Crucible, by kageygirl, for the ESP challenge

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

The "extra sensory perception" version...

Title: Crucible
Author: kageygirl
Rating: PG
Summary: What comes out the other side is the essential.


Crucible


It was spindly fingers of spun glass reaching in through his chest, piercing his gut with razor-thin shards of ice, clawing up into his throat to freeze his voice with pain and stillness.

John gasped, and took another step forward, shaking his head as if to throw off the sensation.

Next it was fire, burrowing into his stomach, burning his fingers down to raw exposed nerves, scorching away any hope that the torment would end. John hunched over a little, clenched his undamaged fists against the phantom pain, and took another step.

Hollow, aching emptiness, as if a pit had opened up inside him and was draining off everything good that had ever happened to him, that could ever happen to him, and that gaping wound hurt worse than the first two. John squeezed his eyes shut, forced his breathing to steady, and took another step.

Sheer pain, tearing and rending and searing, as if he were being shredded, torn apart, ripped in every direction, and it made him miss the void. He choked on it, focused on the low moan that turned out to be his own, put his head down and took another step.

Release, and he almost staggered with the absence of agony. He was shaking, muscles trembling, lungs aching, sweat pouring off of him, and when hands caught at his arms he flinched violently, but was too weak to pull away.

"Major?"

He forced his eyes open, and there was Rodney, eyes wide and face white and breathing a little fast, but uninjured, whole, apparently not a victim of any of the tortures John had been shown. John let Rodney keep him balanced, and curled his fingers too tightly around Rodney's forearms. He cleared his throat, but his voice still came out sounding like he'd swallowed gravel. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I only got--they let me feel echoes of it." Rodney's voice sounded tight, too, and he stared at John, searchingly, but John was too wrung out to do anything more than shake his head and let Rodney see whatever he saw.

"Next time you get taken, and there's a test to get you back? I'm just gonna let them keep you," John said, letting Rodney help him to the far door. Just then, he needed to lean on Rodney, needed to let Rodney hold him up, and from the way Rodney's arm was hard around his waist, Rodney needed it, too.

"Fair enough," Rodney said, with a quick, wry smile that chased the worry off his face for a second, and before he ducked his head, the light in his eyes told John that he didn't believe the lie, either.

Comments

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

ah, this is very intriguing. and i love this: ""Fair enough," Rodney said, with a quick, wry smile that chased the worry off his face for a second, and before he ducked his head, the light in his eyes told John that he didn't believe the lie, either."

that's a beautiful description of such a familiar expression. *g*

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

Thanks! This was pretty much just a bit of weirdness that wouldn't go away, so I'm glad you liked it. *g*

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

i'm glad it didn't "go away". *g*

[adelynne.livejournal.com]

Your imagery is so incredibly vivid!

Also, your icon is terribly appropriate. :)

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!

That icon (and this one, too) use the lyrics from a Stabbing Westward song, "Shame."

[sp23.livejournal.com]

"Next time you get taken, and there's a test to get you back? I'm just gonna let them keep you,"

And yet, he continued to take each step, knowing each one brought more horrendous pain, until he had Rodney.

Excellent.

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Well, of course he wasn't going to give up on Rodney, but he has to give him a little grief, too. *g*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

I guess we all felt the echoes of this agony.
"Next time you get taken, and there's a test to get you back? I'm just gonna let them keep you"
Yeah, right <3

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

::giggles:: Well, he has an image to maintain. *g*

image to maintain

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

I kinda suffered with J - until you just now gave me the mental image of Worf doing that Klingon pain thing and have me grinning.

[zoerayne]

Oh, yeah. This is just wonderful. The lengths John will go to for Rodney....
*is happy*

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

Yay! Happy is good. *g* Thanks!

[randommagic.livejournal.com]

Oh this was lovely, well not all the torture John goes through with each step obviously because you described that so well that I felt sorry for Rodney just feeling echoes of it *g*, but the fact that John would put himself through that for Rodney, and Rodney helping him at the end. :)

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. *g*

[kalikahuntress.livejournal.com]

I love seeing this side of John, the one who will do anything for his team and doesn't believe in leaving anyone behind. Thank you for posting this:)

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. *g*

[wickedwords.livejournal.com]

I loved that Rodney got echoes of what John was going through for him. Really excellent. Thanks.

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you! I'm so glad you liked it.

[nel-ani.livejournal.com]

Oooow. Owowowow.

I *loved* this. *is h/c whore*

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

I'm glad it worked for you, then. *g* Thanks!

[scribewraith.livejournal.com]

Fantastic. I love the whole depth between that you've conveyed so easily.

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you. I'm really glad you liked it.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Aww!

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

Hee, thanks!

[mousewitchy.livejournal.com]

"Next time you get taken, and there's a test to get you back? I'm just gonna let them keep you," John said, letting Rodney help him to the far door. Just then, he needed to lean on Rodney, needed to let Rodney hold him up, and from the way Rodney's arm was hard around his waist, Rodney needed it, too.

I love that John's knee-jerk reaction is to banter with Rodney, as if there's something comforting about it, and what I really love is that it's true--there is, for him. I also liked that John didn't just need to lean on Rodney, Rodney needed to let him.

I liked this, how their interaction is mostly nonverbal, spoken in code just underneath the surface of the banter. It's very, very true to the entirely subtextual relationship they have in canon.

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks, hon. I'm really glad you liked it. *g*

[cathexys.livejournal.com]

wow...that was painful and differnt and that last line restablished everything we know and love...thank you!

[ceares.livejournal.com]

Very nice. I've always loved the whole 'testing of the warrior'concept, especially when it's done for someone else.

[hajimebassaidai.livejournal.com]

The different experiences are horribly well described.

I liked that neither of them believed that John wouldn't go through that again to get Rodney back!