Normal Is What Everyone Else Is, and You Are Not (PG) by Miriel

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

Title: Normal Is What Everyone Else Is, and You Are Not
Author: miriel
Quick-Beta: commodoremarie
Universe: Bridges
Rating: PG
Author's Note: While this falls within the Bridges universe, knowledge of said universe isn't necessary; this takes place within the time period referenced in The Return Part 1, which is before Bridges branches off. The title comes from a quote in "Star Trek: Generations" regarding the definition of normal. 1,241 words.

Summary: For her first two weeks back in Tokyo, Miko lived with her parents.

---

There are many people who would be surprised to learn that upon her return to Earth, Miko really did attempt to live a normal life.

She moved 'home' to Japan, accepted a job with the government in their aerospace design division, and made every attempt to put down roots. Since Atlantis was truly lost to her, it was better to adapt and move on than to wallow in what she had lost.

For her first two weeks in Tokyo, Miko lived with her parents.

It gave her a chance to spend some time with her father, and remember exactly why she'd taken the position in Antarctica in the first place. Following a week of not-so-subtle hints from her mother, Miko even agreed to go on a date. By then, she had stopped flinching quite so hard in the subway or staring at the skyscrapers and waiting for them to change shape. She was proud of herself - only a week in, and already she could pass for normal. Any other quirks could easily be attributed to her time in Antarctica.

Mizukami Tatsuyoshi was a respectable man with a very senior R&D position at Toyota for someone of his age. What surprised Miko more than anything about the blind date was that she liked him. He was attractive; he was polite; he had gone to school in America for a time; he was even an engineer. He, too, was of the age where family pressure to settle down became a serious concern. When their evening ended, he thanked her and asked her to call. She did.

Their third date was two weeks later; a Friday evening in the Asakusa Kanon-do marketplace. It was one of those tasteful-yet-gaudy tourist traps that Miko hadn't visited since grade school, and she agreed to the venue with reservations. The moment she stepped into the bustling marketplace that lined the walk to the temple, however, it became worth it. Because this was familiar, in a way that the rest of Tokyo was not anymore. The press of humanity made sense in a marketplace - all of the worlds they had traded with had them. Almost without thought, she walked straight into the middle of it and closed her eyes, allowing the homesickness to wash over her. It only lasted a moment, however, because even the most idyllic marketplace held hidden dangers, and you never closed your eyes without someone watching your six. When he found her, disoriented in the midst of the central isle, Yosh asked no questions. Instead, he suggested a good sukiyaki place down the street.

In gratitude, and because she was far too old to worry about 'how things are done', she allowed him to take her back to his apartment. It had been years since she had done this, but there was surprisingly little awkwardness. At first. Then they settled on the bed, and her shirt came off, and things changed.

"What happened?" His question was softly spoken, but carried an insistence behind the polite wording. He was staring down at her in the soft light, but she couldn't tell where his eyes were focused.

She shifted, trying to get a better look at where he was staring. There were a few scars, but nothing remarkable. "What do you mean?"

"Your scars. There are so many..."

She frowned in confusion. "There are only a handful; I was one of the lucky ones." The moment she spoke, she knew she'd said to much, but it wasn't as if this would be repeated.

His fingers were gentle as they traced a scar just below her ribs, following the line of hardened tissue and then continuing across her stomach until coming to another, this one from a bullet. "I would hardly call this lucky, Miko."

She looked away, studying the patterns the bedside lamp threw upon the wall. "I'm still alive." She sighed, and her voice grew bitter. "And I'm home, in Tokyo, where I belong. What else could I ask for?"

He pulled away, and she felt the cool air return to her naked skin. "What else indeed." She heard him stand, and turned to follow his movements as he retrieved her shirt from its resting place beside the bed. He smiled, but this time it didn't reach his eyes. "I think you should go home, Miko. You're obviously not where you want to be, and there's only so much I can do about that."

"What do you mean?" She was confused, and wondered if perhaps she'd forgotten more of the 'game' than she had thought.

"You're pretty, Miko, and you're smart, but you're never really here. I've known you for two weeks, and already I can tell it's not going to change. That's not for me."

She sat up, taking the shirt automatically even as she began to protest. "Wait, Yosh, please. I didn't mean... Well, I did mean, but not the way it sounded, and it has nothing to do with you. There are things in my life that are...complicated right now. I'm making changes that are difficult, and sometimes I don't know what I'm saying anymore."

He sighed, and sat next to her on the bed. "I understand that. You told me that first night that you were still adjusting to Japan again, and I was fine with it. But I work an eighty hour week, Miko. I need someone who can support me, and that's not you. I don't think that's ever going to be you. To be blunt, I need a wife, and I don't think that's what you want. I'm sorry, but I can't spend six months on this if it's not going to lead anywhere."

"I...I see. I am sorry, then, for not being what you need." She turned away, and pulled her shirt back on, proud that her voice had stayed level. She fussed with the buttons for several moments, attempting to buy time to compose her thoughts. She didn't know what was wrong with her; she'd faced Doctor McKay in full rant, this shouldn't be this upsetting. Taking a deep breath, she stood and faced Yosh, who was leaning against the desk with his hands in his pockets and his shirt hanging open. "I believe it would be best if we do not see each other again. You are a good man, but as you say - I am not what you need. Your time is valuable, and I have no wish to waste any more of it."

She didn't wait for his response - didn't need to hear it. As she walked to the nearest subway, she cursed herself for being so foolish. Who was she to believe that she could leave Atlantis behind? The next morning, she put in a request for a position on the Daedalus. She might as well be useful, if she couldn't be where she belonged.

~ Finis ~

Comments

[shara50.livejournal.com]

Poor Miko, lovely story.

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And hey, Miko at least does go back to Atlantis 3 weeks later, and then sets up the Earth-side grassroots organization for the rest of the survivors. It's just that it took that unfortunate experience to realize that she's never really going to fit in, even as well as she did before, and she's better off just acknowledging it and moving on.

[canadian-plant.livejournal.com]

Just commenting to say that really loved this :-)

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

*G* Yay!

I wrote it while sick w/ the flu, too. I was kind of worried that it isn't nearly as coherent as I think it is

[druidspell.livejournal.com]

Oh, Miko. You first broke me with her when you did "Glimpses of the Edge." Because a Miko without Atlantis isn't ever going to be a whole Miko anymore, not after what they went through and survived in the city. Now she's surrounded by almost an entire planet of people who will never really understand what she survived, what she gained, what she lost, and what she wants so badly to have again that she'd do anything to get it back. What's worse, she's stuck on that one planet, cut off from the Gate, surrounded by millions of people who don't even realize that the Gate system exists.
And trying to live a "normal" life on Earth... after Atlantis, it was always destined to fail, for Miko, because she's a Lantean, not an Earthling.

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

Love the icon *G*

It's not that Miko would never be able to adapt to life on Earth again? But it will take years, not weeks or months, before she can have a normal relationship.

Originally I wanted to do a fic (wasn't sure if I wanted Weir or Heightmeyer or Miko) about scars and how perceptions of scars change.

How when X was a child, you gathered scars in sports and day-to-day life and you never minded talking about them when people inevitably asked. Then they went to Atlantis, and scars were very much a part of day-to-day life but they didn't matter in the same way because everyone had them and a lot of the time they were reminders of friends who had died or missions gone wrong.

It kind of morphed into this, somehow. I still kind of want to do the other, eventually. Maybe I'll do Heightmeyer self-analyzing her scars and her body or something.

[druidspell.livejournal.com]

*g*
I love your Heightmeyer, so I hope it turns out that you do write the story. Plus, a look at Heightmeyer's childhood would make me all kinds of happy. :)

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm going to be doing a Heightmeyer piece for the "Why X Came to Atlantis" challenge eventually, but this might happen first. Good to know there's interest!

[ratcreature]

*sniffle*

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

*Passes you a tissue*

[emeraldsword.livejournal.com]

I liked it - you got the impossibility of fitting in again down very well. Good job.

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

Thanks! That's actually what almost half of the "Bridges" series has evolved into being about - for every story set in the newly independent Atlantis, there's another set on Earth about those left behind, and their fight for self-identity and sanity in a world that is as foreign to them in a lot of ways as Hoff or Taranis. After all, how do you force yourself to fit into a mold that you have learned is obsolete?

I'm really glad you enjoyed this ^_^

[wychwood]

Poor Miko. I like the scene in the marketplace especially. And the engineer is interesting... I like him, and I think he's right that he and Miko won't work, but I was a little surprised by his comment about needing support - she's highly qualified and employed in an important job, but she's still supposed to be the one holding *him* up? Pfft. She'll be better off back at the SGC *g*.

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

Asakusa Kanon-Do Marketplace just stood out in my mind as somewhere that Miko might feel at home - it's this massive old Buddhist temple, and because of the laws in the Tokugawa Era, it became a major trade center b/c one of the reasons you could get your travel papers approved was pilgrimage. So there's this whole avenue of tent-stalls for like 3 blocks stretching out in front of it about 5 aisles wide.

He's a guy, and he is Japanese. He's going to have at least a touch of the belief that a wife needs to support the husband, and not the other way around.

Well, she ends up working as an SGC consultant from Japan, and heading Japan's science delegation in global IOA-type meetings in between her tours with the Daedalus. She does 6-months on, 6-off with the Daedalus as their new chief engineer (since Novak vanished into Atlantis), and due to the lack of operations in the Pegasus Galaxy, she spends a lot more time on Earth (which is good, b/c she does have a grass-roots organization to run, as well as an ailing father).

I respect Miko for keeping her head up and getting the hell out, too. Learning to cut & run is probably another skill she picked up in Pegasus.

[springwoof.livejournal.com]

oh Miko!
this story is so bitter, no sweet...

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

Aah, but Miko's arc within Bridges does have at least a touch of honey, so things do get better. Heck, Miko was the one who led to the whole massive not-quite-running-joke about Atlantis Paintball!!

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

Oh, poor Miko. *cries for her*

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

At least you can take heart that she learned that Atlantis was at least still an option for her 4 weeks later, even if she knew she'd have to wait a while.

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

Very true. But in the meantime-{{hugs Miko}}

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

Oh, so totally.

[shalom]

That was very nicely done. Subtle and soft, but with strength of her character underneath. I enjoyed how she unconsciously looked for the familiar and then found it in the chaos and bustle of the marketplace.

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

Well, and there's a degree of the odd in where she does find the familiar, because for all intents and purposes you'd expect a busy shopping place to set off warning bells, because she hasn't been around that many people in 3 years. But in Tokyo, she's always around that many people, so it's circumstance and situation rather than number (but then, that was kind of apparent int the fic. Excuse me while I re-state the obvious; I've got the flu).

I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and saw what you were intended to see. Thanks for commenting!

[djinanna.livejournal.com]

Oh, Miko. Even when he's not what you want, rejection still hurts. Being found wanting - well, for someone who not only "survived" McKay, but was undoubtedly hand-picked by him at some point in the process, well, *hmph*!

At least the Daedalus is a little like home. And the position will prove very helpful in what's to come (as we've already seen in other Bridges 'verse stories.

I suppose Yoshi should just be glad she hasn't yet found her inner paintball warrior yet.... *g*

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

It was a slap in the face for Miko, and to have it done so callously and (to her) out of the blue (for him, the withdrawal during foreplay was kind of the last straw, but we'll not get into that).

Yup. If she'd never re-assigned to the Daedalus she would never have known about the defection of the command staff and declaration of independence from Atlantis. And when she left Atlantis that last time, it was with the knowledge that can at least do some good on Earth, instead of living a life without purpose. She can begin preparations for the day that Atlantis renews contact, and until then she can help the others like herself to survive the 2-5 year projected gap.

[saphanibaal.livejournal.com]

You do the best worldbuilding. Seriously. For SGA. The best. I want to grow up to be you.

Also: MIKO!

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

*Blushes so hard she passes out*

Also: Miko 4 Captain! Last Minute Miracles, 2009!
You totally know that Miko plays dirty, because she takes her paintball very seriously. The Last Minute Miracles and the Brass always end up head-to-head in the finals the annual Pegasus Survivors Paintball Tournament (http://www.mardahin.net/sga/Bridges/brochure.html). Yeah, so I've possibly built this world just a little too in-depth. It's a curse.

[saphanibaal.livejournal.com]

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

Isn't world-building fun??

*Grins like a maniac*

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

BTW, you want to talk world-building?

I am a sick, sick person (http://miriel.livejournal.com/354717.html?mode=reply).

Review

[(Anonymous)]

Wonderful vignette.

--Silverthreads

Re: Review

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

Thanks!