Break Me Kindly - Voyeurism Challenge
May. 12th, 2005 02:32 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
sethoz.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
sga_flashficjust got time to post this before I take the laptop for a fine tuning... it's quite dark, I don't know what happened to the muses...
Title: Break Me Kindly
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sethoz
Characters/Pairing: McKay/Sheppard, McKay/Other
Rating: UK 18 - for hints of NON-CON
Words: 1973
Genre: Angst/Dark
Notes: Has HINTS of NON-CON, implied more than seen. And there is some doubt as to if it's actually non-con...
EDIT: Has now been beta-ed. Thanks toklo_the_hobbit for being my beta.
Summary: They tried threats, violence, hurting those he cared about but sometimes the thing that breaks you is kindness...
Break Me Kindly
It was locked.
This was the first door he had come across in the complex that was locked and in his experience when people locked doors it was because they wanted to either protect the thing inside or they didn't want the thing inside to leave. Sheppard was hoping it was the latter as he raised his P-90 and fired several rounds into the lock before kicking the door open, watching with some satisfaction as it creaked and groaned, then fell down.
“Rodney?” Sheppard called as he stepped inside, scanning the room. White. Just like every other damn room in the place. White walls, four white orbs in the corners, a white bed and on the white bed, dressed in white robes... Rodney McKay.
Who was staring at John Sheppard as if he had just seen a ghost.
Sheppard stepped forward, his weapon still held in his hands as he scanning his team mate for any obvious injuries. There was some bruising on his wrists and face, as if someone had restrained him and Sheppard felt his blood pressure rising as Rodney tried to back away from Sheppard as if scared. He wanted to go back in time and kill the Nichen's again, but this time with the knowledge that they had definately done... something to Rodney.
“Rodney? It's me, Sheppard, we've come to get you out.” Sheppard said softly, looking over his shoulder to see if any more of the Nichen fighters were coming. Rodney laughed, a high pitched, keening laugh as if he had just stepped forward to look at his own death. It wasn't a nice sound and an uneasy feeling took up residence in Sheppard's gut as his head whipped back to stare at Rodney who was staring right back, his eyes bright.
“McKay?” Sheppard asked, the word saying everything he needed it too. What happened to you? What did they do? Who do I need to kill? How can I make it better? The laughter stopped suddenly and Rodney stilled, staring at Sheppard with an almost transfixed look before nodding and getting off the bed.
“Can we go home?” He asked quietly, speaking for the first time. Stunned by the sudden change in Rodney's manner, Sheppard could only nod as he felt his throat tighten. Those bastards had done something to Rodney... but what?
Getting into the lab where they had heard the Nichens were keeping Rodney captive had been the easy part. The fighters guarding the building had been few and the scientists no real match for an Atlantis strike team. It seemed however that at least one had managed to raise the alarm because by the time Major Sheppard and Rodney McKay left the room, there were fighters waiting for them.
“Be careful!” Rodney yelled as Sheppard exchanged bullets with some of them. “If they get close enough to you they can change into people you know.” There was an odd tone in Rodney's voice and Sheppard had to use every once of his will power not to turn round and ask who they had made Rodney see. The last Nichen in front of them fell to the ground and Sheppard relaxed slightly. He felt Rodney's hand rest on his hip and then slid lower before plucking his Beretta out of its holster and pulling it away.
Panic stricken, Sheppard turned, his hand reaching out for the gun as Rodney aimed it behind them and fired. A Nichen made a gurgling sound before slumping to the ground from where he had been trying to sneak up on them. The entire exchange had taken place in a few seconds and then Rodney turned back to him and empty expression on his face as he clutching the weapon tightly.
“You need someone watching your back.” He said horsely and Sheppard frowned before giving a reluctant nod. Still, as soon as they met up with any of the others, he was taking that gun back. The two crept forward, scanning every junction carefully.
“Lt. Ford, do you copy?” Sheppard hissed into his radio.
“Ford here sir.”
“I've got McKay he's... walking. Meet us at the main entrance.”
“Understood sir. Ford out.” The radio clicked a final time, the joy in Ford's voice clear. Sheppard turned his head to speak to Rodney – and felt the butt of the gun smash across the side of his head. Groaning he sank to the floor, a dazed look on his face as his arm flapped for a second. Rodney bent down, his fingers pressing against Sheppard's neck for a moment, feeling for a pulse and then the warmth had pulled away and Rodney was running, his feet padding on the ground as he vanished round the corner.
Groaning again, Sheppard forced himself upright, holding a hand against his head. Cursing quietly he stumbled to his feet and jogged after Rodney, the worry increasing with every step. What the hell was going on in Rodney's head?
A single gunshot sounded and Sheppard forced himself to move faster as a second gunshot fired and then another. He spotted an open door from where the sound was coming from and reached it, dreading what he would find inside.
Row after row of white orbs, like the ones in the room he had found Rodney in, lay shattered, some shot, some smashed and some ground under foot. In the centre of the devastation stood Rodney who was calmly shooting orb after orb. And in the far corner slumped the dead form of a Nichen, a bullet hole straight between the eyes.
“Rodney...” Sheppard said at last, forcing his dry mouth to speak. Rodney jumped and spun round to face him, the gun never wavering.
“I couldn't let them keep this.” He said quietly before turning away from Sheppard and picking up an orb, throwing it against the wall. Rodney stepped over to the dead body, Sheppard still standing by the door in shock. From the Nichen's hand, Rodney prised free the only remaining orb that was still intact and looking at it. Gripping it tightly he made his way back to Sheppard.
“I'm ready to go home now.”
---
“They, ah, could take on the forms of people you knew... during the day they would try and get me to help them and if I wouldn't they would drag out someone I thought I knew and kill them. They killed..” Rodney paused, his Adam apple bobbing furiously as he tried to get his emotions under control. From her seat by the bed Elizabeth Weir gave him a sympathetic smile.
“We don't have to do this all at once.” She said.
“No! No, I... I want to say it now, get it out while I can...” Rodney stammered. From his guarding position at the end of the bed, Sheppard watched silently, still unable to believe that after seventeen days of searching Rodney was back and besides the bruising around his wrist, face and lower abdomen he seemed unharmed.
“They... they killed you, Elizabeth, slowly, made me watch. But I couldn't tell them what they wanted to know. I knew it wasn't you... tiny details about the way you spoke and acted but it still sounded like you... they did that during the day and during the night...” Rodney trailed off again, his face becoming tight and pinched. “They left me alone during the night but they recorded me... they recorded it all...”
“Okay, Rodney.” Elizabeth said gently, standing up and placing a reassuring hand on his arm. “That's enough for now. Dr. Beckett says you can return to your room, but I want you to speak to Dr. Heightmeyer before you get cleared for active duty.” She told him. Rodney just nodded and Sheppard could feel himself himself tensing up even more. Rodney McKay never just nodded and agreed to do anything.
What else did they do to him?
---
... and during the night they sent you to me and even though I knew the others weren't real, I couldn't help myself, I let him touch me, let him make love to me... and when I found out... he didn't stop, not when I asked, not when I fought... not when I begged... he wanted satisfaction and he used me to get it... and they recorded it all...
The voice whispered across the night sky, to where Sheppard was standing by the balcony outside his room, staring out at the sea. He turned around to face the open door where Rodney was standing in near darkness, clutching the orb he had brought back from the planet. The haunted look in Rodney's eyes almost broke him and he stepped forward, the whispered words still not fully registering in his mind.
“What's in the orb Rodney?”
“My shame...” Rodney whispered, letting the orb roll along the ground toward Sheppard. “You deserve to see it, to see what a mess I am... and why I'm leaving the team. Hold it and think about me.” He turned suddenly and vanished back into the darkness, a flash of light appearing for a moment as the door to his quarters opened and then shut. Sheppard bent down and picked the small orb up, knowing that he shouldn't look, he shouldn't do that to Rodney... a flash of light came out of the orb and he was suddenly standing in the white room again.
“John.” The panted word sounded needy and desperate as Rodney clung to his shoulder, shaking slightly.
“Shush Rodney, it's ok, I'm here.” John said, holding Rodney tightly.
“They killed Teyla... and I couldn't stop it...” The broken tone carried on, still needy and desperate as tears formed in Rodney's eyes only to wiped away by John.
“I'm here.” John promised, giving Rodney a soft kiss, pressing against Rodney's lips for a moment before pulling away, staring at Rodney with sultry eyes.
“God, yes.” Rodney muttered, his voice breaking on the second word and John smiled, his hand slipping in between Rodney's robes, the smile increasing at the moan Rodney gav-
Sheppard dropped the orb, the loss of contact interrupting the recording and he stumbled away from it his eyes wide and his breath heavy as if he had been the one in the recording, instead of some alien using his face to seduce Rodney. He could feel the bulge in his pants and knew it wasn't just his breathing that thought it was in that room.
---
The door to Rodney's room opened silently, the darkness inside giving Sheppard no hint as to where Rodney was. He stepped inside, the door skimming shut behind him and almost hitting his heels. A faint light appeared in the room, giving Sheppard just enough light to see Rodney sitting on the bed. He moved forward and sat next to Rodney, the bed creaking slightly as he sat.
“Killing my friends didn't work. So they tried to break me with kindness.” Rodney said softly, staring at a spot to the left of Sheppard.
“Don't let them.” Sheppard answered just as softly, lifting a hand and resting it against Rodney's cheek. “Don't leave the team.”
They sat in silence after that, their breathing heavy in the near dark, Sheppard's hand still lightly touching Rodney's skin – he didn't think he could remove it, even if he wanted to. A sigh escaped Rodney and he turned to look fully at Sheppard, the hand brushing along his skin.
“Stop bring kind.” Rodney begged and Sheppard felt himself shatter, just a little bit – because they both knew he couldn't stop, couldn't walk away. He cupped Rodney's face in his hands, feeling the desperation and fear but unable to do anything to stop himself. He knew Rodney could stop this if he really wanted to. Just as he knew Rodney wouldn't. And knew it was going to ruin them both.
::fin::
Title: Break Me Kindly
Author:
sethozCharacters/Pairing: McKay/Sheppard, McKay/Other
Rating: UK 18 - for hints of NON-CON
Words: 1973
Genre: Angst/Dark
Notes: Has HINTS of NON-CON, implied more than seen. And there is some doubt as to if it's actually non-con...
EDIT: Has now been beta-ed. Thanks to
klo_the_hobbit for being my beta.Summary: They tried threats, violence, hurting those he cared about but sometimes the thing that breaks you is kindness...
It was locked.
This was the first door he had come across in the complex that was locked and in his experience when people locked doors it was because they wanted to either protect the thing inside or they didn't want the thing inside to leave. Sheppard was hoping it was the latter as he raised his P-90 and fired several rounds into the lock before kicking the door open, watching with some satisfaction as it creaked and groaned, then fell down.
“Rodney?” Sheppard called as he stepped inside, scanning the room. White. Just like every other damn room in the place. White walls, four white orbs in the corners, a white bed and on the white bed, dressed in white robes... Rodney McKay.
Who was staring at John Sheppard as if he had just seen a ghost.
Sheppard stepped forward, his weapon still held in his hands as he scanning his team mate for any obvious injuries. There was some bruising on his wrists and face, as if someone had restrained him and Sheppard felt his blood pressure rising as Rodney tried to back away from Sheppard as if scared. He wanted to go back in time and kill the Nichen's again, but this time with the knowledge that they had definately done... something to Rodney.
“Rodney? It's me, Sheppard, we've come to get you out.” Sheppard said softly, looking over his shoulder to see if any more of the Nichen fighters were coming. Rodney laughed, a high pitched, keening laugh as if he had just stepped forward to look at his own death. It wasn't a nice sound and an uneasy feeling took up residence in Sheppard's gut as his head whipped back to stare at Rodney who was staring right back, his eyes bright.
“McKay?” Sheppard asked, the word saying everything he needed it too. What happened to you? What did they do? Who do I need to kill? How can I make it better? The laughter stopped suddenly and Rodney stilled, staring at Sheppard with an almost transfixed look before nodding and getting off the bed.
“Can we go home?” He asked quietly, speaking for the first time. Stunned by the sudden change in Rodney's manner, Sheppard could only nod as he felt his throat tighten. Those bastards had done something to Rodney... but what?
Getting into the lab where they had heard the Nichens were keeping Rodney captive had been the easy part. The fighters guarding the building had been few and the scientists no real match for an Atlantis strike team. It seemed however that at least one had managed to raise the alarm because by the time Major Sheppard and Rodney McKay left the room, there were fighters waiting for them.
“Be careful!” Rodney yelled as Sheppard exchanged bullets with some of them. “If they get close enough to you they can change into people you know.” There was an odd tone in Rodney's voice and Sheppard had to use every once of his will power not to turn round and ask who they had made Rodney see. The last Nichen in front of them fell to the ground and Sheppard relaxed slightly. He felt Rodney's hand rest on his hip and then slid lower before plucking his Beretta out of its holster and pulling it away.
Panic stricken, Sheppard turned, his hand reaching out for the gun as Rodney aimed it behind them and fired. A Nichen made a gurgling sound before slumping to the ground from where he had been trying to sneak up on them. The entire exchange had taken place in a few seconds and then Rodney turned back to him and empty expression on his face as he clutching the weapon tightly.
“You need someone watching your back.” He said horsely and Sheppard frowned before giving a reluctant nod. Still, as soon as they met up with any of the others, he was taking that gun back. The two crept forward, scanning every junction carefully.
“Lt. Ford, do you copy?” Sheppard hissed into his radio.
“Ford here sir.”
“I've got McKay he's... walking. Meet us at the main entrance.”
“Understood sir. Ford out.” The radio clicked a final time, the joy in Ford's voice clear. Sheppard turned his head to speak to Rodney – and felt the butt of the gun smash across the side of his head. Groaning he sank to the floor, a dazed look on his face as his arm flapped for a second. Rodney bent down, his fingers pressing against Sheppard's neck for a moment, feeling for a pulse and then the warmth had pulled away and Rodney was running, his feet padding on the ground as he vanished round the corner.
Groaning again, Sheppard forced himself upright, holding a hand against his head. Cursing quietly he stumbled to his feet and jogged after Rodney, the worry increasing with every step. What the hell was going on in Rodney's head?
A single gunshot sounded and Sheppard forced himself to move faster as a second gunshot fired and then another. He spotted an open door from where the sound was coming from and reached it, dreading what he would find inside.
Row after row of white orbs, like the ones in the room he had found Rodney in, lay shattered, some shot, some smashed and some ground under foot. In the centre of the devastation stood Rodney who was calmly shooting orb after orb. And in the far corner slumped the dead form of a Nichen, a bullet hole straight between the eyes.
“Rodney...” Sheppard said at last, forcing his dry mouth to speak. Rodney jumped and spun round to face him, the gun never wavering.
“I couldn't let them keep this.” He said quietly before turning away from Sheppard and picking up an orb, throwing it against the wall. Rodney stepped over to the dead body, Sheppard still standing by the door in shock. From the Nichen's hand, Rodney prised free the only remaining orb that was still intact and looking at it. Gripping it tightly he made his way back to Sheppard.
“I'm ready to go home now.”
“They, ah, could take on the forms of people you knew... during the day they would try and get me to help them and if I wouldn't they would drag out someone I thought I knew and kill them. They killed..” Rodney paused, his Adam apple bobbing furiously as he tried to get his emotions under control. From her seat by the bed Elizabeth Weir gave him a sympathetic smile.
“We don't have to do this all at once.” She said.
“No! No, I... I want to say it now, get it out while I can...” Rodney stammered. From his guarding position at the end of the bed, Sheppard watched silently, still unable to believe that after seventeen days of searching Rodney was back and besides the bruising around his wrist, face and lower abdomen he seemed unharmed.
“They... they killed you, Elizabeth, slowly, made me watch. But I couldn't tell them what they wanted to know. I knew it wasn't you... tiny details about the way you spoke and acted but it still sounded like you... they did that during the day and during the night...” Rodney trailed off again, his face becoming tight and pinched. “They left me alone during the night but they recorded me... they recorded it all...”
“Okay, Rodney.” Elizabeth said gently, standing up and placing a reassuring hand on his arm. “That's enough for now. Dr. Beckett says you can return to your room, but I want you to speak to Dr. Heightmeyer before you get cleared for active duty.” She told him. Rodney just nodded and Sheppard could feel himself himself tensing up even more. Rodney McKay never just nodded and agreed to do anything.
What else did they do to him?
... and during the night they sent you to me and even though I knew the others weren't real, I couldn't help myself, I let him touch me, let him make love to me... and when I found out... he didn't stop, not when I asked, not when I fought... not when I begged... he wanted satisfaction and he used me to get it... and they recorded it all...
The voice whispered across the night sky, to where Sheppard was standing by the balcony outside his room, staring out at the sea. He turned around to face the open door where Rodney was standing in near darkness, clutching the orb he had brought back from the planet. The haunted look in Rodney's eyes almost broke him and he stepped forward, the whispered words still not fully registering in his mind.
“What's in the orb Rodney?”
“My shame...” Rodney whispered, letting the orb roll along the ground toward Sheppard. “You deserve to see it, to see what a mess I am... and why I'm leaving the team. Hold it and think about me.” He turned suddenly and vanished back into the darkness, a flash of light appearing for a moment as the door to his quarters opened and then shut. Sheppard bent down and picked the small orb up, knowing that he shouldn't look, he shouldn't do that to Rodney... a flash of light came out of the orb and he was suddenly standing in the white room again.
“John.” The panted word sounded needy and desperate as Rodney clung to his shoulder, shaking slightly.
“Shush Rodney, it's ok, I'm here.” John said, holding Rodney tightly.
“They killed Teyla... and I couldn't stop it...” The broken tone carried on, still needy and desperate as tears formed in Rodney's eyes only to wiped away by John.
“I'm here.” John promised, giving Rodney a soft kiss, pressing against Rodney's lips for a moment before pulling away, staring at Rodney with sultry eyes.
“God, yes.” Rodney muttered, his voice breaking on the second word and John smiled, his hand slipping in between Rodney's robes, the smile increasing at the moan Rodney gav-
Sheppard dropped the orb, the loss of contact interrupting the recording and he stumbled away from it his eyes wide and his breath heavy as if he had been the one in the recording, instead of some alien using his face to seduce Rodney. He could feel the bulge in his pants and knew it wasn't just his breathing that thought it was in that room.
The door to Rodney's room opened silently, the darkness inside giving Sheppard no hint as to where Rodney was. He stepped inside, the door skimming shut behind him and almost hitting his heels. A faint light appeared in the room, giving Sheppard just enough light to see Rodney sitting on the bed. He moved forward and sat next to Rodney, the bed creaking slightly as he sat.
“Killing my friends didn't work. So they tried to break me with kindness.” Rodney said softly, staring at a spot to the left of Sheppard.
“Don't let them.” Sheppard answered just as softly, lifting a hand and resting it against Rodney's cheek. “Don't leave the team.”
They sat in silence after that, their breathing heavy in the near dark, Sheppard's hand still lightly touching Rodney's skin – he didn't think he could remove it, even if he wanted to. A sigh escaped Rodney and he turned to look fully at Sheppard, the hand brushing along his skin.
“Stop bring kind.” Rodney begged and Sheppard felt himself shatter, just a little bit – because they both knew he couldn't stop, couldn't walk away. He cupped Rodney's face in his hands, feeling the desperation and fear but unable to do anything to stop himself. He knew Rodney could stop this if he really wanted to. Just as he knew Rodney wouldn't. And knew it was going to ruin them both.
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Date: 2005-05-12 02:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-05-13 05:07 pm (UTC)ifwhen I did a third story, then I would fix them... *hides*Oh, that's fine. *g*
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Date: 2005-05-12 02:13 pm (UTC)lovely.
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Date: 2005-05-12 03:25 pm (UTC)Theres only a couple of little things need fixing, hopefully you got the email.
Oh poor little broken boys *wails and collapses in heap*
*klo*
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Date: 2005-05-13 04:08 pm (UTC)There, there. And yeah I got your e-mail, thanks again for looking at it.
*goes off to plot breaking them more*
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Date: 2005-05-12 10:11 pm (UTC)And I loved Rodney's destruction of all the orbs save the one that he wanted to keep -- a very human reaction, I think.
Awesome work, thanks for sharing!
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Date: 2005-05-12 10:20 pm (UTC)But I mean that in a nice 'hurts so good' kind of way!
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Date: 2005-05-22 11:23 am (UTC)But cute as well!
Poor lads. ::sniff::
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Date: 2005-05-23 05:03 pm (UTC)