To sleep, perchance to dream by amuckgirl

[amuckgirl.livejournal.com]

Title: To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

Author: amuckgirl (BittersweetMika)

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Don't own it, wish I did.

Spoilers: Very slight for SG1 "48 Hours"

Summary: Rodney's dreams and their evolution.

Authors Notes: Honestly, I have no idea where this came from. Inspired by rocking my son to sleep I tried to makes something poetic. *crosses fingers* Also, still no beta reader. Mistakes are all my own.





When he’s young, Rodney dreams in music more than images.

Notes and harmonies. Melodies and swelling movements that lock together to stretch across the expanse of his mind.

A piece of music that only he can hear in the quiet of sleep.

In the waking world he toils and labors to transcribe the sounds of his dreams into something tangible, readable, playable.

He’s twelve when he presents the music to his teacher and is told that while his work in clinically perfect it lacks soul and he wonders how something so a part of him could lack what makes him live and breathe.

*

When he’s an adolescent, Rodney dreams in numbers.

Equations and symbols. Factors and primes. Sequences that puzzle those around him are as clear to him as the notes on a piano once were.

He can feel the universe opening to him, trying to tell him something if only he is smart enough to unlock the whispered mysteries.

He fills the spaces left by music with awards and degrees. Fancy titles added to his name, and volumes of published work that justify this genius and his attitude.

When a young student stands in awe before his work and softly says that he can feel the soul of Rodney’s work he has to walk away quickly before the feeling inside breaks free.

*

In Russia, Rodney dreams in electricity.

Joules, volts, watts and static.

Arching waves and backlashes of energy that both create and destroy. It keeps him warm at night when the temperature drops and the memories tide him over during the days when the reality of his exile creep over his skin and raise the hair on the back of his neck in chastisement.

At night, swollen and fractured he buries the memory of blond hair and blue eyes that are reckless and distrustful and tries to feel his way into a solution that will snap the pieces of a generator together in a way that will prove his worth.

*

In Atlantis, Rodney dreams all.

Sound and light. Numbers and electricity. Touch and memory.

His dreams dance and weave and tell the stories he already knew in a way so complete that parts he never knew were missing unlock and slide into place making him stronger.

The city itself lulls him to sleep and he’s comfortable and secure in the knowledge that here he is the one that makes the puzzle pieces fit together. Here he can feel the soul of his work renewed, and ideas and fears that once stifled him fall away.

It is only in Atlantis that Rodney’s dreams pale in comparison to the reality that he lives.

Comments

[sugarsbadhabit.livejournal.com]

It worked for me! You created lovely, moving images with this, touching on bits of Rodney's life that paint a wonderful picture of who he is. Very nice!

[amuckgirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you :) This was a departure for me and I'm glad I didn't crash and burn with it.

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

Beautiful!

he buries the memory of blond hair and blue eyes that are reckless and distrustful and tries to feel his way into a solution that will snap the pieces of a generator together in a way that will prove his worth.

I loved this bit.

[amuckgirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I always pictured Rodney stuck in Russia doing everything he could to prove that he was better than the project. Because when I thought about it I thought it was kinda shoddy that he was sent there in the first place.

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

I think you're right on the money there. I think it was petty -- but on the other hand, it's faintly possible they suspected me might have been as much of a slevine as John deLancie's character (I can never remember his name) and wanted to get him away from any projects he might have been sabotaging for the guy and somewhere they knew he'd be watched pret'near constantly. And the next time we see him, even though he's all sleep-deprived, he's on pretty good behaviour. He keeps the snark to a manageable level, makes jokes, is brilliant, only gets in one shouting match with Sam, and is shortly thereafter completing her thoughts. It works really well with the idea that he was trying to think of a way to prove himself.

[tarlanx]

Lovely images throughout of his dreams :-)

[amuckgirl.livejournal.com]

Thanks ;) I really tried to put what I was picturing into terms that I thought other people would understand. I'm happy that it worked. I was nervous about this whole story.

[ladyoflisquill.livejournal.com]

When a young student stands in awe before his work and softly says that he can feel the soul of Rodney’s work he has to walk away quickly before the feeling inside breaks free.

I love this bit. Like Rodney was always searching for that part of himself.

[amuckgirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you :) That's what I was trying to get across. I'm happy that it worked.

[windysame.livejournal.com]

Oh, I like this short story. How very like the way any creative creature's mind might work. It also touches the reality of life in Atlantis for the main engineer genius there.

[sor-bet.livejournal.com]

Very cool. Usually in fics it's John who finds himself when he gets to Atlantis, but it's true for Rodney here, especially the way you've written it. Lovely.