Hollow City by slybrarian (doppelganger challenge)

[slybrarian.livejournal.com]

Title: Hollow City (Doppelganger Challenge)
Author: [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]
Pairing: Gen
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Even a City can feel sorrow.
Notes: Takes place during “Progeny.” Thanks to achae_ology for a beta.


She sensed something coming, diving through hyperspace towards her. It was too fast to be the Enemy, too large and powerful to be the tiny human ship, its wake signature achingly familiar. It was, she knew, too much to hope that another like her had survived, but if the newcomers had taught her anything in their short years, it was that hope was never wasted. The ship emerged into normal space in the sky above her, and for a moment she knew that what she was feeling must be joy and elation. She reached out to touch her unknown sister and then recoiled in horror.

Cold. Empty. Lifeless. Abomination.

She had once had many children in this galaxy, lost Prolenas and Catanrush and the others, which never been allowed grow their minds as she had, as she never would have been had she not she awoken so long ago that ten thousand generations had grown up within her. But though her masters’ hearts had hardened over the ages, they had never created thoughtless husks like this awful, identical mimicry of her.

She trigger her alarms then and felt her people react, the Coordinator moving to determine the cause and alert his fellows, the Vice Commander rushing towards Control. The wrong way, she tried to tell him, go to the Chair, the Chair. She yearned to strike now, even knowing that her depleted energy reserves could not last, but her old masters had been careful to be sure she could not access the weapons without direction from the Chair.

Not that she would if she could, she suddenly realized as she scanned her target. The Commander was on the alien city-ship, and the Chief Scientist, with their two men-at-arms and their advisor. She longed to aid them, but all she could do was watch as they moved through intruder. Then she spotted a curious spike of energy from the other city’s power room and recognized the Scientist’s handiwork there. The threat was dealt with before most of her inhabitants even had time to know it existed, and for a moment the joy returned as she realized her favored had escaped to safety.

She wept then, as debris burned in the atmosphere, for a City that died without living, for a race of siblings twisted by hate, for the suffering caused by the arrogance and foolishness of her creators; she hoped that her new children could fix the mistakes of the past.

Comments

[reen212000.livejournal.com]

Ooh! Surprise! I really liked that you used The City. This is great!

[slybrarian.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm pretty happy that I seem to have surprised everyone.

[seekergeek.livejournal.com]

Very, very cool. Atlantis' doppleganger - very original. *applauds*

[slybrarian.livejournal.com]

I'm really glad that everyone thinks this was cool. Thanks for reading!

[westdean.livejournal.com]

Great challenge response - really original

[shallanelprin.livejournal.com]

Wow. Great, well done story. I really like that you did the City and that it's from something that happened in cannon.

[slybrarian.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I was originally thinking of doing something along the line of a RepliCarter, but then it hit me that the Asurans had already duplicated something.

[ceitie.livejournal.com]

This is an awesome story, I never thought of the Replicator's Atlantis as being a doppelganger, but it works perfectly. I really liked the way you portrayed the City's thoughts and emotions as well.

[slybrarian.livejournal.com]

I was trying to portray how the city didn't think and experience emotion quite like humans do, and that it's been around a long, long time. I'm glad to hear you think it worked out well, I wasn't sure myself.

[cesperanza.livejournal.com]

Oh, clever.

[slybrarian.livejournal.com]

At the risk of sounding like a fanboy, you calling it clever makes me squee a bit. Thanks!

[leesa_perrie]

A good original approach to the challenge - and very good too.

[slybrarian.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the complements!

[slybrarian.livejournal.com]

Poor Atlantis is right. Constantly getting abandoned and shot at and invaded. At least now she's got people who aren't stuffy idiots, even if John did bring along a bunch of human pets.

[wildcat88.livejournal.com]

Very creative! I liked it.

[slybrarian.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

Very interesting, in the good way. We've all speculated on the AI-or-no-AI issue, and this takes it a step further in such a beautiful way. You really have to feel for Atlantis, because if the city is self-aware, then there's nothing more disturbing than seeing your reflection explode in the skies above you...

[slybrarian.livejournal.com]

On a pragmatic level, I know that the city probably has no AI, and if we ever do see it it'll immediately go batshit crazy. Still, having grown up on books like The Ship Who Sang I really want there to be some sort of intelligence there. Probably not a deliberately created one, and certainly not one that thinks and feels the same way a human does, but something. And no matter who you are, seeing an identical version of yourself die has to be horrible.

I'll probably be writing more fic in which the city plays some sort of role. There's a few done already. One's an earlier flashfic, and the other two were for, uh, mmom (one of which is going up today sometime) as part of my project with archae_ology.

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

I understand the pragmatism? But at the same time, it's always nice to dream, eh? Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

Coolness, I'll have to remember to keep my eyes open; I know I've read one or two of your earlier fics. They're always thought-provoking.

[midvacent.livejournal.com]

Very poignant. Wonderfully written too. Thanks for sharing it. :D