Amnesty Challenge - Pinpricks

[ladyjestyr.livejournal.com]

Title: Pinpricks
by ladyjestyr

Challenge: Amnesty Challenge; Darkness
Rating: G
Category: gen
Word Count: a teeny 600-word ficlet
Spoilers: Episode tag for 2x02, "The Intruder"
Summary: Even for an astrophysicist, stars aren't meant to be this close.
Disclaimer: Characters: not mine. Don't sue, I'm poor.
Notes: Originally a concept for the Darkness challenge, which mutated totally after seeing The Intruder. Unbetaed, since I'm still looking for an SGA beta and wanted to get this in before the deadline. [Which I've probably missed, but my time-zone-fu is weak.]

~*~

Rodney knows he’s babbling.

The F302 swoops past pinprick stars, weaves out of its pursuer’s sights, describes tight curves as Sheppard throws it around the sky. Rodney’s questions keep pace with the F302; what does that green flashing light mean? what happened to the inertial dampeners? At least his questions are relevant, he assures himself, and at least he hasn’t started asking any really uncomfortable questions yet.

Questions like “aren’t we getting awfully close to that sun, Major?”, which would only trigger a cool reminder about Sheppard’s correct title – like the man could let anyone forget – and careful nonchalance about the relevant, life-threatening part of Rodney’s enquiry. So Rodney bites his tongue, and wrestles his scanner out of a pocket pinned closed by the harness belt as the star gets closer and brighter. He can find out the bad news by himself – and does, watching cockpit radiation measurements rising far past the point where peace of mind was a fond memory and right into stomach ulcer and hypertension territory. Rodney suspects the rapidly-brewing headache is an early sign of the inevitable brain tumour. To be cut down in his prime by a brain tumour – how ironic. He can almost feel the brain cells dying already – he’ll probably lose at least twenty IQ points before Beckett and his team of witchdoctors will even accept there’s a problem. Rodney’s torn between wanting to live – at least long enough for the Nobel committee to reverse that idiotic statute about not awarding prizes posthumously – and stomach-cramping horror at the thought of living long enough to feel himself growing mediocre.

Mind you, Rodney notes absently as they swing around so the F302’s nose is aimed at the sun’s heart, it may be a moot point. The star is so close that its glare bounces off every shiny surface in the cockpit; Rodney’s definitely going to go blind from photokeratitis. He can see the spots dancing in his vision already. Blind and dying of a brain tumour, assuming Major – Colonel – Sheppard’s bravery doesn’t get him killed first, slowly roasted in stellar fires. Rodney is quite capable of risking his life in a plethora of noble and heroic ways, thankyou very much, but he’s not so keen on other people risking his life. The nameless star gleams unpleasantly, a bright golden ball of incandescent death.

The problem is, of course, that Colonel Sheppard’s right. He’s not risking their necks on pointless heroics, he’s executing the only possible plan to save the Daedalus. Which means that Rodney is even deprived of the satisfaction of pointing out every gaping flaw in Sheppard’s abysmally stupid plan. It’s only his growing conviction that he may as well use his spare brain cells now before they get irradiated into jelly that makes Rodney even bother to point out the danger they’re in.

“You did great back there, Rodney.” Rodney’s snapped from his contemplation of the most life-threatening tan he’s ever had by Sheppard’s sardonic amusement. The stars whirl crazily for a moment as the Colonel sends the F302 swooping back to intercept the path of the Daedalus, and Rodney watches the bastard, radiant, deadly star rise and set across the arc of the figh`ter’s canopy like a time lapse video. He forces himself to relax – deep breaths, in and out, in and out – and focuses blindly on the stars whipping past outside. Pinpricks again, the size they’re supposed to be, against the blissfully dark sky.

Rodney’s never been so glad to see darkness in all his life.

~*~

Edit: Archived at eleanorjane, which is my fic journal.

Comments

[minnow1212.livejournal.com]

Oh, very nice.

>living long enough to feel himself growing mediocre.<

Yes, that would be a huge fear for him.

[ladyjestyr.livejournal.com]

Yeah - I think he'd rather be dead than dense. :-)

Thanks for the feedback!

[rosewildeirish.livejournal.com]

ooo, nice. :)

[ladyjestyr.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :)

(So is your icon, by the way; I kept meaning to comment whenever I saw it. Mmm.)

[rosewildeirish.livejournal.com]

Thank you! liminalliz made it for me, and it's shareable. Just credit her, pls. :) She's fabulous with iconing.

[raveninthewind.livejournal.com]

Rodney's panicky hypochondria about the future in the face of imminent death is perfect.

[ladyjestyr.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :) It refused to be avoided once I started getting into Rodney-type headspace. *g*

[fenris_wolf0]

Excellent pont of view!

[ladyjestyr.livejournal.com]

Whee! :) Glad it worked okay.

[ladyvyola.livejournal.com]

Ah, that bastard Nobel committee!

[ladyjestyr.livejournal.com]

Yeah - most unfair. And given what Pegasus is like, probably a big crimp in Rodney's chances of ever getting one. ;)

[agentotter.livejournal.com]

That's wonderful, and you really hit Rodney's voice. I was particularly taken with the whole paragraph about the brain tumor, and the star rising and setting like time-lapse video. Awesome language.

[ladyjestyr.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It's my first actual completed fic in, oh, about three years, so I'm glad to hear it came over okay. Performance anxiety, and all that. ;-)

[alyse]

I really enjoyed this. Ss others have said, you really captured the rhythm of Rodney; the way that the words staccato and ricochet around inside his mind, and the fears that he has about being less then he is. I loved the bit about Beckett and his witch doctors, and the fact that even in the midst of his fear - probably because of his fear - he still has that essential Rodneyness about him that has him going off at a tangent about Sheppard's promotion.

Thanks for sharing :)

[ladyjestyr.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed! :) And yeah, I think the thing about Rodney is that he's smart enough that he doesn't /have/ to focus on the problem at hand to get results. Which is why he can snark as he works, in general, but it would also mean that no situation is really compelling enough to make him totally forget about the danger, and therefore make him forget to stress out. :)

[burningchaos.livejournal.com]

You so have him nailed...love this..stomach-cramping horror at the thought of living long enough to feel himself growing mediocre.

[ladyjestyr.livejournal.com]

Funnily enough, that's one of the bits that just flowed onto the page without me even thinking about it - or even polishing it much. Lucky me :)

[(Anonymous)]

At the risk of sounding boringly repetitive, I thought you did great getting into Rodney's head. *g* Great voice/internal monologue and visuals.

[ladyjestyr.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It felt 'right' as I was writing it; glad to know it came across okay, too. Feedback much appreciated. :-)

[canadian-snoopy.livejournal.com]

You nailed Rodney's voice, I think, and I loved the insight that he doesn't mind risking his own life but gets really annoyed when other people put it at risk for him. Too true, I think!

Wonderful job!

[ladyjestyr.livejournal.com]

That does seem true of Rodney, doesn't it? :) I wonder if it's because he trusts his own ability to do his job more than he trusts anyone else's to do theirs?

And thanks - glad you liked it :)

[canadian-snoopy.livejournal.com]

I wonder if it's because he trusts his own ability to do his job more than he trusts anyone else's to do theirs?

That sounds right to me. I'm thinking that Rodney would find it *incredibly* annoying to die because of someone else's screw up, which is probably why he is always working on so many projects -- he doesn't trust anyone else not to blow them all up ;o))))

Ahh, gotta love that obsessive personality eh? *grins*

[cetpar.livejournal.com]

This is great! Thanks.

[ladyjestyr.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! Thank _you_ for the feedback. :)

[foggynite.livejournal.com]

Oh wow-- What a wonderful Rodney voice! I could so see him freaking like that-- Forget the brain tumor for a second, what about mediocrity!?! I'm doomed!!!

Very amusing, and I like your details-- esp. with him not used to calling John Colonel yet in times of crisis ^.^

Hee.

[ladyjestyr.livejournal.com]

Glad it hit the right notes. :) Thanks!

[maisierita.livejournal.com]

This whole thing was a treat, but this part jumped out at me as being especially perfect:

Which means that Rodney is even deprived of the satisfaction of pointing out every gaping flaw in Sheppard’s abysmally stupid plan. It’s only his growing conviction that he may as well use his spare brain cells now before they get irradiated into jelly that makes Rodney even bother to point out the danger they’re in.

"Abysmally stupid" is such a Rodney thing to think, and I just adore the bit that he might as well use his brain cells while he has them. Hee hee.

Thanks for this. I hope it's not another three years before you finish another fic!

[ladyjestyr.livejournal.com]

One of the easier things about writing Rodney is that I tend to talk like that /anyway/. Sad but true!

And I have a few more fic ideas on the go; seems like SGA will be the fandom to light a fire under me ;)

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

ooo, pretty. and fabulously Rodney. The bit about the Nobel Prize? heh.

[ladyjestyr.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the Nobel Prize thing was just a random bit of trivia I read years ago, and it came back to me as I was writing this. Another good motivation for Rodney to try and live longer! :-)

[direaliete.livejournal.com]

Perfectly in character thought stream for Rodney :)

[delurker.livejournal.com]

Rodney’s snapped from his contemplation of the most life-threatening tan he’s ever had
Hee. This is great. I really loved it.

[coreopsis.livejournal.com]

Rodney’s torn between wanting to live – at least long enough for the Nobel committee to reverse that idiotic statute about not awarding prizes posthumously – and stomach-cramping horror at the thought of living long enough to feel himself growing mediocre.
Hee. You got inside Rodney's head really well.

[the-moonmoth.livejournal.com]

Nice little character piece. I love the whole thing, but the last scentence just ties it up so nicely. Good job :)