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sga_flashficTitle: Logistics of a Closet Conversation
Author: Natroga
Pairing: Sheppard/McKay
Rating: Light R for lots of swearing and really bad innuendo
Challenge: This Is Not Happening Challenge
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing
A/N: So. This is me, popping my SGA-cherry. Also, it kind of figures that the longest one-shot I've ever written is for a flashfic challenge. Many thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
eledhwenlin, who graciously offered to beta after I terrorized my entire friendslist with this for nearly a week. ;) Post-ep for 2x19 Inferno
Summary: John hates the universe. He hates the universe SO MUCH.
This has “Bad Idea” written all over it. In flashing, bright pink neon letters.
You wouldn’t think it from looking at him (most of his COs certainly never did), but John Sheppard does indeed have quite a few … ground rules that govern his life. The two most important being:
1. Leave no man behind
and
2. Repress, repress, repress.
Granted, the first one has occasionally come back to take a quite spectacular bite out off his ass, but until very recently, good old repression has never left him hanging.
John’s repression has also never been up against someone like Rodney McKay, but mostly because John suspects that Rodney’s right, and that he really is one of a kind.
He’s certainly never suspected that someone who is as loud and there and look at me! as McKay is could be pretty sneaky when it came to other things. Like, say, worming his way under John’s skin until it feels as if he always belonged there.
John also made the mistake of thinking he could deal with Rodney like he deals with everything that might result in emotional turmoil: stuff it in a box, put a lid on it and bury it reeeeeeally deep.
Of course, keeping Rodney McKay firmly locked up in his box is damn near impossible when you’re trapped in a (definitely box-like, because the universe has a healthy sense of irony) sort-of-supply room *with* Rodney McKay, who is currently telling you very loudly that you are apparently a fucking ASSHOLE.
It was when they were flying back from Taranis on the Orion (his own spaceship! He had his own spaceship!) that things finally came to a head. So to speak. Almost as soon as they dropped out of Hyperspace, Rodney dragged him from the bridge and into an empty corridor, where he opened the first door he could find and shoved John inside.
“Oh my God, you’re such a fucking asshole, Sheppard!”
So here they are, with Rodney apparently furious and John’s firm emotional control is deserting him as fast as … something that deserts other things very fast. He’s never claimed to be particularly good at metaphors.
“Why, thank you Rodney. I like you a lot, too.”
No matter how many times it happens, Rodney turning that particular shade of purple will never not be funny.
“You … I can’t … Sometimes I just don’t believe you! I’m full of righteous indignation and you’re trying to get cute with me!”
John opens his mouth.
“And don’t you *dare* tell me you’re always cute!”
John snaps his mouth shut again.
“Thought so.”
Now Rodney looks smug, but he’s also clearly still angry and John knows that this is probably the only chance he’ll get to get this conversation over with, because he has a pretty good idea what this is about and he really doesn’t want to talk about it. Ever. But especially not now, because small box-like supply room equals complete and utter lack of personal space and Rodney is right. there. and kind of hot when he’s angry and his eyes are really really blue and John kind of wants to kick the universe in the shins.
He tries to take a surreptitious breath, rolls out his best “I’m a nice guy, seriously!” smile and raises his hands defensively.
“Right. Okay. You’re apparently angry…”
He decides to ignore Rodney’s sarcastic “Oh really?!” and forges on ahead, because the faster this is over, the sooner he can get out of here.
“As I said, you’re angry, and I think I have a pretty good idea what you’re angry about, so let’s cut to the chase: I’m sorry about what happened down there. You clearly liked her, and I interfered and I know that’s not how friends behave and like I said, I’m sorry.”
Rodney just stares at him open-mouthed, like maybe he’s about to go check for the pod under John’s bed, and for a few seconds John thinks he’s managed to do what every scientist in Atlantis dreams about doing. He’s rendered Rodney speechless. But of course John’s never that lucky.
“What … you … You always do this!”
John raises an eyebrow. He knows he shouldn’t ask, because it sure as hell won’t get him out of this conversation faster and that was the whole *point* of the goddamn apology, because he damn well can’t tell Rodney that he’s only flirted with Narina because he was so green with envy that he was almost disgusted with himself, but he really kind of wants to know.
“What is it I do, exactly?”
“You make me think that I’ve figured you out, and then you turn around and do the exact opposite. I had this huge big rant all laid out in my head and now it’s shot to shit because you can’t do what people expect of you!”
“You’re just venting for venting’s sake now, aren’t you?”
“Shut up.”
“Right.”
Rodney’s still glowering, but he’s crossed his arms and looks kind of deflated. John thinks that maybe Rodney was right when he called him an asshole.
“I really am sorry. You know that, right?”
Rodney takes a huge breath and when he speaks his voice is as quiet and sincere as John’s was.
“Yeah. I do. I should know better, but I do.”
“Great.” John claps him on the shoulder and tries to push past Rodney to get to the door, because he’s almost out, he’s almost survived this without letting *anything* out of the box when Rodney opens his mouth and asks the question John’s been dreading more than anything else.
“I just don’t get why! As you said, you knew I was interested in her, and she seemed to like me back and it’s not like you couldn’t have anyone. So why did you do it?”
John hates the universe. He hates the universe SO MUCH.
Rodney goes on about how he really shouldn’t be surprised, because he’s known Sheppard long enough to know that he has no control whatsoever over his impulses and John thinks that Rodney really has no idea, because right now pretty much all he notices is that they’re still practically wedged together, and that Rodney said “anyone” in that tone of voice and John feels giddy all of a sudden. And then he’s thinking shitshitshitshitshit and REPRESS! and then suddenly Oh, fuck it, and then he slides the hand that had still been on Rodney’s shoulder behind his neck, pulls him forward and kisses him.
When Rodney doesn’t kiss him back, Bad Idea gets upgraded to Worst Idea Ever, You Goddamn Moron.
So yeah. Bad Idea.
“Rodney, I …”
“Yeah, no. Shut up.”
“I …”
“Thinking!”
An impatient hand is flapping in front of his face, batting away his apology before he can even get to the good part. Rodney is kind of squinting at his head, as if trying to drill holes into his skull so that he can take his brain apart, because apparently it’s stranger than Ancient technology. After that he looks at John blandly for about two seconds, says: “Okay, done now”, and then there is a hot, wet mouth on John’s and there is tongue and yes yes yes.
When they come up for breath Rodney is grinning, a genuine, happy grin that John probably hasn’t seen since before Doranda and he looks kind of like he … well, like he just made out with his best friend in a closet and John is kind of having a hard time concentrating. But.
“I can’t believe you have the nerve to call *me* an asshole!”
“I’m not an asshole. I just like to watch you squirm.”
“Like I said: Asshole.”
“You love it.”
“Yeah, I kind of do.” And okay, wow, schmoopy, but Rodney bursts out laughing and, quite predictably, calls him a girl, but at least he still looks happy. And delectable. And somehow, kissing Rodney McKay just gets better.
“That was …”
“Yeah.” John really can’t understand why the hell they’re even still talking, but just as he tries to dive back in, Rodney puts a hand on his chest and gently shoves him back.
“We should probably get back. We can’t be that far from Atlantis anymore.”
John lets his head thump against the wall behind him. Right. He knew he’s forgotten something. Rodney smiles at him with a hint of ruefulness as he reaches out a hand to open the door when John’s hand shoots out and grabs his wrist before he can stop himself.
Rodney quirks an inquisitive eyebrow at him and John decides to just be casual about it. So he waggles his eyebrows and says: “When we get back to Atlantis, and if we have some time, how about you come by my room and I show you how great my squirming is when I’m horizontal?”
Rodney’s laugh follows him out of the supply room and echoes down the hallway, and John knows he’s probably grinning like a fool but he doesn’t care, because he knows he’s been wrong.
This was clearly the best idea he’s ever had.
Author: Natroga
Pairing: Sheppard/McKay
Rating: Light R for lots of swearing and really bad innuendo
Challenge: This Is Not Happening Challenge
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing
A/N: So. This is me, popping my SGA-cherry. Also, it kind of figures that the longest one-shot I've ever written is for a flashfic challenge. Many thanks to
eledhwenlin, who graciously offered to beta after I terrorized my entire friendslist with this for nearly a week. ;) Post-ep for 2x19 InfernoSummary: John hates the universe. He hates the universe SO MUCH.
This has “Bad Idea” written all over it. In flashing, bright pink neon letters.
You wouldn’t think it from looking at him (most of his COs certainly never did), but John Sheppard does indeed have quite a few … ground rules that govern his life. The two most important being:
1. Leave no man behind
and
2. Repress, repress, repress.
Granted, the first one has occasionally come back to take a quite spectacular bite out off his ass, but until very recently, good old repression has never left him hanging.
John’s repression has also never been up against someone like Rodney McKay, but mostly because John suspects that Rodney’s right, and that he really is one of a kind.
He’s certainly never suspected that someone who is as loud and there and look at me! as McKay is could be pretty sneaky when it came to other things. Like, say, worming his way under John’s skin until it feels as if he always belonged there.
John also made the mistake of thinking he could deal with Rodney like he deals with everything that might result in emotional turmoil: stuff it in a box, put a lid on it and bury it reeeeeeally deep.
Of course, keeping Rodney McKay firmly locked up in his box is damn near impossible when you’re trapped in a (definitely box-like, because the universe has a healthy sense of irony) sort-of-supply room *with* Rodney McKay, who is currently telling you very loudly that you are apparently a fucking ASSHOLE.
It was when they were flying back from Taranis on the Orion (his own spaceship! He had his own spaceship!) that things finally came to a head. So to speak. Almost as soon as they dropped out of Hyperspace, Rodney dragged him from the bridge and into an empty corridor, where he opened the first door he could find and shoved John inside.
“Oh my God, you’re such a fucking asshole, Sheppard!”
So here they are, with Rodney apparently furious and John’s firm emotional control is deserting him as fast as … something that deserts other things very fast. He’s never claimed to be particularly good at metaphors.
“Why, thank you Rodney. I like you a lot, too.”
No matter how many times it happens, Rodney turning that particular shade of purple will never not be funny.
“You … I can’t … Sometimes I just don’t believe you! I’m full of righteous indignation and you’re trying to get cute with me!”
John opens his mouth.
“And don’t you *dare* tell me you’re always cute!”
John snaps his mouth shut again.
“Thought so.”
Now Rodney looks smug, but he’s also clearly still angry and John knows that this is probably the only chance he’ll get to get this conversation over with, because he has a pretty good idea what this is about and he really doesn’t want to talk about it. Ever. But especially not now, because small box-like supply room equals complete and utter lack of personal space and Rodney is right. there. and kind of hot when he’s angry and his eyes are really really blue and John kind of wants to kick the universe in the shins.
He tries to take a surreptitious breath, rolls out his best “I’m a nice guy, seriously!” smile and raises his hands defensively.
“Right. Okay. You’re apparently angry…”
He decides to ignore Rodney’s sarcastic “Oh really?!” and forges on ahead, because the faster this is over, the sooner he can get out of here.
“As I said, you’re angry, and I think I have a pretty good idea what you’re angry about, so let’s cut to the chase: I’m sorry about what happened down there. You clearly liked her, and I interfered and I know that’s not how friends behave and like I said, I’m sorry.”
Rodney just stares at him open-mouthed, like maybe he’s about to go check for the pod under John’s bed, and for a few seconds John thinks he’s managed to do what every scientist in Atlantis dreams about doing. He’s rendered Rodney speechless. But of course John’s never that lucky.
“What … you … You always do this!”
John raises an eyebrow. He knows he shouldn’t ask, because it sure as hell won’t get him out of this conversation faster and that was the whole *point* of the goddamn apology, because he damn well can’t tell Rodney that he’s only flirted with Narina because he was so green with envy that he was almost disgusted with himself, but he really kind of wants to know.
“What is it I do, exactly?”
“You make me think that I’ve figured you out, and then you turn around and do the exact opposite. I had this huge big rant all laid out in my head and now it’s shot to shit because you can’t do what people expect of you!”
“You’re just venting for venting’s sake now, aren’t you?”
“Shut up.”
“Right.”
Rodney’s still glowering, but he’s crossed his arms and looks kind of deflated. John thinks that maybe Rodney was right when he called him an asshole.
“I really am sorry. You know that, right?”
Rodney takes a huge breath and when he speaks his voice is as quiet and sincere as John’s was.
“Yeah. I do. I should know better, but I do.”
“Great.” John claps him on the shoulder and tries to push past Rodney to get to the door, because he’s almost out, he’s almost survived this without letting *anything* out of the box when Rodney opens his mouth and asks the question John’s been dreading more than anything else.
“I just don’t get why! As you said, you knew I was interested in her, and she seemed to like me back and it’s not like you couldn’t have anyone. So why did you do it?”
John hates the universe. He hates the universe SO MUCH.
Rodney goes on about how he really shouldn’t be surprised, because he’s known Sheppard long enough to know that he has no control whatsoever over his impulses and John thinks that Rodney really has no idea, because right now pretty much all he notices is that they’re still practically wedged together, and that Rodney said “anyone” in that tone of voice and John feels giddy all of a sudden. And then he’s thinking shitshitshitshitshit and REPRESS! and then suddenly Oh, fuck it, and then he slides the hand that had still been on Rodney’s shoulder behind his neck, pulls him forward and kisses him.
When Rodney doesn’t kiss him back, Bad Idea gets upgraded to Worst Idea Ever, You Goddamn Moron.
So yeah. Bad Idea.
“Rodney, I …”
“Yeah, no. Shut up.”
“I …”
“Thinking!”
An impatient hand is flapping in front of his face, batting away his apology before he can even get to the good part. Rodney is kind of squinting at his head, as if trying to drill holes into his skull so that he can take his brain apart, because apparently it’s stranger than Ancient technology. After that he looks at John blandly for about two seconds, says: “Okay, done now”, and then there is a hot, wet mouth on John’s and there is tongue and yes yes yes.
When they come up for breath Rodney is grinning, a genuine, happy grin that John probably hasn’t seen since before Doranda and he looks kind of like he … well, like he just made out with his best friend in a closet and John is kind of having a hard time concentrating. But.
“I can’t believe you have the nerve to call *me* an asshole!”
“I’m not an asshole. I just like to watch you squirm.”
“Like I said: Asshole.”
“You love it.”
“Yeah, I kind of do.” And okay, wow, schmoopy, but Rodney bursts out laughing and, quite predictably, calls him a girl, but at least he still looks happy. And delectable. And somehow, kissing Rodney McKay just gets better.
“That was …”
“Yeah.” John really can’t understand why the hell they’re even still talking, but just as he tries to dive back in, Rodney puts a hand on his chest and gently shoves him back.
“We should probably get back. We can’t be that far from Atlantis anymore.”
John lets his head thump against the wall behind him. Right. He knew he’s forgotten something. Rodney smiles at him with a hint of ruefulness as he reaches out a hand to open the door when John’s hand shoots out and grabs his wrist before he can stop himself.
Rodney quirks an inquisitive eyebrow at him and John decides to just be casual about it. So he waggles his eyebrows and says: “When we get back to Atlantis, and if we have some time, how about you come by my room and I show you how great my squirming is when I’m horizontal?”
Rodney’s laugh follows him out of the supply room and echoes down the hallway, and John knows he’s probably grinning like a fool but he doesn’t care, because he knows he’s been wrong.
This was clearly the best idea he’s ever had.
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 03:22 pm (UTC)“I …”
“Thinking!”
Okay, that there? LOVE. LOVE! And it's so right from the episode, the attitude and everything. Wheee XD
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 04:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 04:31 pm (UTC)So cute and so true to the characters.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 04:51 pm (UTC);)
No seriously, that's one hell of a compliment. Thanks!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 04:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 06:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 05:19 pm (UTC)And Sheppard going REPRESS! in his head actually had me laughing out loud. And the "His own spaceship! He had his own spaceship!" bit, too, because. So him!
The whole fic was entirely too adorable and funny. (Also, small box-like supply closet settings are always kind of hot. :D) Thanks for sharing! Hope to see you write more SGA.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 06:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 05:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 06:44 pm (UTC)Glad you liked it!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 05:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 06:51 pm (UTC)Btw.: Huge Fan of your writing, I'm just incredibly shy about commenting in other people's journals. But seriously, *loves* right back. ^^
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 06:14 pm (UTC)"Yeah, no. Shut up."
"Thinking!"
Dialogue is love :)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 06:54 pm (UTC)Glad you liked it!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 08:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-20 03:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 09:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-20 03:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 09:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-20 03:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-19 11:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-20 03:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-20 01:11 am (UTC)hehe, soooo true to both characters
love it, sweet and funny at the same time
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-20 03:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-20 01:12 am (UTC)“Yeah, no. Shut up.”
“I …”
“Thinking!”
That's pure Rodney. Fun! :D
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-20 03:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-20 04:21 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-20 03:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-20 10:00 am (UTC)I love this, the John voice is great.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-20 03:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-20 11:44 am (UTC)Jo
Sorry for the anon, don't have an LJ account.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-20 03:43 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-22 11:10 am (UTC)and
2. Repress, repress, repress.
Oh man, that is so true. I like this lots--funny, and just the right level of sweet. I hope you write lots more in SGAdom. =)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-22 11:41 am (UTC)As for writing, I can't promise lots more, as I'm not a very productive person, but I am currently working on one for
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-23 03:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-23 06:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-30 08:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-30 10:28 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-01 03:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-01 03:23 pm (UTC)I'm so glad that horizontal squirming line came across as hilariously dorky, and did not just show that I'm incredibly bad at writing innuendo. ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-04 11:51 pm (UTC)This is beyond adorable and some of the best characterizations I've seen yet. I'm really just flailing incoherently with love over here.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-05 01:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-09 03:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-29 11:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-25 07:08 pm (UTC)Well done. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-04 12:06 am (UTC)Gonna have to plunder your journal for more stories after this.
"but until very recently, good old repression has never left him hanging." and "When Rodney doesn’t kiss him back, Bad Idea gets upgraded to Worst Idea Ever, You Goddamn Moron."
This was awesome beyond words: very very funny and quintisentially a flashfic: thank you for this!
(now I'm gonna go plunder your journal! /grin)