Absolution, by Miss Pamela

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Title: Absolution
Author: Miss Pamela
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Summary: "The first two times, it had all been so fast and frantic, they hadn't even really gotten to enjoy it."

Angsty moody little thing that came out of nowhere. Thanks to the_star_fish for her ultra-quick beta!



The first two times, it had all been so fast and frantic, they hadn't even really gotten to enjoy it.

Sheppard had gotten back from the fucking Swamp Thing mission, bruised and pale and still half-drowned. Rodney had cornered him behind the puddlejumper to yell at him Stupid, reckless, you didn't even know what that thing was, I could have told you, if I was there…and then somehow they were kissing, harsh and gentle and desperate, and Rodney's mind echoed with a hundred thousand I'm sorrys that he was always so bad at saying.

The next time, it was Rodney, after an encounter with the Wraith. He'd been hit with a stunner; the Wraith had been feeding for, God, minutes, hours, forever, and Sheppard just blew it away like it was easy. Sheppard dropped to his knees next to him, not so much kissing him as he was pushing life into him with his breath, with the sheer force of his body, with the heat of his lips. He couldn't hear much over the ringing of his ears, but that was okay. His last thought before he passed out was, fine, apology accepted…

Number three wasn't hurried or panicked; the cave had already collapsed as far as it was going to and Ford was just waiting for the solar flares to die down before rescuing them.

They not only managed to get their clothes off, but they had time afterwards to just lie there and bask in the not-dying and the soft touching, and the utterly still darkness. Rodney ran his hand down John's hip and over his thigh, and he hit – it was unmistakable – a twisted ridge of scar tissue, slithering down his leg nearly to the knee.

"God, that’s – I'm amazed you can walk."

"Thanks. I'm not self-conscious about it at all. Really." He tried to push Rodney's hand away, but Rodney left it there, gently stroking up and down Sheppard's leg.

"With that face, you could be an amputee and still get laid," Rodney snorted.

Sheppard said, "It's amazing how that's not actually a compliment."

Rodney thought about Swamp Things and Wraith and Kolya, and about how Kolya was scarier than Wraith somehow, and how Sheppard had met Kolyas before there was even an active Stargate on Earth. Before nightmares became real.

"Is he dead?" Rodney asked.

Sheppard didn't hesitate. "Yeah."

"So, you, um, killed…"

"No."

Rodney closed his eyes against the darkness. He opened his mouth, flexed his hand against the rough hairs on Sheppard's leg, and tried to find the right thing to say. I would have done the same, it wasn't your fault, war is hell…Rodney felt the words slip out of him, like breathing.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Comments

[aithine]

Rodney thought about Swamp Things and Wraith and Kolya, and about how Kolya was scarier than Wraith somehow, and how Sheppard had met Kolyas before there was even an active Stargate on Earth. Before nightmares became real.

Love this. (Love it all.) Marvelous job as usual. :)

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you!

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow. This was great. I love stories that go sequentially like that (i.e., "the first time they did it..." or whatever) and this was definitely an excellent example of the breed. Very IC, very well-written, and I have no idea how you packed that much goodness into such a small space. *sits back and contemplates*
Anyway. Goooood.

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

I never really thought about it, but I have a thing for those kind of stories too. Thank you so much for reading!

[sprat.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is cool. And also very hot. Funny, that. :)

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thank you.

[fenris_wolf0]

Short and sweet. And:

"It's amazing how that's not actually a compliment."

Heh. The dialog was great and you managed to put a lot in a very short story...

[terrie01.livejournal.com]

My favorite line, as well. So perfectly encapsulates their relationship.

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!

[cathexys.livejournal.com]

oh...so much heavy stuff and fun and lightness rtight next to each other. breathing life into him and sheppard meeting kolyas right next to how that's not actually a compliment...wonderful!
thank you!!!

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad the balance worked.

[barkeep.livejournal.com]

Lovely, lovely, lovely.
They not only managed to get their clothes off, but they had time afterwards to just lie there and bask in the not-dying and the soft touching, and the utterly still darkness.
Nice.
:)

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[carolyn-claire.livejournal.com]

Sheppard said, "It's amazing how that's not actually a compliment."

That's so John. *g* I love the layers, here, the angst and the fear and the sweetness and the regret, all rolled up together, pulling me in. Very moving.

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!

[mamoru22.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was really nice.

I love Sheppard getting all sarcastic when talking about the scars and Rodney saying I'm sorry.

Hm, going to read again now :)

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Yay, thank you so much!

[dsudis.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh, lovely--they find their quiet moments in the oddest places. *g*

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Makes sense. They're odd men. *g*

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's lovely, very lovely! I love how much is packed into such a small space, the emotion, the action, and the love. Very powerful.

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

It's amazing how that's not actually a compliment.

Very nice :)

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

"With that face, you could be an amputee and still get laid," Rodney snorted.

Sheppard said, "It's amazing how that's not actually a compliment."

Perfect, *perfect* dialogue.

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I love their snark.

[wickedwords.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was cool. I loved Rodney finding the scar and the "Thanks. I'm not self-conscious about it at all. Really." line.

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I've been waiting to use that little conversation somewhere. :)

[zoerayne]

*wibble*
*cuddles Rodney and John*

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Awwww, they;re all okay in the end, though. They have each other. *g*

[minnow1212.livejournal.com]

Neat, sharp story. I'm impressed with how much you packed in.

>With that face, you could be an amputee and still get laid," Rodney snorted.

Sheppard said, "It's amazing how that's not actually a compliment." <

Great voices there.

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Cave! They are in a cave! And by saying it is not collapsing any further, there is an implication that there has already been a bit of a collapse and this means CAVE-IN!!

Which is just the kind of things that are going thru my mind right before I started to worry about whatever it was that happened to John's leg. Sniff.

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Hee! Cave-in fic! Yes!

Aww, John will be okay. Rodney will take care of him. *g*