Lost in Waiting by Lacey McBain, NC-17 [Virgin]

[laceymcbain.livejournal.com]

Title: Lost in Waiting
Author: Lacey McBain
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~14,800 (I know!!)
Timeline: Set vaguely in the middle of S2 - definitely post-Runner, but with references to S1.
Summary: "You can’t have it both ways, Colonel. If you haven’t had any relationships, either you’re having the occasional one-night stand or you’re not having sex at all.”
Disclaimer: SGA doesn't belong to me. But you already knew that.
Author Notes:: torakowalski said she'd really like to see a realistic Virgin!John fic, and I got to thinking about it and couldn't stop. I tried my very best. This is for her.

On my webpage because it was too big for one post. Oops.

Lost in Waiting

Feedback makes me happy - multiple times. *G*

ETA: A huge thank you to everyone for reading and commenting. This is the most response I've ever had on a fic, and it's overwhelming in the best possible way. I usually respond to all comments, but I don't think I'll be able to this time, although I'll try to get to as many as possible. Thank you so much. ~Lacey

Comments

[kaizoku.livejournal.com]

Hehe, a little long for "flashfic". Not that I'm complaining! :-)
This actually calmed me in a certain way. I think it's that from the very beginning John feels safe with Rodney. I really liked that John has, on some level, the intuitive knowledge that Rodney loves him (not that there's anything wrong with the oblivious-pining scenario, but this is also realistic.) One of my favorite scenes was the flashback to John breaking Rodney's lose and their ensuing fight (and Ford!)
I thought your voices were very in character, which is impressive given how dialogue heavy this is.
Something that seemed a little odd to me was that John knows Rodney is bisexual and yet he's okay sleeping spooned up with Rodney. It seems like that might make him more uncomfortable, knowing that and also sensing that Rodney likes him. Maybe it doesn't really occur to him consciously to worry about, I don't know.
Anyway, I enjoyed this very much. Thank you.

[sunn-doyouknow.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, that is so painful and beautiful. I want to hug Rodney for being so perfect and understanding and for pulling John out of his comfort zone and out of his shell. And at the same time, I feel like taking a tire iron to General and Mrs. Sheppard. *sigh* It's almost cathartic, in a long, slow, drawn-out way.

[ladystarlightsj.livejournal.com]

Unbelievably good. Broke my heart, but in the good way. Thank you.

[nakedwesley.livejournal.com]

Words cannot express how much I adore this story. John's pain and loneliness make me ache and Rodney's sweet tenderness makes me breathless. It's not even about the sex. It's about the not touching and needing to be touched and living life without it for so long John thinks it's normal. God. So good!

[aurora]

First of all, I love you for being so prolific these days. You're seriously one of my favourite authors - ever since 'Care in the Holding' - and I'm just really glad you have so much inspiration.

Now, about this story.

God, there are not enough words to explain to you how much I love it. I'm sitting here with a lump in my throat and my hands are shaking, and I haven't had this kind of reaction in a long time. This touched so much of my kink, my tenderness buttons, it's not even funny.

I loved this slow exploration into John's youth, and his confrontations with Rodney, and the way this entire story was structured and just, yeah, the entire thing basically. This definitely deserves a reread (or a few dozen more).


Also, some of my favourite parts:

"So, this would be the reason you were pissed about the movie?” -- I started laughing so hard when I read this; great tension reliever.

It was bitterly cold and John thought they should have let her wear the pink fuzzy slippers instead of the uncomfortable shoes with the square black heels, but his father had said, “Don’t be stupid, John,” and he hadn’t even had the chance to say he just wanted her to be warm. -- This broke me.

“Sheppard?” Rodney swallowed and jiggled his wrist. “That—that hurts,” he said softly. -- This did too.

“It’s not different. I’ve fucked men, been fucked.” Rodney’s voice is steady and he’s got to notice John’s face is a screwed-up mess of emotions. He’s being crude just to make a point. “Sucked cock, and seriously, I’m a huge fan of blowjobs, doesn’t matter who’s giving them.” -- God, I love Rodney in this.

“In-vul-ner-able,” John sing-songs, and Rodney laughs, pressing his forehead against John’s. -- *melts*

[katydidmischief.livejournal.com]

That was simply amazing. Every piece of it was just perfect and I absolutely loved the way you ended the story. This is definitely a new favorite.

[kalikahuntress.livejournal.com]

This fandom is determined to make me cry all the time from the looks of it. I don't even really have words to describe how this resonated with me, thanks for writing this.

[mousewrites.livejournal.com]

wow.

Sweet and poignant and lovely.

:)

[anna_luna]

This fanfic made me go 'Oh...' it is sweet and wonderful and educational and sort of hot. I love how you made John a *believable* virgin and how Rodney fixed him the same way he'd fix ancient equipment, with care and patience, nudging, but not pushing. Thanks a lot for sharing this.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Wow. Excellent dialog about an incredibly difficult subject to maneuver. That was not only sexy as hell, but gentle and subtle and I love the little flashbacks as chips that Rodney was breaking away.

Loved this, it was amazing.

[ferret-kitty.livejournal.com]

That was amazingly brilliant. Very well done.

[partners4life.livejournal.com]

Absolutely lovely.

[elandrialore.livejournal.com]

Lovely as always. And this:

“John, you have to know I’ve had a little crush on you since the day you lit up Antarctica.”

“And by little you mean huge?” John asks, finally letting his eyes open. He can’t help but smile, and Rodney’s smiling back, cautious but hopeful. John can’t imagine not wanting to believe Rodney can make everything right for him.

“No, by crush I mean love.”

Was my absolute favorite part. It made me cry I was so happy.

[2naonh3-cl2.livejournal.com]

i loved it. ^o^ loved it, loved it, loved it. thank you for sharing.

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

Wow, what a beautiful piece. Very well done. Thanks.

[luthien.livejournal.com]

Great story. Lots of aspects of it that jumped out at me. Need to mull on it a little. Proper feedback later.

[nataliadarimini.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow. I love you and your story and your Rodney and your *John*

Um, though, I have a thing about people touching me, especially when I'm not expecting it, so now I'm completely scared that I'll end up a thirty-eight-year-old virgin. Though, you know, not in another galaxy. Which would seriously make it worth it, but life is not that cool.

[maisierita.livejournal.com]

Wow, lovely, lovely, and I really can't believe it, but you made me buy it. Completely. Wow. I wouldn't have thought it could be done.

Excellent read, off to rec.

[elayna88.livejournal.com]

That was a wonderful story. You made John completely believable as a virgin, and Rodney's reactions are just fantastic.

[morceau.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was really moving. Thank you.

[jaekayelle.livejournal.com]

Poor John. Thank goodness Rodney loves him enough to gently coax him out from behind his walls. Entirely believable scenario. Well done!

[clarkangel.livejournal.com]

This should not have been believable. BUT..it was totally fucking FREAKING believable!!! And that's the best compliment I could give. I loved every single word of it. It just FITS Sheppard so beautifully.

[shoemaster.livejournal.com]

It's probably not healthy to want to harm/maim/kill dead fictional characters but they destroyed John. He never had a chance until Rodney came along and was just so him. Dedicated and understanding and persistent of course. Great piece.

[rrrosa.livejournal.com]

I have to probably first say that I don't entirely buy this John or this Rodney. And yet I found this story fascinating and moving--John's distance, Rodney's gentleness, and a man who talks about how he can't touch anyone while his best friend gets closer and closer.

Thanks for sharing!

[misty4me.livejournal.com]

That was just wonderful.