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sga_flashficEsteemed Colleagues by Purna (Documentation Challenge)
480 words
Rating: G
Summary: The gills are barely noticeable now.
Date: Wed, 13 Jul 2006 08:30:32 (AST)
From: Elizabeth.Weir@atl.sg.int
Subject: Esteemed Colleagues
To: Atlantis ALL
July 13, 2006
Memorandum
To: All Atlantis Personnel
From: Dr. Elizabeth Weir (signed)
Subject: Esteemed Colleagues
On Monday, July 11, 2006, we had the pleasure of greeting 19 new Atlantis personnel who arrived on the Daedalus. The arrival ceremony was followed by a reception, which quickly became one of the most exuberant celebrations that I've ever had the privilege of attending. I must say, I never knew there were so many boisterous bon vivants among us. I trust the high spirits and energy displayed that evening will now be channeled into productive scientific discovery.
Atlantis survived the celebration generally unscathed. Private Phillips and her team inform me that the conference room and surrounding corridors are completely dry now and that the scorch marks cleaned right up. Drs. McKay and Zelenka graciously offered their expertise to return the water supply conduits to their usual configuration. Once that task is completed, the shower situation will be resolved.
The men and women here in Atlantis were chosen for their ability to think outside the box. Certainly, I will never forget the creativity and ingenuity I witnessed that night, much though I might like.
I'll take this opportunity to assure everyone that Dr. Johanson and Sergeant Kravitz are fine. They are resting comfortably in the infirmary, and Dr. Beckett informs me that the results of the Ancient device are reversible. If anyone would like to visit them, be assured that the scales have disappeared and the gills are barely noticeable now.
I applaud the gracious spirit of information-sharing displayed by the veteran offworld teams, however, I'd like to clarify a few points that may have been miscommunicated:
1) Yes, space vampires exist. The sexually voracious poison ivy plants of M5L-431 do not.
2) See above for the planet of spunky Mary Lou Retton clones.
3) There is no such thing as "space clap." It is certainly not airborne.
4) When our Athosian liaison Teyla Emmagan offers to show you her sticks, this is in no way a euphemism.
I hope the above clarifications mean that Dr. Klein will now feel comfortable enough to remove the barricades from the entrance to his quarters. He really should have Dr. Beckett see to that eye, and the barricades are impeding traffic and will soon become a safety issue.
Let me also address certain enquiries I've received in response to the announcement that came late that evening. Wedding gifts for Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay would be entirely inappropriate, given that the ceremony was binding only on PX4-768. We'll say no more of this, and I'll remind everyone here of the Atlantean addendum to the code of conduct: what happens offworld, stays offworld.
I do hope our new arrivals are settling in well. Welcome, and have a nice day.
EW
480 words
Rating: G
Summary: The gills are barely noticeable now.
Date: Wed, 13 Jul 2006 08:30:32 (AST)
From: Elizabeth.Weir@atl.sg.int
Subject: Esteemed Colleagues
To: Atlantis ALL
July 13, 2006
Memorandum
To: All Atlantis Personnel
From: Dr. Elizabeth Weir (signed)
Subject: Esteemed Colleagues
On Monday, July 11, 2006, we had the pleasure of greeting 19 new Atlantis personnel who arrived on the Daedalus. The arrival ceremony was followed by a reception, which quickly became one of the most exuberant celebrations that I've ever had the privilege of attending. I must say, I never knew there were so many boisterous bon vivants among us. I trust the high spirits and energy displayed that evening will now be channeled into productive scientific discovery.
Atlantis survived the celebration generally unscathed. Private Phillips and her team inform me that the conference room and surrounding corridors are completely dry now and that the scorch marks cleaned right up. Drs. McKay and Zelenka graciously offered their expertise to return the water supply conduits to their usual configuration. Once that task is completed, the shower situation will be resolved.
The men and women here in Atlantis were chosen for their ability to think outside the box. Certainly, I will never forget the creativity and ingenuity I witnessed that night, much though I might like.
I'll take this opportunity to assure everyone that Dr. Johanson and Sergeant Kravitz are fine. They are resting comfortably in the infirmary, and Dr. Beckett informs me that the results of the Ancient device are reversible. If anyone would like to visit them, be assured that the scales have disappeared and the gills are barely noticeable now.
I applaud the gracious spirit of information-sharing displayed by the veteran offworld teams, however, I'd like to clarify a few points that may have been miscommunicated:
1) Yes, space vampires exist. The sexually voracious poison ivy plants of M5L-431 do not.
2) See above for the planet of spunky Mary Lou Retton clones.
3) There is no such thing as "space clap." It is certainly not airborne.
4) When our Athosian liaison Teyla Emmagan offers to show you her sticks, this is in no way a euphemism.
I hope the above clarifications mean that Dr. Klein will now feel comfortable enough to remove the barricades from the entrance to his quarters. He really should have Dr. Beckett see to that eye, and the barricades are impeding traffic and will soon become a safety issue.
Let me also address certain enquiries I've received in response to the announcement that came late that evening. Wedding gifts for Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay would be entirely inappropriate, given that the ceremony was binding only on PX4-768. We'll say no more of this, and I'll remind everyone here of the Atlantean addendum to the code of conduct: what happens offworld, stays offworld.
I do hope our new arrivals are settling in well. Welcome, and have a nice day.
EW
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 04:16 am (UTC)*dies laughing*
*rises*
*gasps again*
*g*
Deeeeeeeeee-lightful.
B
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 10:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 04:17 am (UTC)Awww...Opus and the others will be so disappointed!
This was great!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 10:50 pm (UTC)Thanks!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 04:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 10:55 pm (UTC)Glad you liked it! Thanks :)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 04:22 am (UTC)HAH.
This actually sounds very much like Elizabeth to me, gill references and all. ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:06 pm (UTC)Thanks!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 04:28 am (UTC)Thank you for this, it was a much needed giggle. I can just see Elizabeth writing this, shaking her head in that "how did I get stuck being a den mother to this crew?" way she has.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:16 pm (UTC)Glad it could make you laugh!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 04:29 am (UTC)what happens offworld stays offworld indeed
gills!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 04:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 04:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 04:30 am (UTC)Hee hee hee! Brilliant!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 04:37 am (UTC)Mary Lou Retton clones! ::snerk::
But my favorite line is the closer: Welcome, and have a nice day. Hee!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:20 pm (UTC)Anyway, I'm glad you liked it.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 04:44 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:26 pm (UTC)Thanks!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 04:48 am (UTC)There's a joke in there about beating them off with sticks, I know there is.
*collapses, giggling*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:39 pm (UTC)Your icon is...just. Hypnotic. I keep staring at it.
Glad you liked it!
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 04:52 am (UTC)LOL!!!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 05:05 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:41 pm (UTC)Thanks!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 05:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:42 pm (UTC)Thanks!
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 05:18 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:42 pm (UTC)Thanks!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:55 pm (UTC)Glad you liked it!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 06:07 am (UTC)Wedding presents indeed.
I was also amused to note myself flinching at the line about McKay and Zelenka. I feel that 'gracious' was perhaps not the word for their opinion on modifications to their city. Hee.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:56 pm (UTC)Thanks!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 06:07 am (UTC)Great :-).
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 06:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 06:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 06:21 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 06:37 am (UTC)I should just learn not to drink while reading LJ, my poor keyboard...
That was inspired :)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:58 pm (UTC)Glad it worked for you!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 06:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 11:58 pm (UTC)