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sga_flashficTitle: Reasons Why
Author: RandomEliza
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Spoilers: events from "Inferno"
Word Count: 1007
Summary: Questioning everything is, at the heart of it all, Rodney’s raison d’etre.
Rodney McKay’s first word was “why?” His parents have conflicting memories of the event – unsurprising, as they have conflicting memories of every event – and he’s not sure whose story he wants to believe, but as far as first words go, he feels it set a standard for the rest of his life. At least, he’s glad it wasn’t something like “doggy.”
He knows he was one of those annoying kids who would respond to every carefully worded response with another question. Admittedly, while the kids on the Ritual Suicide Planet bothered the crap out of him when they couldn’t just accept a simple answer and let him work, Rodney sympathizes. He can’t help but remember being struck by the inadequacy of the impatient bastards who called themselves his teachers. “If you’re so gifted,” he remembers one yelling, “why do you ask so many questions?”*
“If you’re such a good teacher,” he shouted back, “why don’t you have any answers?”
That semester was the only time he’d ever gotten a D on a report card. His parents yelled at him for a full three hours when he brought it home – one of six occasions he remembers seeing them in the same room after his sister started school. Rodney sat nodding solemnly the entire time, calculating digits of pi in his head until his parents stopped yelling at him and started yelling at each other. Not once in the three hours did they ask him why he got the grade. Sometimes he wonders if he was adopted.
All he really wants, Rodney realized long ago, is a good answer to why things are the way they are. And since it has always been clear that nobody else in the world is equipped to give him one, he knows that he’s got to find it out for himself.
He knows what people on Atlantis think of him. Rodney is very much aware that he has minimal social skills, a terrible temper, and absolutely no tact. But along with that, Rodney happens to have answers. Of course, they aren’t the ones he wants – not yet, anyway – but when something breaks, Rodney knows how to fix it. If something goes awry – or perhaps, more inevitably, when something goes awry – Rodney knows why it happened, and how to put it back on track. He answers questions, he solves problems, and if people don’t like the fact that answers come with sarcasm and insults at no added charge, he figures they can ask someone else.
They don’t, usually. And Rodney is fine with that.
He’s not fine with them not asking at all. He likes being Atlantis’s answer man, no matter how much he complains when the question comes with a time limit of four hours after which they will all be subject to a fiery, painful death. Complaining about a situation like that is just logical, Rodney figures, and he’s very good at multitasking – he’s learned very rapidly how to complain and answer questions at the same time. Really, Rodney wants to be asked. Questioning everything is, at the heart of it all, Rodney’s raison d’etre. And it seems absurd to him that people do things without wondering why.
The military baffles him. He understands the need for security, of course, and he definitely understands the appeal of having large men with big guns protecting his work (and, by default, him) – but why anyone would choose to follow orders without question as a way of life is as close to beyond Rodney’s comprehension as anything is going to get. Asking why has become a reflex, and having to stifle his curiosity to serve a cause would, he is sure, make something very small but very important inside him shrivel up and die.
And every time he thinks about it, he thinks about John, who asks why almost as reflexively as Rodney does. He keeps on coming back to John, who has managed to keep asking it through years of military training designed, as far as Rodney can see, to beat the questions out of his soul. It seems that lately, every time he asks why, the answer leads him closer to John, who despite all appearances wouldn’t know an easy answer if it walked up and shook his hand.
John is a complicated question because he looks so simple.
Rodney understands the music of the spheres, from the frenetic vibrations of subatomic particles to the infinite dance of the cosmos. But John is a why he hasn’t answered yet, and if he’s honest with himself, Rodney might admit that he’s not even sure it’s possible. If Rodney were anyone else, he might be tempted to just stop trying.
But of course, that’s not going to happen. Rodney is very much aware that he doesn’t know when to stop questioning. And he’s pretty sure that John rarely knows when to stop, period.
Eventually, his hypothesis is proven correct. After the mission on Taranis, John pulls him away from the crowd of cheering refugees and into a storage closet just outside the bridge of the Orion. As soon as the light blinks hopefully on – because all Ancient technology is hopeful around John, for reasons Rodney has yet to figure out – John shoves Rodney against the door and shouts, “Four and a half seconds? You could only give me four and half seconds?”
“Hey, I got you an ancient warship!” Rodney shouts back, just before John’s mouth comes down on his, answering questions he’d never thought to ask.
“Why?” is the first thing Rodney says when he can breathe again.
“You got me an ancient warship,” John says, his body rubbing against Rodney’s in all the right places. He presses another kiss against Rodney’s mouth like an exclamation point, and then looks up at Rodney with wide, laughing eyes. “I mean, all the other girls just get flowers.”
“I shouldn’t have asked,” Rodney says, and tugs John back to meet his kiss.
“From you, I wouldn’t have expected anything else,” John says, lips curving against Rodney’s.
--end--
*The year before I got into sixth grade, the Honors teacher got demoted for asking why, if the kids were so gifted, they asked so many questions. I've heard other horror stories about her, but this was the worst. Also, document = report card.
Author: RandomEliza
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Spoilers: events from "Inferno"
Word Count: 1007
Summary: Questioning everything is, at the heart of it all, Rodney’s raison d’etre.
Rodney McKay’s first word was “why?” His parents have conflicting memories of the event – unsurprising, as they have conflicting memories of every event – and he’s not sure whose story he wants to believe, but as far as first words go, he feels it set a standard for the rest of his life. At least, he’s glad it wasn’t something like “doggy.”
He knows he was one of those annoying kids who would respond to every carefully worded response with another question. Admittedly, while the kids on the Ritual Suicide Planet bothered the crap out of him when they couldn’t just accept a simple answer and let him work, Rodney sympathizes. He can’t help but remember being struck by the inadequacy of the impatient bastards who called themselves his teachers. “If you’re so gifted,” he remembers one yelling, “why do you ask so many questions?”*
“If you’re such a good teacher,” he shouted back, “why don’t you have any answers?”
That semester was the only time he’d ever gotten a D on a report card. His parents yelled at him for a full three hours when he brought it home – one of six occasions he remembers seeing them in the same room after his sister started school. Rodney sat nodding solemnly the entire time, calculating digits of pi in his head until his parents stopped yelling at him and started yelling at each other. Not once in the three hours did they ask him why he got the grade. Sometimes he wonders if he was adopted.
All he really wants, Rodney realized long ago, is a good answer to why things are the way they are. And since it has always been clear that nobody else in the world is equipped to give him one, he knows that he’s got to find it out for himself.
He knows what people on Atlantis think of him. Rodney is very much aware that he has minimal social skills, a terrible temper, and absolutely no tact. But along with that, Rodney happens to have answers. Of course, they aren’t the ones he wants – not yet, anyway – but when something breaks, Rodney knows how to fix it. If something goes awry – or perhaps, more inevitably, when something goes awry – Rodney knows why it happened, and how to put it back on track. He answers questions, he solves problems, and if people don’t like the fact that answers come with sarcasm and insults at no added charge, he figures they can ask someone else.
They don’t, usually. And Rodney is fine with that.
He’s not fine with them not asking at all. He likes being Atlantis’s answer man, no matter how much he complains when the question comes with a time limit of four hours after which they will all be subject to a fiery, painful death. Complaining about a situation like that is just logical, Rodney figures, and he’s very good at multitasking – he’s learned very rapidly how to complain and answer questions at the same time. Really, Rodney wants to be asked. Questioning everything is, at the heart of it all, Rodney’s raison d’etre. And it seems absurd to him that people do things without wondering why.
The military baffles him. He understands the need for security, of course, and he definitely understands the appeal of having large men with big guns protecting his work (and, by default, him) – but why anyone would choose to follow orders without question as a way of life is as close to beyond Rodney’s comprehension as anything is going to get. Asking why has become a reflex, and having to stifle his curiosity to serve a cause would, he is sure, make something very small but very important inside him shrivel up and die.
And every time he thinks about it, he thinks about John, who asks why almost as reflexively as Rodney does. He keeps on coming back to John, who has managed to keep asking it through years of military training designed, as far as Rodney can see, to beat the questions out of his soul. It seems that lately, every time he asks why, the answer leads him closer to John, who despite all appearances wouldn’t know an easy answer if it walked up and shook his hand.
John is a complicated question because he looks so simple.
Rodney understands the music of the spheres, from the frenetic vibrations of subatomic particles to the infinite dance of the cosmos. But John is a why he hasn’t answered yet, and if he’s honest with himself, Rodney might admit that he’s not even sure it’s possible. If Rodney were anyone else, he might be tempted to just stop trying.
But of course, that’s not going to happen. Rodney is very much aware that he doesn’t know when to stop questioning. And he’s pretty sure that John rarely knows when to stop, period.
Eventually, his hypothesis is proven correct. After the mission on Taranis, John pulls him away from the crowd of cheering refugees and into a storage closet just outside the bridge of the Orion. As soon as the light blinks hopefully on – because all Ancient technology is hopeful around John, for reasons Rodney has yet to figure out – John shoves Rodney against the door and shouts, “Four and a half seconds? You could only give me four and half seconds?”
“Hey, I got you an ancient warship!” Rodney shouts back, just before John’s mouth comes down on his, answering questions he’d never thought to ask.
“Why?” is the first thing Rodney says when he can breathe again.
“You got me an ancient warship,” John says, his body rubbing against Rodney’s in all the right places. He presses another kiss against Rodney’s mouth like an exclamation point, and then looks up at Rodney with wide, laughing eyes. “I mean, all the other girls just get flowers.”
“I shouldn’t have asked,” Rodney says, and tugs John back to meet his kiss.
“From you, I wouldn’t have expected anything else,” John says, lips curving against Rodney’s.
--end--
*The year before I got into sixth grade, the Honors teacher got demoted for asking why, if the kids were so gifted, they asked so many questions. I've heard other horror stories about her, but this was the worst. Also, document = report card.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 10:55 pm (UTC)*LOL*
I love the take on Rodney
wantingneeding to be the answer guy.. I can so see this as motivation.Ps. the teacher sounds like a complete ass (both in the story and RL)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 11:34 pm (UTC)Anyway, thanks for commenting!
Why?
Date: 2006-01-30 11:29 pm (UTC)Re: Why?
Date: 2006-01-30 11:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-30 11:42 pm (UTC)Thank you,
~ Stormy
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 11:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 02:45 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 11:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 03:01 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 11:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 03:08 am (UTC)*siiigh*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 11:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 03:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 11:49 am (UTC)feedback
Date: 2006-01-31 04:10 am (UTC)Re: feedback
Date: 2006-02-01 11:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 04:21 am (UTC)made me go awwwwwww. *g*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 11:52 am (UTC)reasons why
Date: 2006-01-31 05:00 am (UTC)The ending was perfect, and so in character.
Also, this is an aside, but every time I see your name my brain does weird things and I think of you as Randomzilla. Like Godzilla. It's totally bizarre, but if it helps, I really like Godzilla. *G*
Re: reasons why
Date: 2006-02-01 11:54 am (UTC)Anyway, thanks for reading, and for the lovely feedback! Everyone needs validation,
evenespecially Rodney.Re: reasons why
Date: 2006-02-01 09:35 pm (UTC)trying again - randomzilla icon for you
Date: 2006-02-01 09:37 pm (UTC)Re: trying again - randomzilla icon for you
Date: 2006-02-02 11:56 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 01:34 pm (UTC)Ohhhhh yeah. Indeed. People ask why we ship them, and all you have to do is point to the moments when Rodney gets John cool tech and John's eyes light up in a 'Isn't my boyfriend great?' expression.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 11:58 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 05:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 12:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 09:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 12:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 05:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-24 02:10 am (UTC)...she seriously deserved it
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-11 09:42 pm (UTC)this is a good story, but a great rodney's study!!!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-08-06 03:04 pm (UTC)