Wargames by Slybrarian
Jan. 14th, 2009 10:03 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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sga_flashficTitle: Wargames (Wish Fulfillment Challenge)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
slybrarian
Rating: PG
Pairings: None
Words: 450
Summary: In which Chuck makes a wish at the wrong time.
"WAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!"
Chuck winced as the cry rang out again from the other side of the sealed door, accompanied by the patter of gunfire. This sort of thing was supposed to happen to Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay, not to him. He had the gene, yes, but it had always been... safe. Mundane. Domestic, perhaps. The lights turned on and off, the shower's temperature set itself, and in general the city reacted to his subconscious thoughts only when it came to things like that.
Apparently, though, the device he had found while scoping out a large room he had thought would be a good place for a gaming session was over-sensitive or something.
Across the hall, Sheppard shook his head. "Don't take this the wrong way, Chuck, but I'm really, really glad this wasn't my fault." To his sides Lorne and several other marines chuckled and glanced down the hall to where McKay and Zelenka were trying to figure out how to cut off power to the room.
"I just said it would be nice if we could get more minis, sir," Chuck said mournfully. "It's a pain trying to get armies shipped on the Daedalus, even when we pool our space. I didn't expect that thing to make me some."
"Or for them to be alive," Sheppard guessed.
Chuck winced. "Yeah."
"At least they're tiny," Lorne said sympathetically. "Easy squishing size, and their shootas and choppas are too small to hurt anyone."
"They might put your eye out, though," Sheppard said.
"True, especially if there's any armor." Lorne looked at Chuck. "Tell me there's no gargant."
"No, sir," Chuck replied.
Sheppard frowned and then banged his head back against the wall. "We're going to have to fumigate, aren't we?"
Lorne frowned as well. "Right, spores. We could be dealing with these things for months. Wouldn't that just be wonderful?"
Chuck blinked several times, then carefully asked, "You two know about the reproductive cycle of orks?"
Sheppard and Lorne looked at each other, at the marines who had suddenly taken an interest in the conversation, and then simultaneously told Chuck, "No."
"Right," Chuck said, not believing them for a moment.
"Anyways," Sheppard said after a minute. "I suppose things could be a lot worse. I mean, instead of orks we could be looking at, say, Chaos and Traitor Marines -"
Sheppard was cut short when the lights flickered. Past the door, Chuck heard the ominous hummm-whump noise the Ancient device had made when it spawned several thousand miniature Orks. Then, after a moment of silence, more noise came from inside.
"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!"
"WAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!"
Most terrible was the irate scream McKay let out. "Sheppard, you idiot!"
Author:
slybrarianRating: PG
Pairings: None
Words: 450
Summary: In which Chuck makes a wish at the wrong time.
"WAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!"
Chuck winced as the cry rang out again from the other side of the sealed door, accompanied by the patter of gunfire. This sort of thing was supposed to happen to Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay, not to him. He had the gene, yes, but it had always been... safe. Mundane. Domestic, perhaps. The lights turned on and off, the shower's temperature set itself, and in general the city reacted to his subconscious thoughts only when it came to things like that.
Apparently, though, the device he had found while scoping out a large room he had thought would be a good place for a gaming session was over-sensitive or something.
Across the hall, Sheppard shook his head. "Don't take this the wrong way, Chuck, but I'm really, really glad this wasn't my fault." To his sides Lorne and several other marines chuckled and glanced down the hall to where McKay and Zelenka were trying to figure out how to cut off power to the room.
"I just said it would be nice if we could get more minis, sir," Chuck said mournfully. "It's a pain trying to get armies shipped on the Daedalus, even when we pool our space. I didn't expect that thing to make me some."
"Or for them to be alive," Sheppard guessed.
Chuck winced. "Yeah."
"At least they're tiny," Lorne said sympathetically. "Easy squishing size, and their shootas and choppas are too small to hurt anyone."
"They might put your eye out, though," Sheppard said.
"True, especially if there's any armor." Lorne looked at Chuck. "Tell me there's no gargant."
"No, sir," Chuck replied.
Sheppard frowned and then banged his head back against the wall. "We're going to have to fumigate, aren't we?"
Lorne frowned as well. "Right, spores. We could be dealing with these things for months. Wouldn't that just be wonderful?"
Chuck blinked several times, then carefully asked, "You two know about the reproductive cycle of orks?"
Sheppard and Lorne looked at each other, at the marines who had suddenly taken an interest in the conversation, and then simultaneously told Chuck, "No."
"Right," Chuck said, not believing them for a moment.
"Anyways," Sheppard said after a minute. "I suppose things could be a lot worse. I mean, instead of orks we could be looking at, say, Chaos and Traitor Marines -"
Sheppard was cut short when the lights flickered. Past the door, Chuck heard the ominous hummm-whump noise the Ancient device had made when it spawned several thousand miniature Orks. Then, after a moment of silence, more noise came from inside.
"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!"
"WAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!"
Most terrible was the irate scream McKay let out. "Sheppard, you idiot!"
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 03:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 06:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 03:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 06:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 04:33 am (UTC)Most terrible was the irate scream McKay let out. "Sheppard, you idiot!"
as if McKay was more terrifying than orks or Chaos n Traitor Marines.
So crack!tistic. Love it to pieces.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 06:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 04:51 am (UTC)Bwah! Living WH ftmfw!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 06:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 07:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 06:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-19 09:55 pm (UTC)What are the admittedly amusing minis?
DragonLady
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-20 12:38 am (UTC)Uh. Elizabeth? If you heard that, I didn't mean that last part. Really. I would never dream of disobeying a member of the Emperor's blessed Inquisition.
Anyways, orks are big, green, foul-smelling xenos (http://www.the-waaagh.com/home.htm) who spend their lives going around killing things, mostly each other but also any of us 'hummies' who get in their way, or for that matter any Tau, Eldar, 'nids, minions of the Ruinous Powers - hell, any non-ork people who they see and look like they could put up an interesting fight. They can be best described as 'British soccer hooligans in SPAAAAACE', at least according to some texts. Essentially they run around shooting their shootas (heavy machine guns and bolters), swinging their choppas (axes), and riding their trukks ("the red onez go fasta" - and sadly, they really do), and when they spot the enemy (ie everyone) they all scream"WAAAAAAGGGGHHH!" and rush forward madly. Fortunately, this tends to work in our favor as they will keep coming right into masses lasgun and autobolter fire. It is a bit disconcerting, but hold your position, trust your comrades, believe in the Emperor, and you'll be fine. Also, remember that if you don't do the preceding I'll be right there, putting a bullet in your cowardly back.
There's a fair bit of other information that we know about them, like the way they're actually a kind of fungus and grow from spores, but the main thing you really need to know is that. Now get out of my sight or I'll have you flogged.
Commissar M. Rodney McKay, Hero of the Imperium
Atlantean 21st Fighter Regiment
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-20 03:13 am (UTC)I have spent five hours of overtime cleaning up after your little gaming club -- when Chess Club never makes such a mess! -- and the fumigation smell may never come out of my clothes. I want a raise.
R. Zelenka
Chief of Engineering
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 10:56 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 06:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 12:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 06:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-16 01:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-17 12:06 am (UTC)