Fic: "Non-Interfering Waffles" by kyrdwyn [PG-13, Gen]

[kyrdwyn.livejournal.com]

Title: Non-Interfering Waffles
Author: kyrdwyn
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Gen, Crack, Crossover with SG-1
sga_flashfic Challenge: Not Human Challenge
Spoilers: "Rising", "The Gift", SG-1 episodes "Prometheus", "Threads"
Summary: "You live for that," Marshall stated.

Author's Notes: Pure, unbeta'd, omg the bunny woke me up at 7 freakin' am on a saturday crack.

---

Non-Interference Agent Marshall Sumner sighed and looked over at his partner. "Must you do that?"

Non-Interference Agent Peter Grodin didn't look up. "Yes," he replied.

Marshall looked down to where the result of Grodin's knitting was pooled on the gateroom floor. As he watched, the redheaded botanist tripped over the folded scarf, managed to keep herself from falling, and looked around, frowning as she didn't see anything. Shoving a lock of hair out of her face, she continued across the gateroom. Beside Marshall, Grodin chuckled.

"You live for that," Marshall stated.

"Considering our current assignment is so dull, yes, I do live for it. Especially when I can get Dr. McKay."

Marshall shook his head. "What are you going to do with it when it's done? Drape it around the central spire, like some demented Doctor Who homage?"

"That's an idea. Wonder if anyone would notice?"

Marshall snorted. "She would. Wouldn't approve, either."

Grodin nodded and turned his work to start a new row. "Still, would be nice if we had something to do. The man doesn't even realize he's a Descended Ancient. I don't think he'd even care if he knew."

"Still, if he does use his abilities, we have to be in a position to neutralize the effects."

Grodin stopped knitting and turned to Marshall, a disgusted look on his face. "Right, because Sergeant Campbell using the abilities he may retain from being an amnesiac Descended Ancient is so much worse than Colonel Sheppard using the abilities he does retain and know about as a Descended Ori. If we're Non-Interference Agents, then why can't we enforce the rules against Sheppard?"

Marshall made a face. "We're Alteran Non-Interference Agents. The Ori have their own."

"Yes, and Colonel Simmons is so interested in keeping Sheppard from interfering." Grodin sent a dark look toward the late Air Force Colonel, who was cheerfully moving objects around in Colonel Carter's office. Having her things moved drove the woman nuts trying to figure out who was doing it, which was why Simmons did it.

"Well, the Ori are technically sticking to the treaty by putting an agent on him. Damn Alterans should have put language in there to actually require the Ori agents to prevent their people from interfering."

Over in the control room, Sheppard reached behind McKay's back and scrambled the data he was receiving from his satellite in orbit around P28-829 - a stronghold for the small faction of Ori residing in the Pegasus Galaxy. Both Marshall and Grodin knew that if McKay had discovered that, he would also have found the anti-Wraith weapon the Ori had developed. That would ruin the Ori's plans to dominate the natives of the Pegasus galaxy by being the 'divine ones' that freed the natives from the specter of the Wraith.

Simmons' laughter mixed with Grodin's chuckle. Looking down, Marshall saw that Grodin's scarf had tripped up three Marines, Dr. Keller, and Colonel Carter, landing them in a tangled heap on the floor. "Get your weapon off my ass!" one of the Marines squealed.

"That's not my weapon!" one of the other Marines yelled back.

Marshall banged his head against the railing. "I'm going for a walk," he told Grodin. "Try not to kill everyone in the mean time." He shifted, ending up in the waypoint diner. He glared at Oma Desala, who poured him a cup of coffee.

"You lied to me and this is really hell, right?"

Oma gave Marshall a wide smile. "Waffles?" she asked.

Marshall stuck his face into the mug of coffee. Like the last 200 times he tried drowning himself in coffee, it didn't work. All that resulted was a lungful of liquid, a bad caffeine hangover, and three days of buzzed knitting that topped the central spire of Atlantis with a giant knit beanie that looked like a woman's breast.

Grodin and Simmons laughed their asses off. Oma was not amused. Marshall ate more waffles.

Comments

[briar_pipe]

AHAHAHA!... *dies*