful.

And the fact that they didn't know whether to rescue them, or catch them in the act? *dies laughing*

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

*blush* Thanks! Glad you liked it!

*pats you on the back* I couldn't afford to get you a new computer...although I have an old keyboard sitting on the floor next to my bed, you can have that...