Lost in Waiting by Lacey McBain, NC-17 [Virgin]

[laceymcbain.livejournal.com]

Title: Lost in Waiting
Author: Lacey McBain
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~14,800 (I know!!)
Timeline: Set vaguely in the middle of S2 - definitely post-Runner, but with references to S1.
Summary: "You can’t have it both ways, Colonel. If you haven’t had any relationships, either you’re having the occasional one-night stand or you’re not having sex at all.”
Disclaimer: SGA doesn't belong to me. But you already knew that.
Author Notes:: torakowalski said she'd really like to see a realistic Virgin!John fic, and I got to thinking about it and couldn't stop. I tried my very best. This is for her.

On my webpage because it was too big for one post. Oops.

Lost in Waiting

Feedback makes me happy - multiple times. *G*

ETA: A huge thank you to everyone for reading and commenting. This is the most response I've ever had on a fic, and it's overwhelming in the best possible way. I usually respond to all comments, but I don't think I'll be able to this time, although I'll try to get to as many as possible. Thank you so much. ~Lacey

Comments

[bonehed.livejournal.com]

...sigh... thanks. I never saw John is this light before - but you made it absolutely believable. A great story!

[odannygirl7.livejournal.com]

This was wonderful, and lovely, and beautiful, and very, very good.

Also, I can totally see this interpretation of Sheppard.

Yay you!

[raucousraven.livejournal.com]

Harsh and sweet and lovely. Thank you.

[acari.livejournal.com]

This makes so much sense. Incredible.

[retrofit88.livejournal.com]

humm. Really, really liked this. Thanks a lot.

[stellahobbit.livejournal.com]

This was extraodinary, and one of the things I most love is John and Rodney having serious, heartfelt conversations in a fic. You delievered, and you made me very happy.

Well done on writing something that I could really believe.

[merelyn.livejournal.com]

Oh John. Wow. I really, really liked this a lot. A whole helluva lot. *in awe*

[bard-mercutio.livejournal.com]

I'm sure everyone's already told you how amazing and incredible this piece is, and oh, it so is. I love how Rodney is in this story, how gurff and right there and sometimes uncomfortable and sometimes tender, but always what John needs and how John is with him. Lovely. Definitely one of my favs.

[ceares.livejournal.com]

Wonderful! I don't read most virgin fics because I find the premise unconvincing, but this one totally worked. It was sweet and poignant and just lovely.

[sparklewitch.livejournal.com]

Hell of a good story! Just wonderful!

[bingeling]

Oh this is oh! You made me trembling in my gut and it's so totally sad and yet beautiful and amazing and all kinds of wonderful!

[aphelant.livejournal.com]

So. Good. :)

[califmole.livejournal.com]

Wow! This story was wonderful. It's such a hard premise to pull off, but you bring virginal John to life--achingly, heartbreakingly real.

Thanks for writing & sharing.

Thank you

[(Anonymous)]

Hello,

We don't know each other, and I am not a LiveJournal user, but I have been reading and enjoying your stories for the last few months, and "Lost in Waiting" moved me so much I finally had to break my shyness about commenting. With clean, spare, deceptively simple prose you create a gorgeously layered and devastatingly dead-on interpretation of John that I couldn't read without looking away at times, because it was hitting too close to home. You have become one of my favorite authors, and I feel privileged to be able to read your wonderful, insightful stories. Thank you for sharing.

Best,

DR

[amarin-rose.livejournal.com]

I liked it. *brain offline from too much wonderful storytelling to give a better review*

[floridapeaches.livejournal.com]

I love the flow of this, the way it moves through so many years and just a few days simultaniously. Also? Hot, hot, hot, and sweet beyond belief.

[no-detective.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was beautiful. So, so beautiful. I love your Rodney, and my heart aches for John.

[ship-recs.livejournal.com]

This is beautifully written.

[ciderpress.livejournal.com]

Oh, man. I don't really have any incisive feedback and lots of people have made the same points I wanted to make, which really is to say that I think you've written something that resonates with a lot of people. Heh. I will say this: I loved the pacing, the storytelling of this a lot and I thought that your John's quiet resignation and him mailing himself forward letters was possibly the saddest thing I've read in quite some time. It was a really lovely read, thank you.

[psycho-tabby.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed this fic. I thought you wrote the Rodney dialog really well. It was a very nice read. Thank you.

Lost in Waiting

[kiranovember.livejournal.com]

Fic doesn't make me cry. You can pour on the sentimentality, the smarm, the saccharine, you can have them hold new babies and I won't choke up. Not even deathfic gets a tear out of me. I can count on one hand the number of novels that have made me cry and at age 45, assuming a hundred novels a year on average... Have I made my point?

This, though, this made me cry. In public. At the library. I started about here and continued through the next few paragraphs.


“Not really. I mean, you don’t miss what you don’t have, right? Really not that big a deal except—except I felt stupid a lot of the time.” John stutters over the words and he wishes his voice didn’t sound like he was on the edge of falling apart. He’s never talked about this, and he certainly hadn’t planned to start in a jail cell on a planet in an alien galaxy with a concerned astrophysicist pressed against his side.


As a living, breathing forty-five-year-old virgin, I have to say that you really hit something here. I don't tell many people because it's none of their business. I talk about sex, I read about sex, I even watch it on tv, and most people never figure out that I haven't had it. Not even as much as John has in this story. I don't lie about it; I just talk around it. And the real kicker is that I was thirty-five before it ever occurred to me that maybe the reason I hadn't found a man is because I didn't really want one. I don't have strong religious convictions, I got over the idea of waiting until I was married, but it just never happened. I never let it happen. One time it was a simple as not wanting my first time to be with a guy I only knew by his nickname.

I just wanted you to know that from my point of view, you got this right.

[bluebrocade.livejournal.com]

Wonderful story. Terrific building of his background, making the virgin-aspect plausible and realistic. And how much do I love Rodney in this?

[purna.livejournal.com]

Oh, I loved this SO much. I never would have thought anyone could pull off a virgin John, but it totally works here. John's childhood is so sad and prickly and he's settled for never being happy, and then Rodney saves the day! I loved the conversations here.

[elliejane.livejournal.com]

You know, that was just really ....sweet and touching.

[ausmac.livejournal.com]

I've just read it and I have to say, it's a superb story. I am not normally a fan of present tense, but your writing method, of interweaving the 'look back' sections in past tense, broke the passages up nicely. And while I would normally find it difficult to accept a virginal John, your concept of a moralistic, rigid family life and John finding it difficult to touch, made it believable. Excellent story, much enjoyed.