Title: MVP (74k) Author: Speranza Pairing: Sheppard/McKay Postcard: here Summary: "All right, all right, nothing to see here," he heard Sheppard say. "You've seen one giant snake, you've seen 'em all."
Oh, this was some good stuff. I am awed. Disclaimer: This is freakishly long rambling and I’m a recent convert who has never seen one SG even though my father (!) has sung the praises---I doubt seriously he has any clue about slash at all, and I hope never to be disillusioned from that idea. I hope that my lack of canon experience doesn’t disqualify me as a respondent!
I’ve read through most of the comments, but stuff that I wanted to say kept spilling over the edge of my mind and I had to pause to sop it up into writing before it bubbled away. I find it fascinating that so many people view the story in so many different ways, and yet it’s all good.
Rodney was amazing in this throughout. Totally my interpretation, of course, but I didn’t get that either of them were in love in any *real* sense at the start of the physical relationship. I felt that Rodney had been unofficially pitting himself against John in the “who is more valuable, who is more popular” contest, and was amazed that not only did Rodney seem to be winning, that John wasn’t even in the race! Totally throws him off balance because, as a scientist, you know that things are relative and meaningful in context, and Rodney’s measurement of his worth is meaningless if everyone isn’t using the same yardstick. Anyone who has ever fought hard competitively and won and then realized the game was rigged would understand his discomposure.
This sent Rodney into a paradigm shift and I felt his digging though the records and obsessive observations of other people’s interactions was more about trying to solve a puzzle he couldn’t quite figure. The idea and acknowledgement that people other than Rodney are important to Rodney was somewhat of a shock to him. The idea that people RODNEY thinks are important are not considered so by others was an astounding concept. He had to investigate. Rodney thought John was valuable; why didn’t other people feel that way, John included? Then again, the more he looked, the more he was wondering, “why do *I* find John important?”
I don’t think he’d come to any real conclusion when John got the wrong idea and turned Rodney’s paradigm shift into a tailspin crash into another dimension. Gave Rodney a chance to see a different, more personable side of John that not only made him more attractive, but also more infuriating as the heroics and cheerful self-depreciation shone through not just in the professional world, but also private. I read the very apt and succinct comment of the “dead man walking” and agree wholeheartedly. And heartbreaking, with Rodney increasingly desperate during the narrative as he falls head over heels into love with a charming corpse.
John seems to be a total adrenaline junkie that gets off on being needed. He has to have it, in both worlds, and figures that being willing to risk himself physically is worth it. Plus, he’s a very physical “my body is a tool, and man is it fun” kind of guy. He likes it! Sure, intelligence is to be admired, and emotions are all well and good, but his body is how he interacts with the world on all sorts of levels. He trusts physical. (cont.)
The story swept me in, like Rodney was swept into John’s personal sphere. He wasn’t in love with John at first, but as his feelings increase, so does his spiraling anger at the world because he’s unable to get anyone to see what becomes so obvious to him. (No, not Rodney, he never gets frustrated by idiocy!!) And he’s even more pissed because he missed it himself for so long—the rant to Elizabeth felt a lot like him yelling at himself for thinking this way before he read the reports. If there’s anything he hates more than idiots is to be an idiot himself.
I was ripped up, for both of them, when John was begging Rodney to “do anything” to him if only Rodney wouldn’t quit the arrangement/relationship. And you shredded me again when the morning had John still with Rodney, though only by being tied down, and John admitted, oblivious to what he was putting Rodney through, that he didn’t want to fuck "this" up. I could almost see the stillness in Rodney as he absorbed and accepted that John didn’t and possibly wouldn’t ever see the relationship the way Rodney wished. By the end “you were everything” is the last thing he wants John to know, and yet I got a strong impression that it was tinged with a slight bitter resignation in Rodney’s mind that John would not acknowledge or understand what he meant.
The finale was also heartbreaking and sweet when Rodney is desperate to use words and terms that would mean something to John to try to clarify his worth. He’s stumbling and rephrasing, trying to emulate the reports and not personal feelings because he thinks John will understand that, John will get that, John will …. want that, even if he might not value Rodney’s need of him. And John’s revelation is like the dawn, gradual and undefined, but distinctive in breaking from the dark---quite the turning point. His acknowledgement that Rodney is right, that without John Rodney would be dead meat, is probably more meaningful to Rodney than any simply soothing “I love you too” would be. The epilogue was outstanding, even more so because of how quietly the world clicked onto the same page for the two of them.
Okay, this is overly long and not as concise or clear as I might have hoped. But the longer I poke at it, the more likely I am not to ever submit, and I want you to at least know that your work touched me.
Your talent and hard work deserve all the praise you’ve received and more. May the voices in your head continue to pester you into writing many more stories about pretty boys. Bravo!!!
Gonna try responding in brief here, because wow. I loved your analysis about the paradigm shift--the way that you're saying that it starts for Rodney as a problem of perception before it becomes a problem about a real person named John. I think you're bang-on right too about John's physicality, his sense of himself as a tool, a machine--a pilot is, after all, primarily an interface with a machine. If you're read the comments, you know that I don't think that either of them is in "love" per se when the story starts, but I think that Rodney does fall first, and it is a wonderful thing to see John suddenly understanding that this is NOT just a physical arrangement for Rodney, but an emotional one.
In any case, I'm so very delighted that you found the story this rich and interesting. Cheers!
I'm so glad you made sense of that ramble. *blush* A heavy set of pruning shears and some semblance of structure in that mess is obviously needed, even to my verbose eye. But I guess I figured you’d rather have observable, if messy, enthusiasm instead of discreet and silent appreciation..
Concise? Not my forte. But my heartfelt, nonsensical admiration is all yours for the taking!!
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sga_flashfic
The words, they tumble over .... part one
Date: 2006-05-28 03:51 am (UTC)I’ve read through most of the comments, but stuff that I wanted to say kept spilling over the edge of my mind and I had to pause to sop it up into writing before it bubbled away. I find it fascinating that so many people view the story in so many different ways, and yet it’s all good.
Rodney was amazing in this throughout. Totally my interpretation, of course, but I didn’t get that either of them were in love in any *real* sense at the start of the physical relationship. I felt that Rodney had been unofficially pitting himself against John in the “who is more valuable, who is more popular” contest, and was amazed that not only did Rodney seem to be winning, that John wasn’t even in the race! Totally throws him off balance because, as a scientist, you know that things are relative and meaningful in context, and Rodney’s measurement of his worth is meaningless if everyone isn’t using the same yardstick. Anyone who has ever fought hard competitively and won and then realized the game was rigged would understand his discomposure.
This sent Rodney into a paradigm shift and I felt his digging though the records and obsessive observations of other people’s interactions was more about trying to solve a puzzle he couldn’t quite figure. The idea and acknowledgement that people other than Rodney are important to Rodney was somewhat of a shock to him. The idea that people RODNEY thinks are important are not considered so by others was an astounding concept. He had to investigate. Rodney thought John was valuable; why didn’t other people feel that way, John included? Then again, the more he looked, the more he was wondering, “why do *I* find John important?”
I don’t think he’d come to any real conclusion when John got the wrong idea and turned Rodney’s paradigm shift into a tailspin crash into another dimension. Gave Rodney a chance to see a different, more personable side of John that not only made him more attractive, but also more infuriating as the heroics and cheerful self-depreciation shone through not just in the professional world, but also private. I read the very apt and succinct comment of the “dead man walking” and agree wholeheartedly. And heartbreaking, with Rodney increasingly desperate during the narrative as he falls head over heels into love with a charming corpse.
John seems to be a total adrenaline junkie that gets off on being needed. He has to have it, in both worlds, and figures that being willing to risk himself physically is worth it. Plus, he’s a very physical “my body is a tool, and man is it fun” kind of guy. He likes it! Sure, intelligence is to be admired, and emotions are all well and good, but his body is how he interacts with the world on all sorts of levels. He trusts physical. (cont.)
Re: The words, they tumble over .... part two
Date: 2006-05-28 03:57 am (UTC)I was ripped up, for both of them, when John was begging Rodney to “do anything” to him if only Rodney wouldn’t quit the arrangement/relationship. And you shredded me again when the morning had John still with Rodney, though only by being tied down, and John admitted, oblivious to what he was putting Rodney through, that he didn’t want to fuck "this" up. I could almost see the stillness in Rodney as he absorbed and accepted that John didn’t and possibly wouldn’t ever see the relationship the way Rodney wished. By the end “you were everything” is the last thing he wants John to know, and yet I got a strong impression that it was tinged with a slight bitter resignation in Rodney’s mind that John would not acknowledge or understand what he meant.
The finale was also heartbreaking and sweet when Rodney is desperate to use words and terms that would mean something to John to try to clarify his worth. He’s stumbling and rephrasing, trying to emulate the reports and not personal feelings because he thinks John will understand that, John will get that, John will …. want that, even if he might not value Rodney’s need of him. And John’s revelation is like the dawn, gradual and undefined, but distinctive in breaking from the dark---quite the turning point. His acknowledgement that Rodney is right, that without John Rodney would be dead meat, is probably more meaningful to Rodney than any simply soothing “I love you too” would be. The epilogue was outstanding, even more so because of how quietly the world clicked onto the same page for the two of them.
Okay, this is overly long and not as concise or clear as I might have hoped. But the longer I poke at it, the more likely I am not to ever submit, and I want you to at least know that your work touched me.
Your talent and hard work deserve all the praise you’ve received and more. May the voices in your head continue to pester you into writing many more stories about pretty boys. Bravo!!!
Re: The words, they tumble over .... part one
Date: 2006-05-28 03:58 am (UTC)Okay, now this is what I call a COMMENT
Date: 2006-06-02 12:52 am (UTC)Gonna try responding in brief here, because wow. I loved your analysis about the paradigm shift--the way that you're saying that it starts for Rodney as a problem of perception before it becomes a problem about a real person named John. I think you're bang-on right too about John's physicality, his sense of himself as a tool, a machine--a pilot is, after all, primarily an interface with a machine. If you're read the comments, you know that I don't think that either of them is in "love" per se when the story starts, but I think that Rodney does fall first, and it is a wonderful thing to see John suddenly understanding that this is NOT just a physical arrangement for Rodney, but an emotional one.
In any case, I'm so very delighted that you found the story this rich and interesting. Cheers!
*grin*
Date: 2006-06-03 10:03 pm (UTC)Concise? Not my forte. But my heartfelt, nonsensical admiration is all yours for the taking!!