sga_flashfic | "What You See Is What You Get" by deltacephei (Not human challenge)

Title: What You See Is What You Get
Challenge: not human
Author:

deltacephei
Rating: PG
Categories: gen, John/Rodney friendship
Words: ~1500
Spoilers: none
Notes: I think I might have managed to keep this sort of maybe a little mostly canon. Huh.

"Shields are down to twenty percent!"

The Daedalus shook heavily, and somewhere behind John a console exploded.

"We need to get them back now!" Caldwell shouted.

"Sorry, sir. Sorry, I can't fix the transporters on my own," Novak's voice sounded frantically apologetic over the comm system. She hiccuped. "Hermiod was hit by--"

John didn't hear the rest because he was forcefully pushed out of the way when Rodney sprinted off the bridge at top speed. John followed him.

Rodney was really fast when motivated. He was already clearing Hermiod's console from the lifeless body and the bustling crewmen when John arrived. "Will you calm the fuck down!" Rodney yelled at the crowd that had gathered around Hermiod. "He'll live! If we manage to get this done, that is. Get to work!"

Muttering to himself, Rodney studied screens, hit buttons, adjusted settings, read other screens. He cursed, yelled some more, and three minutes and one miracle later Lorne and his team were back on the Daedalus.

John stood staring at Rodney, crewmen circling around them in excitement and relief, but John couldn't even summon up a feeling of thank-god-we're-not-dead.

Rodney was oblivious. Obviously pleased with himself, he studied some readings. Readings that were displayed in Asgard language -- the can't-possibly-be-learned-in-one-lifetime Asgard language. Hermiod's console was Asgard by default setting.

"You," John said, approaching slowly. "You are--"

Rodney looked up. His eyes narrowed instantly. "Yes," he said. "I am. So sue me." Then he waved Novak over and left with a pointed glare in John's direction.

Huh. Giant huh. It explained a lot, though. Rodney's unlimited brainpower, for one. His giant ego, too, probably. And the total weirdness in social situations.

"Sir, can I help you?" Novak asked nervously some time later. John seemed to have been staring into space for too long.

He excused himself and spent the rest of their trip home trying to find Rodney without success.

John was aware he was a disgrace to the military in general and the air force in particular. Either that, or Rodney had picked up a thing or two.

John had to wait until after they got back to Atlantis, until after the briefings, until Rodney felt the dire need to finally go to sleep. That was when John caught him in his quarters. Rodney opened the door on the first knock.

"You're an Asgard?" John asked incredulously without preamble. He was shushed and pulled through the the door.

"It's one of those 'I'd tell you but then I'd have to shoot you' things," Rodney said, firmly pushing him down into a chair. "Tell anyone, and they'll never find your body."

"But, but you're--" John gestured at Rodney's body.

"Human?" Rodney supplied, when John simultaneously finished with, "Clothed."

Rodney sent John his I-can't-believe-you're-that-stupid glare. "That's us, the Asgard: Naked by definition." He sat down on the bed. "Any physician would tell you I'm human, which just proves the voodoo nature of medicine. This is a cloned human body, Asgard only on the inside."

John had only ever met one Asgard, but he remembered some mission and status reports about the gray guys. "I thought--"

"That our cloning research hasn't progressed that far? You're right, it hasn't. I lost the major part of my knowledge and memories during the transfer. That's hardly what I'd call a complete success. Human brains are so-- so slow and tiny."

"Thanks a lot," John retorted, more or less automatically.

"Well, they are!"

John couldn't find it in him to argue the point. He lacked experience for comparison, anyway. "And why--?"

"Believe me, I asked myself the same question countless times," Rodney interrupted, annoyed. "Why would I choose a life in ignorance and stupidity? Ironically, I don't remember. It's probably something about humans being the fifth race and still so young and innocent and in need of assistance and so on."

"Assistance?" John didn't especially like the sound of that.

"Yes, well," Rodney said, without even a hint of modesty, "where would you be without me?"

Dead, a hundred times over, John thought, but he wasn't going to say it.

"Jeannie always said I took that part too seriously," Rodney added.

John's eyes widened. "Your sister is--"

"Oh, yes." Rodney waved his hand dismissively. "She's Asgard, too. And a renegade one, at that. She started to like her human life a little too much. To be fair, she remembers almost nothing from before."

Despite all the weirdness he couldn't get his head around, John was intrigued. "And you do?"

"Yes. But still, it's only bits and pieces." Rodney sounded almost bitter. "All that's left of six centuries of brilliance and ingenuity."

"Six hundred years?"

"I don't look my age, do I," Rodney said with a crooked smile.

John stared at Rodney for a long time, searching for signs of the inner Asgard, though he wasn't sure what an inner Asgard would look like, exactly. There was only Rodney. Piercing blue eyes, receding hairline, broad back, soft stomach. Which somehow begged the question--

"About that body of yours--" John started, scratching his head.

"I know, I know. Why did we choose this body? Why a body with hypoglycemia, deadly allergies and other unfortunate properties? Why not, say, one like yours?"

"Hey, no cloning me!" John protested, yet he felt absurdly flattered.

"Oh, relax," Rodney said, rolling his eyes. "Your genes are safe from greedy Asgard hands. Only dead people get cloned. My gene donor died a hundred or so years ago."

"That's not--"

"Reassuring, yes. Whatever. Anyway, the Asgard don't concern themselves with food allergies or gaining weight. They have trouble wrapping their mind around the idea of food that doesn't come in cubic shape. Boy, would they be in for a surprise." Rodney sighed dreamily.

"Uh," John said, frowning. "What is it now, 'they' or 'we'?"

"Huh?" Rodney looked confused.

"You've been switching between 'they' and 'we'. What are you, one of us or one of them?" As soon as he'd asked, John realized he wasn't certain if he really wanted to know the answer.

"I do that? I switch? Really?" Rodney tilted his head, thinking. "Well, technically, I'm a combination of both, an Asgard consciousness in a human body. Given the chance, I--" Rodney paused. "I wouldn't go back." His own answer seemed to catch him by surprise. "I haven't thought about this in years. I wouldn't go back. Of course, after spending more than thirty years in this body, and since the transfer obviously altered my mind somehow, I've practically been reduced to human form. I guess you could call me, um, mostly human?"

John decided to ignore the new display of-- what was the exact opposite of modesty? Instead, he asked, "Does that make you a renegade Asgard as well?"

Rodney seemed to like the idea. "Could be," he said, grinning.

Renegade Asgard. Rodney was an Asgard. An honest to god Asgard. The reality of it slammed home belatedly and unexpectedly hard. It was a little much to take in all at once. John had a thousand questions, all racing for a chance to be spoken out loud first, and the resulting traffic jam seemed to be clogging his synapses. John settled for an almost pleading, "Tell me more," which didn't take too much thought and yet roughly summed up about half of his questions.

"I can't. I shouldn't have told you in the first place." Rodney even sounded apologetic.

"Just," John started, collecting himself, "just this: You're here to assist mankind? Nothing more? No hidden agendas?"

"No hidden agendas," Rodney promised solemnly.

"Okay," John said. "I can-- You-- We can sure do with your ongoing assistance. And since you're mostly human--" John's voice trailed off, then he shook his head. "I am officially totally out of my depth."

"Would it feel more real if you knew my name?" Rodney suggested after a pause.

"Your name?" Your name is Rodney McKay, John thought stupidly.

"My Asgard name."

Oh. John nodded. "It might."

"It's Magni," Rodney said. "Though I think I might forget it in the course of the next twenty or thirty years."

For some reason John liked the sound of that. "How long exactly have you been--"

"I told you, no more questions," Rodney interrupted quickly. "I can't tell you anything about my life as an Asgard."

Which sucked, big time, John thought. "What about your life as you?"

Rodney blinked. "I can do that."

"Good," John said. "Fine."

"But not today." Rodney rose from the bed. "I haven't slept in twenty-four hours, and I'd rather be awake for that conversation. Who knows what kind of information you're going to try to wheedle out of me."

John rose from the chair, making a Who, me? kind of face, knowing he'd been figured out. Rodney stepped closer and put a hand on John's shoulder.

"Remember, no one else can know," Rodney reminded him seriously. "Extra emphasis here: No one."

"I get it. I may be a humble human, but I'm not stupid."

"Really, I'm glad we had this conversation," Rodney said, beaming, and patted John's shoulder twice. "We're good, right? Yes, we're good."

John let himself be maneuvered towards the door. A terrifying thought let him freeze, then turn around in the doorway. "You're not pulling my leg, are you?"

Rodney rolled his eyes, gave John a little shove and shut the door in his face.

John smiled. Yeah, they were going to be good.

- end -

Author's note: If you want to know about Asgard!Rodney's Norse god namesake, I can offer the pop-culture and the geek version.

Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis and its characters are not my creation. I don't expect to gain anything by this work of fiction, except maybe a feeling of accomplishment.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

sholio

You know, disturbingly, this actually kinda ... works. I always have a bit of trouble accepting stories of the "... and this canon character is really an [x]!" sort, especially when [x] is rather far-fetched. But I can actually see this. If there ever was a character who acts like a super-smart alien impersonating a human, it's Rodney. *grin*

From:

korilian.livejournal.com

WHEEE! I loved this so much! Of course he's an Asgard! And they wouldn't know that they should worry about weird stuff like food allergies and funky conditions!

From:

scifi-lemon.livejournal.com

LOL! Rodney the Asgard! *snort*

Very cool.

From:

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