Tension, by kuonji (NC-17) [This Is Not Happening challenge]

[kuonji14.livejournal.com]

Title: Tension
Author: kuonji
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Characters: Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, John Sheppard
Rating: NC-17
Challenge: This Is Not Happening challenge
Spoilers: none really, though it ought to take place after Runner, and procedurally speaking probably after Condemned
Summary: The knife was sharp in his mind's eye, and he didn't have any defenses. Even without it, Ronon was a goddamn mountain, and he could hold him down and force it just as easy as let him take it slow.

I blame this on lack of sleep.  And on dracostella.  Just because everything SGA traces back to her.

Tension
by kuonji
 

Rodney was in a sound sleep when the shaking began. At first he thought it was Atlantis preparing to blast apart and sink to the bottom of the ocean, and he had only twenty minutes in which to prevent the destruction... But then he woke fully and recognized that it was only himself being oscillated at unsafe frequencies and he decided that the hand doing it was about to be bitten off.

"What?" he snapped. "What, what?"

"Shh."

He blinked his eyes clear and saw the flash of moonlight across Ronon's corneas. "What's going on?" he asked, searching automatically for his pants and boots and pulling them on.

"Come with me." Rodney had only time to grab his shirt and vest before the grimacing Satedan hauled him bodily from the tent.

"Where's Sheppard?" Rodney thought to ask, hooking up his vest by touch over his hastily donned short-sleeved shirt. Sheppard was supposed to be on watch, he remembered. That was why he had been alone in the tent. They were on a mission, on another planet. Ronon shouldn't even have been awake.

Ronon didn't answer him, leading the way in catlike silence. Rodney didn't have a good sense of direction on the best of days, and two minutes out of a sound sleep made this one of his worst ones, but he figured they should be headed towards the mountains. A brief but brisk walk later, his idea was confirmed as he stopped short of a cave entrance to ask again, "What's happening?"

Again, Ronon didn't answer, only shot him a hard look and pushed him inside. "Hey, hey," he protested, feeling for his flashlight. He'd left it in the tent, though, and more importantly, Ronon hadn't led the way like he should. The big guy was the military protection here. Rodney was just the scientist.

"Take off your clothes," Ronon said from behind him.

Rodney whipped around to stare.

Ronon had stopped at the mouth of the cave, blocking the exit. His tall athletic body was perfectly silhouetted in the light of the full moon, and the outline of the knife in his right hand was unmistakable. Rodney couldn't make out his face. The lighting was exceptionally bright and Ronon was backlit, putting Rodney in a decidedly disadvantaged position.

"What?"

"You heard me." The knifehand gestured oh so subtly, but in a way that even Rodney could understand. I can hurt you.

"Are you deranged? Did you ingest something recently? Touch anything glowing, weird flora...?" Rodney was stalling for time. He'd left his radio in the tent. As well as his sidearm. He wondered with focussed concentration where Sheppard was.

"Take off your vest." The voice was steely now. Rodney could imagine the former Runner using it on the Wraith, perfectly self-possessed and unafraid. He swallowed hard, more nervous than he would have thought. He lifted his chin, making a decision.

"Or what?"

The next moment, his back was to the dry cavewall, an arm against his throat, legs in between his own, bracing him motionless. "Don't fight me, McKay. You won't win." It wasn't even a threat. Just a statement. His back tingled from the impact and his mouth was too dry now even to swallow.

The pressure eased -- slightly.

The knife glinted in the corner of Rodney's eye. I can hurt you. I will hurt you. Then his attacker backed off.

"What do you want?" Rodney massaged his throat, more out of reaction than actual pain. Ronon had been careful not to damage. Yet.

His reply was a quick flash of white teeth. Ronon could say things without words, and Rodney was being forced to pick up his language.

"Why?" he asked, because he needed words to talk with.

"Because I can."

Again, there was no threat in that statement. But Rodney's fumbling hands came up to his vest, reversing the clasping and strapping that he had done on the way here. When he was done, Ronon motioned for him to throw it over. He hesitated for a bare second, then threw it full on in Ronon's face.

Hard arms caught him as he tried to dive through the half-meter between Ronon's large frame and the edge of the cave entrance.

"Bad move," said the voice in Rodney's ear, and he shuddered, before he was hurled bodily back into the cave proper. "Your shirt. Now."

Still shaking, Rodney clutched at his shirt. It took him a few tries before he could pull it over his head, but Ronon didn't seem to mind the delay. He stood, an implacable shadow. Watching.

"Boots. Then pants." Rodney complied, silent. He dropped his uniform pants on top of his haphazard boots and stood, ridiculous and sweating despite the cool breeze, in his socks and boxers.

"Hmm..." The voice was rough, appraising. Interested. Rodney felt a zing of pride which he quashed. He was pretty sure what was coming next.

"Touch yourself."

He stared into where he thought Ronon's eyes should be, trying fruitlessly, illogically, to see Ronon's face in the non-light. He thought about arguing, about insisting that Ronon stop, get Beckett to check him out. He thought about asking where Sheppard was but put that out of his mind again immediately.

His hands hovered, hesitant. He couldn't do this, after all. It was too much--

"Think about Sheppard."

The words took him by surprise. "What?" This wasn't how-- Ronon wasn't-- "What are you talking about?"

"I've seen the way you look at him." The smirk in that tone was unmistakable. "Think about him, and you won't have any problems." Won't have any problems performing for me. Pleasuring me. Rodney felt himself flushing.

Because, God, it was working.

He lowered his eyes, even though he knew Ronon wouldn't do the same. He caressed himself through his underwear, gasping at the first hint of friction, then continuing in a sharper rhythm. Images of Sheppard, of his agile long fingers, his delicate throat, his firey eyes filled Rodney's mind. His brain skittered away from lazy, loving touches and kisses filled with honest longing. That wasn't appropriate here.

He stopped on this side of the edge. He wasn't sure if Ronon wanted him to come. He also wasn't sure what would be worse, to get himself off while his rapist watched, or to stay hard while his rapist still had him under his power.

The sound of something hitting the ground at his feet made him snap his eyes open, only then realizing he'd had them closed.

Ronon's face was still inscrutably shadowed, but the moonlight showed clearly what he'd thrown Rodney's way. Licking his lips, Rodney stooped to pick up the small tube. "What..." But the question was a stupid one, and Rodney was never stupid. He didn't finish the sentence. "Where...?" he asked instead.

"Against the wall. When you're done."

Rodney breathed in sharply, the image exploding into his mind. He hadn't thought that far yet.

"Ronon..." There was no answer. "I've never..." he tried.

Ronon chuckled, the sound inappropriately mirthful. "Don't lie, McKay. Sheppard's right. You're horrible at it."

"I'm not lying!" he protested, weak but indignant. He reminded himself to ream Ronon out later.

If there was a later, he told himself. The knife was sharp in his mind's eye, and he didn't have any defenses. Even without it, Ronon was a goddamn mountain, and he could hold him down and force it just as easy as let him take it slow. "I'm not..." he insisted again, even as he uncapped the tube obediently.

His boxers were in the way, and he froze again, not ready to bare himself, even though he'd been preparing for it in his head. "Please..." he said. Useless gibberish. His captor said nothing, and Rodney squeezed his eyes shut.

He was still hard.

"McKay..." The voice broke through Rodney's panic. He nodded, gulped and took hold of the waistband, pushed it down in one band-aid-removing motion. He kicked his boxers to the side and looked determinedly at his toes.

An eternity of embarrassed deep breaths later, and he was ready as he would ever be. He didn't even protest this time, just shuffled to the wall and put his hands against it. Like in the movies. Because he wouldn't know any better. This was his first time.

His hair prickled a half-second before warmth closed around his left wrist and his arm was suddenly needled with not-quite-pain, twisted behind him.

He felt the blunt end of he-didn't-want-to-think-about-it press into him. No words.

It was as big as he had imagined it. So much bigger than two fingers. Bigger even than... It rocked farther in and he was sure it would split him open.

"Don't do this..." he gasped, finding his voice. "This is, it's rape."

"I know what rape is, McKay," the rumbling voice said, and he reached around to take hold of Rodney's rigid cock. "This isn't." Rodney spluttered, ashamed and so turned on, uncharacteristically incoherent as the thing inside him drove deeper, owning him, taking everything he was.

It hit that spot inside him, and it was all Rodney could do not to moan. A hand, Ronon's free hand, the one not holding Rodney down to be fucked, came up to fondle his nipples. Teeth nibbled at the back of his neck. Hoarse groans accompanied his own.

"How often does he fuck you?" The sudden question startled and burned. It needed no exposition.

"He doesn't-- We're not..." His words were as much to remind himself as for Ronon. He was going out of his mind, whimpering with every exhalation. The burn in his throat was a counterpoint to the one in his shoulder.

"How much does he pay you?"

"God...!" He was shuddering, almost, almost...! He wasn't struggling anymore, except for completion, for that little piece of Nirvana that all men craved in even the best and the worst of situations.

"Does he know I'm having you for free?"

And that was it. He was coming, his whimpers turned into one continuous moan. He felt his knees giving way and the only thing that held him upright was Ronon still pounding into him from behind.

Ronon. His cock. In him.

And no one else had ever... Rodney was whimpering again, remembering to struggle, even though it was useless, useless, he was so weak in comparison, how could he possibly win against-- until the body behind him froze and Ronon grunted almost soundlessly -- and was still.

"Oh my God..." Rodney wasn't sure which of them had said it. His heartrate was still rapid and Ronon hadn't let him go. The fabric of Ronon's leather pants brushed at his buttocks with each of the heaved breaths behind him, and he shivered at the feeling and the sound both.

He couldn't believe... This couldn't have really...

"What's going on here?"

A bright light blinded Rodney, and he jerked, only to gasp when the movement put pressure on his arm. But he recognized John's voice, and he knew there was no way Ronon would get away with this now.

He searched his clouded mind for the words: "Sheppard... Help me."

The hand on his wrist tightened, and he quieted. Mortification tried to set in, but he shoved it down. He wanted Sheppard here, he told himself. He'd been waiting for it for the last half an hour or however long it'd been since this had started.

"Ronon."

"Sheppard."

"What the hell happened here?" The voice was superficially mild. Rodney's breath hitched at the tone. He'd heard this before, when teammates were threatened.

"Just getting McKay ready for you, sir." Rodney's breath stuttered.

"Ready for what?" Make it good.

"To fuck." Isn't it obvious?

Rodney whined, for once not because he couldn't understand the unvocalized conversation flashing between the military men, but because he could. Ronon's hand trailed down Rodney's flinching stomach, an eloquent persuasion without words.

"You want it, Sheppard." We all know. Already, Rodney could see Sheppard being swayed.

Lazy, loving touches. Honest kisses.

Sheppard was approaching now, his flashlight not wavering from Rodney's face. Rodney was blind. But Ronon and Sheppard could see. Everything.

Longing and soft caresses. Cherishing.

A familiar hand closed on his shoulder with unfamiliar cruelty.

"Back off." The voice was roughened. Lust. Jealousy? He suppressed a moan as the fullness inside him slid out. Rodney's arm was released, but he still couldn't move. The flashlight clicked off, but he still couldn't see, the spots of negative color filling up his vision as he panted, too far gone to be embarrassed anymore.

"God, you're so hot, Rodney."

The sound of the zipper was loud in the night.

"No... please," he said, more because it was expected of him than because it would have any effect.

"All slicked up for me..."

Love-making. Hard fucking. Hazel-green and "I love you."

It was nothing like Rodney had ever used to imagine, back seemingly a lifetime ago when he was innocent and inexperienced. It was rough and it was dirty and even as he felt the intrusion he couldn't believe it was actually happening. John was, the Colonel was, and Ronon was watching them--!

John was moaning, his hands tight around Rodney's waist, his face buried in Rodney's neck. He couldn't last long. Not as long as he would have if...

Had he been watching? Had he seen when Ronon-- Oh god... John hiccupped, almost, and strangled Rodney's name in his throat. He drove deep, almost painful, and Rodney felt him quiver with release -- too soon too soon, but oh so good -- followed by whining whimpers and the feathering of his hair against Rodney's shoulder as he pulled breaths in and out, in and out.

They slid with no grace whatsoever to the tarp-covered ground. (The mainland was supposed to be safe, but who knew what was in the dirt here?) When a hand started moving a wet cloth over Rodney's belly, he was only barely coherent enough to mumble a thanks.

He still couldn't believe it had happened. He couldn't believe they had agreed.

"Oh my fucking God...!" he heard, after a pleasingly long time had passed. "This is... this is it! From now on, all fantasy ideas go through Rodney McKay. King of Gay Porn, we are not worthy!"

Rodney rolled over to face his lover of four months and the only male lover he'd ever had aside from, very recently, one other. John was stabbing a finger up at the ceiling of the cave in triumph, adorably loopy in the euphoria of the afterglow.

"You were watching the beginning," Rodney accused, though he couldn't quite work up to being irritated about the gross diversion from plan. Sated and smug was the very best combination.

"After you described what was going to happen? Duh." John did not sound repentant. A soft noise made Rodney look sideways where Ronon was settling himself on the ground. His shit-eating grin said he'd known all along.

"That was fun," he said. His tone was classically monotone, detached. But his face said otherwise. He reached out to pat Rodney's shoulder, but John batted him away fussily.

"Hey, hey, hands off now. That was a one-time thing, okay? Get your own geek."

Some bickering ensued, but Rodney tuned it out, rapid images flashing through his mind like a whirling galaxy, beautiful. It would be so beautiful.

Get your own geek. Get your own geek. Getyourowngeek...

"Hey," he cut in, and like the well-trained military grunts they were, they stopped to listen to the smart one. "What do you two think of Zelenka?"
 

The End?
 

A/N: I thought I should put the disclaimer here that the '?' at the end there does not indicate any plans to write a sequel; it is there purely for literary flair.  The further adventures of Rodney/John/Ronon/? are best left to those stronger of heart and talent than I.



 

---

If you enjoyed this story, you might try these: 
     Slavish Fantasies (Stargate Atlantis), by kuonji 
     Figure-Ground (Stargate Atlantis), by kuonji
     ! (Stargate Atlantis), by Rageprufrock
     John Sheppard, Helpless Plaything (Stargate Atlantis), by Torch

 

Comments

[alie]

Oh god. I was holding my breath the whole time, thinking jesus CHRIST, is Ronon actually raping Rodney!?

And then John came, and I was still tense, still waiting, trying to figure it out ... and then oh. Oh. OKAY. I get it! Yay!

Wow. Very tense, very abrupt, very chills-down-spine.

And now I am happy in the pants. Thanks for providing a general inspiration for my own fic, as well; for some reason reading really well-written porn just makes me want to write more. So thank you.

[kuonji14.livejournal.com]

Wow, exactly the reaction I was hoping for! Good to know it worked. *eg Thanks for writing! (And always happy to inspire others, as others have inspired me.)

[miso-no-tsuki.livejournal.com]

*guh* *guh* pause whist scraping drool from keyb-tfdysui-oard! Speechless here. Brilliant piece of work!

[kuonji14.livejournal.com]

*hands you a handkerchief with Rodney/Ronon/John embroidered in the center

thanks!

[tarlanx]

Sick person that I am... I was hoping it was what it seemed to be rather than one of Rodney's fantasies acted out!! Nice tension throughout - no pun intended!

[kuonji14.livejournal.com]

well, I can understand that, since I do like non-con stories myself. But then it would have to have been written differently with all sorts of explanations and resolutions... I just wanted to do something fun and twisty.

Also, I had the irresistable image in my head of Rodney cracking his metaphorical whip at John and saying, "Hey, so you're going to rape me somewhere foreboding (but hygienic) and we're taking Ronon along too. Shut up, get moving, and I'll tell you the premise on the way."

[dracostella.livejournal.com]

Blame porn on me all you like. I'm easy like that. ^___^

More porn, now, please.

[kuonji14.livejournal.com]

oh good, always pleased to have a scapegoat... *Points It was all her fault my life was ruined by porn.

Runs away before draco (or any more ideas) attack me.

[amalthia]

this was hot and while I'm glad things turned out okay. :) I think I was slightly dissapointed it really wasn't what it seemed but that's because I love non-con fics way more than I probably should. :) anyway I was hooked from beginning to end and I loved this story.

[kuonji14.livejournal.com]

Actually, I really like non-con fics too, but only if there's a resolution and preferably comfort for the hurt. That would've been too big and complicated a story for lil ol' me. I just wanted to make people go, wth?! ;)

Thanks for the lovely comment!

[amalthia]

it's hard having a good hurt/comfort fic if you don't have time to write the story the way it should be. Some authors get around writing super long fics but just writing the hurting part of the story and kind of skip the entire recovery process...in some cases it works in most others it doesn't, and most people are like WTF. :) so I get why you took this route with the story. :)

[lishel_fracrium.livejournal.com]

oh my fucking god! I thought..you..wow. that was hot. but I was scared the whole time. *breathes a sigh of relief* you are soo evil. lol loved this!

[kuonji14.livejournal.com]

*checks evil meter

Why, you're right, I am. I'll take that as a compliment. *eg

[lishel_fracrium.livejournal.com]

it was meant as one. *bg*

[dossier.livejournal.com]

that was actually pretty scary-I was holding my breath right until the end. way to go!

[kuonji14.livejournal.com]

great! thanks!

[wickedwords.livejournal.com]

I have a thing for non-con that's not really non-con, so, uh, yeah. This one was really hot for me.

[kuonji14.livejournal.com]

obviously, so do I, so... Happy to oblige. :)

[mangst.livejournal.com]

Once I figured out what was really going on, this became oh so hot. Rodney king of gay porn indeed. :)

[kuonji14.livejournal.com]

yay! glad you liked it! ha, so at what point did you figure it out? I'm always curious about that. :D

[mangst.livejournal.com]

When Sheppard joined in instead of shooting Ronon. Up to that point I thought it could have been an AU where Ronon wasn't as honorable as he is in canon. But when Sheppard went dark side too I caught the clue bus. It was that and the line about Rodney saying "no, please" because it was "expected". It was the combination of those two things.

[kuonji14.livejournal.com]

ohh, interesting! Thanks for the reply! I sprinkled clues here and there, Rodney's flashes of memory of John, and Ronon encouraging him along when he started to fall out of it, and of course the super-expositional lines like "They were on a mission, on another planet." But I always wonder if/when people notice. ;D

[earyn-black.livejournal.com]

This is brilliant! I'm afraid to say that it was pretty clear the entire time what was going on to me, but it was still really good, and there was always the teasing idea that maybe it was what it looked like - and guh, I really really want to write that now! In fact, by the end of this I have something like four really hot porny ideas going on. I'd really love your permission to write them based off your idea? (I'm not sure where to start - re-write this so Ronon really sort-of raping Rodney, doing the "get your own geek" one, Rodney-the-virgin... ooooo *does kid in chocolate-shop eyes*)

I read back through to try and work out when I figured it out and how I knew (because your comments said you were wondering), but it's harder in retrospect. Things like Ronon being instinctive-y and impatient when he hauled Rodney out of the tent - but was patient enough to wait for him to dress. Or ""Where's Sheppard?" Rodney thought to ask" - which knowing this is all a scene, does sound scene-y, rather than a real instinct. But I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn't have known just from those bits, they would have been more like back-up evidence and things I only realised when I re-read it.

But it was this bit "He swallowed hard, more nervous than he would have thought. He lifted his chin, making a decision." The bit from the entry to the cave to here is ambiguous, like there are hints of something strange (would Rodney really have gone to "eaten anything strange" if it was real? That's not me saying your writing is OOC, yours is great, it's more that Rodney's too calm because he's acting and can't get his own character right!) but things like "Ronon hadn't led the way like he should. The big guy was the military protection here. Rodney was just the scientist." is really fantastic, it makes it sound more like a real rape scene, but at the same time it's really hot because in two lines Rodney is clearly delineated as weaker and Ronon stronger (ooooo, another idea....)

But that line was it for me. Rodney would have been afraid, not nervous, and the rest of the sentence, when you read it knowing it's consensual, is completely different. And then you keep reading "couldn't do this after all", or ""Think about Sheppard."/The words took him by surprise. "What?" This wasn't how-- Ronon wasn't--" This wasn't how what? How this was planned? Supposed to go?

There's so much more I could comment on - like the line "Won't have any problems performing for me. Pleasuring me. Rodney felt himself flushing." which is shockingly erotic but quite consensual. Rodney anticipating Ronon's wants or actions, or planning on "reaming him out" later (and I so want to write that as well!).

Rodney not being ready to take his boxers off though he'd been preparing for it was a pretty good hint as well. But it's more than that - the whole bit is really brilliant in an entirely different way than the rest of the scene, it's all nervous first time - I was half convinced Rodney was a virgin! And Ronon pulling Rodney out of his panic - yeah, he's a rapist alright!

I have to go now, and start writing lots of pretty things (and some nasty, nasty things as well) but this story? Fantastically written. I absolutely love it. And I'm definitely writing more if you'll let me!

Alania x

[kuonji14.livejournal.com]

Wow! Thanks so much for the enthusiastic, detailed, thoughtful comment! And I can't believe you read the comments as well, double wow! I wish I had seen this sooner; you totally made my week! :D

I find it quite interesting that you knew what was going on immediately. It's obvious to me, of course, because I know what's going on, but many people seemed surprised. :)

Re: how you knew
I love how you dissected your own thoughts about it. That's enormously interesting to me. I really can't thank you enough for that. Do you do betas? Sounds like you'd be a great one.

As for the difficulty in pinning down where exactly you clued in, that must have been my stupendously masterful subtlety at work, HA! But seriously, it may have been partly subliminal. I wrote it very carefully from Rodney's pov. So there's extra exposition when he's recalling the 'scene', and inward ranting when things don't go the way he planned, and of course his memories/feelings surprising him and getting in the way and distracting him.

re-write this so Ronon really sort-of raping Rodney, doing the "get your own geek" one, Rodney-the-virgin...

All of these sound good. I would be honored and completely on board with reading a sequel/remix! Please do and let me know! ;)

Thanks again!

[earyn-black.livejournal.com]

Ooh,thank you! I'm definitely going to write some of these! I'm not sure which one yet, although I think the remix might be first, simply because it should be the easiest since I have your framework - but then again it could also be harder for the same reason!

I'm glad you appreciated the comment, I spent almost an hour writing and re-writing it! I kept wanting to write more, then worrying that I'd written too much, then wondering if I was writing enough to get my message across...

I tried to beta for a writer once, but I kind of gave up. The writer was happy to have a spell-checker, but they didn't want any of the other comments and criticisms, which is just really frustrating for me. But I'd definitely try again!

I wrote it very carefully from Rodney's pov. So there's extra exposition when he's recalling the 'scene', and inward ranting when things don't go the way he planned, and of course his memories/feelings surprising him and getting in the way and distracting him.

That's it exactly! You did this so, so well, and it really did come across! And since Rodney knows that this is consensual, there are times when, although he's imagining it's not, the "scene" still comes across sub-consciously. It's actually really brilliantly done, most of the time people who write in the first person in scenes like this either make it clear the whole way through that it's a scene, or the "victim" is in a complete victim mind-frame, which reads well but isn't really realistic. This makes it realistic, but at the same time there's the dangerous edge of uncertainty, where you don't know if it's really real or not. Not that I don't like reading either of the other two options (Xanthe, for instance, has a really spectacular non-con scene in her X-Files mega-fic 24/7. It's just one scene, where Fox is a prisoner and Walter is the guard, but although Fox is outwardly acting the scared prisoner, inside he's thinking about it analytically, like how frightened he would be and how hot Walter is in his uniform and so on. It's a really good scene, but there's no way you'd be confused about it. Then again, it's part of a hefty consensual relationship, so you wouldn't be confused anyway... It's here if you want to read it http://www.xanthe.org/xf/bdsm/247/24726b.htm it's about half-way down the page - search "prison" it comes up on about the 4th word. But the whole thing is really really good if you like that fandom).

Urg, sorry, helpless plugging. Don't worry, I'll do it for this one at some point or another!

Right, I have things to do, then I am so definitely sitting down to do this one! I'll email you the first draft or so so you can tell me what you think :)

Alania x

PS: The fic recs at the end? You're an evil, evil person. I just couldn't help but reading more, then finding more and reading more and more...

PPS: "oscillated at unsafe frequencies". I just kept lol-ing and squeeing at that. It's just such a Rodney-line!

[kuonji14.livejournal.com]

Whee! Thanks for more detailed comments. You rock! This made me squee: This makes it realistic, but at the same time there's the dangerous edge of uncertainty, where you don't know if it's really real or not.

I tried to beta for a writer once, but I kind of gave up. The writer was happy to have a spell-checker, but they didn't want any of the other comments and criticisms

I have had the exact opposite experience! Twice, I asked very specifically for a beta-reader who would not give me a spelling/grammar-check but rather comments/questions. I have some eccentricities (all deliberate) when I write fiction (unusual wording, playing with grammar, not-quite-correct use of a word, etc.), and I didn't want people to waste time just pointing those out. I got a few enthusiastic people who were really nice, but somehow they wound up giving me spell-checks in the end. That was very frustrating for me, so I just stopped asking for betas.


The fic recs at the end? You're an evil, evil person.

*cackle* It's my dream to produce a sort of six degrees of fic across the fanfic world. But no other writers have taken up the recs idea, and I got lazy about asking... oops. At least my own recs are doing some 'good' for you. ;P May you have many sleepless fic-reading nights!