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sga_flashfic.
And one more from Carson, because I can't resist tormenting the doc! With apologies to Monty Python. :-)
MEMO
TO: Atlantis Expedition Members
FROM: Dr. Carson Beckett
RE: Infirmary rules and regulations
Ladies and gentlemen, although I would prefer to treat you all as adults, the recent behavior of a few of your colleagues has forced me to develop a list of ground rules for the infirmary:
1.) Please report all important symptoms and injuries to the medical staff when returning from off-world missions. Saying “I’m fine” with blood running down your arm is not very convincing.
2.) By important symptoms, I do not mean dry, flaky skin or itchy feet.
3.) Please refrain from referring to the infirmary as a prison.
4.) While personal items may be used by patients, it is important that other patients in the infirmary not be disturbed by this. As an example, singing and playing prison spirituals on one’s guitar is not helpful for people trying to rest. (See also Rule #3 above.)
5.) Alcoholism is an important cause of vitamin B12 deficiency. Anyone caught smuggling alcohol to patients will receive a vitamin B12 shot right in the arse. So will the intended recipient.
6.) There is no Rule #6.
Above all, please use common sense. I don’t think it’s too much to ask.
- The CMO
And one more from Carson, because I can't resist tormenting the doc! With apologies to Monty Python. :-)
MEMO
TO: Atlantis Expedition Members
FROM: Dr. Carson Beckett
RE: Infirmary rules and regulations
Ladies and gentlemen, although I would prefer to treat you all as adults, the recent behavior of a few of your colleagues has forced me to develop a list of ground rules for the infirmary:
1.) Please report all important symptoms and injuries to the medical staff when returning from off-world missions. Saying “I’m fine” with blood running down your arm is not very convincing.
2.) By important symptoms, I do not mean dry, flaky skin or itchy feet.
3.) Please refrain from referring to the infirmary as a prison.
4.) While personal items may be used by patients, it is important that other patients in the infirmary not be disturbed by this. As an example, singing and playing prison spirituals on one’s guitar is not helpful for people trying to rest. (See also Rule #3 above.)
5.) Alcoholism is an important cause of vitamin B12 deficiency. Anyone caught smuggling alcohol to patients will receive a vitamin B12 shot right in the arse. So will the intended recipient.
6.) There is no Rule #6.
Above all, please use common sense. I don’t think it’s too much to ask.
- The CMO
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-29 04:36 pm (UTC)... And that is the point I cracked up.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-29 05:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-29 05:06 pm (UTC)Holy Cow! It's the Comedy Breasts!
Puritan Aunt: At home he sits on a spike.
Blackadder: Where do you sit, Aunt?
Puritan Aunt: I sit on his lap. Two spikes would be an extravagance!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-29 05:07 pm (UTC)ADMIN: please cut-tag!
Date: 2006-01-29 05:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-29 05:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-29 05:42 pm (UTC)Thanks so much for this!
:-) xx
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-29 06:34 pm (UTC)Bwah!!!!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-29 08:28 pm (UTC)Oh my good. Very nice! ^^
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-29 09:36 pm (UTC)please use common sense. I don't think it's too much to ask.
Carson, it clearly is too much to ask from this expedition. *g*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-29 10:21 pm (UTC)Re: ADMIN: please cut-tag!
Date: 2006-01-29 11:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 12:29 am (UTC)Thanks! Glad you liked.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 12:29 am (UTC)Re: ADMIN: please cut-tag!
Date: 2006-01-30 12:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 12:39 am (UTC)Thanks, glad you liked.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 12:40 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 01:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 01:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 01:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 01:09 am (UTC)And yes, each rule is aimed directly at its appropriate recipient!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 01:09 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 01:11 am (UTC)As an example, singing and playing prison spirituals on one’s guitar is not helpful for people trying to rest.
I'm thinking someone needs to tell John that he is neither the reincarnation of Johnny Cash nor suddenly channeling Joaquin Phoenix?
But then, given John's attitude towards the infirmary, maybe that's the point. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 01:51 am (UTC)That one gets me every time.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 06:21 pm (UTC)Hee! I think I've seen that happen...
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 06:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 06:26 pm (UTC)Don't tell John he isn't the reincarnation of Johnny Cash. Let him enjoy the illusion a little longer...
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 06:27 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:42 am (UTC)Thanks! It was like Carson was sitting beside me saying all this stuff.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-28 09:27 am (UTC)4 & 5 are definitely my favourites!