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sga_flashficTitle: Militant
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
crimsonclad
Rating: R
Pairings: Ronon/John
Challenge: Culture Clash/Amnesty
Word Count: ~540
Summary: Aliens didn’t make them do it right.
Disclaimer: Not mine, not a one.
Notes: I, yeah. I don’t know. But thanks tojoyfulseeker for giving it a once-over and an ending.
So yes, having irresistible alien aphrodisiacs hidden in your food was an abhorrent practice and a violation and John would be very sure to wear his gravest expression when he told Elizabeth about it, but at the moment all he could think was yes yes and hooray, and mostly, he was grateful. Because
-the last time it had been Lorne’s team, lucky bastard, and
-it was proof that people from Earth weren’t the only ones completely obsessed with sex, and
-he got Ronon.
Big, gorgeous Ronon, who was holding John down on the piles of furs and cushions, strong hands gripping his wrists and the broad expanse of his body pushing down against John’s, both of them shuddering with the effect of the drug, and their clothes were gone and everything was perfect, just like John had always imagined. Ronon pulled back and grinned, his teeth sharp and perfect, an expression that boded well for John’s evening, and then he rolled away, settling down on his stomach and pillowing his head on his forearms.
Uh.
John sat up. “What are you doing?”
“There’s oil in that bowl,” Ronon answered, spreading his thighs invitingly.
John scratched his head. “I. What?”
Ronon pushed up onto his elbows, and peered over his shoulder. “Did you get a smaller dose than me? Because if we don’t have sex soon—“
John waved his hand. “Yes, no, I’m very excited, but I was thinking you could fuck me, instead.”
Ronon frowned. “Are you kidding? I’m a lot bigger than you.”
“Well, okay, let’s not over-exaggerate here—“
“My body, Sheppard. I’m taller than you, I’m stronger than you—“
“—alien love potion aside, this is not the greatest pillow talk—“
“So you should do me. It’s only logical.”
John stared. “What are you talking about?”
Ronon growled in frustration. “If I fuck you, I could hurt you.”
John inhaled sharply, thinking about every…solid…inch… “yeah, okay—“
“—and you might have trouble walking in the morning—“
John clenched his hands in the downy fur. “—mm, right—“
“And that’s stupid.”
“Hey!”
Ronon rolled his eyes. “What if we have to fight? Or run? Shouldn’t take the risk.”
John stared. “This is some Satedan…warrior thing, isn’t it?”
“Pleasure is a worthwhile pursuit, but not at the expense of physical capabilities. It’s a rule for our military—don’t you have something like it in yours?”
“Yes, it’s called ‘never have sex with men ever’,” John said.
“That’s stupid. How are you supposed to find a woman when you’re—“
“Oh my god! It doesn’t make any sense but I’ve lived with it for this many years and now we’re hopped up on alien sex drugs and I’m finally allowed to get fucked and you won’t do it! This is the worst mission ever!”
Ronon flipped over onto his back, which was distracting, but not distracting enough. “Look, just get over it and fuck me. Easy.”
“No!”
“Well, I’ve never fucked another guy, and I’m not starting tonight.” Ronon’s face was set, and John just couldn’t believe any of it was happening.
So they both jerked each other off, glaring and furious. John hated this planet. Next time he was so choosing Rodney.
Author:
crimsoncladRating: R
Pairings: Ronon/John
Challenge: Culture Clash/Amnesty
Word Count: ~540
Summary: Aliens didn’t make them do it right.
Disclaimer: Not mine, not a one.
Notes: I, yeah. I don’t know. But thanks to
joyfulseeker for giving it a once-over and an ending.So yes, having irresistible alien aphrodisiacs hidden in your food was an abhorrent practice and a violation and John would be very sure to wear his gravest expression when he told Elizabeth about it, but at the moment all he could think was yes yes and hooray, and mostly, he was grateful. Because
-the last time it had been Lorne’s team, lucky bastard, and
-it was proof that people from Earth weren’t the only ones completely obsessed with sex, and
-he got Ronon.
Big, gorgeous Ronon, who was holding John down on the piles of furs and cushions, strong hands gripping his wrists and the broad expanse of his body pushing down against John’s, both of them shuddering with the effect of the drug, and their clothes were gone and everything was perfect, just like John had always imagined. Ronon pulled back and grinned, his teeth sharp and perfect, an expression that boded well for John’s evening, and then he rolled away, settling down on his stomach and pillowing his head on his forearms.
Uh.
John sat up. “What are you doing?”
“There’s oil in that bowl,” Ronon answered, spreading his thighs invitingly.
John scratched his head. “I. What?”
Ronon pushed up onto his elbows, and peered over his shoulder. “Did you get a smaller dose than me? Because if we don’t have sex soon—“
John waved his hand. “Yes, no, I’m very excited, but I was thinking you could fuck me, instead.”
Ronon frowned. “Are you kidding? I’m a lot bigger than you.”
“Well, okay, let’s not over-exaggerate here—“
“My body, Sheppard. I’m taller than you, I’m stronger than you—“
“—alien love potion aside, this is not the greatest pillow talk—“
“So you should do me. It’s only logical.”
John stared. “What are you talking about?”
Ronon growled in frustration. “If I fuck you, I could hurt you.”
John inhaled sharply, thinking about every…solid…inch… “yeah, okay—“
“—and you might have trouble walking in the morning—“
John clenched his hands in the downy fur. “—mm, right—“
“And that’s stupid.”
“Hey!”
Ronon rolled his eyes. “What if we have to fight? Or run? Shouldn’t take the risk.”
John stared. “This is some Satedan…warrior thing, isn’t it?”
“Pleasure is a worthwhile pursuit, but not at the expense of physical capabilities. It’s a rule for our military—don’t you have something like it in yours?”
“Yes, it’s called ‘never have sex with men ever’,” John said.
“That’s stupid. How are you supposed to find a woman when you’re—“
“Oh my god! It doesn’t make any sense but I’ve lived with it for this many years and now we’re hopped up on alien sex drugs and I’m finally allowed to get fucked and you won’t do it! This is the worst mission ever!”
Ronon flipped over onto his back, which was distracting, but not distracting enough. “Look, just get over it and fuck me. Easy.”
“No!”
“Well, I’ve never fucked another guy, and I’m not starting tonight.” Ronon’s face was set, and John just couldn’t believe any of it was happening.
So they both jerked each other off, glaring and furious. John hated this planet. Next time he was so choosing Rodney.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-31 05:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 11:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-31 05:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 11:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-31 05:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 11:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-31 05:59 pm (UTC):dies of laughter:
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 11:43 pm (UTC)Or lack of it? Something.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-31 06:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 11:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-31 06:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 11:49 pm (UTC)Thanks!
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-31 08:05 pm (UTC)*snorfle*
I'm dying here.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 11:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-31 08:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 11:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-31 08:53 pm (UTC)-it was proof that people from Earth weren’t the only ones completely obsessed with sex, and
-he got Ronon.
Amen, sister.
“Pleasure is a worthwhile pursuit, but not at the expense of physical capabilities. It’s a rule for our military—don’t you have something like it in yours?”
“Yes, it’s called ‘never have sex with men ever’,” John said.
LOLOLOL!!! I thoroughly enjoyed this, and join others in smacking John upside the head. Just fuck the guy, already! I'm sure hopped up on alien love drugs, there's going to be at least one more round!
::hint hint::
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 12:01 am (UTC)I guess the theme is that boys, from whatever galaxy, are STUPID. I mean, Foucault, blah, societally enforced sexual mores whatEVER. Boys are stupid.
Thanks for reading!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-31 11:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 12:03 am (UTC)Thanks!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 01:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 12:12 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 01:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 12:21 am (UTC)Okay, no one says that. But they should.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 01:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 12:32 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 02:11 am (UTC)My favorite part:
Ronon frowned. “Are you kidding? I’m a lot bigger than you.”
“Well, okay, let’s not over-exaggerate here—“
“My body, Sheppard. I’m taller than you, I’m stronger than you—“
“—alien love potion aside, this is not the greatest pillow talk—“
*Exactly* how that conversation would happen. Hee!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 12:34 am (UTC)You can drug him, you can take away his free will, but the snark will not be denied. Thanks!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 05:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 12:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 07:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 10:22 am (UTC)*points*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 08:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 09:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-03 03:37 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-03 07:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-03 12:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-03 08:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-10 11:50 pm (UTC)I love this so, so much.
You are officially my new hero. So totally.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-11 12:40 am (UTC)