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sga_flashficTitle: Vampires, huh
Author: Redtoes AKA![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hjpatience
Universe: SGA
Season: 2
Challenge: This is not happening challenge
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine and making no money.
Summary: Rodney tried to pinpoint when exactly it was in his life that he could say, “Vampires, huh,” and not have it sound ridiculous.
Rodney tried to pinpoint when exactly it was in his life that he could say, “Vampires, huh,” and not have it sound ridiculous.
God knows the SGC had been fighting a secret war for almost a decade before he’d volunteered for this trip but Samantha Carter - for all of her “decidedly not interested” attitude and the brain he could have fallen in love with even if it hadn’t come wrapped in that body – had certainly never mentioned anything that suggested a position on a ‘gate team should come with a “danger the likes of which you’ve only ever seen in pulp sci-fi novels” warning.
But that was getting off the point.
The point being, really, the points of the bloodstained canines currently descending towards his neck.
Rodney squirmed, pulled, wriggled and twisted and still could not get loose of the creature’s arms. In fact, all of his attempts at movement/escape seemed only to have amused the thing.
He had time to think, panicked, this isn’t happening, before the harsh sound of automated weaponry ripped through the air, and suddenly there wasn’t anything holding him up, least of all the Pegasus version of Count Dracula.
“Doctor McKay, are you alright?”
Teyla stood over him, her eyes alternating between scanning the clearing and glancing at Rodney. “We must make haste,” she continued, “Can you move?”
Rodney stared at her. Inside his head the smiling mouth and bloodied teeth were still mere mili-seconds from his neck. But he was saved.
Again.
At the last possible moment.
For a second he wondered if there was some sort of upper limit on the amount of times one could come so close the death and then sneak away without a scratch. He wondered if Death regarded him as some kind of entertainment - Just-In-The-Nick-Of-Time - Almost-But-Not-Quite – Maybe-Next-Time. No worries on that front, Death caught up with everyone eventually, but then Rodney couldn’t help but wonder if his perverse habit of being rescued just in the nick of time might be pissing off some death deity or another, therefore securing him eternity in the Pegasus version of Hell. Maybe there was some version of a Hail Mary he could adapt in preparation–
“Doctor McKay!”
Teyla was looking mildly agitated now, which for her was worrying.
“I’m here,” Rodney stumbled to his feet, “I’m here.”
He managed the three steps to pick up the 9mm from where the vamp… that thing had tossed it. Bearing in mind the advice from the horror movies of his teenage years he kept a solid distance from the body. He checked the magazine on the weapon, then slowly, carefully took aim.
And shot it in the head.
Teyla’s raised eyebrow was entirely unsurprising when he turned again to face her.
He shrugged. “Never check to see if the monster is dead.”
Then, retrieving and shouldering his pack, “Where’s Sheppard?”
“Colonel Sheppard is waiting for us in the village. Ronon is attempting to persuade him of the foolishness of consuming the local wildlife.” Off of his look, she added, “Mostly insects.”
Rodney snorted at the predictability. His intellect was to be sacrificed for a bedtime snack whilst Sheppard’s pretty-boy looks secured him a place as faithful servant (he felt perfectly justified at ignoring the part of his mind that reminded him John may well have brains to go with the brawn by the thought that Death probably saw Sheppard as equal if not more of a Just-Out-Of-Reach tease. If they were dammed they were going together and at least then he’d have someone to talk to.)
“You know,” he said to Teyla as they began the trek back to the village to pick up the rest of their team, “one of these days we’re going to find a planet where I don’t get to re-live the science fiction television shows of my childhood in real time. And that planet will have a ZedPM, and a coffee plantation, and absolutely, positively no life sucking vampires of any kind!”
“Indeed,” Teyla answered, the amused tone in her voice a tell tale sign that even if she hadn’t caught the exact meaning she knew what he was getting at.
“Come on,” McKay sighed, “Let’s go.”
He cast a glance at Teyla as they walked.
“Was he really eating bugs?”
Teyla smiled in that way that reminded him one could not always be aloof and serene and that it was wise to have blackmail material on one’s teammates.
“Oh, yes.”
End.
Author: Redtoes AKA
hjpatienceUniverse: SGA
Season: 2
Challenge: This is not happening challenge
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine and making no money.
Summary: Rodney tried to pinpoint when exactly it was in his life that he could say, “Vampires, huh,” and not have it sound ridiculous.
Rodney tried to pinpoint when exactly it was in his life that he could say, “Vampires, huh,” and not have it sound ridiculous.
God knows the SGC had been fighting a secret war for almost a decade before he’d volunteered for this trip but Samantha Carter - for all of her “decidedly not interested” attitude and the brain he could have fallen in love with even if it hadn’t come wrapped in that body – had certainly never mentioned anything that suggested a position on a ‘gate team should come with a “danger the likes of which you’ve only ever seen in pulp sci-fi novels” warning.
But that was getting off the point.
The point being, really, the points of the bloodstained canines currently descending towards his neck.
Rodney squirmed, pulled, wriggled and twisted and still could not get loose of the creature’s arms. In fact, all of his attempts at movement/escape seemed only to have amused the thing.
He had time to think, panicked, this isn’t happening, before the harsh sound of automated weaponry ripped through the air, and suddenly there wasn’t anything holding him up, least of all the Pegasus version of Count Dracula.
“Doctor McKay, are you alright?”
Teyla stood over him, her eyes alternating between scanning the clearing and glancing at Rodney. “We must make haste,” she continued, “Can you move?”
Rodney stared at her. Inside his head the smiling mouth and bloodied teeth were still mere mili-seconds from his neck. But he was saved.
Again.
At the last possible moment.
For a second he wondered if there was some sort of upper limit on the amount of times one could come so close the death and then sneak away without a scratch. He wondered if Death regarded him as some kind of entertainment - Just-In-The-Nick-Of-Time - Almost-But-Not-Quite – Maybe-Next-Time. No worries on that front, Death caught up with everyone eventually, but then Rodney couldn’t help but wonder if his perverse habit of being rescued just in the nick of time might be pissing off some death deity or another, therefore securing him eternity in the Pegasus version of Hell. Maybe there was some version of a Hail Mary he could adapt in preparation–
“Doctor McKay!”
Teyla was looking mildly agitated now, which for her was worrying.
“I’m here,” Rodney stumbled to his feet, “I’m here.”
He managed the three steps to pick up the 9mm from where the vamp… that thing had tossed it. Bearing in mind the advice from the horror movies of his teenage years he kept a solid distance from the body. He checked the magazine on the weapon, then slowly, carefully took aim.
And shot it in the head.
Teyla’s raised eyebrow was entirely unsurprising when he turned again to face her.
He shrugged. “Never check to see if the monster is dead.”
Then, retrieving and shouldering his pack, “Where’s Sheppard?”
“Colonel Sheppard is waiting for us in the village. Ronon is attempting to persuade him of the foolishness of consuming the local wildlife.” Off of his look, she added, “Mostly insects.”
Rodney snorted at the predictability. His intellect was to be sacrificed for a bedtime snack whilst Sheppard’s pretty-boy looks secured him a place as faithful servant (he felt perfectly justified at ignoring the part of his mind that reminded him John may well have brains to go with the brawn by the thought that Death probably saw Sheppard as equal if not more of a Just-Out-Of-Reach tease. If they were dammed they were going together and at least then he’d have someone to talk to.)
“You know,” he said to Teyla as they began the trek back to the village to pick up the rest of their team, “one of these days we’re going to find a planet where I don’t get to re-live the science fiction television shows of my childhood in real time. And that planet will have a ZedPM, and a coffee plantation, and absolutely, positively no life sucking vampires of any kind!”
“Indeed,” Teyla answered, the amused tone in her voice a tell tale sign that even if she hadn’t caught the exact meaning she knew what he was getting at.
“Come on,” McKay sighed, “Let’s go.”
He cast a glance at Teyla as they walked.
“Was he really eating bugs?”
Teyla smiled in that way that reminded him one could not always be aloof and serene and that it was wise to have blackmail material on one’s teammates.
“Oh, yes.”
End.