[identity profile] teh-gandu.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] sga_flashfic
Title: Ghost
Author: angelic_mand
Category: Established-relationship/Character Study/PWP/1st POV/Angst
Challenge: Voyeurism
Pairings: Emmagen/Weir, Weir/Heightmeyer, Emmagen/Heightmeyer, will eventually be Weir/Heightmeyer/Emmagen.
Rating: NC-17
POV: Heightmeyer
Warning: Strong language.
Word Count: 2,599
Summary: She’s like a ghost watching, completely taken in and doesn’t feel any resentment towards either woman whatsoever.
A/N: Damn the world of PWP once again I am drawn into the plot less world *why?* Has not been beta read, so all mistakes are mine. Also this isn’t up to my normal NC-17 standard and I don’t know why…



Scene: Showers

I continue to gawk like some love struck teenager and yet I can’t help being taken aback, by the sight in front of me. Just what is it that she has that I don’t?

I know what you’re thinking it’s my own fault and in a way it is, I mean I should have made up my mind-just who do I like more Teyla or Elizabeth? Sounds easy enough right? Well that’s where you’d be wrong. Jesus even to this day I can’t choose, perhaps I should have told them, then I wouldn’t find myself in this predicament.

But there’s a reason why I didn’t tell either Elizabeth or Teyla-my moral duties.

Teyla’s my client and I could never cross that line, had there not been the doctor-patient boundary, then maybe…maybe I would have crossed it. If she wasn’t my client and if I wasn’t the only shrink in Atlantis, then I would have crossed that line, but I am the only shrink and she is my client. And my moral duty and belief prevents me from acting on my impulses.

Then there’s Elizabeth. Jesus, at the time she was involved with Simon and so fucked up, as a result of the whole Alternant Universe and again I wasn’t prepared to cross that line.

God when she came to see me that night I struggled with my feelings and my urges, but that night wasn’t about me, it was about her and when she fell asleep in my bed, oh, dear God that made everything worse. She looked like an angel, a fucking beautiful one to say the least, one within my grasp, but I wasn’t prepared to take advantage of her or her situation, she was too vulnerable, she’d opened herself to me, making her even more vulnerable and I didn’t want to risk everything on impulse.

But if I thought she looked beautiful at night, then God was I in for a shock the next morning.

Had she not being involved with Simon, then yes, yes, I would have crossed that line. Believe me.

She’s everything I want and seek in a woman, but so is Teyla and they’re complete opposites.

Regardless of what people say you can be in love with two people at the same time, of course you’re twice as likely to be screwed.

And there’s no way I could have them both…could I? Is that even possible? But then that brings up the age old question would they want me?

Obviously not, because here they are together….so involved.

How the hell could I not have seen the signs? Clearly they don’t care about the rules and regulations…why the hell can’t I be like that?

Again I know what you’re thinking: why am I still here? Simple it’s hot, that’s it, there’s no other real reason. And its one srewed up reason, I know.

I should have left, when it first began-in the swimming pool.

I shouldn’t have stayed there, shouldn’t have gawked like some teenager, I should have stormed out, or at least have had some kind of resentment, towards both women, but goddamn it nothing! Not even the slightest hint of anger. And why? Because it was so damn hot. And instead of anger, hate or any emotion, I found myself becoming fucking aroused, which was the last thing I needed!

I don’t know what made it worse, the fact that the sex was so hot, that I was becoming aroused or that it was Elizabeth on the receiving end and not me.

Had the Athosian not fucked Elizabeth there and then, I would have walked away-once I unfroze from the spot that is and set my jaw back in its right place.

If it was just two women I would have walked away and wouldn’t have given it another moments thought, but it wasn’t just two women, it was my Elizabeth and my Teyla that, that made it worse. And again I know what you’re thinking neither belongs to me, they belong to each other…. yes, I know that, no need to remind me!

But God, I wish they were mine.

What I wouldn’t give to taste the diplomat’s lips against mine or even Teyla’s. What I wouldn’t give to explore every inch of their body, Lord knows I dreamt of it every night. What I wouldn’t give to discover their fantasies and discover what position they prefer best. But it isn’t just about the sex, its not just about the physical aspect, I’m not that shallow. It’s never been about the “no strings attached” policy. Then again how can it be about the “no strings attached” policy if I’ve never acted on my impulses?


Strange as it seems I never once imagined them, as a couple, there’s no way they could just be fuck buddies, but at least if they are just fuck buddies, then I’m still in with a chance…

God who the hell am I kidding? What is this cloud cuckoo land?! Of course they’re not just fuck buddies!

Had my curiosity not got the better of me, I wouldn’t have investigated, wouldn’t have gawked, wouldn’t have been flabbergasted, but I had to investigate, had to allow my curiosity to get the better off me.

Curiosity certainly is a damn cruse.

The only upside is that had I not acted on my curiosity I’d still be living in this dream world, actually believing that I’m still in with a chance. But that’s not an upside, it’s not even a positive…if anything it’s a downfall with a cruse attached.

*Flashback*

I’d just stepped out of the sauna room, when I heard a shriek and going against my better judgment I decided to investigate, Lord know I wish I didn’t.

It had taken a few moments to process what was happening and when it finally did I still couldn’t believe it.

But there they were in the middle of the swimming pool, as clear as day, with Teyla leaving trails of kisses down Elizabeth’s back.

Sweet Jesus…This can’t be happening….that was the only thought that crossed my mind.

And yet as Teyla went under, I continued to gawk and again another shriek rings through my ears.

As the Athosian reemerges she’s wearing this devious grin, Elizabeth turns her neck. “You know the next time you-mmm”

Teyla cuts her words off and I can’t help gawking, as they begin to play “tonsil hockey”.

Oh God I think I’m going to be sick. Of all the things I’d imagined, this was the last thing that crossed my mind…

And yet I continued to stare, allowing my eyes to do all the exploring.
I’m not sure how long I’d been staring, but I found myself becoming aroused, which was all I needed.

My eyes flickered towards Elizabeth and she, she made it worse.

Again I couldn’t help it, I had to gawk at her breasts and taunted nipples, so fucking perfect…and suddenly I was reminded me of my own arousal and erected nipples.

For a few moments I closed my eyes and imagined that it was me in pool with Teyla-not Elizabeth and that it was me on the receiving end-and not Elizabeth and that she was penetrating me-not Elizabeth.

A muffled moan knocked me out of thoughts and once more I came crashing back down to earth: again reminded that it wasn’t me in that pool-that it was Elizabeth, that she was the one on the receiving end-not me and that she was the one being penetrated-and not me.

And yet I was frozen to the spot, aroused, unable to move, legs like jello, did I mention aroused?

Her body arches and I couldn’t help staring in amazement as she shudders.

There was no declaration of love, no sound of pleasure, and no sound whatsoever. They must know each other well enough to not communicate verbally God how long have they been at it?

This proved that they were much more then fuck buddies, that there was a commitment of some kind, a deep commitment and one that I could never be apart of.


*End of flashback*


And now, I find myself in the same predicament: frozen to the spot, legs like jello, dropped jaw, hypnotized, dried up throat and taken back by the events folding in front of me.

As the cold water sprays down Teyla’s toned body, I can’t help staring, as she crashes against the cold tilled shower wall, a smile forms on her lips, one that I’ve never seen before.

That smile must be for Elizabeth’s eyes only, of course I’ve seen it now and dear God it certainly is breathtaking.

Does she have a striking smile for Teyla as well?

As Elizabeth slides an arm around Teyla’s wet shoulders, I am again filled with envy.

Teyla leans up, claiming her soaking wet lips, I watch as she swallows droplets of water, as she does, I shudder.


As the diplomat’s hand slides down her soaking back, Teyla shivers.

She pulls the younger woman closer, her lips part allowing entrance for the Athosian’s wet tongue.

Dear God, what I wouldn’t give to be in Teyla’ position right now: to be able to feel her skin under my fingers and to be able to explore her, taste her…

I watch as Elizabeth tightens her grip around Teyla’s back, no doubt Teyla’s doing plenty of exploring…God she certainly could explore me anytime.

With her other hand she allows her fingers to run down Teyla’s abdomen and down her dark wet curls, I watch as she slides three fingers inside her, penetrating her slowly.

I find my throat drying up, as Teyla entangles her fingers in Elizabeth’s hair and she increases her penetration.

I continue to gawk, even more aroused.

God why do you do this to me?

She clutches strands of Elizabeth hair, which can mean only one thing…

As the Athosian finally comes, no sound can be heard, other than that of the dripping water from the shower.

And again I am reminded that this, this is how well they know each other. As once more there is no declaration of love.

I watch as she slides her fingers out, Jesus, what I wouldn’t give to have those fingers in mouth, to suck on them and to taste the Athosian.

Oh sweet Jesus, I find myself unable to breathe, as she takes her fingers to her mouth…Holy Hannah….

What the hell are you doing? Teyla, don’t! Don’t you fucking dare! Put her fingers back in her damn mouth…

There is no God, he can’t be this cruel. Is this some kind of game? It must be; it has to be.

A mischievous smile forms on Teyla’s lips, as her fingers lace with Elizabeth’s. I close my mouth, and watch as she kicks the Athosian’s legs apart.

As she props Teyla up against her thigh, my mouth drops open. Jesus she’s strong. Damn she could use that force on me any day…

I wince as Teyla slams hard against the metal knob. That had to have hurt.

Teyla says nothing, as she pulls Elizabeth, tiling her head right, her lips press smoothly against the diplomat’s, as Teyla wraps her legs around the diplomat’s hips, she begins to kiss her hungrily and fiercely.

Jesus Christ! This is too much, even for me.

Once more I can’t help gawking as Elizabeth’s hands slide smoothly down to the Athosian’s buttocks and again shock washes over me, as she pulls Teyla up, before sliding her fingers in, penetrating her once more.

How the hell did she do that and without breaking the kiss? God I need to come here more often. That and I really need to learn to stop gawking.

Who knew Elizabeth had such strength or so many dimples…or bruises…or hickeys.

My eyebrows rise, as I tilt my head briefly is that what I think it is? No! It couldn’t be...could it? How the hell she get a hickey down there? Actually I don’t even want to know….Wait. Fuck that’s why Teyla went down in the pool.

And why in God's name can’t I get angry?! Seriously this is the third time and I still feel nothing, no hatred, just envy and wishful thinking….


Oh God, my foot’s gone to sleep that’s all I need! I’m not even sure how, but somehow I manage to loose my balance. Pain shoots through me, as a hit the ground.

For a few moments I lie still, as Elizabeth tears away, turning her neck left, Teyla pulls her back, again their lips crash and again the Athosian kisses her hungrily, fiercely, again her speed and firmness is increased.

Thank-you Teyla….

Actually this is a much better view.

Again I can’t helping staring as Teyla arches, once more climaxing and once more reminding me how there is no need for verbal communication.

Elizabeth whispers something into the Athosian ear, before pulling away. “You know Kate…”

Fuck!

“…if you wanted to watch…” she turns around.

I’m like a doomed deer caught in the headlights.

“…all you had to do was ask, then,”

This isn’t good. Damn right it isn’t good! Now get off the damn floor and think of some excuse.

“…you could have a better view.”

What? Did she just say what I think she did? She couldn't have could she?

She walks over to me and again I’m unable to move, my throat has dried up and my legs have turned into jello.

She cups my face, flashing me a devious smile. “Or if you prefer…”

She plants a soft kiss on my lips. Oh dear Lord….

“… you could join in,” her eyes twinkle.

This is all a dream and I’m going to wake up, alone, aroused and unfulfilled.

She kisses me again. Oh God, this isn’t a dream….

“I wouldn’t mind and neither would Teyla.”

No, no, no. This has to be a dream, a screwed up dream, either that or they’re just playing with my mind.

“I’ve always had a thing for blondes and so has Teyla.”

If this was a dream, then I would be a wake and Elizabeth wouldn’t be dripping wet.

Fuck me.

She strokes my face. “And just so you know, I think the whole voyeurism thing, is very, very hot.”

Oh dear God…why aren’t I saying anything?

“And if you want a dip in the pool again all you have to do is ask.”

I feel myself blush. They’ve known the whole time?

“And just so you know,” her fingers lace with mine own, “this won’t be a one time thing, unless you want it to be.”

I shake my head.

She grins. “Good. You won’t regret this.”

Oh God I hope not….Wait! Who the hell am I going to do first?

She licks her lips. “We’ll do you first, Kate, so all you need to do is relax.”

Is she reading my mind? Wait they’ll do me together?

“Yup, we’ll do you together.”

Jesus that has not been done to me in years….

There is a God.

END

(no subject)

Date: 2005-07-20 01:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ellex42.livejournal.com
As hot as this is...and it is definitely HOT and well-structured...I have to comment on the over-usage of the word 'fuck'. I counted 26 completely gratuitous instances in which the word was completely unnecessary. That isn't the total count of the word 'fuck' in the story, just those instances where it could easily be removed without harm to the sentence structure. By about halfway through, every time I read it I was pulled out of the story. I love this, and I admire everyone who writes femslash, since it doesn't seem to be anywhere near as popular as male slash. But I think the over-usage of 'fuck' detracts from the fic.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-07-20 12:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ellex42.livejournal.com
My pleasure...like I said, I really do like this fic a lot. I just found the language very distracting.

Teyla/Elizabeth/Kate pool fic

Date: 2005-07-22 11:11 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
This is brilliant. Your best work so far.There has to be a part 2. I love the way The usually calm Kate Heightmeyer is suddenly out of control. Brilliant tone as well.
Thanks for sharing.

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