Five converstations (that didn't happen)

[less-star.livejournal.com]

Title: Five conversations (that didn't happen)
Author: less_star
Word Count: 1300
Rating: G
Characters: Rodney, others
Spoilers: The last man

A/N: I just can't get poor alternate timeline!Rodney out of my head. This was very rushed, because I only get ideas for challenges just as they're about to close, so please tell me if you spot any mistakes.

 

1 All of SG-1 come to Sam’s funeral, of course. General O’Neill makes a short, almost impersonal speech and disappears quickly, his arm around someone who Rodney thinks may be Janet Fraiser’s daughter. Daniel Jackson keeps taking his glasses off to rub at his eyes. Rodney looks at Teal’c, tries to judge if there’s any risk of dismemberment, or something but the man just stares ahead. In a sharp black suit and fedora he looks more alien than ever.

Rodney almost thinks better of it, but he has to do this, he promised and after the service he goes up to Teal’c, trying not to notice the way Sam’s brother is glaring at the military contingent, and everyone around them.

“Ah, uh…hey, ah mr…”what was it they used to call him, again. It was something of a joke around the SGC when Rodney was last there “…uh, Murray?” Well, that must be right because he turns around slowly and Rodney takes a step back. He made a sound call, all those years ago when Teal’c was stuck in the stargate buffer, but still…

“Dr McKay.”

“Yes? I, I mean…uh, look, I’ve got something for you.” The letter is in his pocket, a little wrinkled and smudged, but it’s made the journey from Pegasus, after all. He just shoves it at Teal’c and it’s the only time he’s seen the man look anything close to apprehensive. “I, I cleaned out Sam’s quarters, and…It’s for you, obviously, it was in her desk and your name’s on it, as you can see and, well…I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Teal’c turns the envelope in his big hands. Rodney looks away, at the crowd, all those generals and suddenly all he can think of is that the coffin is empty. He wants to get away, fast.

“Thank you. For bringing me this.”

“Ah, well…I’m sorry” he says again, he doesn’t really know what he’s sorry for, at this point. Did he ever know Sam at all?

“I am sorry, too” Teal’c says.

 

2 John’s brother looks nothing like him, Rodney thinks. His office is big and tastefully furnished. The air conditioner makes him shiver. Dave Sheppard has that calm, perfect politeness that Rodney never learned how to deal with. He’s never been able to fit in with those people and it seems it grows worse with every passing year.

Rodney babbles, he knows it. There’s nothing in Dave’s eyes to tell if he’s really listening. Rodney never realized before today just how important it is to him that John’s brother understands. He has to make him understand that John is a hero.

After nearly half an hour Dave leans forward, suddenly businesslike and Rodney is tired and miserable enough that he actually responds, grows quiet like he’s supposed to and he hates himself for it. The rest of the meeting is quick and impersonal. Rodney assures Dave that both ms Emmagen and mr Dex are deceased and that he himself doesn’t want whatever it is that John left him. The thought that they were all in John’s will is so unsettling that he doesn’t get around to explaining that John isn’t dead at all.

When he’s out on the street he thinks he ought to go back in and try again, but he thinks better of it. Dave’s secretary probably wouldn’t let him in anyway.

 

3 Daniel Jackson looks at the memory stick like he’s unsure what to do with it. Rodney hates being back at the SGC and just wants to get out. Surely it’s not that complicated. He always thought Jackson was smart, for someone in the soft sciences.

“Look, it’s all in there. I wrote down everything I remembered while I was on the Daedalus, and the rest is what we found in the database regarding Sateda, and dr Gonzales’ work on the Athosians. You know, uh, oral history, and stuff.”

“OK, but…”Jackson trails off.

“I’m well aware that I’m no anthropologist but I was CSO on Atlantis for four years and I had to read, I mean, I read their work so I’d say I’m familiar enough with the style that it…”

“No, no, I’m sure you did a good job on writing it up, it’s just…well…I understand that Sateda was essentially wiped off the map years ago, right? No survivors - except for Dex.” And he’s dead now, Rodney thinks. All dead. Daniel continues as if he’s picking up on Rodney’s thoughts “And regarding the Athosian community, according to reports…”

“No survivors.” Rodney cuts him off. He read those reports too, wrote some of them. “But that’s my point, there’s no-one left now, no-one will remember…” He barely remembers himself. Only camp fire stories, and god, he never really listened, just fiddled with his damn devices, Ronon’s and Teyla’s stories just a comforting background hum. “It might be important” he finishes weakly.

Jackson looks tired, Rodney realizes. Older, and maybe a little disillusioned. It scares him, more than anything else he’s seen at the SGC.

“No, you’re right, of course” Jackson’s saying and there’s a look of understanding in his eyes. “It might be important. There’s very little known about the inhabitants of the Pegasus galaxy, every little piece helps. That was good thinking, writing down what they…what you learned. I’ll have someone look at it immediately.”

“Thank you.” And there’s that look of understanding, again. Rodney wishes he could understand, too.

 

4 Jennifer’s always cold, now. He asks for extra blankets until she’s bundled up in the infirmary bed, but she still shivers. She’d be more comfortable at home, but they won’t release her. He’s been sitting by her bedside for a long time. Just watching her sleep and holding her tiny, cold hand. She’s breathing evenly, and that has to be good, right?

He promised her he wouldn’t try to change anything, but he can’t stop thinking about it. It could work, it really could. There’s a lot that needs to be done, of course, but soon he won’t have anything else.

“Rodney?”

The light hurts her eyes, so she mostly keeps them closed. “Yeah, I’m here.” He touches her cheek. “How are you?”

“m cold”

He lowers the railing and climbs into bed with her without a thought. They moved her to an almost-private corner of the infirmary three days ago, right after they told Rodney she was dying. She curls up against him as he shifts the blankets to cover both of them.

“Better?”

“Better.” She shivers as she says it, though. He holds her, strokes her head, over her back, feels how thin she is now.

“Promise me” she says suddenly.

“I promise.”

 

5 Satsuko Zelenka makes a pretty bride. Her dress is light pink. Madison wore white two, no, three years before.

“She looks happy” Rodney tells Radek and Miko, because it seems like the thing to say. He talks so little with other people these days that when he does say anything it sounds strange to him.

Miko starts crying again, but she’s been doing that all day. Radek beams with pride, so perhaps is was the right thing to say after all.

Her new son-in-law asks Miko to dance and Rodney and Radek stand a little to the side and watch the crowd.

“You are almost ready, yes?” Radek’s eyes don’t leave the dance floor.

“Yes.” There’s no point in lying to Radek, and he’s not sure he could.

“And it will work, yes?”

A happy wedding, lots of laughing young people. Radek doesn’t wait for his answer.

“You know, I always wondered if I would ever have seen Miko as more than a colleague if we hadn’t left Atlantis.” He still doesn’t look at Rodney.

Satsuko twirls before them, happy and pretty and alive in a way Rodney hasn’t felt for years.

“I think it will work” Radek says quietly.

 
End

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

The last one was especially compelling and so sad as it shows that after all, with Rodney's changing the timeline, in the show timeline - let's call it "most probable timeline" it is possible that so many desrving people will not be born.

--Silverthreads

[less-star.livejournal.com]

I know. You're not supposed to go back in time and change things, and Rodney's certainly smart enough to know this. I think it says a lot about the despair he must have felt.