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sga_flashficToo Much Information
Author: Rhiannon
Challenge: Bad Sex
Characters: the entire expedition
Pairings: Rodney/Elizabeth; Katie Brown/Chuck the Tech; John/Carson
Summary: Maybe “We Survived The Wraith Again” parties weren’t such a good idea, after all
Word Count: 870
Rating: R
Spoilers/Timeline: Season 2/3. Spoilers only if you consider the Wraith in general to be spoilers
Disclaimer: If I owned SGA, the series would be very different
Author's Notes: My porn Muse isn’t talking to me right now, so this is what happens – bad sex. Thanks to![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lvs2read for being my guinea pig, er, beta reading this.
Looking back, Elizabeth would blame it all on the latest batch of Athosian moonshine and the impromptu “We Survived the Wraith Again” party. If she ever looked back on the incident again.
~~~
It was a good thing that Atlantis didn’t need any designated drivers because Elizabeth was pretty sure there wasn’t a single member of the expedition who was sober. The Gateroom was filled with music someone had figured out how to play through Atlantis’s public address system, although she had to wonder who came up with the music mix. She suspected someone’s laptop was randomly playing every mp3 on the hard drive. Or else Radek had already had more to drink than she first suspected.
Part of Elizabeth cringed when she saw half-empty cups sitting on the Ancient consoles, while the rest of her was beyond caring. At least a few people were at the consoles, attempting to maintain the illusion of monitoring the critical systems. Although she didn’t think Katie sitting on Chuck’s lap, his hand up her shirt and her hand nowhere to be seen, was a part of the normal protocol.
Clutching her drink like some priceless artifact, Elizabeth very carefully made her way down the steps to the floor in front of the Gate, which by some unspoken agreement was the dance floor. At the bottom of the stairs she paused, mesmerized by the pulsing lights, until she felt a solid body slide behind her.
“Are you going to watch the pretty lights, or were you planning on dancing at some point?” a low voice slurred into her ear while a strong arm slid around her waist.
Elizabeth turned in place, finding herself pressed against an equally intoxicated Rodney, his free arm pulling her close to him. She smiled, taking a deliberately slow sip and licking her lips, watching his eyes grow wide.
“Why, are you offering?”
“I’m always ready to assist a lady in need,” he breathed, his lips brushing over the shell of her ear.
Elizabeth giggled and drained the last of her drink, leaving her cup on a nearby table before wrapping both of her arms around Rodney, urging him to do the same.
They moved onto the dance floor, joining the other bodies swaying in groups of two, three, and more. She watched Teyla dancing gracefully, taking turns with the knot of men and women that had gathered around her. Elizabeth absently wondered if she would look that good in a leather skirt. She decided Marc Lorne most definitely didn’t look as good as Teyla in a leather skirt. As she and Rodney wound their way through the crowd, she noticed John and Carson in one corner with Carson apparently performing a detailed exam of John’s tonsils with his tongue. She made a mental note to make the entire evening classified.
She and Rodney danced gracelessly for a few minutes, hands and mouths roaming over each other, before Rodney grabbed her hand and led her towards the transporter. They ended up outside Rodney’s room, groping and kissing like horny teenagers before either of them had the presence of mind to open the door and go inside.
They tumbled onto his bed, giggling, as they fumbled with each other’s clothes. Elizabeth pulled Rodney down on top of her, enjoying the feel of his bulky frame, then tried to ignore the need to breathe as he settled on her.
Rodney pulled away from kissing her neck, a familiar gleam in his eyes that usually meant he had made some scientific breakthrough.
“Hang on a minute. I have something I think you’ll really enjoy,” he said as he rolled off of her, opening the bottom drawer of his nightstand.
Elizabeth propped herself up on an elbow, curiosity aroused and watched Rodney fumble in the drawer. She didn’t see the triumphant grin as he pulled out a bottle of warming lubricant. Elizabeth stared, transfixed by the other contents of the drawer. She pulled out an object, a mix of amazement and revulsion on her face. She was holding what had to be the biggest dildo she had ever seen. Absently she wondered if it was even supposed to be human since it was as thick as her wrist.
“Uh, Rodney?” she asked hesitantly, still gaping at the object in her hands.
“Oh! Uh, that’s, uh...” he stuttered.
“Oh, hell no! There’s no way you’re coming near me with this.” Elizabeth examined the flesh-toned toy, morbidly amazed by the level of realism.
“It’snotforyou,” Rodney muttered under his breath.
“What did you say? Oh. My. God. It has a suction cup on the balls!”
“It’s not for you,” he repeated quietly.
As Rodney’s words sank in, Elizabeth dropped the dildo and stared at it like it was some alien parasite, which it was as far as she was concerned.
“I really have to go. I think I may be needed in the Gateroom.”
Elizabeth ignored Rodney’s babbling as she hurried to dress and make her escape. Once in the hallway, she made her way back to the party. Maybe if she had another drink or ten she wouldn’t remember anything in the morning.
Maybe “We Survived the Wraith Again” parties weren’t such a good idea, after all.
Author: Rhiannon
Challenge: Bad Sex
Characters: the entire expedition
Pairings: Rodney/Elizabeth; Katie Brown/Chuck the Tech; John/Carson
Summary: Maybe “We Survived The Wraith Again” parties weren’t such a good idea, after all
Word Count: 870
Rating: R
Spoilers/Timeline: Season 2/3. Spoilers only if you consider the Wraith in general to be spoilers
Disclaimer: If I owned SGA, the series would be very different
Author's Notes: My porn Muse isn’t talking to me right now, so this is what happens – bad sex. Thanks to
lvs2read for being my guinea pig, er, beta reading this.Looking back, Elizabeth would blame it all on the latest batch of Athosian moonshine and the impromptu “We Survived the Wraith Again” party. If she ever looked back on the incident again.
~~~
It was a good thing that Atlantis didn’t need any designated drivers because Elizabeth was pretty sure there wasn’t a single member of the expedition who was sober. The Gateroom was filled with music someone had figured out how to play through Atlantis’s public address system, although she had to wonder who came up with the music mix. She suspected someone’s laptop was randomly playing every mp3 on the hard drive. Or else Radek had already had more to drink than she first suspected.
Part of Elizabeth cringed when she saw half-empty cups sitting on the Ancient consoles, while the rest of her was beyond caring. At least a few people were at the consoles, attempting to maintain the illusion of monitoring the critical systems. Although she didn’t think Katie sitting on Chuck’s lap, his hand up her shirt and her hand nowhere to be seen, was a part of the normal protocol.
Clutching her drink like some priceless artifact, Elizabeth very carefully made her way down the steps to the floor in front of the Gate, which by some unspoken agreement was the dance floor. At the bottom of the stairs she paused, mesmerized by the pulsing lights, until she felt a solid body slide behind her.
“Are you going to watch the pretty lights, or were you planning on dancing at some point?” a low voice slurred into her ear while a strong arm slid around her waist.
Elizabeth turned in place, finding herself pressed against an equally intoxicated Rodney, his free arm pulling her close to him. She smiled, taking a deliberately slow sip and licking her lips, watching his eyes grow wide.
“Why, are you offering?”
“I’m always ready to assist a lady in need,” he breathed, his lips brushing over the shell of her ear.
Elizabeth giggled and drained the last of her drink, leaving her cup on a nearby table before wrapping both of her arms around Rodney, urging him to do the same.
They moved onto the dance floor, joining the other bodies swaying in groups of two, three, and more. She watched Teyla dancing gracefully, taking turns with the knot of men and women that had gathered around her. Elizabeth absently wondered if she would look that good in a leather skirt. She decided Marc Lorne most definitely didn’t look as good as Teyla in a leather skirt. As she and Rodney wound their way through the crowd, she noticed John and Carson in one corner with Carson apparently performing a detailed exam of John’s tonsils with his tongue. She made a mental note to make the entire evening classified.
She and Rodney danced gracelessly for a few minutes, hands and mouths roaming over each other, before Rodney grabbed her hand and led her towards the transporter. They ended up outside Rodney’s room, groping and kissing like horny teenagers before either of them had the presence of mind to open the door and go inside.
They tumbled onto his bed, giggling, as they fumbled with each other’s clothes. Elizabeth pulled Rodney down on top of her, enjoying the feel of his bulky frame, then tried to ignore the need to breathe as he settled on her.
Rodney pulled away from kissing her neck, a familiar gleam in his eyes that usually meant he had made some scientific breakthrough.
“Hang on a minute. I have something I think you’ll really enjoy,” he said as he rolled off of her, opening the bottom drawer of his nightstand.
Elizabeth propped herself up on an elbow, curiosity aroused and watched Rodney fumble in the drawer. She didn’t see the triumphant grin as he pulled out a bottle of warming lubricant. Elizabeth stared, transfixed by the other contents of the drawer. She pulled out an object, a mix of amazement and revulsion on her face. She was holding what had to be the biggest dildo she had ever seen. Absently she wondered if it was even supposed to be human since it was as thick as her wrist.
“Uh, Rodney?” she asked hesitantly, still gaping at the object in her hands.
“Oh! Uh, that’s, uh...” he stuttered.
“Oh, hell no! There’s no way you’re coming near me with this.” Elizabeth examined the flesh-toned toy, morbidly amazed by the level of realism.
“It’snotforyou,” Rodney muttered under his breath.
“What did you say? Oh. My. God. It has a suction cup on the balls!”
“It’s not for you,” he repeated quietly.
As Rodney’s words sank in, Elizabeth dropped the dildo and stared at it like it was some alien parasite, which it was as far as she was concerned.
“I really have to go. I think I may be needed in the Gateroom.”
Elizabeth ignored Rodney’s babbling as she hurried to dress and make her escape. Once in the hallway, she made her way back to the party. Maybe if she had another drink or ten she wouldn’t remember anything in the morning.
Maybe “We Survived the Wraith Again” parties weren’t such a good idea, after all.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-27 10:48 pm (UTC)Nicely done, chere. *grin*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-27 11:34 pm (UTC)Glad you enjoyed it!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-27 11:02 pm (UTC)(btw, that's a good thing.)
♥ ♥ ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-27 11:37 pm (UTC)I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for commenting!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-27 11:11 pm (UTC)And what is it with people putting poor Lorne into skirts lately?!?!
Now, do you share the name of the quality crack you're smoking? :-)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-27 11:40 pm (UTC)I didn't realize that Lorne in a skirt was a current thing. Honest!
Sadly, the only crack I'm on is Tylenol Sinus, coffee, and sleep deprivation. I wish I could blame this on something else.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-28 12:17 am (UTC)I swear I had a smiley face after it... but I'd just read this (http://hyperfocused.livejournal.com/176654.html) and it all stuck together.
Also, I'm seriously allergic to pseudoephedrine -- it makes my blood pressure double (and it clears up nothing).
Maybe that's what I need to take to write quality crack! :-)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-28 12:33 am (UTC)I'm taking the new formula, pseudoephedrine free, so maybe that's the reason.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-28 12:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-28 12:34 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-28 05:05 am (UTC)(you ALWAYS let the woman bring up the dildo. ALWAYS.)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-29 05:30 am (UTC)Rodney should also know to keep his...private...toys in a more private location.
Vanilla
Date: 2006-09-28 01:13 pm (UTC)Re: Vanilla
Date: 2009-01-05 12:38 pm (UTC)Also, there are just some things you don't want to find out about someone while drunk.
- Rhiannon
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-06 06:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-05 03:40 pm (UTC)Thank you for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it. The device I was thinking about actually does have a suction cup, so it will stick to the floor, and therefore can be single user.
I will never get that picture out of my head.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-02 03:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-05 12:31 pm (UTC)Thanks! It was fun to write. And yes, poor Elizabeth, finding the XL size while drunk...I'd run, too.
-Rhiannon
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-12 12:12 am (UTC)That has to be the greatest line ever :D
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-05 12:03 pm (UTC)Thanks! I loved writing this fic, and that line just popped in my head because it so perfectly described the entire fic.
Again, thanks for commenting!