On the Brink by liketheriver (F**king Freezing Challenge)

[liketheriverrun.livejournal.com]

Title: On the Brink
Category: h/c, romance, preslash
Word Count: ~2,900
Rating: T 
Characters: Sheppard and McKay
Warnings: None.
Spoilers: Anything upto and including Harmony.
A/N:  It doesn't have a lot of freezing cold in it, but it has body warmth and really isn't that point of a challenge like this?
Summary:   He can see it all‒ the cliff, the ocean, the rocky crags below, Ronon’s scruffy face above, John’s reassuring smile beside him, the future it holds, the promise of someone being there to catch him even if he falls…especially if he falls. All of it is poised before him if he’s only willing to take the chance.

On the Brink

by liketheriver

 

“I think I saw him move his arm.”

 

Sheppard’s voice. Above him.   But not right above him. Higher. Much higher than it should have been and off to the side.

 

“Is that a good thing?”

 

And now Ronon’s voice, even higher than John’s.

 

“It means he’s alive, so, yes, I consider that good. Rodney?”

 

He tries to answer but all that comes out is a sort of mewling sound, smashed and garbled like all of him feels.

 

“I just mean with him moving around and how narrow the ledge is…”

 

“Oh, Jesus,” Sheppard exhales, before calling louder. “Rodney, don’t move. Just lie still and for God’s sake don’t move.”  His voice is a little closer but still to the side, down by his feet maybe.

 

He decides he should open his eyes, try to figure out what’s going on. But Sheppard sounds adamant about the not moving part, so he does as he’s told and remains perfectly still.

 

“I’m almost to you, McKay.” There’s the sound of rocks falling, clattering as they bounce against each other, and Ronon yelling, “Sheppard!” in worry from above, and John hissing, “Son of bitch!” before assuring, “I’m okay. This limestone is just crumbling more than I thought it would.”

 

Limestone? Sheppard is climbing down limestone? He’s been climbing a lot lately, like he’s suddenly discovered his inner gecko. Sure, maybe he a reason to climb the tower, but why is he climbing on limestone?

 

The warning not to move slips from his mind to join other memories, like where they are, why they’re there, and where’s Teyla? Teyla’s usually around somewhere. And the thought occurs to him that maybe she’s down here with him. That’s when he opens his eyes to see nothing but a horizon line far, far in the distance. Not fluffy white clouds floating high above him in a sky of blue like he was lying on his back because he isn’t lying on his back. He’s lying on his side, can feel his one arm underneath him, and he’s looking out into empty air. He rolls his eyes to look up, and there are the clouds he was expecting, thin and wispy with sea birds floating with wings stretched to catch the updrafts. He rolls his eyes to look down, down, down and sees jagged rocks sticking up out of crashing waves. Waves that are crashing against the same cliff face where he is suspended… what? A couple million stories up?

 

He tries to push himself back, only to find that the arm that isn’t underneath him is actually dangling free in the empty void between him and the ocean all that distance below. And that realization has the vertigo slamming into him with the force of the waves beneath him.

 

“Rodney, stop!”

 

A dozen questions come to mind… What? How? Where? Why? And he rolls them all into one desperate plea. “John?” 

 

“I’m coming, just don’t move.”

 

But instinct has him trying to push away from the precipice once more. And when the dangling right arm still can’t find purchase, his legs start an attempt of their own. That’s when the right leg joins the arm, toppling over the edge, his weight shifts naturally as a result, and he feels the rest of his body giving way to the pull of the half of his body already in freefall.

 

“NO!” John lands on him hard, his grip on Rodney’s hip is as tight as his voice, and he’s practically sprawled on top of McKay, pinning him in place, and he stays that way for several long seconds, as if making sure he really has stopped Rodney’s tumble into the ocean. Finally convinced, he drops his forehead to rest on the crown of Rodney’s head, several warm breaths are exhaled against the nape of Rodney’s neck, and Rodney really doesn’t mind. Sure the weight is a little uncomfortable but it’s warm, like the murmured, “Fuck, McKay,” spoken in disbelief and relief against the fine hairs on his neck, and Rodney decides the warmth is nice, because the wind blowing across him is cold and a little damp and… wasn’t he complaining about just that same thing a little while ago? As they were walking along the trail that edged the cliff face, following the energy readings, the gusts coming off the ocean, the updrafts carrying sea birds and the salty spray leaving him feeling damp and cold and practically yelling to be heard over the squawking.

 

“Why did we think this was a good idea to come up here in the first place?” 

 

“It was your idea, McKay. ‘A warehouse full of ZPMs for all we know’, I believe were your exact words.”

 

“This is why you’re the team leader, Sheppard. To protect us, your teammates, from ourselves. That’s why you grounded Teyla isn’t it?”

 

“Teyla being pregnant and you being a little chilly aren’t exactly the same thing, Rodney. Aside from the fact that they both involve babies.”

 

“Oh, so now I’m being childish? This from a man who called an entire mission because he got his boots muddy?”

 

And then the ground fell out from underneath him and he woke to find himself teetering on the brink of life and death… literally.

 

“Sheppard?” Ronon yells down to him.

 

“I’ve got him!” Rodney can feel the vibrations from John’s voice rippling through him because he doesn’t move from his position on top of McKay, just speaks a little more quietly at Rodney’s ear and promises, “I’ve got you.” And Rodney shivers.

 

“’Kay,” is all he can say, because he knows if Sheppard says it, it’s true.

 

Sheppard wraps an arm around his chest, sliding his hand between Rodney’s vest and the ledge, and rolls backward, pulling McKay with him. The action has Rodney crying out as intense pain shoots through his shoulder and arm.

 

“Easy,” John sooths doing his best to look Rodney over given that it’s now Rodney who is now sprawled back against John’s chest. “I think you might have dislocated your shoulder.”

 

Rodney groans and leans his head back on John’s collar bone. “I think I dislocated my entire body.”

 

The position they’re in gives him a much clearer view of where they are and Rodney quickly comes to the conclusion that they’ve pretty much exhausted their options for positions to be in. The ledge is maybe two meters wide, and that’s being generous, and it’s not much longer. Glancing up, he can see Ronon looking down on them from another five or six meters up.

 

“How… how are we…?” he starts to ask, the dread of being asked to climb that distance even without a busted arm apparent in his voice.

 

“Ronon, go back to the Jumper and get the harness system,” John orders, not loosening his hold on Rodney.

 

“Are you two going to be okay while I’m gone?”

 

“We’ll be better when you’re back with the damn harness,” John counters meaningfully and Ronon nods in understanding and is gone.

 

Sheppard’s breathing is finally starting to even out, the initial imminent death experience now passed, he can evidently relax and enjoy the view. But he doesn’t let go of Rodney, in fact he wraps his other arm around him tightly when McKay shivers again.

 

“Cold?”

 

“Yeah,” Rodney confirms, leaving unspoken that the shaking has just as much to do with the fact that he’s scared shitless because pending death really isn’t as much an improvement over imminent death as one might expect.

 

“I could try to get the emergency blanket out of your pack…”

 

“No! Don’t… don’t let go of me. Okay?” Rodney can’t seem to shake that feeling of tipping, being on the verge of freefall, like when he wakes from a deep sleep convinced he’s falling out of the bed.

 

“I’m not going to let you fall, Rodney.” John moves his hand enough to place it against Rodney’s neck, the touch warming cold, clammy skin. “I’m just afraid you’re in shock.”

 

“Don’t let go of me,” he pleads again. “It’s warm enough like this.” It’s a lie and given the shudder that passes through him he’s pretty sure Sheppard knows it’s a lie, but the thought of John not holding him right now is more than he can stand. “Besides, the Jumper’s not that far. Right? It can’t be more than a kilometer or two.”

 

“Right. Ronon can run that in his sleep. He’ll be back in no time.” But he does let go with one hand, making up for it by tightening his hold with the other as he works to unsnap his vest and unzip his jacket. “Can you at least shift a little? Get you arms inside my coat?”

 

Rodney twists his body, yelping when he moves his injured shoulder, but manages to do as Sheppard suggests, soaking in the warmth of his body, resting his cheek against John’s dark t-shirt, hearing his heart racing in his chest. Sheppard’s worried. Not that Rodney needs to hear the rapid heartbeat to know that, but it’s odd how the thrumming in his ear is so soothing and worrisome at the same time. It makes him think maybe Sheppard is right and he is in shock. Long arms slide around his back, pulling him a little closer, the motion seems so… natural even though he’s never been this close to Sheppard before.

 

“Better?” John asks into his hair and Rodney nods briskly, closing his eyes as another shiver races through him causing his teeth to chatter.

 

“Yeah, it feels nice…” Sheppard tenses at the admission and Rodney decides that admitting that might not be something an Air Force colonel would be comfortable hearing, so he amends quickly, “you know, to be warmer.”

 

“Warmer is good,” John agrees warily. “Better than throwing yourself into the ocean.” With a snort, he takes the opportunity to run one hand over Rodney’s head, carding fingers through light brown hair under the auspices of checking for injury, “I know you were devastated by the way I kicked your ass at computer golf last night, but taking a dive off a cliff is a little extreme, don’t you think?”

 

“Ass,” Rodney accuses. “I almost beat you that third…game.” The last word comes out as more of a hiss when John finds a lump.

 

“Sorry, I was afraid you’d hit it on the way down.   That was quite a tumble you took.” Rubbing briskly at Rodney’s back, Sheppard lets out a small, less than humored laugh. “That’s twice in one month I thought I’d lost you.”

 

“Twice?” Rodney tries to think of which of the many other times they’d been in danger Sheppard is referring to. “When was the first? When Harmony threatened to have me beaten to death by bounty hunters if I came between the two of you?”

 

“No.” McKay can hear the grin in John’s voice, picture it even though his eyes are closed as he instinctively snuggles in closer to the only source of warmth around him. “Before that.”

 

Before that? Before that was the malfunction that had put the entire city in lockdown. “The quarantine? But it wasn’t a real virus. Just a malfunction and my…allergic reaction to the alien plants.”

 

“I’m not talking about the actual quarantine,” John mumbles so quietly Rodney wouldn’t be able to hear him if the words weren’t reverberating in his chest.

 

Rodney crinkles his brow in thought, then winces when it makes his head hurt worse. “Then what…?” and it clicks together. The proposal. Sheppard is talking about his almost proposal to Katie. And now it’s Rodney’s turn to tense, because surely that’s not what he’s talking about. Surely not. Because Rodney has never been that lucky in his life, ever. And just the thought that it might be what John’s talking about has him saying, “Oh.”

 

That noncommittal response has Sheppard back peddling, but seeing as he’s sitting between a rock and the proposer in questions, he doesn’t have very far to go. “I mean, if you got married, who would play computer games with me? Teyla thinks they’re stupid and Ronon keeps breaking laptops thinking if he pushes the button harder he can hit the ball further and, besides, you owe me a couple dozen six packs by now and…” John sighs and his heart is beating even faster and he finally just gives up and changes the subject. “Ronon should be back soon.”

 

The vertigo has returned, but this time Rodney doesn’t seem to mind. Because he’s back on the brink and he’s been here before, willing to tumble into vulnerable territory. Mandy Wilford back in high school, Sarah Hall during his post doc, hell, even Sam Carter during his fist visit to the SGC. But when he got right down to it, those had been easy. Those had been based on lust and sexual tension with little emotional investment. But, from the beginning, Sheppard had been different, which is why he’s always stayed a few steps away from the edge with him because he knows, deep down he knows, there would be no coming back from John. Mainly because he likes being with Sheppard, likes hanging out with him and eating meals with him and arguing with him and saving the galaxy with him and he loves him… in a different way, maybe a better way, and Rodney has always feared what would happen if he didn’t have that because he took a chance and went over the edge. Sheppard might react in anger, or confusion, or shock, or, the worst that Rodney could imagine, he could pretend that it was no big deal then slowly pull away and just vanish from his life. 

 

But when he looks up at Sheppard, sees the same fears and worries he’s battled with for years now whispering across John’s face the same way the man’s awkward smile does, he thinks he’s ready to take those last few steps he’s denied himself since Sheppard shot him while he wore the personal shield and they burst into a fit of giddy laughter together. He feels like laughing again with the same spontaneous joy he’d felt that day, but he figures that would hurt his head and his shoulder, so he settles for smiling at John in return.

 

“I’d miss playing video games with you, too.”

 

John’s smile transmutes into one that is soft and comfortable and as welcoming as his old sofa was in his apartment back on the Earth. The kind that makes him want to take a nap and forget his worries for as long as he’s willing to let himself do it. “I guess we got lucky that it didn’t work out with Katie, then.”

 

Sheppard’s hand travels up to cup the back of Rodney’s neck and squeezes and Rodney settles back easily into John’s chest. “Yeah, lucky as hell.”

 

“Sheppard?”

 

Ronon’s voice has them both looking up. “We’re here. Do you have the harness?” It lands beside them and John grabs it and sets to work easing it onto McKay. “So, are we on for a game of virtual golf when we get back?”

 

The wind whips around them and Rodney already misses the heat of John’s body. But it’s temporary, he knows, and the prospect of the return and more warms him enough to say, “It’s a date,” and really mean it.

 

John continues clipping the harness on him and his eyes flick to Rodney’s with a grin. “I like the sound of that.” 

 

Rodney does his best not to cry out when John jostles his shoulder and decides to try to take his mind of the pain by confessing something he’s been thinking about a lot lately. “Sheppard, I think I made a mistake when I showed you that ring.”

 

“I think I made a mistake when I didn’t tell you what I really thought of your idea to propose.” John checks over his work, just to make sure everything is safe, to make sure McKay’s safe, like he has time and time again. He gives a strong tug on the rope and tells Rodney, “I’ll see you up top.”

 

Ronon understands the signal and the rope goes taut before Rodney starts to lift. For a second, he’s suspended in midair, all of him, his whole body hovering like the gulls he can see riding the currents. He can see it all‒ the cliff, the ocean, the rocky crags below, Ronon’s scruffy face above, John’s reassuring smile beside him, the future it holds, the promise of someone being there to catch him even if he falls…especially if he falls. All of it is poised before him if he’s only willing to take the chance.

 

So he takes that final step.

 

“I made a bigger mistake when I went to the botany lab instead of staying with you where I belonged.” Because he did belong with John, in every meaning of the word.

 

Sheppard’s hand remains on the back of his neck until he can no longer reach him.  Behind him there’s the cliff, the ocean, the threat of death, but Rodney doesn’t look back, there’s no going back, there’s only John’s eyes on his the entire way up. And even as Rodney is being lifted up to safety, he’s falling into something that is so much more.

 

The End