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sga_flashficTitle: Drinking Games
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Does what it says on the label. John Sheppard's point of view.
John slammed his shot glass onto the sticky surface of the table and glanced around the small group that had survived his gauntlet. At his feet, McKay was passed out and snoring, an early victim of Ring of Fire. A lot of the other scientists had chickened out or stumbled off to puke into the ocean soon after they'd started playing Truth or Dare, and most of the Marines had headed off to bed when John had changed the game to Arrogance. Teyla, who had watched them all in amusement, declining their offers of alcohol or, as the night wore on, more explicit activities, had finally left the Mess half an hour ago after warning them not to do anything she wouldn't. Fuck The Dealer had finished Lorne off five minutes later, which left the motley group that remained around the table.
Ronon grabbed the bottle of vodka and poured everyone a new shot. “I have never,” he rumbled, his voice tickling John's bare feet, “Been turned down for sex.”
“Bullshit,” John whined, fumbling for his glass again. When he'd ruled out anything Nationality-related for this game, he'd thought they were on even footing. What he'd forgotten was that Ronon Dex was way cooler than him and his little band of geeks and jarheads. Ronon was one of those thingies. Enigma. One of those.
“Your turn,” Ronon grunted, nudging the scruffy man next to him. Zelenka squinted at him a little, adjusted his glasses and took a thoughtful breath.
“I have never had to wear a dress for a lost bet,” he said, stabbing at the table with a finger and hitting his knee instead. As John picked up his shot glass again, he was at least mildly relieved to see the two Marines on either side of him follow suit. Even though one of them was Laura Cadman. She was a girl. Girl's wore dresses anyway, didn't they?
Maybe he better not tell her that.
“I have never passed out from sleep depervation. Deprivurshun. Lack of sleep,” he countered, smirking as Zelenka and Ronon both took a shot. To his left, Corporal Whatsisname twitched suddenly and sat up straight, pretending that he hadn't been on the verge of falling asleep.
“I have never been on a Wraith ship,” he said monotonously, his head falling back and his eyes half-closing. John threw back his shot, gathered the coordination to look sideways at the man and blinked at him.
“Go to sleep” he said. “That's an order. Or I'll court-martial you. In a court. If you don't go to bed.”
Corporal Thingy nodded and slumped sideways out of his chair, where he joined McKay and a couple of others on the floor. John stared at them. They looked a bit like dead bodies, really. Sleeping dead bodies with no blood. Weird.
“I have never peed myself in a swimming pool,” Cadman said. Her voice was a little muffled because she'd been chewing on her thumbnail for hours. Or about ten minutes. A long time. John and Zelenka took a shot. Ronon looked at his shot glass, decided that a river counted as a swimming pool and took a shot.
“I have never had a haircut,” Ronon said thoughtfully. Everyone else groaned and took a shot. Zelenka was starting to look a little green around the gills, and although Cadman looked as in- as un- as calm as ever, she'd been unusual quiet for a while now. As for John... well, he was pretty fucking pissed.
“I have never failed a spelling test,” Zelenka said, his voice strained a little as his face formed the familiar expression called Trying Not To Throw Up. When no-one made a move for their glasses, he slumped back in his chair in defeat, refusing the shot that Ronon held towards him. “Ne, ne – I think that is enough for me tonight,” he insisted, taking a deep breath and swallowing.
“Do you have to-” Ronon started to ask, but he didn't get through his sentence before Zelenka nodded and left the room as quickly as possible.
“Just us,” John mumbled. “You guys ready to quit?”
They heard the sound of hurling down the corridor. Cadman smirked a little and Ronon re-filled the glasses.
Inwardly, John groaned. If he quit before he passed out, he'd never hear the end of it from Ronon. The best he could do was finish himself off as quickly as possible, and preferably before the other two started having drunken sex.
And that was bound to happen. He'd been the last one standing with Ronon plenty of times before. The big guy got horny when he was drunk.
“I have never had a pet cat,” he slurred, letting himself slump back in his chair and hoping he wouldn't die of liver failure. Out of the corner of his blurred vision, he saw Ronon take a shot and he smiled to himself as the darkness closed in.
As usual, he dreamed of flying.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Does what it says on the label. John Sheppard's point of view.
John slammed his shot glass onto the sticky surface of the table and glanced around the small group that had survived his gauntlet. At his feet, McKay was passed out and snoring, an early victim of Ring of Fire. A lot of the other scientists had chickened out or stumbled off to puke into the ocean soon after they'd started playing Truth or Dare, and most of the Marines had headed off to bed when John had changed the game to Arrogance. Teyla, who had watched them all in amusement, declining their offers of alcohol or, as the night wore on, more explicit activities, had finally left the Mess half an hour ago after warning them not to do anything she wouldn't. Fuck The Dealer had finished Lorne off five minutes later, which left the motley group that remained around the table.
Ronon grabbed the bottle of vodka and poured everyone a new shot. “I have never,” he rumbled, his voice tickling John's bare feet, “Been turned down for sex.”
“Bullshit,” John whined, fumbling for his glass again. When he'd ruled out anything Nationality-related for this game, he'd thought they were on even footing. What he'd forgotten was that Ronon Dex was way cooler than him and his little band of geeks and jarheads. Ronon was one of those thingies. Enigma. One of those.
“Your turn,” Ronon grunted, nudging the scruffy man next to him. Zelenka squinted at him a little, adjusted his glasses and took a thoughtful breath.
“I have never had to wear a dress for a lost bet,” he said, stabbing at the table with a finger and hitting his knee instead. As John picked up his shot glass again, he was at least mildly relieved to see the two Marines on either side of him follow suit. Even though one of them was Laura Cadman. She was a girl. Girl's wore dresses anyway, didn't they?
Maybe he better not tell her that.
“I have never passed out from sleep depervation. Deprivurshun. Lack of sleep,” he countered, smirking as Zelenka and Ronon both took a shot. To his left, Corporal Whatsisname twitched suddenly and sat up straight, pretending that he hadn't been on the verge of falling asleep.
“I have never been on a Wraith ship,” he said monotonously, his head falling back and his eyes half-closing. John threw back his shot, gathered the coordination to look sideways at the man and blinked at him.
“Go to sleep” he said. “That's an order. Or I'll court-martial you. In a court. If you don't go to bed.”
Corporal Thingy nodded and slumped sideways out of his chair, where he joined McKay and a couple of others on the floor. John stared at them. They looked a bit like dead bodies, really. Sleeping dead bodies with no blood. Weird.
“I have never peed myself in a swimming pool,” Cadman said. Her voice was a little muffled because she'd been chewing on her thumbnail for hours. Or about ten minutes. A long time. John and Zelenka took a shot. Ronon looked at his shot glass, decided that a river counted as a swimming pool and took a shot.
“I have never had a haircut,” Ronon said thoughtfully. Everyone else groaned and took a shot. Zelenka was starting to look a little green around the gills, and although Cadman looked as in- as un- as calm as ever, she'd been unusual quiet for a while now. As for John... well, he was pretty fucking pissed.
“I have never failed a spelling test,” Zelenka said, his voice strained a little as his face formed the familiar expression called Trying Not To Throw Up. When no-one made a move for their glasses, he slumped back in his chair in defeat, refusing the shot that Ronon held towards him. “Ne, ne – I think that is enough for me tonight,” he insisted, taking a deep breath and swallowing.
“Do you have to-” Ronon started to ask, but he didn't get through his sentence before Zelenka nodded and left the room as quickly as possible.
“Just us,” John mumbled. “You guys ready to quit?”
They heard the sound of hurling down the corridor. Cadman smirked a little and Ronon re-filled the glasses.
Inwardly, John groaned. If he quit before he passed out, he'd never hear the end of it from Ronon. The best he could do was finish himself off as quickly as possible, and preferably before the other two started having drunken sex.
And that was bound to happen. He'd been the last one standing with Ronon plenty of times before. The big guy got horny when he was drunk.
“I have never had a pet cat,” he slurred, letting himself slump back in his chair and hoping he wouldn't die of liver failure. Out of the corner of his blurred vision, he saw Ronon take a shot and he smiled to himself as the darkness closed in.
As usual, he dreamed of flying.
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(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-22 10:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-23 01:51 pm (UTC)Light filtered in through the stained glass, stabbing at John's closed eyelids like an insistent mother armed with handfuls of needles.
He groaned. He rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes. He buried his face in the warm surface underneath his head.
The warm surface twitched and shifted into a more comfortable position.
John opened his eyes and sat up.
He blinked.
"Where..." he croaked, his mouth tasting like fuzzy death. He swallowed, licked his lips and tried again.
"Where the hell are my pants?"
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-23 04:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-23 04:46 pm (UTC)Or he was abducted by some pants-eating aliens and he's sleeping on top of a Wookie.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-23 04:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-22 10:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-23 01:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-23 12:42 am (UTC)Love John's train of thought... or lack thereof..... LOL...
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-23 01:54 pm (UTC)'s a nice chair.
What... what did you say? Where...?
That's a nice chair. Nice. Chair.
Although that's more like stoned behaviour than drunken behaviour. Oh well. I act like that when drunk too.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-23 01:56 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-23 01:56 pm (UTC)Besides, Ronon fights dirty. It's hard to win a bathroom race when someone grabs you around the waist and licks your ear. Makes you stop for a sec, and that's all he needs :p
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-23 02:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-23 01:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-23 03:14 am (UTC)Hahaha I wonder if John found that out from personal experience.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-23 01:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-23 11:18 am (UTC)Thank you!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-23 01:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-24 03:43 pm (UTC)Love Corporal Thingy. Getting court-martialed. In a court. ROTFL! Nice job.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-24 06:57 pm (UTC)See how I used the power of drunkenness to avoid creating a character there? Corporal Thingy. You know, the guy. With the hair. Sort of... this tall and he wears a uniform.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-25 12:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-25 04:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 01:24 am (UTC)Don't worry, hon, Radek's still concious. ~.^
This fic amused the beejeezus out of me. Great take on the challenge.
DragonLady
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 05:49 pm (UTC)As usual, he dreamed of flying.
Date: 2009-06-28 07:27 pm (UTC)No matter how WOXOF conditions become, it is always at the forefront of his mind.......
>;-)
Re: As usual, he dreamed of flying.
Date: 2009-06-29 09:10 pm (UTC)*pretends she didn't have to Google that acronym*