[identity profile] slybrarian.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] sga_flashfic
Title: Recommended Stress Relief
Author: [livejournal.com profile] slybrarian
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard/Lorne
Words: 4,538
Series: Dramatic Exit
Author's notes: Beta by [livejournal.com profile] archae_ology and [livejournal.com profile] scifinut. So, uh, yeah. I seem to have written a third response to this challenge. Follows up on two previous flashfic entries that people thought I should do more with, Still Alive! and Mild Inconvenience. So it's totally legal... please don't kill me.
Summary: In which the city, being ever-helpful, decides that Doctor McKay needs some stress relief.

----------

statistics@atlantis:~$ Analysis complete. Performance degradation over last month: 3.7%
intellect@atlantis:~$ Probable Causes?
med_psych@atlantis:~$ Primary Causes: Sexual Frustration, Jealously (J.Sheppard, E.Lorne), Work-Related Stress (Asimov, Starship, Power Generation of)
intellect@atlantis:~$ Suggested treatments?
med_psych@atlantis:~$ Traditional Alteran Treatment: Meditation. Suggested Human Treatment: Sexual Intercourse
intellect@atlantis:~$ Hmmm. I can work with that.

-----

It was mid-afternoon on Atlantis, and John Sheppard and Rodney McKay were sitting in one of Rodney's less important labs, doing science and generally endeavoring to make life better for everyone in Atlantis and possibly the rest of the human race as well. One of them was doing that, at least. The other, perhaps not so much.

"All I'm saying," John was saying to Rodney as the lab door slid open, "is that the Midnighter kicks people's heads off. You've got to respect that."

"Sir?" John's executive officer and lover, Evan Lorne, leaned into the lab. "I hope I'm not interrupting something important, but I couldn't help but notice you were in here and not headed to the battalion staff meeting. You know, the one that's in ten minutes?"

"Please, take him," Rodney said, not even looking up from his laptop as he waved his hand like he was brushing away a distracting fly. "Maybe I'll get some work done."

"Aww, Rodney." John hopped off his stool and shook his head. "Sometimes I get the feeling you don't like me."

"Whatever." Rodney continued to stare at the screen and ignore John, and the officer rolled his eyes and started to leave. He was almost to the door when Rodney said, "Hey, that's cool."

John paused, turned around, and asked, "What's cool?"

"I've been database crawling with our friend the computer," Rodney told him, "and I think I just found something really interesting."

If Rodney thought it was interesting, then in John's opinion it was worth being a little late to a meeting. He ambled back to the lab station, with Evan rolling his eyes in exasperation and following behind him. He knew better than to let John get started investigating something and trust him to find his way to the conference room without someone to help him along, not when Rodney started to get a gleam in his eye.

"What's up?" John asked.

"If I'm right - and of course I am - I think we may have just solved the Asimov's power issues," Rodney said happily. Asimov was the small starship slowly being assembled on the east pier. It was roughly the length of a large jetliner and resembled either a metal brick or a remote control, depending on who was asked - a brick or remote with oversized engines and covered with railguns and missile tubes. It was the expedition's attempt to become less dependent on visiting cruisers, because even with the fleet growing support was intermittent at best. The name was compromise, as no one wanted to start off yet another Trekkie versus Warsie battle over what to call it.

"Power problems?" John asked, raising an eyebrow. "Since when has it had power problems?"

"Well, the generator we're planning to use right now is perfectly adequate, at least for puttering around Pegasus or powering a few railguns" Rodney said, although he knew that should have gone without saying given who'd designed the thing, "but for a fast intergalactic trip, real shields, or a big energy weapon, well, it just won't cut it."

Rodney spun his laptop around to show a glassy, spherical object that looked vaguely like big marble. "This? This is something much, much better. It's sorta like a mini-ZPM, only not so much mini. Or like a ZPM, really, although it works on vaguely the same principle."

John and Evan exchanged a questioning look, then John nodded. "Mini-ZPM."

"Actually, no, forget the ZPM thing entirely; it's nothing like a ZPM at all." Rodney tried to think of an adequate dumbed-down explanation and quickly decided that it was more worth his time to study the diagram in front of him. He snapped his fingers. "Mike. Explain."

"No problem, boss," a voice from nowhere said. It was low and melodious, female but somehow vaguely androgynous at the same time. "A potentia is a battery of sorts - once kick-started, it generates its own power. A phase disc is more of a capacitor, storing energy as a matrix of paired matter and anti-matter particles held in a twisted and compressed phased subspace pocket dimension."

"So... it’s like powering a model plane with a rubber band, rather than an engine?" Evan asked.

There were matching organic and machine sighs, and Mike said, "Yes. Quite. Very clever analogy, sir. In any case, the phase disc also taps several layers of subspace as it works, making it super-efficient -- it returns more power than is put in. Very useful, as you might imagine."

"And by very, it means extraordinarily useful," Rodney added. "Rather clever setup, really. You charge it up using low-power generators, hell, even solar cells, and then when you need lots of power you just turn it on."

John nodded in understanding. "So you could use standard power for normal operations, then use this disc thingy for systems that eat a lot of power for a short time."

"That was a typical setup," Mike went on. "While they do not provide nearly the same maximum output or carry the same total energy as a standard potentia --"

Rodney clapped his hands and finished, "-- they're perfect for a little ship like this. I bet we could use them for other things, too. Say, to dial the gate intergalactic without taxing the ZPM, saving it for things that we really need it for, like the shield."

"Wait a second," John said with a slight frown as his brain caught up with his ears and reminded him that this was Ancient technology and there had to be catch. "If these things are this useful, why haven't we heard of them before?"

Mike's tone grew slightly shifty. "Well, they were never widely popular due to manufacturing complications, and in general either a standard ship's engine or naquadah generator was more than adequate, or a potentia was used instead. This was especially true when the major potentia charging centers such as the Icarus Array were operational and turning out many of them. In fact, they stopped being created several millennia before the Wraith war. Likely all were lost during the conflict or intervening years."

"Right," John said non-plussed. "I'm guessing there's something more than that."

"Honestly, and people call me a pessimist," Rodney said, already thinking up how best to integrate the new device into the ship's existing power grid.

"I've been reading about the war," Evan said, his eyes narrowing slightly. It was something many of the officers did in their spare time, trying to see mistakes the Ancients had made in order to avoid repeating them. It wasn't terribly easy at times, because the records and histories the Ancients had left were not always the most objective sources. "After the Wraith started blowing up ZPM centers, the Ancients needed power pretty badly. What kind of manufacturing difficulties are we talking here?"

"Ah. Aha. Yes," Mike said. "Well, you see, when being formed the devices require the input of certain kinds of psychic energy, in order to build and stabilize the interdimensional power taps. The higher the, ah, creators' ATA-interface capability and the closer to Ascension they were, the better the final product."

"Okay," John said slowly, "but if people close to going glowy are better, why wouldn't they have made more."

"The, ah, activity required to generate that sort of energy became, uh. Rather unpopular. It was too physical, a distraction from mental enlightenment. However! It's really quite harmless, rather enjoyable I'm given to understand, certainly rather popular among your people. All that is needed is for the manufacturing unit to be activated and a remote collector placed in the user's presence during the, ah, act. Very easy. Yes."

"Oh God," Evan said, ducking his head and rubbing his forehead as he read between the lines. He looked up again and said, "It wants us to fuck."

"Please, that doesn't even make any sense," Rodney protested loudly, because the idea was ridiculous. "I mean, physics doesn't work that way."

"Ah, well, actually Lieutenant Colonel Lorne is quite correct," Mike said, its voice slightly higher-pitched than usual.

"Oh," Rodney said, looking dumbstruck.

"Huh," was John reaction.

"I've already taken the liberty of preparing both devices," Mike said helpfully. "And even delivered the collector to Colonel Sheppard's quarters. He has the strongest connection to the city, after all, and has asc- is very close to ascension."

John slowly began to grin. "Well, that's a relief. I was worrying it'd be something horrible."

Rodney, by contrast, had completely deflated at the news. It figured John would find a way to take his discovery and one-up him with it, and in a way that involved sex, no less. "Wonderful. Since this apparently doesn't involve me, you two can go ahead and leave. I'm sure you're eager to screw around even more now that you have an excuse."

John's smile disappeared as well when it became obvious that Rodney wasn't pleased at all. Mike quickly spoke up once more. "I hasten to add, that even with his artificial gene, Doctor McKay is the second closest to ascension in the city. The two of you would greatly increase the output of the device."

"In case you haven't noticed, Sheppard's taken by his grunt," Rodney said scathingly. The city couldn't possibly not have noticed, he knew, because it had eyes everywhere. The Ancient's hadn't called it 'Rumor' for nothing. "Unless my hand and I are going to be useful, you'll have to be content with them."

"Adding a third to the gestalt would be even better," the city said, a mild tinge of desperation present in its voice. "Lots of power, isn't that great, guys?"

Evan looked conflicted for a moment, then glanced between John and Rodney. ""Well... I wouldn't object to that." The statement drew two incredulous looks from his companions, and he was forced to admit, "It was pretty fun last time and that was mostly frottage and handjobs. We could try more this time around."

"What, really?" Rodney blurted out, while John asked, "You sure?"

Evan nodded and shrugged while looking at John. "Also, there's something pretty hot about the idea of watching you get fucked. Just saying."

John didn't know whether he should be pleased or offended. "Wait, who says I'm the one who'd get fucked? Oh, don't you two look at me like that. I top all the time."

"We'll see," Evan said dryly, in a tone that seemed to imply, 'whatever you say, John'.

Rodney still had a surprised look on his face, and he stammered out, "Uh. Okay. That... that's great."

"Tell you what; you meet us in John's quarters around ten. We can fit three on the new bed, no problem." Evan watched Rodney nod jerkily, and realized the other man might need a little time to adjust to the idea. He tugged on John's sleeve. "Come on, sir. We've got to go, or we'll be late for the meeting. I'm sure the doc has a lot he wants to do anyways."


That snapped Rodney out of his daze. "Right, right. I need to talk to Zelenka and the new guy, Hagman or whatever, figure out where to stick this thing. You two carry on, and I'll, ah, see you tonight."

John and Evan withdrew, and as they walked John leaned in close to say, "You don't have to do this, you know."

"Don't worry about it," Evan replied easily. "It'll be fun."

Rodney showed up late, of course. He had extremely important work to do, after all, like supervising the repairs on the northwest aquatic gardens after they'd been molested by amorous fire-squid again, and then there's been dinner, and more work, and if he'd taken a shower and then paced inside his room for a good twenty minutes, it was no one's business but his. When he'd finally reached John's quarters he barged right in, and then promptly came to a dead stop. The door slid shut behind him, even as Rodney's eyes widened and he thought to himself that it was probably a good thing John's new, huge bed wasn't right in front of the door anymore, because anyone passing by could have gotten an eyeful.

John was on his knees at the head of the bed, leaning against the wall for support as he worked two fingers into his ass. He arched slightly and the long lines of his back rippled as he slipped a third in, before he turned his head and looked at Rodney with lust-darkened eyes and a broad grin.

"Hey," he said, voice deep and husky, "I was starting to think you wouldn't show."

Rodney's mind worked through a million replies, anything from 'guh' to 'fuck that's hot' to 'I was busy', until he finally settled on, "Are you insane? Anyone could have walked in!"

"Door's keyed to just you," Evan said, causing Rodney to jump as he spotted him slouching against the wall a few feet from the door. He was naked except for a pair of white briefs and the ever-present dog tags. "Hope you don't mind that we got started, but you know how he is some times."

John pulled his fingers free with an exaggerated grunt and his smile grew even wider as Rodney's attention immediately returned to him. He turned around so the other two could see his dick standing straight out from the thick hair around it.

"Proper preparation is the key to air power," he quipped. "I figured I'd save us some time for the real fun."

"Right," Rodney said faintly. "Very, uh, very thoughtful of you, Sheppard."

"You're wearing too much," Evan said, coming up behind Rodney. Rodney nodded quickly and bent over to untie his shoes, drawing an appreciative glance at his ass from Evan, then pulled his shirt off and tossed it to the floor. Evan reached around him, undid his fly, and shucked off both his pants and boxers in one move. Rodney's already-hardening cock jumped at the unexpected brush of fabric across it, and he shivered as much from anticipation as from the unexpected exposure. Evan had to give him a gentle shove to get him moving and Rodney stumbled over to the bed.

John reached out and cupped Rodney's head, bringing him down into a soft kiss. "Missed this," he murmured against his lips.

"Same here," Rodney replied without thinking. He shot Evan a look to see how he took that, but Evan simply settled himself into a nearby armchair. Emboldened he went on, "It's been way too long. Way, way too long."

They kissed again, more passionately and for longer this time, with John's tongue teasingly darting past Rodney's lips. After a minute John reached between them and gripped Rodney's cock. It was hot and familiar in his hand, and with a few slow teasing strokes it was soon rock hard. John broke the kiss and leaned in to whisper into Rodney's ear.

"So, I figure we could keep doing this a while," he said, his stubble scraping against Rodney's smooth cheek as he spoke, "or we could give Evan there the show he's waiting for."

Rodney swallowed. "Not that this isn't fun, but it's been a while and I wouldn't trust myself not to, well, you know a little earlier than we'd want, and at my age I can't exactly get it up again instantly so --"

"Rodney." John put a finger against his lips to stop him before he said something embarrassing. He inched backwards to the center of the bed where he dropped to his hands and knees. Rodney had to tear his eyes away from the sight to deal with more practical concerns.

"Where's the lube?" Rodney asked.

"Nightstand on the right, top drawer," Evan replied from behind him. "Condoms, too. John says they're the right size for you."

"Huh." Rodney didn't think about that statement too much and just went over to the nightstand. The top drawer slid open before he'd even touched it, revealing a tube of lube, a box of condoms, and a long red dildo. His eyes went wide and he glanced over at John, getting a knowing smirk in return. Rodney refused to be flustered - more than he already was, at least - and tore open a condom packet, rolling the rubber onto himself and tossing the wrapper into a small trashcan next to the stand. He squirted some lube on next and spread it around, then climbed up onto the bed and got behind John, running his hands around John's back and thighs.

"Come on, Rodney," John said, drawling the name out.

"Stop whining, Sheppard." Rodney positioned his cock at John's entrance, put his hand on John's hips, and then slowly pressed inside. He slipped in easily and buried himself balls-deep in one easy stroke. Both men gasped softly, then Rodney hesitantly pulled back and thrust in again.

"Oh, wow, you're tight," he murmured, voice low and appreciative. He shot a glance to his right at Evan. He was watching them intently, but other than the noticeable bulge in his briefs he looked even more relaxed than before. Reassured that he wasn't about to be pummeled by an angry boyfriend, Rodney grew more confident and began fucking John in earnest. After a minute he settled into a slow, steady, sustainable pace, thrusting into John with long strokes and pulling almost all the way out before thrusting in again. It'd been years since they'd done this properly, since they'd had more than a hurried and usually fucked-up off-world encounter, but they were already slipping into a comfortable and familiar pattern. Rodney concentrated and varied his angle a little, and grinned as he got a pleased grunt.

"Fuck, Rodney," John moaned, as Rodney's cock brushed over his prostate a second time. "Yeah, like that. Come on, faster, harder."

John rocked back and Rodney couldn't help but thrust a little harder before getting back into his pace. He asked, "Eager, aren't you?"

It was Evan who replied huskily, "Isn't he always?"

"Can't imagine how I'd forgotten."

"I hate you -" John broke off, gasped, then went on, "- hate you both so much. Oh, fuck, do that again, Rodney."

Rodney tried to keep going but he could feel his control slipping and his thrusts were getting increasingly ragged. Evan stood, slipped out of his briefs, and climbed onto the bed to kneel at John's side, where he could see Rodney slipping in and out of John when he looked one way and see John's blissed-out expression when he looked the other.

"God, you two are beautiful like this," he said. He put a hand on Rodney's hip to feel it tense and flex as he fucked John and ran his other hand up John's side and then down to his chest. He tweaked John's nipple, eliciting a small gasp, then ran his hand back the other way along John's stomach until he reached where John's cock was hanging low and full.

"Don't you dare," John growled. Evan chuckled and gave it a brief stroke, and John's ass clenched down on Rodney. That was all it took to break him.

"John," he whispered before moaning low as he came. His hips twitched and jerked a few times and then he slumped over John's back, breathing raggedly.

After a few moments Rodney pulled back and flopped bonelessly at John's side, absent-mindedly discarding the filled condom the trash can. Evan lubed up his own dick and nudged John's hip until the other man got the idea and rolled onto his back. Evan lifted John's legs up over his shoulders and lined up his glistening cock with John's entrance, then slowly pressed inside. John closed his eyes and gasped softly as his ass stretched around it with a pleasant burn. He could have told the difference between the two men without even looking, Rodney a little longer, Evan a little thicker.

Evan gave him a few moments to adjust and began to fuck him, slow at first and building up speed. John was still tight around his cock, his hole hot and slick and Evan bit his lip to distract himself from the intense feeling. He knew he couldn't last too long, not after watching Rodney and John, and so he started to pound into John hard and fast. Each time he slammed home John's cock jumped, and it was dripping copiously.

Rodney had recovered a little and propped himself up to watch, his eyes fixed on John's cock. Evan saw him lick his lips and asked, "You want to suck him?"

"Hell, yes," Rodney replied, scrambling to turn and get into position. He licked a line across John's cock, making him shiver, and then swallowed it down. The angle wasn't perfect but Rodney didn't care at all, and he delighted in the heavy, hot weight of the cock on his tongue and the salty taste of the leaking precome. He tried to start sucking but every time Evan thrust John would rock up, so Rodney relaxed and just let John fuck his mouth.

"You guys are gonna kill me," John groaned. Between Evan's hard cock up his ass and Rodney's mouth around him, he was blissed out and flying so high he could barely form a coherent thought. He could feel a tightness pooling in his gut and managed to keep just enough control to push back and tighten his ass down.

"Fuck, John," Evan gasped. His hands tightened down on John's thighs so tight he left bruises as he fought against climaxing and lost. He gave a last few ragged, deep thrusts as he filled John with his come then slumped forward a little, rocking gently and murmuring, "John, John, John."

"Evan," John mumbled back, rubbing the back on Evan's hand where it rested on John's thigh.

Having spent himself Evan withdrew and let John's legs fall, before he dropped to his own hands and knees to crawl up the bed a little and sit at John's side. He caressed John's hair while watching Rodney continue to suck John's cock, and John looked back up at him with half-lidded eyes and a smug smirk that Evan recognized well. It was a mix of triumph and bliss that he'd seen every time John suddenly decided to demonstrate just how much self-control he could have when he felt like it.

"Okay, you outlasted us both, good for you," he murmured in a teasing voice as he stroked John's chest, his fingers rubbing through the hair and across a nipple and tangling with the chain of his tags. "You can give in and come if you're done being stubborn."

John didn't need much encouragement. Rodney was good with his mouth, no surprise there, really, really good, and without Evan rocking John's body he could really put that skill to good use. His tongue teased at the tip of John's cock, swiped around the head, and then there was the slightest hint of teeth and John was coming. He threw his head back and let out a low, inarticulate moan, gripping Rodney's head with one hand and finding one of Evan's with his other. After a few long moments he finished and relaxed again, sprawling out over an improbably large area until he seemed like he'd been half-melted. Rodney looked up at Evan, panting slightly and tired but extremely pleased with himself. There were a few drops of come on his lips and Evan reached across John to pull Rodney into a kiss, swiping his tongue across his lips and into his mouth before letting him slump back down at John's side.

After a few minutes Evan got out of the bed and visited the bathroom to clean himself up, returning a few moments later with a pair of towels and a damp washcloth. He tossed one towel to Rodney, who mumbled something that might have been thanks if he'd been more awake, or perhaps not - he wasn't exactly in the habit of saying "thank you", after all. Rodney started to dry off his sweat before he could get all sticky while Evan did the same with John. The man didn't react beyond rolling his head a little, and only mumbled a bit when Evan gently turned him over and used the rag to wipe lube and a trace of come from his ass. Then he started to gently snore, which made Evan smile and press a soft kiss to his temple.

Watching the pair, Rodney was suddenly reminded that, as close as he and John were, he was still an outsider there. He'd had his chance with John and blown it even worse than he'd blown it with Katie, and now the better man had won. He sighed softly to himself and slid off the bed, intent on taking the chance to leave before things got awkward. He slipped into his boxers and started to reach for his other clothes when a hand gently clasped his wrist.

"Going somewhere?" Evan quietly asked.

"I just - we've done what we set out to do," Rodney said defensively, trying to keep his voice down. "I figured you'd want me gone."

Evan's lips quirked upwards and he shook his head. "I'm not that big of a bastard, you know. Come back to bed."

"Really?" Rodney suddenly realized he might need to clarify which part he was referring to, but even in the dim light he could see Evan roll his eyes and he decided that if the man couldn't figure it out, it wasn't his problem.

"Yes, really. I'm not so insecure with John that I'm going to toss you out in the cold." Evan shrugged. He'd known from the start the two men were a package deal of sorts, although not in quite this way. "You're a good guy underneath, McKay, and I'll even admit to liking you. Don't let it go to your head."

"Oh." Rodney stood there for a few seconds, pondering that, until Evan gave his arm a tug and he relented. Rodney slipped back into his place beside John, and Evan settled in on the other side while dragging the sheets up to cover them all. John snuffled softly and Rodney hesitantly put one arm over his back. Evan laid his own alongside it a moment later.

"By the way," Evan said, "we have to get up before dawn to sneak out. Secrecy and all that."

"Maybe I'll leave after all," Rodney mumbled back. He didn't make a move to get up, though, and soon all three men were asleep.

-----

intellect@atlantis:~$ Objective achieved.
intellect@atlantis:~$ Evaluation: Triumph! Note: Huge success!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-03 07:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] celtic-tigress.livejournal.com
I just burst into hysterical laughter every time you make a reference to that game through intellect!Atlantis. Seriously awesome. *eg*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-03 02:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilyoftheval5.livejournal.com
Interesting 'aliens-made-them-do-it' variation. ;3
Also, thank you for bringing that game to my notice; not the mention the return of 'intellect@atlantis'. Yay for that!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-03 06:18 pm (UTC)
ext_1246: (Default)
From: [identity profile] dossier.livejournal.com
Oh man, I adore the meddling intellect/psyche of Atlantis, and have to send big bouquets because mckay/sheppard/lorne? mmmmm. sweet funny and charming, thank you !

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-04 01:27 am (UTC)
mf_luder_xf: (SGA McKay high)
From: [personal profile] mf_luder_xf
GOD. GUH. *IZ DED*

\o/

Date: 2008-03-04 06:55 am (UTC)
shaddyr: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shaddyr
Bwahahahaha!

They just need cake now.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-04 04:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tiki-92090.livejournal.com
oh man, i loved it, the hilarity of Atlantis' "Mike" and the dynamics of Evan and McKay and John. man, i loved it, thanks for writing.

SQUEE!!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-05 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reen212000.livejournal.com
I've been given a pleasant picture in my head. *sigh*

Thanks Mike, er, sly!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-06-04 05:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tktrix.livejournal.com
love it, I like that even though lorns' cool with the situation, John is still his. He's awesome like that.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-06-05 02:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tktrix.livejournal.com
hee, I almost spit out my water reading the pilot/pilot thing, and hells yes it is the only way to fly. When you take two hot pilots, it doesnt matter what you do, its just hott. My next set of buisness I think will be to get me a good lorne/shep icon, so I can comment on your fics proper, lol.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-06-05 03:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tktrix.livejournal.com
hee, the shippyness is awesome. I've also got a little Jack/Sky and Ban/Hoji, but I'm not sure if you've seen them, dont worry tho lol, there hawt as well, and yey! for Helo/Athena!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-06-05 02:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tktrix.livejournal.com
oh, and thanks for the friend! I'm kind of slow to update, but I feel the love, :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-27 09:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rebeccasmask.livejournal.com
Wait, what's all this about John having ascended?
Great story.

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