[identity profile] elenariel.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] sga_flashfic
Title:Five People Rodney Never Had To Put Up With, or, Five Crossovers That Never Happened
Author:[livejournal.com profile] elenariel
Rating: PG
Words:699
A/N: Possibly straying into crack!fic territory here. For those who don't know, the fourth crossover is with a book series called Temeraire, which basically re-imagines history with dragons.



*
“What the hell is he doing here?” Rodney demanded, glaring at Sam and studiously ignoring the ‘guest’ she was showing around.

“Nice to see you too, Doctor McKay.” Tony Stark replied with, in Rodney’s opinion, a rather annoying smirk.

You – don’t touch anything.” He jabbed his finger at Tony. “You haven’t answered my question.” He said, turning to Sam and going back to ignoring Tony.

Sam opened her mouth to answer when Tony put his hand on the device Rodney been waiting for Sheppard to activate, and it chose that moment to light up like a damned Christmas tree.

“Oh you have got to be kidding me.”

*

“Give me that.” House swiped the PDA Rodney was working on.

“Hey!” Rodney made a futile attempt to grab it back, and failed miserably. “Beckett let me do work in the infirmary.” He sulked.

“Did he know about it?”

Rodney opened and closed his mouth, momentarily lost for words.

“Oh good, keep doing fish impressions. It makes my day that much better.”

“If you’d diagnosed me faster, then I wouldn’t have had that much to catch up on because those morons in the labs were left unsupervised. I could have done it faster with my laptop.” Rodney glared, attempting to regain some composure.

“I’m sorry. Of course the hypochondriac knows more than a medical doctor.”

I do.”

“Do not.”

“Do.”

“Not. If you’re going to be childish, I can do this all day.” House grinned, twirling his cane.

*

Rodney almost missed the man poking around in the caves. He was looking for a power source after all, not a lanky guy in a pinstripe suit and long brown coat. He certainly wasn’t expecting said suit wearing man to come barreling around a corner and knock him over.

Rodney let out a [manly] yelp of surprise. “What the hell are you doing?” He grouched, pushing the idiot off him. “You’ve got eyes haven’t you? Use them.”

The man frowned. “What are you doing here?” His head whipped around, as though listening for something Rodney couldn’t hear. “Never mind. Piece of advice?”

Rodney was about to tell him that he didn’t need advice from idiots running around in dark caves, when some rather odd noises echoed up the passageway.

“Run!”

*
“Actually, Doctor McKay, that answer is wrong.”

Rodney’s head shot up. “What?” He looked back down. “No it’s not, I checked that part twice. And how can you see it anyway?”

Temeraire snorted. “My Grandfather’s eyesight was better than yours when I was young, and I certainly think I can see better than that. You need to carry the one in your second calculation.” He gestured with a claw larger than Rodney’s arm.

Rodney resister the urge to flinch and narrowed his eyes at the dragon. “Who asked you here anyway?”

“I am told you did Doctor, when you read my thesis concerning the alternative applications of naquadah.”

“That was a rhetorical question.” Rodney huffed, and surreptitiously corrected his work. “And someone should have told me you were a dragon. Not that that’s a problem!” He added hastily.

Temeraire ignored him, except to flick his tail and say an offhanded manner, “Colonel Sheppard advised me to threaten you with citrus fruit should you became argumentative.”

*

“But I’m not dead!” Rodney backed away.

NO, BUT I THOUGHT I MIGHT INTRODUCE MYSELF SO WE CAN SAVE TIME LATER. I’VE HAD FAR TOO MANY FALSE ALARMS WHERE YOU ARE CONCERNED, DOCTOR MCKAY.

The figure pulled out what looked like a large hour glass from inside it’s robes and looked at it carefully, before putting it away. As far as a seven foot skeleton can look at something, lacking eyes and all.

“Wait – is that for me?” Rodney lunged, but Death stepped neatly out the way. “How much time do I have left? When - ”

WHEN IT HAPPENS, IT HAPPENS. AND TRY NOT TO LOOK TOO SURPRISED.

“Oh, right, because I know when it’s going to happen, what with you telling me.”

YOU OUGHT TO. IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT I BELIEVE, ALTHOUGH I MAY BE CONFUSING YOU WITH YOUR COUNTERPART TWO UNIVERSES OVER.

“Well thank you for that.” Rodney rolled his eyes.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-23 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] konzatsu.livejournal.com
death! i think i love you. *cackles madly*

lovely little bits, here.
and now i have this urge to see how rodney would deal with jack instead of/in addition to the doctor. :x

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-23 11:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kensieg.livejournal.com
write it write it!

you do know that there is a jack is on atlantis fic? it's called Charming the pants off the pashahads.

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From: [identity profile] konzatsu.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-07-24 12:02 am (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] kensieg.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-07-24 12:04 am (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] kensieg.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-07-24 02:57 am (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] emeraldsword.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-07-25 09:15 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2008-07-24 12:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marag.livejournal.com
::laughs:: Love it! These are all fun :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-24 12:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linziday.livejournal.com
LOL!!!! I love the one with House.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-24 01:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] water-soter.livejournal.com
Loved that last two lines, lmao! Nicely done!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-24 01:17 am (UTC)
florahart: (Default)
From: [personal profile] florahart
I am now desperately curious how, exactly, they got Temeraire to Atlantis (via ship, obv, as there's no way he'd fit through a gate, but is there a hold that big?). And where they put him.

Also, I wish to know whether this is AU to Temeraire, in which he is placed in a contemporary setting instead, or whether this is Temeraire, age, whatever the hell that would be.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-24 01:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teh-bug.livejournal.com
Hee! Death!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-24 02:01 am (UTC)
ext_975: photo of a woof (Cool)
From: [identity profile] springwoof.livejournal.com
hee! what a fun spin around the universes!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-24 02:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astrochelonian.livejournal.com
Awesome! I always love Discworld crossovers, and this reminds me that I really need to get around to reading Temeraire

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-24 06:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alleonh.livejournal.com
oh wow... Rodney McKay vs House. The world is not ready for that atomic snark bomb!

And Tony Stark with the ATA gene. wow, my mind just flashed to the Iron Man armor being ATA controlled...and Sheppard taking it out for a test flight XD

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-24 07:02 am (UTC)
ext_14845: betta fish (Default)
From: [identity profile] fish-echo.livejournal.com
Ahhaaaahaaa.

Now I want to see a snark-off between House and McKay.

And Death's final line is awesome.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-24 11:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyoflisquill.livejournal.com
LOL! Oh so much fun, especially the House one. I think I could listen to them bickering for hours!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-24 11:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aworldinside.livejournal.com
Hee. Awesome. Especially loved Temeraire.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-24 02:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vonnix.livejournal.com
House/SGA crossovers are brilliant. And the one up there that you just did is sheer genius. Seriously, would it be too much to ask you to write more? because you may be my favorite person in every universe right now. You seriously just made my day.

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From: [identity profile] vonnix.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-02 01:47 am (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2008-07-24 04:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] accidentalfan.livejournal.com
Hee hee. These were funny. Though the idea of Rodney and House going at it made my head explode a little.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-24 10:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burntcopper.livejournal.com
....I want more crossovers. AUs where Tony Stark is part of the science team and Rodney keeps glaring at him because of the charisma and everything. Where House is head medic. and Rodney always pouts every time he comes out of the infirmary because he's been out-snarked. Where the Doctor keeps appearing and everyone in Atlantis is left going '...wha?' (except for Chuck. Chuck used to be a companion.) Death keeps poking the hourglasses that look like a glassblower had an asthma attack.

DRAGONS. DRAGONS in ATLANTIS. :gibber: Wraith = small. Dragon = big. Dragons remember the Ancients and thought they were idiots.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-25 09:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emeraldsword.livejournal.com
I really liked all these - Death was my favourite, though (also, slight typo there - "its robes" not "it's robes"). Also particularly liked the House one.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-02 01:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vonnix.livejournal.com
Oh god. Your icon is just... wow. Can it have my babies?

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From: [identity profile] vonnix.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-02 06:00 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2008-07-29 02:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notfoundyet.livejournal.com
I don't think there can be enough House McKay crossovers in this world; thanks for writing more!

Also, Death and Rodney? Best crossover idea *ever*.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-29 11:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-wanlorn.livejournal.com
The Discworld one and the Iron Man one and the Doctor Who one are awesome.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-30 07:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] synekdokee.livejournal.com
I actually only got the House one and the last one (The only PTerry book I've read is Good Omens, and I'm more of a GNeil fan anyway, but you'd have to live in a fucking cave not to know Death anyway :P), but I'd just like to say, I've been dying to read some SGA/House crossovers (Elizabeth and Cuddy would get a long, and Rodney and House would, well, not get along), so thanks for this little snippet!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-05 09:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] missyvortexdv.livejournal.com
There were a couple I have no idea what the fandom was crossed with but the ones I recognised were damn fun.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-20 12:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magicamethyst80.livejournal.com
Wow, here at the recommendation of <LJ User=ladyyueh, sorry I'm late to the party on this one. Another three good drabble crossovers, and I absolutely love the idea of Rodney meeting House, Tony Stark, and the 10th Doctor. All of them would have potential for much longer crossover stories. Right now I'm dying to see Iron Man crossed with any of those fandoms, but particularly Stargate Atlantis.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-07-23 03:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aqua-eyes.livejournal.com
lol! awesome. ^^

(no subject)

Date: 2009-11-28 09:24 pm (UTC)
a_blackpanther: (Default)
From: [personal profile] a_blackpanther
Just *rofl*. Death.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-05-21 05:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hajimebassaidai.livejournal.com
House and McKay is just always so brilliant to see! Love it!

Liked Rodney fighting between wondering what a guy in a Earth clothes was doing in there and alarm over the weird noises!

Finally Rodney (and John) must be really hacking Death off by now! Snark for Death! LOL

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