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sga_flashficTitle: The Very Secret Diaries... Atlantis Style!
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nickeyb
Rating: PG
Summary: Excerpts have come to light of the innermost thoughts of selected members of the Atlantis team. You have been warned :)
Notes: Crack-fic. I'm very, very sorry. Particularly, I apologise unreservedly tocassieclaire whose work I have shamelessly exploited respectfully homaged.
The Very Secret Diary of Major John Sheppard
Day 1
Found a cool underwater city. Didn’t drown. Met a hot scientist. Think I ought to try leaning and stretching near him, just to test the waters. Ha ha. Enemies killed: 0 Not good.
Still not in command.
Day 2
Found a cool rustic village. Met a hot alien babe. Knew I was bound to sooner or later. Seems to be sooner. Huh. Neighbours not so friendly though. Enemies killed: 0, but not through lack of trying.
Still not in command.
Day 3
Found a cool alien spaceship. Rescued hot alien babe. Yay – go me! Better not touch her though – Rodney would kill me if I tried anything. Enemies killed: 7. Enemies woken up: 5,476,592. Approximately.
In command. Oops.
What was I thinking?
The Very Secret Diary of Dr Rodney McKay
Day 10
Let the Major push me off a balcony today. He’s too cute to live. Actually, rather worried about that. Seems to have deathwish. Being invulnerable though, really cool. Being shot sort of tickles.
Am definitely smartest in the city. Go me!
Day 11
Went to Weekly Briefing. Was definitely smartest person there. Should save city more often, as it seems to lead to extra Jell-o.
Caught Teyla eyeing up the Major. Will kill her if she tries anything.
Day 15
Am worried my small hairy assistant is smarter than me. Impossible. Am definitely smartest in the city.
Not sure the Major is so cute when being eaten by bug though. Being dead doesn’t suit his complexion. See entry: day 10.
Day 17
Might have known alien space babe was too hot to trust. The Major won’t listen to me though, not even when I tell him I saw her hogging the coffee supplies. Enjoys playing with sticks too much. I’ll show him.
Still the smartest.
Day 20
Children are annoying. Next time my small hairy assistant can play with them. Wonder if I can persuade the Major to play with my stick instead? Have idea for game with Jell-o.
Foresee dark times ahead. Luckily am still smartest by far.
The Very Secret Diary of Dr Carson Beckett
Day 23
Met alien space babe today. Pegasus Galaxy full of them. Usually they fancy Major Sheppard. Damn his siren call.
Day 24
Most unusual. Alien space babe into me instead. Said, have you met Major Sheppard? Although Rodney will kill her if she tries anything. Thought she might be short-sighted. Offered her glasses.
Day 25
Explains everything. Alien space babe interested in my technology. Lure of shiny equipment cannot be denied. Damn its siren call.
Day 26
Nope, still into me. Can’t understand it. My dear old Mum would have conniptions. Must test alien space babe for disorders of the brain.
Day 27
Just after hot alien space vampire, after all. Damn their siren call.
Day 30
Nope. Still into me. Am starting to believe it.
Day 31
Might have known. Mum is always right. Alien space babe died. Unnecessarily too. Told her I was going to perfect serum, but duty came first. Damn its siren call.
Day 32
Bollocks.
The Very Secret Diary of Dr Kavanagh
Day 42
Still can’t believe I agreed to come. Must learn not to have drinking competitions with supervisors, although fat chance of that here. Ideas belittled again.
Stupid McKay.
Day 43
McKay still worst team leader in the galaxy. ‘Small hairy assistant’s ideas are almost worthwhile.’ Blatant favouritism most annoying.
Stupid Zelenka.
Day 44
McKay nearly blew up Atlantis today. Stupid city. Stupid storm. Stupid Genii.
Think Kolya fancies Major Sheppard. Huh. McKay will kill him if he tries anything.
Being evacuated sucks.
Day 45
Laptop gone missing in the evacuation. Have told colleagues that really important research is on it. Was laughed at. Will take grievance to Dr Weir.
Later.
Stupid Weir.
I want to go home.
Author:
nickeybRating: PG
Summary: Excerpts have come to light of the innermost thoughts of selected members of the Atlantis team. You have been warned :)
Notes: Crack-fic. I'm very, very sorry. Particularly, I apologise unreservedly to
cassieclaire whose work I have The Very Secret Diary of Major John Sheppard
Day 1
Found a cool underwater city. Didn’t drown. Met a hot scientist. Think I ought to try leaning and stretching near him, just to test the waters. Ha ha. Enemies killed: 0 Not good.
Still not in command.
Day 2
Found a cool rustic village. Met a hot alien babe. Knew I was bound to sooner or later. Seems to be sooner. Huh. Neighbours not so friendly though. Enemies killed: 0, but not through lack of trying.
Still not in command.
Day 3
Found a cool alien spaceship. Rescued hot alien babe. Yay – go me! Better not touch her though – Rodney would kill me if I tried anything. Enemies killed: 7. Enemies woken up: 5,476,592. Approximately.
In command. Oops.
What was I thinking?
The Very Secret Diary of Dr Rodney McKay
Day 10
Let the Major push me off a balcony today. He’s too cute to live. Actually, rather worried about that. Seems to have deathwish. Being invulnerable though, really cool. Being shot sort of tickles.
Am definitely smartest in the city. Go me!
Day 11
Went to Weekly Briefing. Was definitely smartest person there. Should save city more often, as it seems to lead to extra Jell-o.
Caught Teyla eyeing up the Major. Will kill her if she tries anything.
Day 15
Am worried my small hairy assistant is smarter than me. Impossible. Am definitely smartest in the city.
Not sure the Major is so cute when being eaten by bug though. Being dead doesn’t suit his complexion. See entry: day 10.
Day 17
Might have known alien space babe was too hot to trust. The Major won’t listen to me though, not even when I tell him I saw her hogging the coffee supplies. Enjoys playing with sticks too much. I’ll show him.
Still the smartest.
Day 20
Children are annoying. Next time my small hairy assistant can play with them. Wonder if I can persuade the Major to play with my stick instead? Have idea for game with Jell-o.
Foresee dark times ahead. Luckily am still smartest by far.
The Very Secret Diary of Dr Carson Beckett
Day 23
Met alien space babe today. Pegasus Galaxy full of them. Usually they fancy Major Sheppard. Damn his siren call.
Day 24
Most unusual. Alien space babe into me instead. Said, have you met Major Sheppard? Although Rodney will kill her if she tries anything. Thought she might be short-sighted. Offered her glasses.
Day 25
Explains everything. Alien space babe interested in my technology. Lure of shiny equipment cannot be denied. Damn its siren call.
Day 26
Nope, still into me. Can’t understand it. My dear old Mum would have conniptions. Must test alien space babe for disorders of the brain.
Day 27
Just after hot alien space vampire, after all. Damn their siren call.
Day 30
Nope. Still into me. Am starting to believe it.
Day 31
Might have known. Mum is always right. Alien space babe died. Unnecessarily too. Told her I was going to perfect serum, but duty came first. Damn its siren call.
Day 32
Bollocks.
The Very Secret Diary of Dr Kavanagh
Day 42
Still can’t believe I agreed to come. Must learn not to have drinking competitions with supervisors, although fat chance of that here. Ideas belittled again.
Stupid McKay.
Day 43
McKay still worst team leader in the galaxy. ‘Small hairy assistant’s ideas are almost worthwhile.’ Blatant favouritism most annoying.
Stupid Zelenka.
Day 44
McKay nearly blew up Atlantis today. Stupid city. Stupid storm. Stupid Genii.
Think Kolya fancies Major Sheppard. Huh. McKay will kill him if he tries anything.
Being evacuated sucks.
Day 45
Laptop gone missing in the evacuation. Have told colleagues that really important research is on it. Was laughed at. Will take grievance to Dr Weir.
Later.
Stupid Weir.
I want to go home.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 08:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 08:34 pm (UTC)What was I thinking?
BWAHAHAHAHA! Poor John "oops!" indeed *G*. I love this - it's hilarious *G*.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 08:36 pm (UTC)Poor insecure ickle Carson.
Dear Dr Kavanaugh
We want you to go home too
No Love
The Entire Atlantis Expedition
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 08:43 pm (UTC)Heh, this was too, too funny and so cute! Felt kind of sorry for Kavanagh though.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 08:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 08:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:43 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 09:00 pm (UTC)ROFL This was hilarious.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:44 pm (UTC)feedback
Date: 2006-01-31 09:05 pm (UTC)Re: feedback
Date: 2006-02-01 03:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 09:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:48 pm (UTC)shameless stealingloving re-creation!(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 09:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 09:46 pm (UTC)LOL!!!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 10:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 10:18 pm (UTC)>Bollocks.
i think I hurt myself laughing
ten out of ten
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 10:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:54 pm (UTC)*feeds you more fic*
*grin*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 10:30 pm (UTC)This is awesome! I love the Very Secret Diaries and you've captured the style perfectly.
McKay will kill him if he tries anything.
*snicker*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 11:05 pm (UTC)WHOO! You pulled a Cassandra Claire. I love Carson's. Poor wee man. Didn't realize everyone in Atlantis was gayer than Christmas.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 11:08 pm (UTC)OK, I nearly hemorraged an internal organ trying not to laugh noticeably at work. Happy now?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 04:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 11:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 04:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 11:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 04:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-31 11:22 pm (UTC)Hilarious! And so true to the spirit of the original VSDs...
Dare I hope that these will continue? Please?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 04:10 pm (UTC)very secret diaries
Date: 2006-01-31 11:32 pm (UTC)Re: very secret diaries
Date: 2006-02-22 06:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 02:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-22 06:31 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 02:23 am (UTC)Here's a later entry of in Sheppard's diary:
Day 412
Killed creepy mutated teen Wraith today. Shame. For a Wraith was kind of a hottie. Kissed Telya today. Now afraid McKay will kill me. Am now turning into a creepy blue bug thing - but hair still looks good!
Still in command.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-22 06:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 02:35 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-22 06:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 03:55 am (UTC)Still the smartest!!! I need that on a tshirt, I could never pull off the prettiest one.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-22 06:37 pm (UTC)