Lost in Waiting by Lacey McBain, NC-17 [Virgin]

[laceymcbain.livejournal.com]

Title: Lost in Waiting
Author: Lacey McBain
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~14,800 (I know!!)
Timeline: Set vaguely in the middle of S2 - definitely post-Runner, but with references to S1.
Summary: "You can’t have it both ways, Colonel. If you haven’t had any relationships, either you’re having the occasional one-night stand or you’re not having sex at all.”
Disclaimer: SGA doesn't belong to me. But you already knew that.
Author Notes:: torakowalski said she'd really like to see a realistic Virgin!John fic, and I got to thinking about it and couldn't stop. I tried my very best. This is for her.

On my webpage because it was too big for one post. Oops.

Lost in Waiting

Feedback makes me happy - multiple times. *G*

ETA: A huge thank you to everyone for reading and commenting. This is the most response I've ever had on a fic, and it's overwhelming in the best possible way. I usually respond to all comments, but I don't think I'll be able to this time, although I'll try to get to as many as possible. Thank you so much. ~Lacey

Comments

[lunasky.livejournal.com]

This was just beautiful. I really loved how realistic you made it - how heart-wrenchingly true it sounded, especially with what we know of John in the show. I loved Rodney to bits - his snark, his sweetness, and the ending was just perfect. Thanks for a great read!

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

I had a wonderful tingly glow all through this. I love how wonderfully patient Rodney is - for Rodney - and oh, poor John.

And somehow, you've explained something essential about John - why he never sees it coming - because he wasn't exposed to love, or desire, or loving relationships.

I also love how Rodney was in love with him from the beginning.

I know I'm kind of incoherent and flailing, but this was just a deeply touching, loving, story. So lovely.

[panisdead.livejournal.com]

Oh, very sweet.

[blacksquirrel.livejournal.com]

Oh wow - I don't know how you did it, but you completely convinced me that John could be a virgin - which I think constitutes a minor miracle. This was aching and sad and wistful and hopeful. Thanks

[chaps1870.livejournal.com]

That is definitely one of the best stories I've read. The portrayals were right on and the virgin thing was made so believable that I found myself swept up in the whole thing. I enjoyed the past as much as the present and the way you did it worked really well.

This is going into the saved file. Outstanding story from start to finish. :)

[omendreamer.livejournal.com]

That made me cry in a "Oh, I have witnessed such beauty," way. Thank you.

[grand-sophy.livejournal.com]

Nice to see a story that acknowledges that sex is important, that it's difficult and complicated, that it's meaningful even when a relationship isn't, that there is an element of sanctity in it, even debased as it has become in modern culture. Lovely John and Rodney characterisations, too, the one showing his vulnerability while still remaining strong, and the other revealing his inner strength through his tenderness. And you're right, this is a realistic Virgin John. Nice job.

[scififreak.livejournal.com]

This is beautiful and haunting and most importantly totally fits with canon and makes sense. Anytime John is touched on screen he looks like he's barely keeping himself from bolting. As someone who has many personal space and touch issues, I recognize it in others and can say that you did a very good job with showing and explaining it. I wish I could adequately explain what this fic did for me, but it's sufficient to say that I loved it.

[silens-unus.livejournal.com]

Wow, this is beautiful. I love the slow realization on John's side and the instantaneous realization on Rodney's. Very real and plausible Virgin!John story. I think my favorite line is

"John's never been people to Rodney"

I think that is exactly how Rodney feels about John, you've nailed it all right on the head. Bravo!

[surranndie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you win. This story made me so sad and happy, it is the perfect, most realistic virgin story I've ever read. Thank you so much! - Surreal

[jimpage363.livejournal.com]

Intriguing! I think you got me to believe it and that took doing.
Nicely written character study of who John's parents could be.

[claire.livejournal.com]

This was beautifully, sadly sweet.

[percysowner.livejournal.com]

That was so beautiful and touching. Your portrayal of John was heartbreaking, and your reason for him still being a virgin was very unique and realistic at the same time.

[rojimouse.livejournal.com]

Oh... oh wow. I'm breathless! This was so beautiful, the emotions and the closness between them.

And the way you deat with John's upbringing and his problems and Rodney's being gay... everything felt perfect... perfectly natural, you could almost say those characters were real. Nothing over-angsty or ridiculous, John's parents weren't abusive, he wasn't raped, he wasn't in too severe a denial. It just never happened to him. And that actually feels believable, that it would simply not occu in real life. Not to mention how, looking at Sheppard in general durin the show, your rendition makes perfect sense.

As for Rodney, personally, I'm a big fan of the idea that, while still being his loud, obnoxious, egotistical and paranoic self, Rodney still handles John differently. That there's something between them, a certain level of comfort and a connection. Rodney's approach was excellent and heartfelt, and, like I said, I very much felt like the both of them were real live people.

Thanks so much for writing this, I loved every bit of it! You're a damn great writer!

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed this fic. It's painful and beautiful, and I like the style in which you wrote it, with sections and tense changes. And the sex at the end was very hot for all that it was minimal - because it was minimal.

[indybrat.livejournal.com]

Gah. I just... *flails* can't find the words to express how I feel about this story. John breaks my heart - the lies, the loneliness, the confusions and then there's Rodney. Rodney being sweet and caring and trying so damn hard to be a good friend and just be there. And, yeah, I just really loved this.

[berlinghoff79.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing,*sniff*!

[flosspyromaniac.livejournal.com]

Never in all my days have I imagined Shep as a virgin. And yet somehow this just worked. The background details on his homelife were a nice touch to explain everything and Rodney's eractions to everything were just gorgeous. This is so beautiful, and the style of the wrting just fits so well. I loved the ending so much ^.^
♥
~Floss

[jssangel.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed this story -

You really made me believe John's situation - which was sort of surprising to me. I never would have thought it of him, but your back-story makes sense with the guy we see on TV.

Either you are right, or he really is a robot!

Thank you for sharing it!

[gaiaanarchy.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for writing this! I was heartfelt and mesmerizing and completely believable. Definitely one of those fics where I go 'Damn, wish I'd written this.' Great job!

[justabi.livejournal.com]

People's parents suck. I never understood that school of thought, and my dad is a preacher, yo, so you'd think I'd have the inside track, but my parents are pretty much horrified when people damage each other with their faith. It's shocking to think that someone could go that long, but I've met some pretty screwed up people who didn't have personal space issues anywhere near John's so, yeah, I totally buy it. I didn't think I would, but I do and that's just all you. So, in conclusion, people suck, you rock and I'm happy.

[grey853.livejournal.com]

Wow, this was very well done, incredibly poignant, and completely in character. You took a concept that I thought wouldn't work with Sheppard and totally made it believable. Excellent job. I hope to read more about these two, see how it works out in the long run.

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

You know, this is a scenario that I have a hard time buying into, but this fic really, really worked for me. you made it very realistic, and you took what we see of John in canon and ran with it and it's really quite fabulous. I love the way Rodney cares for him, and how comfortable John is with him, and it's all kind of sad and hurty and then it isn't and they're happy and so am I. *g* Thank you for sharing this!

[kudra2324.livejournal.com]

gah. so sad, and so beautiful. perfectly wistful at the end.

[kudra2324.livejournal.com]

also, i LOVED this:

he’s just been too scared to read the signs even though Rodney’s been beaming “I’m right here” in neon lights almost since the day they met.

because the idea of rodney beaming anything in neon lights is so true.

[janne-d.livejournal.com]

Ohhhhh. This was wonderful and made me all achy and teary and happy. This was definitely the virgin!John I have been waiting for.