Into The Woods (Exhaustion Challenge)
Jun. 16th, 2006 11:24 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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sga_flashficChallenge: Exhaustion
Title: Into the Woods
Author: Polaris
Category: Gen, Beckett/McKay pre-slash if you wish to interpret it that way.
Rating: PG
Summary: Rodney’s in Siberia, Carson’s in hell.
Notes: Set during “The Hive.” First SGA fic—concrit very much appreciated. Barely squeaking under the wire here, so not beta-read—apologies for that, finals week is not the best time to be writing fic with deadlines, but the idea was there.
How is he?
Asleep—finally. Mercifully.
The first few hours, Rodney’s sleep is hardly calmer than his waking moments. Carson has seen him sleep before; hypochondria or otherwise, Rodney spends an inordinate amount of time in the hospital. He’ll be dead to the world until suddenly he isn’t, bolting awake to scribble down something that he insists is of vital importance and the nurses aren’t allowed near it. Then his brain flips the switch again and he’s back in dreamland, which Carson thinks must be an interesting place for Rodney. This propensity for sudden wakefulness meshed easily with Carson’s prior impressions of Rodney, when he learned of it—rush, rush, rush, rest, more rushing, so fast none of them can keep up, leaving them all to follow and try to understand.
This is different. Rodney’s fretful even at rest, fingers clutching restlessly at the thin hospital sheet, which is already soaked through with perspiration. He wakes every now and again, so Carson doesn’t dare move from the bedside. There are innumerable tasks that need to be done, experiments and labs to finish, other patients to check on. Dr. Parrish wants to talk to him about some plant from M1K-439 that might work as a substitute for aspirin, so the Athosians can have their own supply. Caught in some dream or nightmare, Rodney makes a sort of quiet sobbing whine and Carson stays exactly where he is.
Has he mentioned anything about Sheppard and the others?
No, not yet. Our conversation was of a different sort. I feel not unlike the priest in “The Exorcist.”
“This is punishment, isn’t it? That’s what this is that’s why you won’t give me more enzyme!”
“It’s not punishment, Rodney. If we had enzyme we would give it to you—it would surely make you more bearable and believe me that would be preferable.”
“You’re lying—lying—you can’t send me to Siberia I am in Siberia—”
“Siberia? You’re in Atlantis, Rodney.”
“It’s all Siberia, you all sent me to Siberia you don’t listen you don’t trust and I can’t—I can’t—”
“We do trust you, Rodney.”
“Stop lying to me! You think I don’t know the truth, you think I’m stupid? I can see you see, you know!”
“What?”
Well, he’s through the worst of it. The nausea has passed, his pulse has returned to normal, blood pressure in a more reasonable range, considering his borderline hypertensia before taking the enzyme.
Good.
Carson has seen patients suffer strokes before—hell, he’s seen it in Atlantis, and this isn’t the first time he’s wondered more than idly if Rodney isn’t setting himself up for one. But while Rodney may yell until his face is as red as Carson’s Uncle James, who could shout the roof down after a bottle or two of whisky, Rodney’s never worked himself into a frenzy before. Logic says that it’s the enzyme doing this to him, but Ford wasn’t like this even with similar levels of enzyme in his system. This is Rodney’s own unique take on overdosing.
When he isn’t struggling, Rodney shakes, normally skilled hands trembling uncontrollably. It renders him ineffectual and he knows Rodney hates it when he’s lucid enough to do so. Carson’s seen this before, too, long before he was absorbed into the SGC’s ranks. The man rushed into the ER after he tried to quit a benzodiazepine addiction cold turkey, who went into seizures and died, frantic efforts of the medical team notwithstanding. It isn’t the first time in Atlantis Carson has been reminded of that failure, not even the first in conjunction with Rodney, watching Hayes die and looking up at Rodney with the sickening certainty that he was next and they were helpless to prevent it.
I hate to say it, but his stubbornness is probably what’s sustained him throughout the ordeal.
Hmm. We won’t tell him that, though.
Aye—mustn’t feed the beast.
Rodney is extraordinary in many respects, and one of them is that he is the most argumentative person Carson has ever known, and a doctor meets plenty of belligerent patients. He’s in and out of the Atlantis hospital almost more than Sheppard, so Carson has ample opportunity to observe the wild McKay in its natural state—one of almost imperialistic righteousness. Carson has been tempted more than once to wrangle somebody into leaving voodoo dolls around Rodney’s workstation; Radek would probably fall to the task gleefully, although Carson isn’t sure the Czech actually knows what voodoo is.
Carson has watched Rodney shred the self-esteem of his fellow scientists countless times, with a fair number of marines thrown into the mix. Rodney’s team and Elizabeth seem to be the only ones impervious to his sharp tongue, although Laura Cadman has developed a thick skin as well—and Carson has found himself wondering if she didn’t pick up a little of that belligerence while she was trapped in his head.
But Carson has also watched Rodney work himself to the bone to build a nuclear weapon, only to have his team-mate and friend fly with it into certain death. He knows that in another timeline Rodney worked until the water rose over his head to keep them all alive. And he knows that Rodney is fighting, that the vitriol is directed more at himself than anyone else, that Rodney hates being helpless more than anything. Rodney knows that he’s smarter than all of them, and Carson will bear the smug boasting later if that knowledge and the awareness of how much he is needed is what keeps Rodney from leaving them now.
No. You should get some rest. You look exhausted.
I’ll stay with him a wee bit longer—just to make sure he’s out of the woods.
It isn’t only that he’s concerned that Rodney will rebound, although having lost patients before to rebound effects has left him determined to prevent it happening again. That isn’t the reason he stays by Rodney’s bedside, loosely clasping Rodney’s one limp hand in both his own. Rodney’s team should be here, waiting for him to wake, but they are not. Carson’s presence is not what Rodney will want, when he wakes, but at least he won’t wake alone.
He drops Rodney’s hand less gently than he would like when he hears the door slide open. Elizabeth’s smile is tired the way it usually is these days, but Rodney’s improving condition seems to cheer her to such an extent that Carson would question her awareness of the seriousness of Rodney’s condition if he hadn’t been keeping her regularly informed for the past… how many hours has it been?
He doesn’t bother to watch Elizabeth go. Rodney’s sleep is not restful, and Carson does not intend for him to wake into uncertainty.
Carson? Nice work.
Thanks, Elizabeth.
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 06:56 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 09:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 07:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 09:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 12:32 pm (UTC)Thanks for writing and posting!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 09:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 01:27 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 09:43 pm (UTC)(Your icon is ADORABLE.)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 03:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 09:43 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 03:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 09:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 04:32 pm (UTC)This was so heartbreaking! Poor things! You captured Carson so well, and you can tell he has so much faith and love for his friend.
Rodney’s sleep is not restful, and Carson does not intend for him to wake into uncertainty.
Very intense and sweet. I really loved this fic. *smiles* And I agree with
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 09:46 pm (UTC)I like McShep, but I can't seem to get into Sheppard's head, and anyway there isn't nearly enough fic about the rest of the crew, most of whom I like a lot better. ^^
Slashy sequel definitely a possibility!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 09:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 07:37 pm (UTC)Beta: "Carson has ample opportunity to demonstrate the wild McKay in its natural state..." I think you want "observe", not demonstrate.
Also, I don't it's called the hospital, I think it's the infirmary. Not sure about that one. I think of a hospital as a free standing building.
And, yes, another vote for an epilogue to this story.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 09:49 pm (UTC)I wasn't sure whether to call it a hospital or infirmary; Rodney called it a hospital when he was raving at Carson but I probably shouldn't have based my assumptions in the rantings of a man in Wraith enzyme withdrawal.
Epilogue a definite possibility!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-18 12:23 am (UTC)I'll keep my eyes open for more of your work!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-18 01:34 am (UTC)Thanks!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-18 08:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-18 11:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-18 02:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-18 11:57 pm (UTC)L:ovely character insights!
Date: 2006-06-18 03:54 pm (UTC)Re: L:ovely character insights!
Date: 2006-06-18 11:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-18 03:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-18 11:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-18 05:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-18 11:59 pm (UTC)Thank you!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-07-03 03:51 pm (UTC)Enjoyed it!