![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
spike21.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
sga_flashficTitle: A Certain Native Ability
Author: The Spike
Pairing: Ronon/Teyla, implied John/Rodney
Rating: S for Silly
Spoilers: only for every fanfic ever written
Betas: all hiding!!!
Summary: Ronon and Teyla do their part. While running.
*
Things, as they did, went spectacularly wrong.
Sheppard and McKay ended up tied up, unconscious, wounded, drugged and trapped behind both enemy lines and a big rock.
“Hunh,” said Ronon as he and Teyla loped through the jungle toward the Gate on their way to get a back-up team, a jumper, an elastic band, two avocados and a bowling ball.
“What is it, Ronon?” Teyla said. They were making excellent time and she wasn’t even breathing hard. Ronon liked that in a teammate.
“This happens a lot, doesn’t it?” Ronon said. “You and me managing to get away while McKay and Sheppard get caught. You and me going for back-up and coming back to rescue them.”
“I believe the correct usage is ‘you and I’,” Teyla said thoughtfully. “And you are right. This does happen a lot.”
“So is it that we’re that good?” Ronon asked. He’d turned around to face her, and was running backwards now, neatly missing tree roots and gopher holes and not slowing their pace one whit. “Or do they just suck that much?”
Teyla considered this. She picked a few random fruits of different sizes as they ran and juggled them meditatively, briefly pausing to shoot a deadly iratus flying squirrel, and ending her routine with a running, spinning, five-fruit catch before she spoke again.
“I believe,” she said, "it’s because Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay feel they need ever more elaborate rationalizations to engage in sex.”
Ronon raised an eyebrow. Teyla saw his eyebrow and raised two of her own. Ronon knew when he was beat and folded his hand.
“I did not know you played face poker,” Teyla said, collecting her winnings.
Ronon grinned.
“I bet that’s what McKay and Sheppard are playing right now!”
“You have been spending too much time with Jinto and Wex,” Teyla said, dryly, although Ronon could tell she was snorting on the inside.
“They get me,” he shrugged, unapologetically.
The Gate was now visible in the distance across a mile wide expanse of coverless plain. Lined up on either side were hundreds of spear shaking, rock wielding, blow-gun brandishing native accountants. Behind them were the secret phalanxes of laser carrying, grenade launching, Wraith worshipping native telephone sanitizers. Above them hovered several Wraith hive ships and a Genii flying carriage.
“So,” Ronon said. “Want to have sex?” He watched Teyla consider their situation. Odds of perhaps a thousand to two. The combined ordinance of three planets against his knives and blaster and her sticks and rifle. The lives of thier teammates hanging in the balance.
A complete rout seemed the surest outcome.
“After the rescue?” she queried.
“Why wait?” Ronon shrugged. It wasn’t like they couldn’t do it, run and shoot at the same time – everyone in the Pegasus galaxy learned that skill by the time they were 18 or there wouldn’t *be* anyone in the Pegasus galaxy.
Hey, maybe if he could teach that to Sheppard and McKay they wouldn’t need to get caught so often.
He thought about telling that to Teyla, but they were already running, copulating, shooting, dodging bullets and munching on fruit, so he needed to save the rest of his attention for dialing the Gate.
He was good, yeah, but it wasn’t like he had the Ancient gene or anything.
*
Author: The Spike
Pairing: Ronon/Teyla, implied John/Rodney
Rating: S for Silly
Spoilers: only for every fanfic ever written
Betas: all hiding!!!
Summary: Ronon and Teyla do their part. While running.
*
Things, as they did, went spectacularly wrong.
Sheppard and McKay ended up tied up, unconscious, wounded, drugged and trapped behind both enemy lines and a big rock.
“Hunh,” said Ronon as he and Teyla loped through the jungle toward the Gate on their way to get a back-up team, a jumper, an elastic band, two avocados and a bowling ball.
“What is it, Ronon?” Teyla said. They were making excellent time and she wasn’t even breathing hard. Ronon liked that in a teammate.
“This happens a lot, doesn’t it?” Ronon said. “You and me managing to get away while McKay and Sheppard get caught. You and me going for back-up and coming back to rescue them.”
“I believe the correct usage is ‘you and I’,” Teyla said thoughtfully. “And you are right. This does happen a lot.”
“So is it that we’re that good?” Ronon asked. He’d turned around to face her, and was running backwards now, neatly missing tree roots and gopher holes and not slowing their pace one whit. “Or do they just suck that much?”
Teyla considered this. She picked a few random fruits of different sizes as they ran and juggled them meditatively, briefly pausing to shoot a deadly iratus flying squirrel, and ending her routine with a running, spinning, five-fruit catch before she spoke again.
“I believe,” she said, "it’s because Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay feel they need ever more elaborate rationalizations to engage in sex.”
Ronon raised an eyebrow. Teyla saw his eyebrow and raised two of her own. Ronon knew when he was beat and folded his hand.
“I did not know you played face poker,” Teyla said, collecting her winnings.
Ronon grinned.
“I bet that’s what McKay and Sheppard are playing right now!”
“You have been spending too much time with Jinto and Wex,” Teyla said, dryly, although Ronon could tell she was snorting on the inside.
“They get me,” he shrugged, unapologetically.
The Gate was now visible in the distance across a mile wide expanse of coverless plain. Lined up on either side were hundreds of spear shaking, rock wielding, blow-gun brandishing native accountants. Behind them were the secret phalanxes of laser carrying, grenade launching, Wraith worshipping native telephone sanitizers. Above them hovered several Wraith hive ships and a Genii flying carriage.
“So,” Ronon said. “Want to have sex?” He watched Teyla consider their situation. Odds of perhaps a thousand to two. The combined ordinance of three planets against his knives and blaster and her sticks and rifle. The lives of thier teammates hanging in the balance.
A complete rout seemed the surest outcome.
“After the rescue?” she queried.
“Why wait?” Ronon shrugged. It wasn’t like they couldn’t do it, run and shoot at the same time – everyone in the Pegasus galaxy learned that skill by the time they were 18 or there wouldn’t *be* anyone in the Pegasus galaxy.
Hey, maybe if he could teach that to Sheppard and McKay they wouldn’t need to get caught so often.
He thought about telling that to Teyla, but they were already running, copulating, shooting, dodging bullets and munching on fruit, so he needed to save the rest of his attention for dialing the Gate.
He was good, yeah, but it wasn’t like he had the Ancient gene or anything.
*
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 07:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 07:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 07:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 07:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 07:54 pm (UTC)Can't *gasp* breathe! Too f*gasp*unny!
*wheeze*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 07:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 08:10 pm (UTC)“I did not know you played face poker,” Teyla said, collecting her winnings.
*g*
::gives you a gold star and a lollipop omg::
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 08:39 pm (UTC)Hee! Very fun.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 08:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 08:56 pm (UTC)How are you so awesome?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 09:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 09:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 09:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 10:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 11:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 11:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-05 12:18 am (UTC)Ronon raised an eyebrow. Teyla saw his eyebrow and raised two of her own. Ronon knew when he was beat and folded his hand.
“I did not know you played face poker,” Teyla said, collecting her winnings.
I'm convinced that Teyla is Pegasus Galaxy Champion at face poker. I'm also convinced that Teal'c is the Milky Way Galaxy Champion. If they ever met it would take only a few rounds for them to realize that they are evenly matched. Then they would drive everyone else nuts by having entire conversations using nothing but their faces.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-05 01:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-05 03:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-05 03:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-05 03:59 am (UTC)Love.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-05 04:01 am (UTC)Or insanely brilliant sheerness, I'm not sure which.
::keels over like a parrot having a long, cold nap::
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-05 05:04 am (UTC)I believe you have won a few internets with this.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-05 05:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-05 07:26 am (UTC)I hurt from the cackling. Though, now I have a *nasty* visual of Teyla and Ronon running and sexing at the same time, which really isn't the turn on you'd think it would be.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-05 07:30 pm (UTC)briefly pausing to shoot a deadly iratus flying squirrel
This totally killed me!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-06 04:02 am (UTC)Laugh-out-loud funny!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-07 03:50 am (UTC)*wheezes*
He thought about telling that to Teyla, but they were already running, copulating, shooting, dodging bullets and munching on fruit, so he needed to save the rest of his attention for dialing the Gate.
Hee! Them Pegasus folks are survivors all right!
So much love for this. Thank you! :D
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-08 04:18 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-08 04:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-08 04:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-08 07:43 pm (UTC)I'd be afraid, but I'm already dead, right?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-09 03:06 am (UTC)Yes. They should teach that skill to the Tellurians. Who would, most likely, promptly adapt it to the use of copulating while rebuilding Ancient technology and writing scholarly articles at the same time, but I have the feeling the civilian contingent would enjoy that more anyway. ^_^
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-10 10:14 pm (UTC)Ohhhh, you have killed me dead. HURRAH.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-11 05:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-20 04:18 am (UTC)