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sga_flashficIII. I'm a bitch, I'm a tease; I'm a goddess on my knees. When you hurt, when you suffer, I'm your angel undercover.
~taken from the lyrics “Bitch” by M. Brooks, S. Peiken
“Listen to this one,” Rodney said exuberantly. “A blonde and a brunette --”
“Is this another one of your blonde jokes?” Sheppard interrupted. He powered the Jumper’s systems and glanced over at Rodney sitting across from him. “Because Carter’s more dangerous than your average blonde and I’d hate to have to replace you the next time she visits.”
“What is a blonde joke?” Teyla asked, her question practically a challenge.
Rodney’s cheerfulness faded and he and Sheppard exchanged glances that said she’s going to eat us alive now and it’s not my fault. Ordinarily, Sheppard would have explained the Earth-ism and Teyla would have raised her eyebrow and said something like, “Hair color has little to do with intelligence,” and it’d be delivered with a long-suffering smile.
But this wasn’t an ordinary day. This was day twenty-six out of about twenty-eight, and Teyla’s mood was far from patient and tolerant. She’d spent the last forty-eight hours biting everyone’s head off. She had brought irritability to new levels. And frankly, she scared the shit out of Sheppard. Her and her sticks.
Having a female on his team meant that there were certain allowances that had to be made. Her kit contained a couple of extra things. Elizabeth was the one that had broached the topic and handled Teyla’s introduction to Earth feminine hygiene products, thank God, because Sheppard wasn’t up to that conversation. But it was Sheppard, Rodney and Ronon that split duties in making sure their kits were stocked with her favorite things when that time approached, just to make life easier on everyone.
She liked Moon Pies, so every time the Daedalus arrived it brought a few boxes of the treat in supplies marked for “Dr. Rodney McKay.” She also liked foot massages with scented oil found only on Mangora, so Sheppard always had some acquired by whatever team was going on the monthly fresh fruit run. Ronon was the only volunteer to fight with her, providing her with an outlet for her aggression. Sheppard’s survival instinct wouldn’t let him.
Thankfully those months where Teyla’s serenity was viciously subdued and replaced by a hormonal version of what she’d been like on the enzyme were few and far between. It just sucked that this month happened to be one of them. Sheppard counted on Teyla to be the voice of reason, to be their diplomatic “best-foot forward” because she had a lot more experience with that than he did. But the mood she was in, he was worried she’d start a war or something.
Maybe he should’ve tried harder to find an excuse that wouldn’t have made Elizabeth furious with him. Saying, “I think Teyla might not be in the right frame of mind for this mission because it’s that time of the month, and she’s having a really bad one,” would’ve gotten him in the dog house and then some. Sheppard might not have grown up with a sister, but he wasn’t stupid about women. Clueless, definitely, but not stupid.
He cleared his throat self-consciously and said, “Just a type of joke. Trust me, on our world we tend to make fun of everybody.”
Ronon, the jerk, pressed forward, knowing perfectly well what was up. Rodney had been telling Ronon a lot of dirty jokes lately. “I’d like to hear it.” He grinned mischievously when Sheppard glanced over his shoulder and glared.
“Uh, maybe another day,” Rodney stalled. He found something in front of him to study. “We should really focus on the mission. If this goes well, we won’t need to worry about over-extending our Naquadah generators.”
“I am sure we have time.” Teyla smiled dangerously. “I would love to hear this joke.”
“Uh, Flight, this is Jumper One. We’re ready to go.” Sheppard ignored Rodney’s mouthed “thank you.”
“John, good luck and be careful.”
Sheppard cringed. Elizabeth had no idea how much of a curse that was. Every time she said that, they wound up in trouble. He might as well power the ship down and say, “This mission is cursed. I’m not going.” It’d probably save them all a lot of pain. Then again, that might earn him 48 hours under observation for acting a little paranoid. Cursed mission or infirmary?
“Roger that; you know we will.” Definitely cursed mission. There was always the off-chance they’d get lucky. Hey, it happened! He steeled himself then lowered the Jumper through the doors and into the gateroom.
Thankfully, the joke was forgotten. Or just maybe Teyla had decided to have mercy on them. Seconds later, the ship exited the wormhole on MX9-996 and Rodney began speculating on just how much Naquadah there might be on the planet. They were going to broker an agreement with the Gaesh people to gain mining rights for the precious ore. A survey team had discovered sporadic deposits leading out from the mountains about five klicks from the village. The leader, a man named Bandar, had agreed to open negotiations, but only if Atlantis sent Sheppard’s team to deal with the negotiations. They refused to do business with anyone else; Bandar wanted to deal only with the team he’d heard of on other worlds. Major Hasselbach hadn’t made any progress and had finally returned to Atlantis, briefing Elizabeth on the request. The Major was one of the new officers that had arrived via the Daedalus about four months ago and while he was competent, he wasn’t experienced yet in dealing with other cultures. His report did include a survey of potential dangers and it was close to zero, so that much was reassuring. Not that you could ever eliminate or predict the multitude of ways missions could go pear-shaped or what hidden hazards might be lurking to make the shit hit the fan.
Now, as they left the parked Jumper, Teyla stared suspiciously at the buildings and the smoke rising from chimneys. “I do not like this.”
“Your spidey sense tingling?” teased Rodney. At her icy look, he swallowed and said, “Maybe not.”
Sheppard could see people on the edges of the village watching their approach. He waved good-naturedly. “Wraith?” She shook her head. “I thought your people never had any dealings with the Gaesh?”
She shook her head a second time. “No, we have not. But asking for us, it is suspicious.”
So, he was kind of hoping she could give him a solid reason to call it off. Asking for them specifically was something he’d labeled as proceed with caution, but it wasn’t reason enough to walk away from a supply of Naquadah that they needed pretty badly. “Then we’ll keep an eye out, but we need this agreement. Now that our ZPM is depleted, all we’ve got are the generators keeping the lights on.” Sending the alternate Rodney home had come at a big price, energy-speaking.
Ronon stroked his gun. “Yeah, we’ll keep an eye out.”
Sheppard thought wistfully about locking both of them in a room. Teyla could take out her bitchiness on Ronon, and Ronon could fight with someone. Win-win situation. And generally when Teyla was on edge like this and had the chance to left off some steam, she was a lot calmer afterwards.
‘Course, they were on another world, and he didn’t exactly have a locked room to put them in –
“Colonel Sheppard!” Bandar greeted, jogging up to Sheppard’s team. “We’ve been expecting you! Ever since Major Hasselbach said that your leader had agreed to send you and your team, we’ve been waiting eagerly to meet you all!”
“Great,” Sheppard said, eyeing the guy through his sun glasses. “Well, that’s good. Then we can get straight to business.” The sooner this was done, the better. And keeping Teyla’s feelings in mind, Sheppard put extra effort into scanning the area around them. The village and the people. The only problem with “keeping an eye out” is that any society really good at duplicity was probably going to be able to hoodwink them no matter how careful they were. They weren’t omniscient. Uncomfortably, he remembered the Genii. It was dumb luck they’d stumbled upon that bunker. Then again, he supposed if they hadn’t wandered in to that bunker where they weren’t welcome, maybe a lot of trouble would have been avoided.
“Certainly, certainly, this way.” Bandar gestured at the dirt path leading into the center of the village. “We have refreshments waiting in our council room, and plenty of comforts to make this an enjoyable time.” He grinned and his jowls shook. “No need to make business unpleasant, yes?”
Rodney looked intrigued. “Refreshments?” he asked. “That would be food, right?”
His question seemed to make Bandar smile wider, if that was even possible. “Oh, yes. Dr. McKay, is it?”
When Rodney beamed and said, “You’ve heard of me?”
Bandar continued, “We’ve heard of all of you! The exploits of Colonel Sheppard and his amazing team are becoming legendary! Why, we’ve heard that you destroyed twenty Hive ships, blew up a solar system, and are the Ancestors come back to save us all! How could we not want to negotiate with the Living Legends of Lantea!”
Sheppard and Rodney exchanged looks and Rodney’s grin grew as he repeated, “Living Legends of Lantea – huh, I like it. Has a sort of ring to it, doesn’t it?”
“We are not Ancestors.” Teyla looked less than impressed. “And we have only destroyed five Hive ships”
Sheppard leaned over and said, “Seven if you include the two we turned against one another – that was my doing.” He made a flying motion with his hand and smiled cockily. That’d been one of his finer moments and some pretty damn good flying. “Remember, I started shooting the other one in a borrowed Dart. And then there was that one we’d captured that the other Wraith later destroyed…”
Teyla looked at him, paused for a long-suffering heartbeat, then turned back to Bandar and corrected, “Eight, then.”
Bandar’s effusiveness didn’t even dim an ounce. “Only eight, dear, and you make that seem less impressive, but I assure you, it is not! That is still eight ships that will not be culling the rest of us, yes?” He bustled them into a building. “There, there, take a seat.”
Sheppard had continued gathering information, noting everything that remained consistent with Hasselbach’s report. The buildings were simple clapboard. So, the Gaesh were advanced enough to not live in huts. He’d seen crops on the outskirts that looked thriving, so they weren’t starving, and anyway, Bandar’s bulk was testament to that as well. Most of the Gaesh seemed well-endowed from what he’d seen of the gawkers staring at his team as they were guided towards the building. No one was armed. He’d looked for telltale bulges under clothes just in case they were hiding weapons but he hadn’t seen anything.
Bandar himself seemed, okay, a little fawning, but was that really a bad thing? After getting greeted with swords and spears and guns, it was kind of nice for a change.
The council building was one large room, with three tables forming a U, and in the middle a small podium of scarred wood stood. They were guided towards chairs on the left side, and right after they sat, a woman entered bearing a pitcher while another followed with a tray carrying four glass mugs.
“Drink, drink!” Bandar encouraged. “Negotiations are always such dry, boring things.”
One of the women leaned over Sheppard, and he got a bird’s eye view of a very generous bosom. He tried to mask his gut reaction and he noticed he wasn’t the only one. Rodney’s eyes were focused in one spot and Ronon wasn’t even trying to hide his enjoyment.
“Thank you,” Teyla said coldly. She took the pitcher from the woman with a clear look of dismissal.
The woman pulled back, disappointed. Huh.
Before the one with the glasses could treat them to a similar view, Teyla took those, too.
“Spoilsport,” Sheppard murmured. She glared.
With a snap, snap! of his fingers, Bandar summoned more overflowing bosoms attached to women serving dishes of meat, bread and vegetables. Teyla’s already foul mood deepened as it became clear that on MX9-996, women were relegated to “serve me, wench” status. Of all the missions to run into this, it’d have to be now, when Teyla was not in the most benevolent of moods.
For the next five hours, Sheppard, Ronon and Rodney ate well and drank a lot – Bandar assured them it was a distilled cider that was entirely safe. After drinking the first glass slowly to make sure it wasn’t alcoholic, and feeling no effects, Sheppard relaxed and stopped holding back, nodding at the rest of his team that it was fine. Teyla remained aloof and wary. Sheppard tried to get her to loosen up; the Gaesh seemed harmless and it wasn’t like they weren’t armed. They had their weapons; eating and drinking wasn’t going to put them in mortal peril or anything.
She’d refused to budge, saying, “And choosing not to partake will similarly cause no harm as well. Colonel, I do not trust this man.”
“He seems fine, Teyla.” Sheppard hadn’t seen anything to worry him. But he wasn’t going to point out to Teyla that maybe a certain time of the month was affecting her mood, and just maybe she was being a little bit unreasonable and cranky.
“He is not trustworthy,” she insisted, before lapsing back into watchfulness.
Every now and then, when Bandar would encourage her to drink and Sheppard would give her a sidelong look reminding her to be nice, she’d raise her glass and grudgingly take a sip. A very small sip. From across the room, Bandar couldn’t see just how small, and he’d go back to smiling, pleased enough.
While they ate and drank, they worked. Sheppard offered items Atlantis could give in exchange for mining rights. Ronon ate and grinned. Sheppard and Rodney did most of the talking. Teyla occasionally interceded, stiffly disagreeing with terms Sheppard had thought were good enough. It wasn’t like Earth couldn’t afford to be generous, and it wasn’t like he’d begrudge these people extra supplies. They were Wraith food. Sooner or later, unless the Wraith were defeated, this entire village would be culled and eaten.
But, then again, it was hard enough getting anything useful out of other worlds.
Maybe he’d let Teyla keep arguing. At least getting involved in the negotiations had seemed to loosen her up. She was animated instead of remote.
First she said, “We do not trade weaponry,” which Sheppard agreed with.
But Bandar’s boisterousness didn’t even take a hit. “You understand, I had to try! My people are not fighters, Colonel. We simply rely on the good will of others.” The leader drank more, and gestured at a woman to refill Sheppard’s mug. “And it has served for many years before. I see no reason why it should not continue to do so.” The leader addressed Sheppard, doing his best to ignore Teyla and Sheppard could see her hackles rising more and more.
Sheppard took a long sip of his refilled drink and raised an eyebrow at Teyla that said relax, it’s nothing personal.
Then it was, “Sixty cases of medical supplies? That is robbery, Bandar! I did not know we were attempting to trade with thieves.”
Rodney, sensing his supply of Naquadah disappearing kilogram by kilogram as a scowl replaced their host’s florid smile, backpedaled. “Whoa, Teyla. I’m sure we can --”
“Rodney,” she said tightly. “Be quiet.”
“Sixty cases is not so much to ask for unlimited access to our precious ore!” argued Bandar, staring pointedly at Sheppard.
“But you did not give us unlimited access.” Teyla leaned forward on the table placing her body in between Bandar’s line of sight with Sheppard, her jaw set in a hard-as-nails line that he rarely saw.
Sheppard leaned back in his chair, surprised at how hot it was getting in the room. He unzipped his jacket and took another drink, making a face at the bitter taste it left when he finished the rest of the cider. Bitter…bitter… Something in his brain tried to get Sheppard’s attention, but he was quickly distracted by a woman leaning too close and whispering softly, “More meat?” He shook his head and felt a little dizzy.
“Ho, ho!” Bandar’s beady eyes finally narrowed on Teyla now that she’d given him little choice, and though he laughed, Sheppard could sense the animosity boiling underneath. “So I did not. Very well, one hundred cases for unlimited access for one cycle.”
Rodney nodded eagerly. “Yes, yes, that’s fine. When can we start mining?” He drank more and smiled crookedly.
A woman came close to the table, to pour Ronon another glassful, and he grabbed her, swinging her onto his lap, grinning like he was going to have her for dessert. Sheppard stared, surprised, then through a mind quickly growing muddled, told Ronon, “Knock it off.” They were on a diplomatic mission to Alderan, damn it, and his people would act like the ambassadors that they were, so Darth Vader could just stuff it. Er, wait – wasn’t that a movie? He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Rodney. “I’m not Obi-Wan, am I?”
When Rodney shook his head and said, “Not even close. You’re Captain Kirk.” Then Rodney grabbed his glass and downed the last of it. “And I’m Spock, watch me calculate. Although, you’re the one with the pointy ears and you are good at math…” He laughed giddily. “Oh, God, I think there’s something in this drink. I’m feeling…” he turned his eyes inward “reaaalllyyyy good. Like, no pain good.” He thumped his glass down and focused blearily on Bandar. “Hey, you, what’d you say this was made from? Cause I’ll give you twenty cases of whatever it was you wanted just for the recipe.”
Ronon tried to stand, forgetting about the woman on his lap. Sheppard watched while they crashed to the ground in a tangled pile of arms and legs. The woman laughed coyly and threaded her arms around Ronon’s neck.
“Hey big guy, forget how to walk?” Sheppard asked.
This shouldn’t be funny. Sheppard had alarm bells starting to ring, somewhere, only problem was, they were ringing from about ten-feet under water. “Hey,” he said to the pretty but mean looking woman sitting next to him. Teyla. Yeah, that was her name. “Something’s wrong…” Sheppard tried to stand, but his legs collapsed. He fell hard and tried to grab the table on his way down. Whoa, why was everything spinning?
“What have you done to them?” Teyla demanded.
“Nothing, I swear it.” Sheppard could see Bandar standing nearby as he talked. “Perhaps there is something in the Juki that affects them differently than my people.” His eyes shifted from Sheppard and Ronon, both still down on the floor, to Rodney, who continued to smile sloppily from his chair, and then back to Teyla. “Did you drink any?” he asked sharply.
“Very little,” Teyla emphasized frostily. “Do you have rooms for us? They need rest.”
Sheppard didn’t want to go to bed. He told Teyla so. He wanted to go back to Carson, because he wasn’t feeling so good. He told Teyla that too. She turned on him. “You must be quiet, Colonel.”
He remembered her sticks and her bad mood and shut up, but he felt a little grumpy because Han Solo never would’ve taken that from Leia.
She ordered Bandar around, and soon Sheppard found himself dumped on a bed in a room in the only inn Gaesh had. There were two beds, but they were wide enough for two, so Rodney wound up lying next to Sheppard and Ronon got his own bed, already snoring softly.
Everything was spinning, and he felt a little sick. Rodney rolled against him and realized he’d hit another body, exploratively patting Sheppard on the back. “What are you doing in my bed?” he asked, surprised when his drugged mind put together what his hands had found.
“Don’t know. Someone put me here.”
“Oh.”
Sheppard stared at the ceiling, trying to think. “Rodney?”
“What?”
“I think they drugged us.”
Teyla leaned over him. “I am sure they have.” She checked his pulse then his pupils before moving to Rodney. “What I am unsure of is why. If I had drunk, we would all be helpless by now.”
“Why would they drug us?” Rodney asked, but it came out sounding like ‘I ood ug us” because he was talking with his mouth smushed against Teyla’s wrist while she checked his eyes.
“That is what I intend to find out.” She stood and looked at him worriedly, if not a little angrily. “You cannot fly in this condition. Rest; I will not let anyone harm you or Rodney or Ronon while you recover.” She looked ready to take on the entire village as she began arranging their weapons.
Sheppard almost felt sorry for Bandar. Then he passed out.
He was kind of surprised to wake up in the same room. His groaning drew Teyla over, and she slid one of her strong hands underneath his shoulders and helped him sit. Crap. That was it. He felt like crap. Warmed over and stirred. Bile crept up his throat and his head ached like two sledgehammers had hit simultaneously on both sides.
“Are you all right?” she asked, frowning at him.
“Are you?” Sheppard was peering at her through eyes that were alternating between squinting and looking and he could see how tired she looked. Like she hadn’t slept in ages. Then he noticed the P90 held tightly in her other hand.
Drugged. They’d been drugged. He remembered the bitter taste in his mouth after finishing that last glass. That was it. They were never having alien food or drink again.
“I am fine.” She finally let go of her P90, setting it on the bed by Sheppard’s thigh and went to the dresser, pouring a glass of water and returning. “Drink.” He took the water and tried to be greedy, because his mouth tasted like wadded up dirty socks, but she pulled it back and scolded, “Only a little or it will not stay down.”
Sheppard might have made a face along the lines of aw, mom but he checked himself and settled for a sip that only took the edges off his dry mouth.
More groans coming from Rodney and Ronon meant they were coming to. The next half-hour was spent with all three of them trying to shake off the after effects, at least enough to stand and move. Two things that Sheppard felt were particularly hard to do right now. “Crap, what’d they give us?”
“Something to keep you senseless.” She fixed a stony look on Sheppard. “I told you I did not trust him.”
“He seemed nice enough,” Rodney defended.
“And do you not recall Chaya?”
“Hey!” Sheppard glared at that one. Chaya hadn’t been so bad. Maybe she had kept a secret or two, and led them on a little, but she’d saved their lives and that had to count for something.
“Good point,” agreed Rodney. He’d taken an instant dislike to the Ancient woman, long before he could prove why. Then he moaned and waved for Sheppard to pass over the water.
Teyla peered through the white curtains obscuring the window, pointedly ignoring Sheppard’s protest. She studied whatever was out there for a few moments before turning back to look at them. Sheppard was sure they looked about as pitiful as they felt. “Do you think you can walk?”
He nodded, groaned, and stood, taking her offered support when his legs began to disagree with his brain. She helped Rodney and Ronon then she shoved their weapons against their chest and surveyed them skeptically.
“Bandar did this for a reason. I suggest we find out why.” Then she opened the door. All. The. Way. Bright light barreled into Sheppard’s eyes and he covered his face, wincing. She smiled, saccharine sweet and just as fake. “I’m sorry, does that hurt?”
Damn. Yeah, she was pissed. She’d suspected something was wrong from the get-go, and because Sheppard had blown off her concerns for the most part and chalked up her distrust to moodiness, she’d had to keep guard over three drugged teammates. Nothing like spending the night worried and sleepless to increase the grumpiness factor. “No, no,” he assured her, refusing to admit just how much. His lips thinned in a pained line. He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.
Bandar, as it happened, was easy to find. He was sitting on the porch in front of the council building, a small stick in one hand and a knife in the other. He didn’t look even slightly guilty. Sheppard stalked over. Okay, he stumbled. And maybe swayed. But he did it with style.
“What the hell did you think you were doing?” Sheppard demanded.
“Colonel?” Bandar kept whittling unconcernedly on his stick.
“You drugged us!” Sheppard’s accusation almost sounded like he was six years-old and Bandar had promised to give Sheppard a turn on the swing and then reneged. There was nothing so bad as betrayal on a playground level.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he denied. This time he did stop whittling and looked up. He pasted a smile on that said something completely different. Their suspicions were dead on.
“You would have taken us prisoner. Be thankful you did not.” Teyla tightened her hold on her weapon. “It would have been a grave mistake, Bandar. We may not have destroyed twenty Hive ships, but I assure you, we have killed many Wraith. We are not afraid to protect ourselves.” She leaned closer to the Gaesh leader, a ferocious look on her face. “Do you understand?”
A loud thump echoed as Bandar sat up, the chair dropping down on all four legs. The mask of bumbling, loud leader dissolved and a very crafty face replaced it. “Teyla Emmagan – surely you know how it is? I’m leader to my people; they depend on me to do whatever I can to protect our interests. If that includes selling four legendary figures to the highest bidder, no hard feelings intended.” He smiled pleasantly. “So long as we understand one another, I see no reason why we can’t continue to do business. It’s nothing personal. Certain parties offered a pretty penny for any one of you, and an extra bonus for all four.” Bandar’s eyes narrowed on Sheppard. “Although, the highest price is on your head, Colonel.” He chewed his lip pensively. “Not sure why, though. You were gullible enough last night. Not quite what I’d expect for a man gaining notoriety for his exploits.”
Rodney was still hung up on the previous part. “You were going to sell us?” His mouth gaped. “What is it with this galaxy?”
“Dr. McKay, you are a man of singular interests. We knew that sprinkling this ore would draw you to us. Your predictability will get you yet.”
“You baited us,” Ronon growled. “Planted the Naquadah.”
“I would never stoop so low as to sell others for my own people’s gain.” Teyla looked ready to punch Bandar for insinuating she’d do the same if her people’s lives depended on it. Insulting Teyla’s honor was a surefire way to get her really pissed off. Kind of like that day when she decked Bates. That’d been another one of those really bad months and her irritability had given Bates an “in” to get under her skin. That’d almost gotten her thrown in the brig for a cool down.
But Bandar wasn’t Sergeant Bates and Sheppard almost wished she’d go for it. He wasn’t going to pull her back. The bastard had lured them here and had planned to sell them to…to whom? “The Genii? Kolya? Who was the highest bidder, Bandar?” Sheppard grated. “And why let Teyla stop you? One woman was all that stood between you and a fortune.”
Sheppard was baiting Bandar, now.
Too bad the Gaesh man wasn’t biting. He smiled a dirty grin. “Your woman is a fair shot, Colonel, or so I’ve heard. My people might be opportunists, but we are not suicidal. If she’d drank along with the rest of you, then you would’ve been unprotected and easy to capture. Since she didn’t, you weren’t, and fortunately I never ever arrange deals until I have the goods in hand. I prefer easy acquisitions, and they are readily available, let me assure you. But, telling you won’t harm anything. Kolya of the Genii was most interested, the Wraith as well, or so rumor says,” at Rodney’s paling, Bandar shrugged, “it would’ve guaranteed our people safety. Anyway, there were a few other independents interested. I heard a great deal when I traveled recently to Ragna on another trading trip.”
Rodney stared at Bandar, stared like his brain still hadn’t gotten past the no Naquadah part and the selling them to the highest bidder part. “I can’t believe this,” he finally said. He turned to Teyla. “Shoot him.”
That made Bandar’s eyes widen, and Sheppard’s too. “Rodney,” he warned.
“No, I’m serious. We can’t let something like this go. Soon the whole galaxy will think we’re weak and everyone will try to spike our drinks and kidnap us. We got lucky, Sheppard.”
“McKay’s right. I say we shoot him.” Ronon glanced appreciatively at Rodney and flipped his blaster setting to kill.
“Now, let’s not be too hasty.” Bandar put his hands up in an everyone just calm down gesture. “I’m sure we can come to an agreement about this. No one has to hear about what happened.”
Sheppard regarded Bandar and shrugged. Maybe he could use this to get something out of this fiasco. “Yeah, maybe you’re right Rodney. Shoot him Teyla.” He nodded meaningfully her way and she exchanged a knowing look with him.
She aimed her P90, looking very steady and very lethal. Bandar was sweating now, his eyes shifting rapidly from Sheppard to Teyla. “Colonel! You don’t really want to kill me; it was a mistake, I admit that now, an error in judgment.” Teyla’s finger began to move just a little. “No, stop! Wait, wait. You’re not murderers!”
“I think the Wraith would beg to differ with you. And Kolya.” Sheppard smiled lazily. It was hard as hell to do with his queasy stomach and pounding head, but he forced his body to shape up and do what he needed. At least until he could collapse in the Jumper.
“Okay, okay!” Bandar’s voice went high-pitched and squeaky when Teyla loaded the chamber. “What do you want? Anything, just name it!”
“No more bargaining with people’s lives. No more selling to the highest bidder. No more trading human flesh for gain.” Sheppard had finally figured out that much. Bandar wasn’t new to this kind of thing; in fact, he’d probably been doing it for a long time. There was the realistic fact that this probably wouldn’t change anything. For all that he wanted to eliminate this scumbag from an already repressed galaxy, it wasn’t his job. Sheppard wasn’t a vigilante and he wasn’t going to go around shooting people based on how crummy of a person they were. But maybe their threats might make him think twice in the future about drugging people and selling them for profit. The ease with which Bandar had gone about his plan last night proved to Sheppard that the man wasn’t new to duplicity and drugging and making underhanded deals that only benefited him. Sheppard knew there were people out here that would sell their soul to the devil just trying to save their own skin.
When Bandar hesitated to agree, Teyla shifted her aim a hair to the right of his head and pulled the trigger. Splintered wood struck his cheek and Bandar cringed, shouting, “Yes, yes, fine! Whatever you say, just go!”
“You know we’ve got ships,” Ronon said. “We’ll be watching you.” He gave Bandar his most menacing look yet. Sheppard felt scared and it wasn’t even aimed at him.
“All right, all right. I understand.” Bandar looked defeated. “We’ll stick to trading crops, I swear.”
“Is there any way you could get us more of that Naquadah --” Rodney started hopefully, wincing around his headache.
“McKay, Jumper,” Sheppard barked.
Rodney groaned and lifted a hand to massage his painful head. “Quieter, Sheppard. Just…talk quieter.” Then he made a disgusted face because he was completely not getting any of the precious ore that he’d hoped for. “Great. Terrific. I need a T-shirt that says ‘I ‘gated to MX9-996 and all I got to show for it was being drugged’,” Rodney bitched, throwing his hands up in resignation.
“Would you just go?” Sheppard’s head pounded.
McKay looked like he wanted to try just one more time, but Ronon shoved him forward and stumbled after him. They headed toward the path that led to the cloaked Jumper. Sheppard was turning to follow when Bandar called, “Colonel, I’ll give you the address of the world where I got that ore in exchange for your female!” The Gaesh man eyed Teyla like she was an exotic fruit that he wanted to eat. “She is truly magnificent.” She seethed at his words and he added, pulling back a little, “In a scary, heart-pumping way.” He waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. “A little on the thin side for my tastes, but I can fix that soon enough.”
Teyla decked him. One moment Bandar was grinning lecherously, the next, his feet were flying up as the force of her blow sent his head whipping backward.
“Feel better?” Sheppard asked.
“Much.”
“Good.”
Sheppard smiled a little and put his sunglasses on. They left Bandar rubbing his jaw and picking himself up off the ground. PMS – gotta love it.
Part Three
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-28 10:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-11 01:52 am (UTC)