Orpheus, by Domenika Marzione [team challenge]

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

Orpheus
53000 words; genfic

Summary: In the annals of SGC history, it will forever be debated whether the decision to remove then-Major John Sheppard from the Atlantis expedition was an act of great folly or one of great fortune.

John knew that he didn't have time to be maudlin or nostalgic, but he wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to be doing right now. He knew Atlantis and Atlantis knew him, but things had changed in the time he'd been away and he felt unhappy and lost with the strangeness of what had once been so intimate. He couldn't direct traffic or otherwise contribute to the Great Putting-Away because he wasn't sure where everything went anymore. He felt underfoot and useless, out of step with the pace of the city and its residents. He hadn't realized how much he'd put into this return, how much he'd anticipated it being only a good thing under terrible circumstances, and how badly he'd forgotten that you really can't go home again.

With thanks to ileliberte and vonknibble for their assistance and to the mods for holding the door open long enough for me to slip through.

Comments

[skeddy-kat.livejournal.com]

Oh my. This was wonderful and painful. It left me with the same sort of feeling reading In Harm's Way or watching some of the great WWII movies did. Your characters caught me up tight and took me along for the ride, even when I wished I could change the direction of the tracks. It was a gripping story, masterfully told.

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much.

[em_kellesvig]

This was a difficult, demanding read, particularly the ending, but so rich and rewarding. One single decision and the lives of so many are changed.

Shalom, Yoni. Shalom.

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

I'm glad the payoff was worth it. A few years ago, I did a Five Things where it was five ways Atlantis died and they were all spun off of first season plot points that were resolved in ways not dictated by the stars' contracts. I guess this is the sixth, in a way.

Thanks.

[ratcreature]

This was a really cool AU scenario. A kind of bitter-sweet ending though.

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

You're not still coming to my work hoping for the fluffy bunny AU, right? ;)

I'm glad you liked.

[jssangel.livejournal.com]

I can't tell you how thrilled I am to see this! I loved that first fragment that you posted way back when, and I had to work hard to not be the annoying person who is all "when are you gonna finish it!! when! now! now!"

What a perfect rainy evening I have to look forward to - all curled up with a good book. Thank you!

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

As my WIP pile up, I was very happy to get this one off of the list. First in, first out, I guess. :)

I hope you're as pleased after reading.

[marag.livejournal.com]

Wow. I'm afraid that with my daughter talking incessantly in my ear I couldn't give this the attention it deserved, but it was nonetheless in-character and gripping. Excellent stuff.

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

Yael can owe me one. ;)

Many thanks.

[auntiemeesh.livejournal.com]

Oh man, a bit painful at the end, but an excellent read all the way through. It's fascinating to conjecture what might have happened at different junctures if the show world followed real world rules instead of 'keep the viewers happy' rules.

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

It's maybe ironic to go AU to get real world consequences, but... :)

Thanks.

[jssangel.livejournal.com]

awesome - heartbreaking and uplifting. I love how real your John is. I liked Ronon's brief appearance with Ford, and the biting illustration of Ford's degeneration drawn by Ronon's place on his team.

Thank you for writing this and sharing it. I always enjoy your work.

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

I wish I had done more with Ronon as Ford's pet -- I find the idea terrible and interesting because it is terrible. But, alas.

I'm glad it was worth the wait.

[ikyrian.livejournal.com]

You finished! You finished! *does dance of joy* I had wondered if you would ever come back to this fic.

I'm, honestly, almost too giddy to read it. Almost.

It's just, it's finished! *flails*

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

It only took two-plus years. ;)

Hope the wait was worth it.

[stillnosleep.livejournal.com]

I was so excited when I saw you had a new fic - couldn't wait to get into it.

After burying myself in it, I have to say - you sure didn't disappoint. This was amazing. It was a wonderfully dark look at what could have happened if Elizabeth hadn't prevailed. I wanted to laugh at Washington, cry for Ronon and scream at the IOA for being so stupid (that's all I can coherently say right now - my mind is still swimming). Rodney's survivor guilt and ultimate sacrifice was like a knife to the heart.

The ending, while heartrending was perfect in my very humble opinion. Thank you for sharing your talent.

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. I wanted to have everything a little messy and imperfect (because that's how things are) and had entirely too much fun building this alternate world off of 'Intruder.' I'm glad I hit the right notes at least most of the time. :)

[scarlet-gryphon.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow. I love what if? scenarios, and this? Heartbreakingly poignant. Beautiful, as usual.

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

I'm a sucker for 'what if', too.

Many thanks.

[cheyinka]

Oh, wow.

That was amazing.

I loved the naming of things, I loved the dozen little ways that all the characters were changed, I loved the way that every little development increased the tension until I would have believed it if everyone they'd wanted to find on the second ship had been dead - and the ending was just perfect.

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

Coming up with those changes was most of the fun, I think. This is the first story I've written where I might've wanted to do a DVD commentary on the choices I made.

Glad you liked.

[rhuad.livejournal.com]

Such a poignant story - I enjoyed it very much. As always, thank you for sharing!
Cathy

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[lillian13.livejournal.com]

I've been waiting on this since you posted that first bit, and unsuprisingly you didn't disappoint.

Once again, you've written it the Way it Should Have Been (i.e., if TPTB had any knowledge of the armed forces other than what they saw in the movies). The end was a gut-punch, but not unexpected. This Rodney didn't have the support group he would have had otherwise.

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

A lot of people didn't have who they would've otherwise relied on; how that changed them, I hope, was part of the story.

I'm glad it was worth the wait. :)

[berry-hearts.livejournal.com]

HOLY CRAP. EPIC. That is all. :D


(I love how you made Ford into Ford and not a Prick)

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

Ford is ever Ford, even when he's crazy. :)

Many thanks.

[sholio]

I really enjoyed this. The basic idea for the AU (Caldwell being put in charge) is very convincing -- actually, more so than what the show gave us -- and I liked the firmly matter-of-fact and unsentimental way that it developed, especially Teyla's pragmatic philosophy regarding life and death in the Pegasus galaxy, and the way that John moved on (emotionally) after leaving Pegasus.

The marines had bitched, mostly but not entirely in jest, that they hadn't traveled to another galaxy just so that the Air Force could continue to drop shit on their heads.

ahahaha, I loved this line.

I also like the uncertainty at the end, with John's future still somewhat in doubt, and the way that main character deaths are not, in this story, treated as The End Of The World while background deaths are brushed off; I liked that they were handled more or less the same, and in neither case with a great wailing and rending of garments.

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

On the big list of things I'd wished the show had dealt with (but am secretly glad the didn't because they would've wrecked it), the way Pegasus deals with life and death and loss and faith... Of course, then Teyla and Ronon would've had something to do besides roll their eyes at the wacky Earth people. *cough*

I would've felt cheated by a neat ending, so I wouldn't dare spring it on anyone else.

Thanks. :)

[cofax7]

Wow, that was epic, but I expected no less from you *g*

I think the most telling bit, to me, was Ronon and how Ford treated him. And Rodney, who learned, but maybe not the right things.

Well-done indeed.

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

Long before I had the idea for this story, I had the idea for Ronon falling into Ford's hands rather than Atlantis's. I've been waiting two years to get to that.

Thank you.

Orpheus, by Domenika Marzione

[sgafan33.livejournal.com]

Should comments have spoiler warnings? Consider yourself warned if you haven't read the story.

A great, long tale. Thanks for sharing.

For me, I find the military acronyms slightly disruptive since I don't know them, especially if I can't figure them out from the context, but that's my problem. I know that's how you write.

I'm always of two minds when it comes to story warnings. Should a story have plot warnings (major character non-canon death) or would that take away from the story itself? It certainly would have colored the reader's mind for this story. Maybe the fact that the story is obviously not the Atlantis we know should be warning enough that anything is fair game.

For myself, I know I would probably miss out on some great tales, but there are just some things I don't like to read. Major non-canon deaths being one of them. I'm a bit sorry I read this (my reaction was "Well, crap."), it took a lot of time and I've read other stories by you and have liked them. The ending makes this story not one I would reread, unlike some of your other stories. But again, that's my problem and doesn't take away from your excellent writing.

Re: Orpheus, by Domenika Marzione

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

At the risk of offending... it's not my responsibility to cater to your squicks. People successfully watch television and read books without a detailed list of potentially unwanted plot elements printed alongside like a health warning. In this case, I started off with the common-sense assumption that several canon characters were dead, then killed off hundreds of unnamed characters in the search before actually getting around to revealing any canon deaths. That, plus my history of not pulling punches, especially in AUs, should probably have been sufficient warning for the truly sensitive. I'm sorry you were upset, but I won't accept blame for it.

[justtheficsmaam.livejournal.com]

Fantastic.

I missed our team (and Lorne! *sniff*) but your team is so lovely, I don't care.

Your characters have become so beloved to me. I was chirping happily to see Reletti emerge (and secretly waiting for his reaction to Atlantis).

Oh Rodney. Oh Ronon.

I really liked your analysis of Radek's managerial style, so true.

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

I figured throwing in a few cameos of 'my' characters (Clayton, Reletti, Ortilla, etc.) would make the universe seem less weird and maybe a little less depressing considering the body count. (Also why I left Lorne's death off-screen.)

Many thanks.

[jya-bd-cp-ttgb.livejournal.com]

*lays a dozen roses at your feet*

*wanders off*

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

Glad you liked.

[fashi0n-mistake.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed this fic (though, again, you gutted me pretty successfully *g*) and I really can't find the words to express how much I liked it.

So! I'll just you a list: the characterizations, Hammond (oh how much did I love him in the story? A whole lot!), John, all of your Marines, your OCs showing up in different functions, Major Radner (that was awesome btw), Rodney failing to deal, Elizabeth sacrificing herself in this verse too, and...other stuff too *g*.

Congratulations on writing another amazing fic!

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

Thanks. As I mentioned above, I thought bringing in some of my OCs would make the universe a little less foreign. I'm glad that worked out. And I am very happy Hammond turned out well -- I can't believe I've never used him before.

[jujuberry136.livejournal.com]

Wow. I'm really left at a loss for words- that was amazing. I think you really explored the idea of team, even if it's not the one were used to seeing. Watching how Atlantis and her commanders changed with the senior staff missing was really impressive- I love how you really explored the changes in John, Teyla, and the Atlantis base as a whole went through.

Thanks again!

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

It was originally intended to meet the B-Team criteria, but it sort of evolved into something else, I think. I'm glad it worked.

Thanks.

[(Anonymous)]

Good Heavens! What a terrific story! I especially loved the hive ship invasion parts.

--LastScorpion--

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

Thank you muchly.

[wandering-in.livejournal.com]

I had a day off sick yesterday so had some time to read... I remember reading the first bits that you had posted a while back, and this was a perfect conclusion to that story. It's always interesting to see characters that you know (both canon and OC) put in difference circumstances and how that changes them (and how it doesn't). Lots of things I liked: John finding his way back, Ford being Ford, the "B-team" of Radner/Yoni/Radek, cameos by your OCs (did I miss Clayton??), Hammond, and on and on. Interesting to see what could have happened if Ronon ended up with Ford. I also have wondered sometimes about the Wraith strategy of dialing the stargate to prevent escape - it must be an outgoing wormhole right? Otherwise where would they be dialing *in* from??

Anyway, thanks for this, another great story!

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

Clayton has an unnamed cameo -- she's being helped to safety by Yoni when Carson goes to get beamed up by the *Odyssey**.

I mentioned above that I have long thought that CrazedFord + Ronon would be a devastating combination, so I'm glad I finally got to do something with it.

Very glad you liked.

[wychwood]

Damn, but that was good. I love the logistics of it all, the flow of the action and the increasing comfort with the hive ship assaults. I love your Teyla, and your Ford (I do like the way you've translated him into this context - and that he ended up working with Ronon! That was a nice touch). Seeing your regular Marines turning up unexpectedly was also fun - especially the rescue of Reletti. Plus Yoni, who is always awesome, though it was sad to see him so damaged here.

And Rodney - oh, Rodney. I was sad at the deaths, and especially Elizabeth, but once Rodney came back to the city there was such a sense of comfort at seeing him in the meetings again that his death had more impact than any of the others. So close, and yet... I did feel that it worked well, though, for the story and the character as you'd depicted him; guilt and grief combining with the selflessness and practicality he does have under the bluster and arrogance to push him into that sacrifice. And, as Teyla says, and in Pegasus especially, getting the death you choose is often as much as you can hope for.

I liked the idea of Hammond on Atlantis; he seems like a good guy, and can balance the military and civilian needs of the city and the expedition like Elizabeth usually managed (and Sam seems decent at, based on my severely backlogged viewing *g*) but Caldwell didn't always seem ready for. And the idea of Halling on an SG team - I was always a fan of the mixed teams, and it was fun to see one here! I liked John's sudden moment of realisation (and mine, because I hadn't thought of it!) that the loss of the Daedalus meant that Atlantis was still mostly in post-Siege conditions; that was an interesting twist.

Great story, anyway; I'm glad you did manage to get it out in the end, because I'd have been sorry to miss it!

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

... and now you see why I wouldn't have minded a commentary track. ;)

Many, many thanks.

[beatrice_otter]

This was a wonderful AU, and thank you so much for writing it!

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

You're welcome and thank you in return. :)