Fic: How Was I To Know (For the left behind challenge)

[theladyofshadow.livejournal.com]

Title: How Was I To Know (For the left behind challenge)

Author: The Lady of Shadows

Pairings: McShep, past Rodney/Other

Rating: Pg-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing! SGA and the song this is based off of belongs to their respective owners!

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How Was I To Know

Rodney looked down on the water below him; he closed his eyes and lifted his face to the sun. Memories of the past flickering behind closed eyes. Brad, he had been so in love with the bastard. When he landed Brad as his boyfriend, he had been overjoyed. The man was brilliant and was gorgeous. Rodney’s world had ended up revolving around him. He believed in every promise that Brad had given him. He thought that their love was perfect. That it was forever.

Brad had been another up and coming astrophysicist like himself. They had so much in common then one day Brad had just walked away with no warning. Leaving him behind with a broken heart and his dreams of their future together . . . shattered into a myriad of little pieces.

For awhile he thought he had lost it all when Brad had left then he had been recruited by Stargate Command. It led him to realize that his love and devotion to Brad had hid the fact that he was stronger than he thought and that he could live without Brad. During their relationship he had, had this deep seated fear that one day Brad would leave him behind and that he would lose everything. Rodney opened his eyes and looked down at the water again, smiling. That fear was unjustified however, he had found out his true strength and he regained faith in himself. Of course he never learned how strong he truly was until he came to Atlantis.

He looked over at John and smiled at him. John and Atlantis had shown him his true strength. Yes, Brad may have left him behind, looking for greener pastures but Brad’s leaving him had been a blessing. It had left him the chance to love someone else, someone who treated him as a true partner and not a burden. When Brad left him, he left the path to Rodney’s heart open for John.

Owari

Authors Note: I was originally going to write this as a John breaks up with Rodney. Considering the reaction I had to It Don’t Matter and the demands for me to fix it I decided no to the John breaks up with Rodney. Instead I did this because I couldn’t think up of a sequel to my original idea and this one doesn’t need one. Here is the song that inspired this whole fic.


How Was I To Know
By Reba McEntire

My world revolved around you
Every word was a promise I was hanging on
Swept up inside a whirlwind
I just couldn’t see the end till you were gone
I thought I would fall apart
With shattered dreams and a broken heart
Scramblin’ in the dark

Chorus:
How was I to know
That I’d be O.K.
Thought I’d lose it all when you walked away
How was I to know

What I was so afraid of
Turned out to be my freedom in disguise
Now I know what I’m made of
Guess I just took some time to realize
I was blind and couldn’t tell
Put too much faith in someone else
I gave up on myself

Chorus

Chorus

Zha'hai'vallv'a

Comments

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

Very interesting fic. I could see this actually happening.

[theladyofshadow.livejournal.com]

Thanks. So can I.

[(Anonymous)]

Wow. This is really sweet. My first reaction is that I think your characterization of Rodney could really use some work; he has never been even remotely "hopeless romantic" and the entire fic suffers as a result because it feels like you're writing about someone other than the person you claim to be writing about.

I like that you think all relationships are building points for when we find the right person. But I don't think Rodney would have been "destroyed" by the ending of a relationship. He wasn't destroyed when Sam basically called him stupid and got him sent to Siberia, and we know canonically that Rodney's self confidence is based primarily on his intelligence; the idea that Rodney McKay's self-confidence could be so wrapped up in someone else as to have their leaving destroy him is not really comprehensible when compared to the Rodney McKay we know.

Your mention of Brad being another astrophysicist seems very on character for Rodney. He likes people with brains, definitely. Unfortunately, for the rest of the story it seems like you lost touch with who Rodney is--he's not the type to muse happily about true partnership, this is the guy who said roughly "let's make our move on the Athosian women before they figure out we're not cool!" in one of the first episodes.

It's cool that you get inspiration from a song! It is worth a mention at the end of the fic, but posting the entire song's lyrics felt like overkill.